The People We Could Be
by StrangeAttractors
Summary: Alice and Bella begin to uncover an intimate side to their friendship, but they soon realize desire is a slippery slope and what may make them happy could devastate the world around them. As if Edward and Jasper weren't enough to worry about, Alice has skeletons in her closet that refuse to be buried in the past and threaten everything she has ever believed in. *Femslash*
1. Chapter 1: The People We Could Be

**A/N: This was just a random idea I got while watching The Vampire Diaries and now it has somehow snow-balled into a full blown story. I hope you enjoy!**

**Stephanie Meyers owns the world! We all know that.**

"Ahhhhh! Why is this so sappy?" Alice threw her head back into the couch, covering her face with one of the decorative plaid pillows. Whoever thought plaid was 'decorative' for anything other than school girl uniforms and kilts was seriously disturbed, and definitely hadn't seen Charlie's design scheme .

I pulled futilely against the pillow trying to pry it from Alice's cemented grip, as she wriggled back and forth attempting (and succeeding at) blindly dodging my hands.

"No fair Alice, you said I could pick our next activity if I went shopping with you. I have twelve shirts and five new skirts -that'll I'll never wear- that proves I honored my end of the bargain." I scolded, as I gently tugged on the edge of the pillow, resigned to the fact that I couldn't pull it away.

"But Bella," She whined as she moved the pillow into her lap, and stared at me directly. "watching The Vampire Diaries is just plain cruel. You do realize that don't you?"

"I know you think I'm doing this to get revenge for the whole shopping thing today, but honestly the show isn't so bad." I said sincerely, although the disbelieving look Alice was giving me proved it wasn't working.

"You'd think after meeting Vampires in real life, that watching this drabble wouldn't be so interesting to you." Alice said sighing heavily as she took the remote from my hands and grudgingly pushed play.

I gave her a gracious smile as I pulled the blanket that was draped on the back of the couch around the two of us and rested my head against her shoulder.

"Thanks Alice." I whispered softly against her bare shoulder, feeling her stiffen for a second before she smiled and pulled the blanket tighter around us. I ignored her reaction as I focused my attention back to the television where Stefan was fighting with Damon…again.

I'd spent the entire weekend with Alice while Edward and Jasper went out for a hunting weekend. Lately it seemed like all my free time was spent with Alice. If Edward had a problem with it he certainly didn't show it. He knew Alice and I were close and was very understanding about our "girl time." Which only made me feel guiltier in moments like this where all I could think about was how Alice's hair tickled my cheek when I leaned in too close, or every time I touched her my skin felt like it was buzzing, and most of all how much I wanted to kiss her.

But, no.

It was wrong. It's a betrayal to Edward and Jasper. I couldn't do that to them.

Could I?

Sometimes when Alice was concerned I simply couldn't think straight. No pun intended…well…maybe a little.

"So, Stefan _and _Damon are both in love with this Elena girl?" Alice asked, distracting me from my inner musings.

"Uhh, yeah." I answered.

"Hmmm." She hummed contemplatively.

"What is it?" I asked, my curiosity getting the best of me because she was clearly thinking about something.

"Nothing. It's just…you do realize how similar this is to you, Edward and Jacob right?"

"No, it's not! It's completely different, they're _both_ vampires and it's…completely different." I stuttered lamely, even as my mind began to slowly piece the similarities of my life and the TV series together.

Alice gave me a you-can't-be-serious look and I conceded once again, as I realized she was right. "Well, maybe just a little bit." I agreed.

"A LOT of bit!" Alice shouted jokingly, and I laughed at her enthusiasm. "I guess if Edward is Stefan that would make me who? Caroline?" Alice asked excitedly, staring at me for confirmation.

"Probably. I mean she does love parties, and shopping, and she's super peppy, and…"

"Okay, I get it. I'm Caroline." Alice cut me off, pressing her fingers to my lips to stop me from continuing. I froze with the sudden contact, looking down at her delicate fingers grazing my lips.

When she didn't immediately move her hand I grabbed it and slowly pulled it away from me, my eyes never leaving the sight of our two hands touching. I brought it to my lap and turned her palm over as I lightly traced the outline of it with my fingertips. "You couldn't totally be Caroline though." I heard myself say softly, still enraptured by the tingling feelings that touching Alice was giving me.

"Why not?" Her voice sounded strained and heavy, as if she was in pain or something. I looked up concerned, and was met with ink black eyes staring back at me. I jerked my hands back suddenly, thinking that maybe I'd cut myself or done something else equally clumsy to cause her instincts to peak.

"Alice…your eyes." I said, reaching towards her face and resting my hand on her cheek.

"I know." She hummed as she leaned into my palm. The feeling was so exquisite that for a moment I forgot about the 'wrongness' of it all and the fact that Alice was clearly in a vulnerable state- and I allowed myself to gently stroke her face.

"Am I imagining this?" I asked, unable to determine if this moment was just another one of my impromptu Alice fantasies or reality.

"No." She answered, her eyes had lightened to a dark amber and her voice sounded more in control than before but was still somewhat strained.

She leaned in closer to me, and I felt my heart hammer in my chest as if it would explode across the room any second. She inched closer and closer until our faces were centimeters apart and our lips were lightly grazing each other.

"If you were imagining it you wouldn't be able to feel this." Her mouth moved softly against mine as she spoke and then she dipped her head in and captured my lips between hers.

It was the softest touch I'd ever felt on my skin. So different from Edward's or Jacob's kisses. It was like the petals of a flower bud were blooming against my lips, and I could taste the sweetness of Alice on my tongue.

Alice felt _so_ _good_.

I moved by mouth against hers tentatively at first, like drinking something hot and taking sips to get a small taste even though you really want to gorge yourself on it. I was drinking small sips of Alice's tongue, her lips, her neck and then along her collarbone.

I was burning up, it was like she was setting me on fire and it felt amazing. It wasn't until I felt her hands slowly creep under the edge of my shirt that I pulled away, breathless and flushed.

"I'm sorry." Alice blurted as soon as I pulled away. I looked to the carpet to keep from meeting her eyes, knowing that I didn't have the will power to keep myself away from her for too long.

"No. It's fine…I…" I paused. "I liked it Alice." I chanced meeting her eyes again and held her gaze to let her know that I was sincere.

Alice moved in closer and I involuntarily tensed, afraid of how my body might betray me again. She noticed my reaction and stopped short, a forlorn and disappointed expression on her face.

"I don't think I'm Caroline at all Bella." She said quietly looking at her hands. "I'm Damon, always wanting someone I can never have."

I felt my eyes begin to cloud with tears as I listened to her speak. She was blaming herself, when this was both of our burden. I crawled over to her and laid my head in her lap as I the tears softly escaped my eyes and slid down my cheek.

"Forget about the people we could be. You're just Alice. That's all you'll ever need to be. _My _Alice." I said quietly, grabbing her hand and softly touching my lips to her fingers.

"I love you Alice." I said as I closed my eyes and relaxed against her fingers that were softly raking through my hair.

"I love you too Bella." She whispered gently into my ear. "Always."


	2. Chapter 2:  Decisions

**A/N: Hey fellow Bellice shippers! Thanks so much to everyone who read Chapter 1 or reviewed! I never expected to get so many hits. I wasn't going to continue the one-shot but I got a couple of requests to provide some closure to the story (plus I was bored), so I decided to multi chapter it. I'm not sure how long it will be, or if the rating will change, or what exactly I want to happen. But, I'm going to try to make it sensible and I'll keep you guys posted on any changes. **

**Hope you enjoy!**

**Stephanie Meyers owns the world, and I just live in it. **

**Chapter 2 - Decisions**

The instant I sat down at the Cullen lunch table I knew it was a mistake. I should've convinced Edward to join me at my usual table with Angela and the others. I should've said I was feeling ill and needed to have a 'human moment'. But, no. What I did do was follow him to the table - lunch tray in hand- mentally scolding myself with every step.

I couldn't really fault Edward for wanting to spend more time with me. Naturally, he'd noticed my absence from the Cullen household this past week and had become concerned that something was wrong.

I did my best to convince him everything was fine by offering weak explanations like _Charlie wants me home early_, or _I've got tons of homework to finish_, or even _My truck stalled out_. All of which were relatively true statements, but were in no way the real reason I was avoiding his family. There was only one reason for my dodging…

Alice.

I hadn't spoken to her since we kissed last weekend, and with each passing day it was getting easier to lie to everyone but harder to stay away from her. I mean, I kissed Alice Cullen!

My best friend.

Edward's sister.

I needed time to digest what was happening with me and to figure myself out before I could see her again. I needed to know why my entire body ached when Alice so much as smiled in my direction. Or how I could be completely fine with being apart from Edward for a few days, yet feel like I was going through withdrawals when Alice wasn't around five minutes. I had to face the fact that…

I liked Alice.

No…_like_ was an understatement, but admitting anything more than that would destroy the carefully constructed bubble of denial I'd placed myself in.

I could accept that I loved Edward, and that I didn't want to hurt him. I knew that if I was with him then I couldn't be with Alice.

Right?

I sank into my seat at the wooden lunch table situated in the furthest corner of the cafeteria where the Cullen's usually 'pretended' to eat.

"Hey." I said casually, glancing around at everyone.

"Bella! Long time no see!" Emmett shouted, reaching across the table to ruffle my hair in an annoying, yet somehow charming, way. I grimaced as I swatted his massive hand away and attempted to straighten the mess he'd made.

Rosalie and Jasper nodded their greetings as Edward lowered into the seat beside me.

Alice said nothing.

In fact she was so quiet I might not have noticed she was there at all had I not been intentionally seeking her out the moment I started towards their table.

It wasn't like I didn't deserve the cold shoulder -especially considering she had to be freezing with the one I'd given her- but it didn't make it any less hurtful to have her ignore me.

I started eating my lunch as Emmett launched into his recount of everything that I'd misses the past week. After five minutes I tuned out, my mind deep in thought, until I heard him say something that caught my attention.

"We all missed you around the house, especially Alice over here." He said. My head snapped up from my plate and I looked to Emmett, who was motioning towards Alice with a solemn expression on his face.

My eyes traveled from him to her and she looked away as soon as our eyes connected.

I took in her appearance as she gazed out the window. It was obvious from her posture and the way she refused to make eye contact that she was upset. She looked distressed, and it unnerved me to see Alice in such a subtle state of exhaustion. Alice _never_ looked frazzled. She was always so well-maintained and composed.

Just when I was beginning to think that I was the only one who'd noticed any of this, my gaze shifted to Jasper. He was staring at me with an indiscernible expression, that seemed to be a cross between skepticism and confusion.

"Perhaps, you can come over tonight?" Edward suggested, pulling my attention away from Alice and Jasper. "Esme would be really excited. She's been trying out a bunch of recipes for days to test on you." He smile warmly, taking my hand in his on top of the table.

"Uhh, yeah sure. Sounds great." I agreed, though my mind was still elsewhere. Edward grinned happily, then lifted my hand to his lips, placing a chaste kiss on my forehand. I tensed at the gesture as my mind flew back to images of Alice and I curled up on the sofa, her fingers on my lips. Then her lips on my lips. Then her fingers grazing my naked abdomen.

Stop.

This wasn't the place nor the time to be entertaining sordid scenarios of Alice and I; especially while Jasper was around to _feel_ it. I smiled stiffly at Edward, as I mentally escorted the thoughts of Alice's touch from my head, then turned back to distractedly finish my lunch.

I listened absentmindedly as Edward began discussing some sheet music he was planning on buying with Jasper, while Emmett and Rosalie conversed flirtatiously with each other at the other end of the table.

Unable to repress my curiosity, my eyes shifted back to Alice who was still staring out the cafeteria window into the mass of vegetation and trees outside the school.

I wanted to say something to her -an apology, a greeting, polite conversation, _anything_- but it seemed like all the words got stuck in my throat. Alice didn't deserve to be shut out from my life. She didn't deserve the screened calls, or ignored e-mails I put her through the past seven days. But, I did it because I was weak…because _she _made me weak. For fuck's sake all she was doing was sitting there and it was driving me up a wall.

"I'll be right back." I said to Edward as I stood up from my seat suddenly. I noticed Alice turn to watch me in my peripherals as I exited the cafeteria, but I resisted looking back for fear that she would read the guilt in my eyes. I was halfway down the school halls when a firm grip on my wrist stopped me.

I spun around quickly -annoyed with whoever it was that had chosen to stop me- and was met with the stoic gaze of a familiar blonde vampire.

"Rosalie." I breathed out, calmer now that I knew who it was…but also more on edge now that I knew who it was.

"What's up with you two?" She said abruptly before I could question why she was here. Her gaze was hard as stone, but there was a subtle consideration in her eyes, that was searching my face for some unwritten message.

"What are you talking about?" I asked looking past her and down the hall for anyone that might overhear our conversation. I was half certain I already knew what she meant, but I didn't want to trap myself if I turned out to be wrong. Especially not when it was Rosalie who was asking. She was the reigning champion of the **Pretend Bella Doesn't Exist** club. So the fact that she noticed _anything_ about me at all was surprising.

"What is going on with _you _and _Alice_?" She emphasized the words in a patronizing tone that made me roll my eyes in annoyance. "You two haven't said a single word to each other since you sat down. And considering Alice hasn't stopped talking about you since last weekend, and you haven't stopped staring at her since you entered the cafeteria, I'm guessing something is wrong." She finished bluntly, crossing her arms in front of her chest and jutting out her hip in a classic HBIC manner that said she was deathly serious.

"There's nothing going on Rosalie." I lied, moving to continue down the hall, but when I turned around Rosalie had blurred ahead of me blocking my path.

"Do you want to try that again?" She asked with a slight edge to her voice.

"Look Rosalie, I don't know what to tell you." I raised my voice, agitated by the fact that she wouldn't let it go.

"Bella, I'm not a patient person but I'm trying to be understanding." Her voice softened, as her shoulders relaxed and she allowed her hands to fall by her side. "Alice doesn't get upset easily or often. I want to know what's bothering her, and I know that you know something. Just tell me if I need to be concerned." She finished, and for the first time since I'd known Rosalie I could tell she was sincere.

I stared at her for several seconds before I finally found my voice. "No, you don't have anything to worry about. I'll fix it." My tone had a strength to it that I didn't think was possible at this moment, and I watched as relief slowly washed over her features.

"Good." She said sternly, and without another word she walked away leaving me alone in the hall.

I sighed, realizing that avoidance was only making things worse. I knew what I had to do.

I had to talk to Alice.

**So there's chapter 2. PM me if there is anything you'd like to see happen in the story. I'm open to suggestions.**

**I'll try to update as soon as I can. **


	3. Chapter 3: Happy Mistake

**A/N: Hey to all you readers! I know it's been a while since i updated, but in my defense this was a difficult chapter for me to write. There were a couple key things that needed to be placed in here for the rest of the story to progress smoothly, so I hope it all works out. Thank you to everyone who reviewed! Even if I haven't responded to your review yet trust me that it totally makes my week when I see them! So, thanks. :)**

**And a quick heads up there is a slighty 'M'/PG-13 scene coming up. Just so you know.**

**Enjoy!**

**Stephanie Meyers makes the world spin...I'm just along for the ride.**

**APOV**

"Alice will you stop pacing and have a seat! Worrying isn't going to make you feel any better." Rosalie huffed, as she turned the page in her magazine. I glared at her, then grudgingly took a seat on the edge of the mattress.

I didn't understand how she could just lay there, casually flipping through an issue of Italian Vogue, as if I didn't just admit to her that I'd made out with my brothers' girlfriend. I wasn't sure whether to be insulted by her cavalier attitude, or relieved that she wasn't berating me about the ethics of monogamy.

"After what I just told you could you at least pretend to care?" I said as my frustration spiked into full-on anger at her nonchalance.

Rosalie looked up with an incredulous expression, then snapped the book shut and tossed it to the other side of the bed.

"I do care! I just can't believe you had me this concerned over a little kiss. I mean, is it really such a big deal?" She sounded genuinely confused as to why this would upset me. "I've kissed other people since being with Emmett. It doesn't mean that I love him any less. The same way it doesn't mean you love Jasper any less after kissing _Bella_." She waved her hand in the air dismissively as she said Bella's name, a look of distaste clearly written on her face.

I knew that Rosalie had been with others besides Emmett over the years - mostly human and mostly women - but we'd never talked about it. Rosalie was a private person, who kept her secrets locked away the way most people safeguarded money or expensive jewelry. She didn't understand that not everyone's marriage was as fluid as hers.

"It's different for me Rose." My voice was firm though my eyes wandered away from her, looking out the window of my room.

"What's so special about her? I thought you and Jasper were happy together. Why can't you just forget about it?" Rosalie asked curiously, her voice was softer now and I could tell she was making a real effort to be considerate of how I felt.

"How I feel for Bella is no different than how I feel for Jasper." I whispered quietly, though I knew she would still hear me. "I don't want her to be with Edward. I want her to be with me."

I could see Rosalie go stiff in my peripherals as she simply stared at me in stunned silence.

I had never admitted my feelings for Bella out loud because it scared me to acknowledge them. It was as if vocalizing it suddenly made it seem more real…more permanent. More dangerous.

But I couldn't take the words back once they were out.

I didn't want to.

After Bella started dating Edward last year, I repressed my attraction for her much like Edward repressed his thirst for her blood. I knew that my family would suffer if they knew how I really felt. I'd seen it hundreds of times in visions. Sometimes it was images of Edward -suicidal and at the feet of the Volturi- or Jasper leaving without a word to anyone, or Esme dry sobbing over Jasper and Edward's abrupt departure. Whatever I decided someone always got hurt; so I ignored what I felt to prevent the damage it could cause.

But lately, as Bella and I began spending more and more time together, it became clear that I was fighting a losing battle. Love isn't something you can shut off like a faucet, it will always find a way to leak into your life until you are filled with its pleasures…or its pain.

I loved Bella but it hurt me to admit it.

Rosalie looked as if she was close to saying something when a slamming car door interrupted her. We both paused, then walked to my bedroom window looking out into the front driveway. We watched as Bella exited her truck - followed closely by Edward - then proceeded up the walkway to our house.

"You need to talk to her." Rosalie muttered sullenly. "Find out if she's worth all the trouble this will cause." Without another word she grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the room with her and down the stairs.

As we approached the living room I could hear Edward, Bella and Esme talking in the kitchen. Esme had been cooking for hours preparing dinner for Bella and from the amount of food she bought it seemed more likely that she would be cooking for the wolf pack rather than a teenage human girl.

I glanced around at everyone as we entered the kitchen. Edward was stirring a small pot on the stove, looking like the poster boy for GQ and Gourmet magazine all rolled into one. Bella suddenly found something very interesting to stare at on her shoes the moment she noticed me in the doorway, and Esme just smiled brightly as she watched us walk in.

"Girls, can you set the table for Bella? I'll be finished with the garlic bread in a couple minutes." Esme said warmly, as she moved to the oven and brushed the toasted bread with some type of seasoned oil.

"I'll do it." Rosalie said quickly heading towards the dish cabinet and pulling out a plate and glassware. She tossed me a pointed look over her shoulder, and inclined her head in Bella's direction, an obvious hint for me to do something other than stand around.

Taking the hint, I quietly walked up behind Bella and leaned down to her ear. "We need to talk." I whispered softly. She flinched at my sudden closeness, clearly unaware that I had approached her, then turned in her seat to face me.

I couldn't give her the option of declining, so I gently grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet. "Esme I'm borrowing Bella for a bit. We'll be back soon." I said with false cheer as I dragged Bella with me out the back door -ignoring Edward's disappointed frown and Rosalie's self satisfied smirk as I left.

We came to a stop in an isolated area of the forest, far enough that no one would hear or see us. She'd remained silent and unusually compliant the entire walk, and it was putting me a bit on edge. She was responding spontaneously so I couldn't even predict what would happen.

When I turned around I was met with two questioning brown eyes boring into me.

"What did you want to talk about?" Her hands twisted awkwardly in her jacket pockets and I knew she was nervous.

"You know what I want to talk about." I said bluntly taking a step closer to her. "You've been avoiding me Bella."

"No, I haven-"

"Yes, you have." I interrupted knowing that she was going to deny it and she looked away, chewing on her lip guiltily. I sighed raking my hands through my hair, suddenly feeling very frustrated.

"Maybe it was a mistake in kissing you Bella." I crouched down resting my elbows on my knees, disregarding the fact that my jeans were becoming damp from the moist soil and that the grass stains probably wouldn't come out.

"I was being selfish and impulsive and I didn't think about the confusion it would cause between us." I felt ill with every word that left my lips and I tried to disregard the pained expression forming on her face.

This whole thing was my fault. I should've been stronger than my instincts, but I wasn't. Instead I initiated the kiss and Bella was the one to pull back. Which meant I was the bad guy.

I was the guilty one.

"A mistake?" Her eyes swelled with tears that I couldn't bear to watch fall, so I lowered my head.

I heard her shift ahead of me but I kept my eyes focused on the ground; until I felt Bella's warm, slender, fingers softly slide across my cheek. She guided my face upwards until we were looking directly at each other.

"I want you Alice." She said lowly, and I struggled to shake the lightheaded feeling that instantly overwhelmed me after her statement. I was a vampire dammit, I didn't get _lightheaded_.

"I want you so bad it hurts me." Bella said -her voice sad and passionate- and with those eight words I lost all grip on reality. The next few movements were a blur, so much so that I couldn't tell who initiated the contact first. All I knew was that Bella's tongue was in my mouth and my back was pressed roughly against the thick trunk of a nearby tree.

I tugged harshly on her jacket pulling her body flush with my own while she tangled her fingers in my hair. She nipped playfully at my jaw line, moving down to the base of my neck, and I titled my head back to allow her better access. "It wasn't a mistake." She muttered breathlessly in between wet kisses placed along my collarbone. I tired to respond but Bella's lips, tongue, and teeth sliding across my skin prevented any coherent thoughts from escaping me.

Every part of my body felt drawn to her and suddenly kissing her just didn't feel like enough. In the back of my mind I knew it wasn't the best idea to be pushing the limits my vampire control, especially in such an isolated place where no one would be able to stop me. I was sure that that my control was better than Edward's, but that was with _**normal**_, _**everyday**_ _**Bella**_.

Not horny, vulnerable, kissing my neck Bella.

Her scent was clouding my senses and enveloping me in a haze of lust and bliss. It inspired only one thought in my head…I needed more of her.

I swiftly reversed our positions, so that Bella's back was pinned against the tree and I was pressed into her front. She gasped at the sudden motion, her eyes meeting mine for the first time since we started, and I knew instantly from the way her eyebrows furrowed in concern that my eyes must've been black as coal.

"It's okay." I reassured her, only half realizing how husky my voice seemed. Bella relaxed and I took it as a permission to continue, leaning up and seizing her lips once more. My fingers inched up her sides until I reached the underside of her bra, which incited a sharp inhale from Bella as my fingers grazed over her breasts.

Her heart pounded frantically against my fingertips, and the sound of her pulse spiking every time my tongue grazed her lip was making every inch of my body throb delightfully.

She brought her right hand up to clutch eagerly at my hair, keeping my mouth firmly attached to hers, while the other hand gripped at the chipped bark of the tree. Bella squirmed beneath me as I pressed my body against hers, steadily massaging the mounds of her breasts with careful attention. I swallowed her moans in my mouth, completely consumed by the glory of Bella's body.

Suddenly a familiar scent entered the air and I froze in my motions, pulling back from Bella slightly so that I could see her face. She looked at me confusedly, before pulling my mouth back towards hers to continue our actions. When I resisted she stopped and dropped her hands at her side.

"What is it?" She asked, vulnerability and confusion clear in her tone.

"You're bleeding." I said dreadfully, scanning her body for damages. I followed the scent to her hand, seeing several small scrapes etched across her palm from where she'd been gripping the tree.

"I'm so sorry Alice. I didn't realize that…Alice…Alice?" I could vaguely hear Bella's voice calling my name but I couldn't bring myself to focus on anything other than the thick, crimson, liquid that was streaking her palm.

Blood.

Bella's blood.

It was too much temptation. I felt my throat burn painfully as the thirst amplified and I tried in vain to suppress the venom collecting in my mouth. This wasn't a good situation. The scent of Bella's arousal permeated the air and mixed with the smell of blood, making the desire to feed unbearable.

I pulled her hand roughly to my face, inhaling the scent of her blood as I forced her further against the tree. In the back of my mind I knew that I should stop. I knew this was wrong. I knew I was losing control. I knew Bella was scared, her heart was hammering in her chest but the sound only fueled my thirst.

Bella was still calling my name. She was trying to pry her hand from my grip but it was a futile attempt against my strength.

I wanted her blood.

I needed her blood.

"Alice! Alice please just look at me. You can resist this, just look at me!" Bella's voice broke through my haze and I turned to face her. Her forehead was creased with worry and her eyes looked to be on the verge of tears. I drew back sharply at the sight of her expression, taking a small step away from her. Bella tried to follow me, her hand outstretched to comfort me but I blurred several meters ahead avoiding her touch.

I almost bit her. I almost tasted Bella's blood.

"Alice it's okay. You didn't mean-"

"Dinner is ready." A familiar voice interrupted before Bella could finish, drawing our attention to the far right of the clearing. I turned to see Rosalie walking toward me, though her eyes were sternly locked on Bella. "Edward was starting to wonder where you were." She added with knowing inflection to her tone as she eyed Bella. Bella's eyes narrowed at Rosalie's last statement then shifted back to me, softening as she watched me. I could see the struggle in her eyes, she was conflicted between staying with me or leaving to placate Edward. But I already knew what she was going to decide…I'd seen it.

"Go back to the house Bella. I'll be fine. I just…need some fresh air." She looked like she wanted to protest but I held up my hand stopping her. "Please." I said allowing my desperation to seep into my tone; I needed time to recollect myself before I could be near her again. She sighed dejectedly then turned and headed back towards the house.

"You okay?" Rosalie asked coming to rest a gentle hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah." I said feeling more like myself now that the scent of Bella's blood was clearing from the air. Rosalie looked relieved at my response.

"Was it worth it?" She inquired as she began straightening the frazzled state of my hair and blouse.

I sighed. "She'll always be worth it…and that's the problem." I looked to Rosalie and she just gave me a sad smile before wrapping an arm around my shoulder and walking with me through the forest.

What the hell have I gotten myself into?

**A/N: So there's chapter 3. I'm still open to suggestions for what should happen next. So feel free to hit me up in the PM. And to those of you who made suggestions, I tried to implement some of them in this chapter. I hope you like the direction so far.**


	4. Chapter 4: Lover I Don't Have To Love

**A/N: For some reason I was feeling really motivated this week so I'm updating a lot sooner than usual. Yay. This chapter is pretty short and I'm not sure what most of you will think, but trust me there is a method to my madness.**

**Remember Stephanie Meyers owns everything, I am but a simple messenger.**

**Enjoy!**

**BPOV**

I stumbled into the living room lazily, collapsing on the sofa as soon as I entered. I rolled onto my back rubbing my stomach soothingly to try and quell the bloated feeling I had after going head-to-head with Esme's cooking. I suppose it was just one of the downsides of being the only human amongst a house of overly-curious and overly hospitable vampires. Thankfully Edward intervened before Esme could suggest a third helping of lasagna and dessert. It was really easy for them to forget that humans had many limitations since none of them had been human in decades. I can't tell you how many times I've had to remind Edward of the appropriate sleeping and eating habits of humans.

At least I knew I wouldn't have to cook dinner for a couple days, given that Esme packed enough leftovers for Charlie to be more than satisfied. He likely wouldn't be home until later tonight, he'd been working late nowadays on some disappearance cases from Seattle. Which meant I spent the times when Edward or Jacob weren't visiting home alone.

I slid of the sofa lethargically and headed up to my room, the days events had worn me out and all I wanted to do was get some sleep. I pushed the door to my room open and jumped in surprise when I saw that there was someone already in it. Alice watched me with amusement as she sat balanced precariously on my windowsill.

I guess sleep could wait a while.

"Sometimes I think you guys enjoy scaring me." I said jokingly as I pushed the door shut behind me and I made my way over to Alice.

"Sometimes we do." Alice said smiling widely before her expression gradually faded to a more somber tone. I could tell she was recalling something more serious in her head and I gave her a gentle nudge urging her to say what was on her mind.

"Were you scared tonight? After what I did?" Her voice had gone low and she looked away from me clearly ashamed about what had happened. She and Rosalie had never returned to the house after I left them in the forest and I'd assumed Alice was using the time to regain her composure before being challenged with my scent again. I couldn't blame her for not coming inside, she was just playing it safe.

Admittedly I'd been shocked by Alice's actions but never once did I feel in danger. Vampire or not I knew that Alice would never hurt me, I knew that even if it seemed impossible Alice would always find a way to protect me. It's one of the things I loved about her. She made me feel safe and I trusted her.

I shook my head 'no' to her question, then realized she couldn't see me so I lifted her face to look at me directly.

"I wasn't scared Alice. I could never be afraid of you, because I know you'd never do anything to hurt me." I brushed a strand of her spiky black hair behind her ear then let my fingers trail along her jaw line. She shivered at the touch and I swallowed thickly as images of our encounter in the forest flashed behind my eyelids.

"But I am hurting you Bella." Alice whispered vehemently, removing my had from her face. "You just don't realize it yet. Everything we're doing right now is going to destroy so many people. What do you think will happen if Jasper and Edward find out about us? Do you think that Edward will want to share you with me anymore than he did with Jacob?" Her voice was soft though her words were sharp and her eyes searched mine pleadingly, silently begging me to understand what she was telling me even though I didn't want to acknowledge it.

"It's always going to be this difficult Bella and we can't pretend that this is alright anymore. It feels amazing being with you, I never thought anything could feel as good as it does to simply hold you, or kiss you, and I don't want to let that go." Her eyes were glossy and I knew had she been human tears would be flowing freely down her face. "It's the feeling that comes after we leave each other that tells me this is can't last. The feeling that we've done something dishonorable that has to be kept a secret." Her voice was weak with emotion and I struggled to find the right words to ease her heartache; something that would make everything she'd said seem less true or less painful…but I couldn't. Instead I just pulled her down to the floor with me and held her in my arms as I gently rocked our bodies back and forth.

"I want to be with you Alice. I _can_ share. I'd do anything." I could feel the heat of my tears slowly streak down my cheeks and I knew that the shakiness in my voice was a sure indication that I was crying even though she couldn't see my face.

It was obvious to me before the words even left my mouth that they wouldn't make a difference in Alice's decision. She'd come here with a plan…a plan to end something.

To end what we'd started.

"I can't share you with anyone Bella and I'd never ask you to do that." She lifted her head from my shoulder staring into my eyes. "I'll always be in your life, but we both know it has to be as a friend. _Only as a friend._" My heart sank at her last words and I felt my mouth go dry at the surety of her statement. This couldn't be happening. How did this night go so wrong in such a short span of time? I wanted to take it all back, to somehow reclaim every minute of the day and change it so that this moment never existed. But I knew Alice was right. I wanted things from her that she couldn't give me, at least not with a clean conscience and without a heavy heart.

I felt myself nod in agreement even as my body felt numb and my head screamed at me to make this all go away.

"You're right." I lowered her head back onto my shoulder as I buried my face in her hair. "This does hurt."

**A/N: The next couple of chapters will have a bit more clarity to what will happen. I finally have an idea of where I want this to go, so I'm excited to get started on the next chapter. Suggestions are wholeheartedly accepted, so feel free to give some ideas. I love hearing from you guys! And thanks to all you beautiful people who left a review. You're amazing!**


	5. Chapter 5: Close Friendships

**A/N: Hey! So I'll admit the Mtv movie awards gave me a little bit of a push to speed up finishing this chapter. Especially considering Twilight pretty much dominated every category. Sorry about the wait. I hope you guys/gals enjoy this chapter, I gotta admit it's not my favorite. But idk, let me know what you think.**

**Stephanie Meyers is my homegirl, and she owns everything Twilight.**

**Close Friendships**

1 Month Later

**BPOV**

"Jaaaaaake! Put me down!" I screamed loudly as I pounded my fists on his back, but it seemed to only fuel his playfulness as he begun spinning me faster and faster over his shoulder. When he finally decided that behaving like a seven year old wasn't fun anymore he set me on my feet, with a huge grin still firmly fixed on his face.

"You're such a jerk." I shoved him in the shoulder with false indignation, the sudden motion causing me to wobble dizzily before Jake steadied me.

"What do you expect when it takes you two weeks to visit me? Phone calls alone are not enough for me Bella." He said with a scolding tone pointing a finger at my nose sternly before he broke out in laughter.

"Well, I'm here now so what've you got planned?" I asked curiously as Jake started to lead me up towards the beach. As we walked the smell of charcoal, spices and seawater hung deliciously in the air and the distant sounds of laughter became more distinct.

"We're having a good old fashion barbecue." Jake said happily as we emerged from the tree line onto the beach where a gathering of about 30 people were mingling around a large bonfire. I spotted Billy and Harry immediately near the grill piling slabs of assorted meats onto the fire, and I felt a smile spread across my face at the prospects of having a nice relaxing evening sans any of the drama of the past month hanging over my head.

The last month had been exhausting. My relationship with Alice seemed stable after our talk but there was still an overwhelming awkwardness whenever we were together. I'd become astutely more aware of Jasper's place in Alice's life and found it hard to ignore the public intimacies of their marriage knowing that I could never hold her, kiss her, or be with her the way he could. As hard as Alice may have tried to hide it I could tell that she wasn't comfortable in Jasper's arms anymore than I was in witnessing it.

I didn't know how Alice was managing to dodge both Edward's and Jasper's abilities full-time, but I was definitely thankful that she could. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep this from Edward forever and I wanted the option of telling him myself. As for Jasper…that was a decision I was leaving entirely up to Alice.

As if all that wasn't enough stress, Charlie was basically a ghost in the Swan residence. Whatever was going on in Seattle was keeping him busy 24/7, as well as paranoid for me and himself. Last night he'd come home and given me a can of mace as if he was expecting the boogeyman to pop around the kitchen corner any minute. Everything in my life was consumed by so much uncertainty, so it was refreshing to finally feel normal again.

Jake made me feel normal.

Which was ironic considering at least half of the people at this barbecue -including Jake- were shape shifting wolves. Regardless being around Jake had a way of instantly lightening my mood. He was one of my closest friends and, unlike Alice, that was exactly what I wanted from him.

A friendship.

Jacob stretched an arm across my shoulders as he led us towards the bonfire, where I took a seat on the edge of one of the large logs surrounding it. My eyes scanned the crowd and I noticed several familiar faces. Emily and Sam were hugged up on the log across from me giggling happily like two high school kids in love. I smiled tightly, hoping that Edward and I weren't nearly as clingy when we first started dating, and shuddering when I realized that Ilikely was. Embry, Paul and Seth were playing catch further out on the shore, each one attempting to outshine the other in speed, strength and throwing distance. Seth, though the youngest of the three, seemed to surpass Paul and Embry with surprising ease, much to their chagrin.

I glanced over the rest of the crowd curiously, pausing when my eyes landed on the form of Leah Clearwater. I took in her stiff posture for several seconds before my eyes traveled upward and I realized that she was staring straight at me.

No. Correction: she staring just to the right of me.

I turned, interested in what had captured her attention so intensely, only to realize that Jacob had taken a seat to my right after grabbing several hot dogs of the grill. My eyes shifted back and forth between Jacob and Leah confusedly, trying to confirm what I was seeing. What was going on here? In all the time that I'd known Leah never had I seen her with a look of such softness for anyone other than her mother or Seth. Leah had a disposition that could give even Rosalie's ice queen status a run for her money and now she was staring at Jake as if he was the most amazing human being to ever grace the earth.

Was I hallucinating?

Jake seemed completely oblivious to Leah's preoccupation with him as he took a massive bite from his hot dog, offering me the other with his free hand. I accepted it from him taking a more modest bite of it before looking back to Leah, who this time _was _staring at me. I faltered for a second under the intensity of her glare, nearly choking on my hot dog in the process. Jake gave me a comforting pat on the back to ease my coughing fit as he laughed at my clumsiness. 'Shit Bella, since when did eating become a challenge for you?' I mentally berated myself.

When I finally cleared my throat I looked back up to find an empty space where Leah previously stood. My eyes searched the area for her but she'd disappeared completely from view. I turned to Jake who had now started on his second hot dog with impressive vigor.

"Hey Jake?" I said dusting some of the crumbs off that had fallen onto his jeans.

"Yeah?" He asked with his mouth full of food and I suppressed the laugh threatening to escape my lips as I watched him struggle to swallow it all in one gulp.

"What's up with Leah?' I asked trying -and failing at- sounding nonchalant. Jacob looked at me suspiciously for a second, clearly perplexed at why I was asking about Leah. It was no secret that Leah hated me…hell she pretty much hated everyone after what happened between her and Sam, and I had never really spoken to Jake about her before.

"What do you mean?" His eyes began searching the mass of bodies for the brown-haired girl to no avail.

"It's probably nothing, but she seemed kinda off a moment ago when I saw her." I said, taking a careful bite of my hot dog.

"She was here?" Jacob asked in surprise and from his tone I could tell that this was something out of the ordinary.

"Yeah. Is that odd? I mean she does live in La Push." I threw my right leg over the log so that I was facing Jake.

"Well with the way she hides out in her house these days sometimes I forget we even live in the same state." He shook his head in disapproval and I lowered mine in quiet contemplation. I knew Leah wasn't exactly a social butterfly, but I never really pegged her for the type to be held up inside for too long. Leah was definitely the adventurous type and something had to be wrong for her to be isolating herself in her home, and after witnessing the way she was looking at Jake I suspected he was apart of it.

Whether he knew it or not.

"Enough talk about Leah. This is supposed to be Jacob/Bella time. _Remember_?" He smiled, before standing and dusting his hands off on his pants and offering me one and I grudgingly pushed my curiosity of Leah out of my head for another time.

We walked up the beach away from the others, our feet sinking in the cool, wet shoreline as the waves turned on the sand.

"So tomorrow's the big day." Jake said his voice breaking through the sounds of the ocean.

"Yeah."

"You don't sound too excited. Tomorrow is your 18th birthday Bella, you should be thrilled."

"That's what everyone keeps telling me." It seemed that everyone was excited for my birthday except me. Another year of aging wasn't something I wanted to be reminded of, let alone celebrate. "I kinda just want to ignore it." I said kicking at a rock in the sand frustrated.

"Hmmm, I think I can understand that." Jake murmured softly. "But does that mean you won't except my gift, because that'll be pretty hard considering you're already wearing it?" He said cryptically.

"What?" I searched my clothes for whatever he was referring to and found nothing, but as I reached to check my head a small, cold object brushed against my face. I held my arm out in front of me and watched as a shiny, bronze wolf dangled from my wrist.

"How did you-"

"When you were distracted at the bonfire I slipped it on." Jacob interrupted, answering my unfinished question.

"It's beautiful Jake." I whispered softly.

"I want you to always remember that I'm here for you Bella. No matter what happens. No matter if you 18 or 80, I'll be here for you. You're my best-friend but you're also a lot more than that." My eyes watered at the sincerity of his words and I moved in towards him wrapping my arms around his neck as he wrapped his around my waist.

"You're amazing Jake." I spoke into his shoulder. I pulled back and he gave me one last smile before angling his head back towards the bonfire. "C'mon I think there are still a couple burgers there with our names on 'em. I'll race you back" I shrugged, feigning disinterest in racing him, before taking off full speed towards the bonfire. I heard Jake yelling something like 'cheater' behind me but I just kept running, laughing the entire way back.

X/X/X/X/X/X

**APOV**

"Are you sure you really need all of these streamers?" Emmett asked as he sifted through a large box of decorations. He grimaced removing roll after roll of colorful paper twists from the box and placing them on the coffee table. Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper had been helping me for weeks in planning this birthday party for Bella, though despite all the effort to surprise her I was sure that she already knew it was going to happen. She'd been adamant that she didn't want a party, but it was her 18th birthday! How could I not celebrate? As vampires we often took for granted our aging, because no matter how many years went by we'd always remain the same. But Bella was human and while our presence on this earth was entirely supernatural, Bella's was simply a matter of good fortune. It wasn't just a birthday we were celebrating, it's was Bella's life.

"We don't have to use _all _of them Em. Just…most of them." I smiled cheekily knowing we would probably wind up using the entire box and Emmett just pouted as he began hanging the streamers around the room. I took a seat beside Rosalie on the sofa and started to wrap the gifts we'd all bought for Bella. Rosalie was wrapping her own because for some reason Edward and Rosalie both refused to tell me what they'd gotten Bella and had somehow even managed to prevent me from 'seeing' any of it. Needless to say that had only piqued my interest, but I would find out soon enough after the party tomorrow.

I wanted it to be special. I needed to prove to Bella that things could be normal for us again, that a platonic friendship was possible even after what we'd experienced with each other.

I needed _my _Bella back.

"What's wrong. You're anxious." Jasper's voice interrupted my thoughts and my attention turned to him standing behind the sofa. I sighed at his perceptivity, closing my eyes and focusing to try and reign in whatever emotions I was projecting. I knew Jasper couldn't help his ability, but that didn't make it feel any less intrusive to have a passenger in all the ups and downs of my emotional rollercoaster.

"I'm fine Jas." I said with forced cheer. I knew Jasper could tell I was faking by the way his eyebrows furrowed, and my guess was confirmed when I felt a wave of calm slowly envelop me. Surprisingly his actions only seemed to put me more on edge, and the fact that he was asserting his power on me only increased my irritation.

"Don't do that!" I snapped at him, quickly regretting it when I saw the hurt and confused expression that registered on his face. My face fell instantly to an apologetic expression.

"I'm sorry Jas, I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay Alice." He said gently. "I think we all could use a little break from the stress of preparations. I'm gonna go for a walk." Before I could say anything to dissuade him he was out the front door. I looked to Rosalie and she had her eyes focused on the gifts pretending not to have heard a thing, and Emmett actually didn't hear a thing given that he was too busy making a game out of how high he could hang the streamers.

"Hey sweetie, could you give us a minute." Rosalie called to Emmett. He jumped down from the staircase banister landing several feet in front us, then gave us a quick once over before nodding his head.

"Sure babe." His said happily, walking over to give Rose a quick kiss before heading out the front door.

"What was that all about?" Rosalie asked plainly, her eyes never leaving the gift in her lap which she was tightly wrapping a ribbon around.

"I don't know. I guess I'm just really nervous about Bella's party. I just want her to have a good time. I didn't mean to yell at Jasper."

Rosalie moved the box she was wrapping to the coffee table and turned to face me. "I know you didn't mean it honey, but you don't honestly think anything you're feeling is because of a birthday party do you?"

"What else would it be about?" I asked unsure of what she was getting at. She sighed in frustration, clearly hoping that I would've caught on so she wouldn't have to explain.

"Alice for the last three weeks you've been wound as tight as a drum, and I don't think it has anything to do with the party. I think it has everything to do with the arrangement you've made with Bella and it's making you miserable." I started to protest but she held up a hand silencing me. "I mean, think about it. You're the most affectionate person I've ever known, but when was the last time you and Jasper had sex?"

"Rose!" I shouted indignantly, off put by her bluntness.

"What? I'm being serious Alice! I mean the man is all over you, but you never touch him. You don't kiss him, you don't hug him, and you _don't_ sleep with him. That doesn't sound like a loving, happy marriage honey. That doesn't even sound like a close friendship." I stared at her angrily, unable to form a dignified response to deny her statement or prove her wrong. I thought about her words, then I thought about the past three weeks and I knew that she was right.

Fuck, I hated it when she was right.

I lowered my head to my hands in defeat. "Everything is so messed up Rose. How did I let it get this bad?" She started rubbing soothing circles on my back and I relaxed into the comforting gesture.

"It's going to be okay Alice. The party will be wonderful, Bella will love her gifts, and I'll help you fix things with Jasper. This all can be fixed. You just have to promise me that you'll let this Bella thing go. It was your idea to be friends, I can't help you if you don't stop punishing yourself for that decision." All I could manage was a simple nod.

I could fix this.

"Come on, let's go catch up with the boys." She said with a small smile pulling me up from the sofa. I followed her wordlessly out the front door, deep down regretting every step I was making. Deep down still hoping that I could fix this.

**A/N: So there's chapter 5. I'm taking you guys advice and trying to implement what you tell me in every chapter. The next chapter has definitely got some big changes coming up. I'll try to update as soon as I can! :)**

**Stay classy.**


	6. Chapter 6: The Party,  Part 1

**Hey all! I know it's been a while but I hope I can make it up to you with a slightly longer chapter than usual. Thanks to whoever is still sticking with this story! I appreciate anyone who takes the time out of their day to read anything I've written. Hope you enjoy!**

**S Meyers owns everything Twilight. Duh.**

**The Party (part 1)**

**APOV**

"Alice it's nice to see you, come on in." I smiled politely at Bella's father stepping inside. My eyes scanned the house for Bella but I was met with nothing but vacant rooms and empty furniture.

"How are you Charlie?" I asked not wanting to be rude.

"Ahhh, you know busy as usual. I can't really complain though. If you're looking for Bella she's upstairs with Edward." I frowned. Edward was here? Of course he was, 'He's Bella's boyfriend remember Alice.' I reminded myself as hopes of having Bella to myself for the afternoon became unlikely. I wondered if Bella had to remind herself of her relationship status nearly as often as I did? Then again maybe it was better for Edward to be around? I needed a buffer when it came to Bella, and there's nothing like your brother fawning over the girl you're secretly in love with to subdue your sexual frustration.

I made my way up the stairs, slowing to a more convincing human pace when in my rush I'd forgotten Charlie was still nearby, and gave a quick knock to Bella's door. She pulled the door back quickly, a wide smile appearing on her face as soon as she saw me and I wondered if maybe she'd she been waiting up for me.

"Hey." She said breathlessly.

"Hey yourself." I stepped inside and lowered the bags I was carrying to the floor. We stared at each other awkwardly for several uncertain moments -neither one of us sure if we should hug, kiss, shake hands or just run away- until Bella stepped forward and tightly encircled me in her arms.

"I'm happy you're here." She whispered against my shoulder, and I brought my arms around her neck pulling her into me. The tension surrounding us seemed to dissipate immediately with the simple embrace. "It's your birthday. I wouldn't miss it." Bella's heart raced against my chest and I figured I wasn't the only one who would hear it as I glanced back at Edward watching us from Bella's bed. I gave him a mental hello as I stepped out of Bella's arms slightly, and he nodded in return. She stared at me questioningly and I got the feeling she wanted to say something but she kept silent.

"I wish we could've been with you at school. I didn't know it would be so sunny today." I said trying to divert attention to a neutral topic. What could be more neutral than weather?

Bella shrugged. "You didn't miss much. The only people who made a big deal about it were Angela and Mike. I'll let you guess which one blabbed it to everyone and made the entire class sing me 'happy birthday' in every subject we shared." I laughed at the mortified look on Bella's face; I could only imagine how embarrassed she must've been. That definitely sounded like something Mike would do and I had to admit even though the boy was a bit thick he really had guts.

"I hope that won't discourage you from celebrating with us tonight?" I asked, hoping she wouldn't be even more resistant to having a party after Mike's antics.

"Are you kidding? You'd never let me live that down." She reassured and I relaxed.

"So, what's all this?" Her eyes moved curiously over the two bags at her feet.

"_This_ is everything I'll be using to get you ready for tonight. So, as far as hair and outfit goes I've got you totally covered." The excitement in my tone was in stark contrast to the familiar expression of horror Bella had at leaving me in charge of styling. "I promise it won't be nearly as bad as you think!" She sighed in resignation and I didn't need precognition to tell that she would cooperate with whatever I decided. I wasn't sure if it was because I was so persuasive or because Bella was so compliant, but she always seemed to concede easily with me.

Bella huffed flopping down beside Edward on her bed.

"Don't worry. You're in good hands with Alice." Edward said proudly staring at me with all the adoration and gentleness of an older brother and I blanched, momentarily reminded of that fact that my hands were anything but 'good' when Bella was concerned. Impatient, inappropriate, and eager maybe but definitely not _good_.

"I've got to go hunt, but I will see you both later on tonight." He leaned in over Bella bringing his lips to hers for a chaste but loving kiss and I looked away - not wanting to add salt to emotional wounds. Bella pulled back and I didn't need to see her face to know the silently apologetic expression that would be there. I'd seen enough of those looks the last two months and I didn't need to add another to my Bella guilt files.

"Happy Birthday love." Edward whispered. He gave me an encouraging smile on his way out of the room and I nodded my goodbyes. It wasn't until I heard the engine of his car fade down the street that I relaxed my mind and let my thoughts flow freely. It was hard keeping a mental barrier when I was around Edward, but nearly a century of living with a telepath had taught me quite a few tricks. Jasper's power on the other hand was virtually impossible to thwart, and sometimes I worried that he was on the verge of discovering everything. Last night after Rose and I caught up to him he seemed distant and I got the feeling that he was keeping something from me. Not that I could blame him with the amount of secrets I had piling up, but still it was unnerving. Jasper was a good man, a kind man and we'd been together for decades, before I'd ever met Carlisle. We shared a history that was indispensable and I never wanted to jeopardize that, I didn't want to devalue everything we'd been through. Yet I'd always known I wasn't meant to be with him the way he wanted. After so many years together we became so comfortable as friends that it only seemed natural to pursue a romantic relationship.

He was my first and only love, as far as I could remember, and it would break his heart to know that I couldn't reciprocate those feelings any longer.

"So, what's first on the list?" Bella's voice broke the haze I'd clouded myself in and I turned to see her on the floor to rummaging through the bags I'd brought in. I joined her -eager to put my mind on other things- and began helping her pull the items out.

"Well, I already have an idea of what you should wear. I've seen you in it already and trust me you're going to look amazing! We can do nails, hair and make-up before you get dressed so that nothing gets smudged and your hair doesn't frizz. I was thinking a emerald polish but I know you're not a fan of anything to flashy so maybe we can just do clear… " As I spoke Bella watched me with an amused expression that made me feel like I was involved in an inside joke I didn't really understand.

"What?" I asked starting to feel a bit insecure under Bella's humored gaze.

"It's nothing Ali…I've just never known anyone as into fashion as you are. It's cute when you ramble."

I smiled, ignoring the word 'cute' in that sentence and it's implications. "I'm glad you think so because I'm going to be doing a lot of rambling."

"I don't mind, you can do whatever you want." She conceded once again.

"It's _your _birthday, I should be saying that to you." I chided playfully.

Bella's eyebrows creased, as if she was considering my words, then her eyes dropped to my lips lingering there for several telling moments before she turned her head abashedly. It was brief but we both understood what she wanted to do, despite her silence.

"We should get started." I could tell she just wanted to move attention to something else so I abided, hoping it would at least lessen her blushing which was starting to make me feel a bit dizzy.

"Let's do hair first." I offered.

**1 hour later…**

"You can't be serious. There is no way a Transformer would stand a chance against Wolverine!" The look on her face was of total seriousness and I couldn't believe we were actually having this conversation.

"Bella, Wolverine is just some tiny guy with knives in his hands? How could he possibly defend himself against 30 foot tall, shape shifting robots…_from space_?" I rationalized trying to get Bella to see my point of view. We'd spent the last hour finishing up Bella's hair and make-up -which was probably the easiest because there was very little I needed to do to Bella's face to make it look perfect- and now found ourselves talking about random topics while I painted her nails on her bed.

Surprisingly things hadn't been as awkward as I'd anticipated. I mean sure there were a few instances when I'd notice Bella staring at me only for her to turn away when our eyes met, or when innocent touches would linger a bit too long and we'd both jerk away nervously, but mostly we were just having a good time. For once it was like it used to be between us and we both felt completely comfortable just being in each others company.

"Well, yeah he's small in comparison but he also has regenerative healing, and an adamantium skeleton. His size would work to his advantage, they'd never be able to catch him easily and he could use that time to rip their computers to pieces." I stopped in my ministrations with her nails long enough to give her a questioning glance.

"Since when do you know so much about comic books?" I asked, impressed by Bella's sudden Marvel expertise.

"I thought everyone knew these things." She answered blankly, tilting her head to the side.

"Yeah, we usually call those people Emmett Cullen." I joked as images of Emmett's extensive comic book collection popped into my head. "Wait until I tell him about this, he'll probably explode from excitement."

"Please don't Ali!" Bella pleaded, looking genuinely concerned about how Emmett would react.

"I bet you guys could go to one of those conventions and even wear costumes!" I teased, knowing it was something Bella would never willingly do. It was hard enough getting her to dress up for her birthday.

"Emmett could be Wolverine and you could be…" I tapped my chin trying to remember the girls name with the white streak in her hair. "Rogue!" I bit my lip to keep from laughing when Bella hung her head covering her face to hide the blush that I smelled creeping up.

I knew teasing Bella was a dangerous game that I'd played enough times to know only led to compromised positions but part of me (the impulsive, overly curious, idiotic part of me) didn't want to stop.

"You're mean, you know that?" She pouted, sticking her tongue out at me like a bratty toddler.

"Aww, I'm sorry." I cooed earning me another narrowed glare. "What can I do to make it better?" I pushed a strand of Bella's hair back from her eyes so that I could see her face. She stiffened as my fingers hesitated on her cheek, involuntarily drawn to the warmth of her skin. Her teeth chewed on her lip with nervous uncertainty before her hand reached to grasp mine as I tried to pull away.

My smile faded, as all playfulness instantly disappeared from the room replaced with a nagging sexual tension that seemed intent on ruining the mood. She intertwined our fingers and rested our joined hands on her knee.

"Can I ask you something?" She said cautiously.

"You just did." I whispered, a feeble attempt at humor that did nothing to distract me from how softly her fingers weaved between my own and how incredibly beautiful she looked when she was nervous.

"Do you think about me when you're with Jasper?" Her question surprised me and I frowned automatically at the mention of Jasper's name. "Because…" she said hurriedly after seeing my reaction. "I think about you when I'm with Edward and I'm pretty sure most girls don't do this much thinking about other girls when they're kissing their boyfriends."

She held my gaze waiting for me to respond and when I didn't her eyes dropped down to the space between us as she released my hand disappointedly.

"What do you want me to say Bella? If I say yes does that make it any easier?" My voice was an annoyed whine that had more to do with the loss of her hand on mine than with her question.

"No, but we don't have to make it harder by acting like it never happened." Her voice raised and her eyebrows knitted in defiance. "I know we've talked about this, I just keep hoping you'll change your mind." The last part came out as a whisper as if she didn't want to admit it at all. Her eyes stared desperately into my own and as much as I wanted to look away, I couldn't.

"Just let me do this Alice." Her hand moved softly down my neck, her eyes begging for the permission to continue. She accepted my silence as an invitation leaning in closer, but just when I thought our lips would connect I felt a familiar feeling seize upon me and my body froze in anticipation of a vision.

"Wait." I pushed her away from me. Her lips pursed in annoyance but the knock on the door quickly answered her unasked question. Charlie poked his head in hesitantly as if he was expecting to see a lion tamer, or something equally outrageous, in the middle of Bella's bedroom. Even in the midst of all this I still found Charlie's awkwardness humorous and I smiled at his sudden appearance.

"Hey girls." His eyes scanned over the two of us before landing squarely on Bella. "Bella, I just wanted to let you know I'm heading out. Don't forget to call your mom and let her know you got her gift, otherwise I'm sure she'll think I put my name on it." He chuckled to himself and Bella nodded. "Have a good time at the Cullen's." Charlie said giving me a quick glance.

The room was quiet after he left as neither one of us knew what to do or say.

So much for being less awkward.

I turned back to Bella after several agonizing moments, the words spilling from my lips before I could do anything to stop them.

"I do think about you." She looked taken aback by my admission but remained quiet for me to continue and I took an unnecessary breath to still myself before speaking again. "Vampires have a lot of free time to think since we don't need sleep, and for a long time you've been the only person that's on my mind._ Especially_ when I'm with Jasper." Bella smiled brightly at me.

"I don't want to mess us up Bella. I just wanted to keep everyone happy, but so far all I've done is make things worse. I can't do this…" I motioned between us "whatever we're doing without consequences, but I can't deny what I feel either. I don't know what to do anymore. Lately all of the right things seem wrong and all of the wrongs things feel so good." Bella took my hand in hers squeezing supportively and the feeling of her touch calmed me instantly.

"For once I don't know what's going to happen next and it scares me." I hated how weak my voice sounded. I felt silly for needing her reassurance, but this whole thing had me feeling so insecure about my relationship with Bella. What I felt for her was so strong and I didn't know if she could return those feelings with Edward still in the picture and Jasper in the margins. She loved Edward -of that I was sure, anyone could see that- but the thing that worried me was if she loved him more than me.

Vampires are very territorial (often selfish) creatures. When we are mated to someone that person becomes sacred to us, and it is nearly impossible to tolerate your mate being with another person. Rosalie and Emmett are a special case, their relationship is built on a carefully balanced system of give and take. It doesn't bother Emmett when Rose is with other women because he is secure in their love for each other. It's different for me. I couldn't stand to compete like Jacob and Edward have for Bella. I couldn't risk tearing apart my marriage (no matter how damaged) and my family only to have Bella choose Edward in the end. I needed to know that she was willing to make the same sacrifices I was to be with her. And if she wasn't then all this was for nothing.

This was her decision to make but I wasn't going to force her hand, she needed to realize it on her own.

"Alice I know you're scared, so am I, but I don't want to let my fear keep me from exploring something I know we both want. You can keep trying to push me away but I'm not going anywhere." She leaned in swiftly pressing her lips to mine and as much as I knew I should push her away, I couldn't because I understood that she needed this. She needed to make me understand that she meant what she was saying. It was an unspoken promise to support each other, that I wasn't sure either one of us could keep.

"I'm here." Bella spoke softly against my mouth, locking her words with another kiss that left me feeling dizzy yet grounded at the same time. I stroked her cheek amazed that I could finally be this close to her again. Yet there was still a distressing concern that I couldn't shake no matter how hard I tried so I moved away gently, giving her a reassuring smile to let her know I wasn't upset.

"We have more to talk about, but not now." I kissed her quickly on the nose and hopped off the bed.

"We've got to get going, or you going to be late for your own party." I buried my concerns and flashed her a sly grin as I handed her her dress. Her jaw dropped in disbelief, "Are you seriously making me wait until after the party to talk?" She asked bewildered.

I gave a look that said 'do you even have to ask' and she huffed removing the dress from the hanger.

"I'll wait downstairs while you get dressed."

I left the room quickly, pulling the door shut with a gentle click. All I heard was Bella's muffled complaints as I descended the stairs and walked out the door onto the front lawn. I took a couple deep breaths of fresh Bella-free air to clear my head. There was no way I could go back home with a head full of Bella and clothes covered in her scent without drawing unwanted attention to myself.

This was the third time I'd kissed Bella and I still had absolutely no idea where we stood. Does this mean we're _together_? Did she think we could continue sneaking around behind everyone's back? Maybe she wanted us both - Edward and I? How weird would that be. I shuddered at the thought. Did this make me a cheater? That was a question I could answer easily. Of course it made me a cheater. I felt a deep guilt settle in the pit of my stomach.

We definitely had to talk about this tonight. I had so many questions and too few answers.

The front door opened up and Bella stepped out, I guess I must've been thinking longer than I'd thought.

"You look beautiful." I said still facing the opposite direction and she laughed.

"You didn't even turn around." She walked up behind me resting a hand on my shoulder and spinning me around.

"Doesn't mean I didn't see you." I tapped my head pointedly and she gave my shoulder a playful shove, starting towards my car.

The ride to my house was quiet, it didn't take us long to get there at the speed I drove and I used what little time I had to usher any telling thoughts of Bella and I out of my mind. I could hear the sounds of music and chattering people blocks before my house came into view and the cars lined along the roadside were a sure indication that most of the guests had already arrived.

"Jesus Alice, did you invite the whole school?" Bella's eyes widened as we began up the driveway. Through the front windows it was obvious that there were at least a hundred people here. I choose not to answer her question given that the thought had crossed my mind once or twice while planning, but luckily I was talked down by Rose before any decisions were made.

Edward met us at the end of the driveway as soon as we pulled in, a modest smile fixed happily on his face. Bella turned to me -her fingers grazing my hand on the gear shift supportively- before she stepped out of the car and into Edward's arms. He enveloped her tightly, his lips finding hers quickly and I headed into the house to strip myself of Bella's scent. I greeted several familiar faces as I maneuvered gracefully through the mass of our teenage schoolmates to get upstairs to my room, pushing the door open only to realize there was someone already here.

Jasper smiled as I walked in. He was dressed nicely in his black slacks and grey Banana Republic sweater and looked very handsome. "Always right on time." He said warmly. He stood from the bed moving in to kiss me, his lips touching mine momentarily before he pulled back abruptly. I watched his eyes darken and his jaw tense as his eyes bored into mine as if searching for something only he could see. I tried not to let my panic seep through. Could he taste her on me? No that's insane. Of course he couldn't, I mean we spent the afternoon together it's reasonable for her smell to be on me. Right?

"What's wrong Jas?" I tried my best not to let my voice shake and it came out surprisingly convincing, and I had to swallow the pang of guilt I felt at not only being a liar but a _good liar_. He watched me for a moment longer his face softening slightly before speaking.

"Nothing. I just… I may have to hunt soon. All these humans, you know. I'm feeling a bit strained." I nodded understandingly, tracing my fingers along the sharp edge of his jaw.

"Don't worry. You'll be fine Jasper. We'd never let you hurt anyone, you know that." He smiled but it seemed a bit forced and I ignored that thought as I moved past him to change my clothes. I finished hastily, grabbing Jasper's hand and leading him out the room with me to the party. I spotted Bella and Edward near the front entrance talking excitedly with Mike, Angela, Eric and Jessica. Bella's eyes darted up to the staircase as Jasper and I entered the living room, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth before she waved at the two of us. I waved back but Jasper stood rigidly at my side his eyes shut tightly and it seemed obvious that he was struggling under the stress of so many people. I tugged him through the crowd out to the back porch. He took several deep breaths to compose himself before opening his eyes, which had lightened to a deep golden but were obviously too dark to be safe.

"Go hunt Jas." I said sternly, rubbing my hands along the side of his face to calm him down. "Leave some clothes behind the garage in case you make a mess." He nodded obediently and walked off the porch towards the woods.

"Is he going to be okay?" I recognized the voice and the scent of the person speaking before I saw him, my body tensing instinctively before I subdued my more feral side in favor of civility. I turned around to find Jacob staring off at the direction Jasper had gone.

"Yeah, he just needed some air." Jacob looked suspicious still eyeing the woods for any signs of danger for the humans.

"We don't need security at this party Jacob." My tone was light and Jacob grinned, his eyes finally resting on me.

"I sure hope not. I'm not interested in wolfing out in front of anyone tonight." He gave me a sly smile that was somehow playful and cautionary at the same time, and I nodded understanding his silent warning.

"I gotta say I'm surprised I was invited. I know there's at least two Cullen's that would rather see me tossed off a cliff than here tonight." He stuffed his hands in his pockets leaning against the porch railing.

"Regardless of how some of my siblings may feel I was in charge of invitations and I know you're a good friend of Bella's, so I saw no reason why you shouldn't be here…besides the obvious olfactory reason of course." I held my nose distastefully, a small smile gracing my lips when Jacob rolled his eyes dramatically.

"You know you guys don't exactly smell like roses to me either."

"Really? I think I smell lovely." I said seriously, subtly sniffing myself to see if I could pick up on what Jake was talking about. He laughed obviously humored by what I was doing and I stopped immediately giving him a hard look, which only made him laugh harder. I knew we were meant to be enemies but I'd always kind of liked Jacob. Sure he smelled like wet dog, was completely immature and ate like a baby elephant- but he was also a sweet guy who would do anything to protect Bella and I respected that about him.

"Have you been here for long?" I asked, throwing a glance over my shoulder to keep an eye out for Jasper, before turning back to Jake.

"Shouldn't you know that already? I mean you are the psychic of the Cullen clan, right?" His eyebrows lowered skeptically.

"I don't always see everything, it's very selective at times. Plus you being here throws my visions off a bit." Jake nodded. I wasn't sure why the wolf pack's presence affected my powers and not Edward's or Jasper's, or why Jasper and my powers worked on Bella when Edward's didn't. It was all really strange and I reminded myself to ask Carlisle more about it soon.

As we waited on the porch a sudden surge of cheering pulled our attention back into the house. The unmistakable sound of Emmett's voice boomed throughout the house as music bursted through the sound systems, and whistles rung out from guests. Jacob and I flinched simultaneously at the volume of the noise and he threw me a knowing glance.

"Regretting having super hearing yet?" He shouted over the commotion and I smiled shaking my head. We walked into the house making our way closer and closer to the origin of the singing, surprised to find Emmett at the center of a crowded living room with the karaoke machine. Bella stood shyly at his side as he serenaded her with his own rendition of Stevie Wonder's Happy Birthday in front of everyone. He actually sounded really good, no doubt one of the effects of being a vampire, and I laughed to myself at the - of the situation.

Rosalie appeared at my side leaning into my ear, "I tried to stop him Alice." She sighed defeatedly though there was a mild affection to her tone as she stared at her husband who was now dancing a circle around Bella. "I think she's actually having a good time though." I followed Rosalie's gaze to Bella who, though blushing like mad, was smiling and seemed to be enjoying herself.

"Yeah me too." I said more to myself than to Rose.

The song ended and everyone clapped as Emmett took a theatrical bow and Bella curtsied awkwardly. The music progressed to the next song and everyone flooded the living room to dance as Bella made her way towards us.

"Wow, I never thought I'd see you blush that deeply." I settled my hands on her face, hoping to cool the heat of her cheeks, and she placed her hands on top of mine stroking them lightly. I didn't realize how intimate the gesture must've appeared until I noticed Jake shuffle uncomfortably beside me and Rosalie clear her throat. Bella must have realized about the same time I did because she casually moved my hands away.

"Jake I'm really glad you came!" She embraced him in a tight hug.

"Anything for you Bella." Jake said happily.

Bella's eyes moved to Rosalie who still had her characteristic scowl in place as she mumbled a unenthusiastic 'Happy Birthday', which Bella seemed unphased by as she gave an appreciative 'thank you'. It was a well known secret in the house that Rosalie cared for Bella a lot more than she was willing to let on. So, not many people took her seriously in her behavior anymore, not even Bella.

"Would you three lovely ladies like to join me out on the dance floor?" Jacob asked warranting a scoff and an eye roll from Rosalie and an uneasy expression from Bella. He was definitely barking up the wrong tree (no pun intended) if he thought those two would agree to dance with him...or anyone else for that matter.

"Come on wolf boy I'll dance with you." I said pulling Jake into the crowd of dancing people. Jake look stunned that his offer was actually accepted by someone and I heard Rosalie mutter something about me "dancing with the dog" and I threw her a withering glare, which she ignored laughing. Why did everyone seem to think it was funny when I glared at them?

Three hours -several karaoke battles, one limbo competition, and plenty of dancing later- the party was finally coming to a close. Surprisingly Jacob had actually been a decent dance partner, and even managed to coerce Bella into a few songs. It was definitely not something I'd ever imagined happening. The three of us dancing together carelessly with no concern for the love triangle that had us all thoroughly entwined.

It was nice.

Jasper had returned sometime after Jacob and I had our first dance looking significantly more controlled than earlier, though he opted to stay away from most of the guests and, after giving the customary birthday wishes, avoided Bella as well. I didn't understand why he was behaving so oddly, and I made an extra effort to stay close to him throughout the night.

As Emmett announced the last song of the night I made my way over to Bella who was sitting on the piano bench, nestled into Edward's side. "It's the last song. Dance with me Bella!" I exclaimed offering her my hand but she hesitated her eyes flicking to Edward. I cast him a glance. _'Do you mind?' _I questioned mentally. I knew he'd already asked Bella himself and she'd declined, but I thought I'd press my luck anyways. After all I could be very persuasive and I had a feeling she'd say yes. Edward smiled softly nodding his consent and I was relieved he didn't seem offended. I gave Bella my best pleading expression even pouting my lip, and though I felt incredibly childish I knew that look always seemed to work with Bella. She grinned taking my hand in hers and allowing me to lead her into the crowd of dancing bodies.

As if on some comically timed queue, the music slowly faded into a slower lightly melodic song as we found a spot in the center. Bella seemed nervous but I was unphased as I wrapped my arms around her neck, drawing her closer to me. As far as anyone else knew we were just two friends having a good time, it only meant something more to the two of us. Bella timidly placed her hands on my waist, the temperature of her palms sinking through my skirt and filling me with calm. My eyes explored the swirls of brown in her gaze as our bodies softly swayed to the music, which seemed to be slowly fading as all my focus narrowed on Bella. I idly grazed my fingers down the edge of her neck, giggling when Bella shivered at the chill of the contact.

"Tonight…you'll come over right?" She whispered hopefully, and I could tell she was anxious for when we could be alone again. I nodded remembering the promise I'd made earlier to talk. She tightened her grip on my waist pulling me just a little closer before leaning down to rest her head against my shoulder.

I was so lost in Bella's presence that I barely heard it until it happened for the second time. It was a sharp, aggressive sound like cracking wood and it echoed in my ears cutting through noise of the crowd and the music. I stiffened, but looking around it was clear that no one else had heard it. I looked to the spot we'd left Edward in, to see if he heard it also, only to find his seat empty and him no where to be seen.

"Alice, what's wrong?" Bella said noticing my panicked behavior. Her question was punctuated by another loud cracking noise which was swiftly followed by what sounded like thunder and indistinct screams.

I knew that sound.

Without another word I navigated Bella and I through the crowd and to the steps. "Can you wait for me in my room? I'll be right back." She looked on the verge of protesting, but I gave her a stern glare (relieved that this time there was no laughter) as I said, "Go." She looked worried. "Please." I added a second later and she nodded reluctantly.

As Bella ascended the stairs I rushed to the back porch towards where the sounds were coming from. As I walked out I was met with a frowning Jacob who looked concerned, angry, and stunned all in one crowded expression.

"Edward?" I asked and Jacob nodded.

"And your guy…Jasper." He said the name like he wasn't sure if that was the right name at all, which didn't surprise me considering they'd never really conversed.

"Stay here Jacob. I'll take care of it. Remember no wolfing out, okay?" I tried to smile but it only came out as a sad sort of half-grin that didn't match the rest of my expression.

"You've got two minutes." I could tell from his tone that he was hoping I'd diffuse whatever was going on before he had to step in. Neither one of us wanted any trouble.

There were no humans around so I took off full speed into the forest, following the sounds in the distance. After about two miles I saw them. Several trees had been upturned in their fight and the area looked like a bulldozer had just plowed threw it. Edward's shirt had been torn completely down the middle and his hair was in total disarray, with dirt and leaves littering the bronze strands. Jasper had two spider webbing cracks on his face and I figured that must've been the sound I heard; the sound of Edward's fists hitting Jasper's face. I flinched at the thought.

Carlisle and Emmett were holding Jasper back as he struggled viciously to break free. His face was contorted with a surprising anger and his eyes were dark as night despite the fact that he'd just hunted only several hours ago. All traces of the calm, compassionate Jasper I knew had been replaced with a ferocity and wildness that startled me. It was only then that I noticed no one was holding Edward back. Rosalie and Esme stood alert at his side and though Esme's hand was rested on his shoulder, it wasn't in a restraining manner, it was a calming gesture.

"Control yourself son! We are not animals, we can handle our problems like civilized individuals." Carlisle spoke firmly into Jasper's ear his tone coated in parental authority. Jasper seemed to head his words after several moments, abandoning his futile struggle against Carlisle and Emmett's hold on him. It took another 5 minutes before he regained composure enough for them to ease up their grip, though not fully letting go. Jasper's expression, however mirrored his unfading anger. He stared with narrowed gaze at Edward, no doubt sending all sorts of thoughts his way.

"You have no idea what you're talking about! This has nothing to do with her!" Edward erupted angrily, challenging whatever thoughts Jasper was projecting towards him. Jasper snarled, clearly continuing their silent conversation, and Edward's eyes darted to me.

"She wouldn't-" Edward paused mid sentence and turned away his jaw clenching. He'd made the decision to speak before he stopped so I already understood what he was about to say.

'_**She wouldn't do that to me.' **_

I knew there were only two people he could be referring to, and neither one meant good things. I felt my stomach clench in painfully and my body go numb with dread. I stood mute watching them, unable to force any words past my lips that would make sense or abolish Edward's hurt or Jasper's anger.

"I will not have my children fighting each other. Especially not at a time like this, when so many people could be harmed or witness your behavior! What is this about?" Carlisle asked, his eyes locked on Edward then Jasper.

It was silent for several seconds before anyone spoke. "Nothing. I apologize for making a scene and for the carelessness of my actions." Edward spoke calmly still looking off into the forest. "I was worried for the safety of the humans and…Bella." At Bella's name Edward looked up glaring at Jasper, and if looks could kill Jasper would've been nothing but a pile of ash by now. Edward's sudden coldness scared me, but no sooner did that thought cross my mind Edward was looking at me once more, his face softening reassuringly. "Jasper's thoughts concerned me, he wasn't in control of himself and was on the verge of attacking one of the humans." Esme gasped, her expression a mix of disappointment and empathy, Jasper hung his head shamefully finally showing an emotion other than blind rage.

"I took him through the back exit and brought him here, but as you can see he didn't react well to my intervention." Edward said eyeing Jasper suspiciously while Esme rushed to Jasper's side embracing him supportively.

"It's okay Jasper. You didn't hurt anyone." Jasper returned the hug, relaxing under Esme's comforting embrace.

"You need to hunt. We're all very lucky Edward was there to intervene. Thank you Edward." Carlisle said looking back to Edward. "We'll talk more about this later after everyone has had time to calm down. Esme and I will take Jasper to hunt. Alice, Rose, Emmett please be sure everyone at the party leaves safely." The three of us nodded dutifully as Carlisle and Esme led Jasper deeper into the forest.

"Well, that was fun." Emmett mumbled sarcastically after they had walked out of view.

"Shut up Emmett." The three of us scolded in unison and Emmett just shrugged. Everyone started back towards the house, but as Edward passed me I grabbed his arm halting him.

"You lied." I knew Jasper had hunted earlier, I was there, there was no reason why he would've lost control and attacked one of the humans. I knew he wasn't being honest. Whatever it was he didn't want the family to know. He was covering for Jasper, but why?

"There's no need to worry the family with Jasper's confused thoughts and actions. He's clearly not himself today." He shook his head as if he was attempting to forget whatever he saw in Jasper mind. "Please just make sure Bella gets home safe, okay? Tell her I'm sorry I couldn't drive her back. I need some time to myself for a while." I didn't know what to say so I just nodded, but before he could walk away I wrapped my arms around his waist pulling him into a hug. I wasn't sure why I felt like I needed to do it, or why when he returned it I was relieved, all I was sure of was that after tonight things were going to change. There was a thickness that clouded the air and it had attached itself to all of us, polluting the lives we'd become accustomed to, polluting the love we'd given and received, and I couldn't stop the feeling that I was the contaminant that would ruin us all.

**So that's the sixth chapter. Hope it's all still flowing well. I'm definitely trying hard to keep it all on track. Let me know if you have any suggestions for improvement. Or something you want to see happen that fits with the plot so far. This chapter actually ran kinda long so I split it up into two parts. I'll post the other part soon, it's already written. Just needs to be edited for spelling/grammar/etc.**


	7. Chapter 7: The Party, Part 2

**A/N: Hey folks. I feel like a boss putting this chapter out so close to the last update. I didn't want to lose track and wind up waiting another month like before, so I tried to work faster for this one. Thanks to all the wonderful reviews I got on the last chapter! You guys really inspire me to be on my game. :) And thank you to anyone that is still/or has started reading this. Here's a *virtual high-five* from me to all you lovely people!**

**Btw, this chapter is a bit 'M' in some parts. I don't really have a good idea of what is 'M' and what is 'T' because tbh I don't make too much of a distinction b/w the two. So, just to be safe I'm changing the rating to "M."**

**Steph M. owns everything Twilight. Bien sur.**

**The Party (part 2)**

By the time Rose, Emmett and I got back to the house it was empty except for Bella who I could hear pacing upstairs and Jacob who was waiting anxiously on the couch. He stood as we approached.

"Everyone's gone?" Emmett said not really asking at all.

"I thought it was best to clear the place out in case the situation escalated any further." Jacob seemed relieved knowing that everything was safe.

"I guess you're not completely useless after all." Rosalie murmured with only slight loathing in her tone; it was about as close to a compliment that she would get and Jacob smirked as he made his way towards the front door. He tossed me a smile over his shoulder before shouting, "Nice party." I shook my head, not sure if he was being sarcastic or sincere, and I waved him out.

I made my way up to my room to find a very disconcerted Bella. She was wringing her hands anxiously and biting her lip so hard I was sure she would draw blood. Before she could speak I answered her question,

"I'm fine. Edward's fine. We're all…fine." Bella exhaled in relief, her shoulders slumping as she calmed down.

"Alice what happened?"

"I'll tell you everything. Let's just…let's not talk here." I tapped my ear indicating that we were not in the ideal place to have a private conversation. "Come on I'll drive you home."

"But Edward-"

"Wants me to drive you home. He just needs some time to get himself together." Bella followed me out to my car wordlessly, slouching into the passenger seat, and I pulled out heading towards her house.

The drive was longer than usual since I decided to actually drive at the recommended speed limit. I used the time to fill Bella in on the fight between Edward and Jasper in the woods.

"Do you think he knows?" She asked gravely regarding my expression closely.

"I don't know that for sure. Edward's clearly in denial about whatever happened and Jasper's just upset. They're being very impulsive right now, so I can't get a reliable prediction to what will happen next. From the way the rest of my family reacted I'm guessing they're as confused as I am." I didn't bother informing her that Edward had lied about the real reason for their fight. I figured there was no sense in needlessly worrying her over something that might not even be an issue. Especially not while I was still in the dark about the truth.

Bella was silent after I finished and remained quiet for the rest of the ride. I didn't bother prodding her to speak because I knew whatever thoughts were keeping her occupied were likely important ones. As much as I'd tried to cushion the news with vagueness we both suspected that our secret wasn't a secret any longer. Edward and Jasper got along great. The only attacking they ever instigated with one another was with chess pieces and fencing assaults. In all the years we'd been together they'd never laid a harmful hand on each other.

I pulled into her driveway and shut off the engine. I wasn't sure if she wanted me to come in so I waited to see what she would do. She didn't move to leave the car and just sat staring out the front window for the next ten minutes. Just when I was beginning to think she wasn't going to talk -or even worse, had fallen asleep- she spoke, her voice was low and heavy.

"I wanted to tell him. I didn't want him to find out like this. He's going to hate me." She lowered her head to her hands dejectedly and I rested my hand on her back rubbing it supportively.

"Edward could never hate you Bella, no matter what you did. He's likely blaming himself, trying to figure out what_ he_ did wrong." My words did nothing to comfort her and seemed to only drive her emotions over the edge as she started crying.

"Bella don't cry. I didn't mean it that way." I lifted her chin up to meet my eyes and wiped several stray tears from her face. "I know it's not how you wanted things to turn out but it's going to be okay. We can handle it." She pulled me towards her throwing her arms around my neck. Her face buried into my shoulder and I patted her back calming her as her small frame shook with sobs and sniffles. "Don't worry." I smoothed down her hair holding her close to me.

After a couple minutes I could feel her breathing evening out against my chest and her crying subside. She released her hold on me pulling back to stare at me, her eyes were still puffy and red from tears, yet I couldn't help thinking that she was the most beautiful person I'd ever seen. I wondered if she even realized how lovely she really was?

As I dwelled on that point she startled me as she leaned in pressing her lips to mine. My lips parted automatically accepting hers between my own and her hand roamed down my neck, coming to rest at my waist. The kiss was gentle and explorative, as if we'd never done this before. Then again maybe we hadn't, at least not like this. When we were both vulnerable, and scared, and so unsure. It was more like our first kiss that night on the couch. Less desperate, less conscious of what we were doing and more conscious of what we were feeling. The kind of kiss that you take the time to enjoy, as if each brush of skin was being copied to memory to experience all over again.

When we finally parted her eyelids fluttered open slowly as she watched me with lidded gaze, breathing just a bit heavier. I inhaled the coolness of her breath, relishing in this moment which I knew was fleeting. "Stay?" she asked, her lips brushing against mine as she spoke. I delivered my acceptance of her offer in another kiss, pushing her back into the passenger seat as I straddled her waist. I felt my breath hitch in my throat when her hand glided under the edge of my shirt, dancing along the top of my skirt. Her tongue slipped into my mouth when I gasped, massaging hungrily with mine. The taste of her in my mouth was sensational, and I couldn't resist deepening the kiss as my lips moved with gentle urgency against hers. My actions must have given her the courage to continue because before I knew it her hands had traveled from my waist to clutching at my thighs under my skirt.

Suddenly it seemed as if she was wearing way too many clothes. I wanted to see her.

"Take this off." I tugged at the collar of her jacket and she just lifted her arms compliantly. Just then I thought about what I was doing and how it seemed and I stopped for a moment. "You know, you don't have to do everything I tell you." My face was only inches from hers and I could see the confusion flash in her eyes.

"So...you don't want me to take it off." She rose an eyebrow at me.

"No-Yes...I mean," I faltered. "I just don't want to push you into anything. You shouldn't always agree so easily with me. I'm not always in my right mind, and I want you to know it's okay to say no if you want." She smiled once she finally understood what I was trying to say.

"Trust me, I don't want to say no." Her voice had a seductive lilt that I'd never heard her use before and honestly didn't think was capable of coming from Bella. She pulled the jacket off and tossed it into the back seat. "It's still my birthday. So you have to do what I say right?" She began unbuttoning my jacket, sliding her hands down my arms as she pulled it off, making me shiver with anticipation.

"That's right." I choked out distractedly. She threw my jacket on top of hers in the back seat.

"I'm going to kiss you now." She breathed lowly, her lips hovering above mine teasingly. I licked my lips nervously and ended up grazing Bella's lips with my tongue, making her smile. "Don't pull away...you always pull away. That's what I want for my birthday." That was certainly a request I could agree with and I nodded eager for her to just do it already. I felt like a puppy and Bella was the human hovering a treat above my head, just out of reach.

She threaded her fingers in my hair pulling me into her. Our lips crashed together like waves into a cliff-side, adjusting to fit the others perfectly. The gentleness from earlier had been traded for a passionate urgency that, I for one, didn't mind. Bella's lips and tongue were all over me now, sucking on my neck and forcing me to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from moaning out like a hormonal teenager. Bella trailed one languid swipe of her tongue up to my earlobe, and I couldn't stop the cry that escaped my throat. She smiled against my neck as her hands busied themselves massaging my breasts through my dress. I found the zipper in the back of her dress and slid it down, pulling the straps forward to take it off. Bella helped me by slipping both arms out and shimmying it down to gather her waist.

I stared in awe as Bella sat under me in almost nothing but her bra and panties. I mean, it wasn't as if I'd never seen Bella undressed before, with the amount of sleepovers we'd had, it happened quite often actually. It's just that I never got to _appreciate_ Bella's nearly naked form the way I wanted, until tonight. I ran my fingers along her shoulders and then south, past her collarbone and then to the dip between breasts. "You're beautiful." I said before attaching her mouth to mine once more. This time it was Bella's turn to groan, as she gripped my neck continuing to deepen the kiss. My mouth moved downwards until I reached the top of the swell of her breasts. I placed impatient kisses along the top of her bra before pulling it down and taking both her breasts in my hands. Bella threw her head against the seat rest, groaning with approval. Her legs fidgeted and I could tell that she was already wet. I could smell her arousal and it was turning me on more and more with every passing second.

"Alice..." My name escaped her lips like a prayer, and I thought 'This is the greatest my name has ever sounded on anyone's lips.' I could live the rest of eternity and no sound could ever be as sweet. I felt my hips jerk against her as my body reacted to her verbal cues. She moved my face back up to hers, begining another exploration with her tongue in my mouth.

Without warning a pounding knock came to the passenger window, making Bella jump with surprise as she turned to face the glass.

"Shit, Alice my dad's home." She tried to push me off of her but I wouldn't budge. "Alice what-"

"You told me not to pull away." I said smiling against her skin as my hand moved up her thigh and my mouth began sucking on the hardened peak of her nipple. Bella drew in a sharp breath at the action, her hips rocking into mine automatically before she shakily lowered herself back into the seat.

"Alice...fuck, don't.." She whined incoherently, though making no more movements to try and push me off. "He'll see us." She muttered, rubbing her hands along my sides and sounding more uncaring with every circle of my tongue.

"My windows are tinted. _I_ can barely see in from the outside." Bella seemed to consider that for a moment, until another knock pounded on the glass. This time with more impatience. Reluctantly Bella pushed my shoulders back, a regretful expression on her face, and I huffed rolling back into the driver's seat.

Dammit Charlie. As much as I liked him, the man sure had a knack for the whole wrong place and time sort of thing.

Bella made quick work of redressing herself and fixing her hair and I smiled at how frantic she was being. I couldn't tell you how many times Carlisle had walked in on one of us "in the middle of something." She rolled down the window and Charlie crouched to look inside. His face was stern but once he saw me it lightened up completely.

"Oh, Alice. I didn't expect...um...I thought you were your, uh, brother." He stammered out embarrassed, his face flushing a deep red. I knew exactly what he _thought_ was going on in this car between Edward and Bella.

"Nope, just me. Sorry, we didn't open up sooner. Bella and I were just having some girl talk." I knew 'girl talk' was a sure fire way to get any guy disinterested quick and Charlie was no exception.

"O-oh, okay. Don't let me stop you two. I'll see you in the morning Bells." He walked away briskly into the house and Bella let out a deep exhale I didn't know she'd been holding.

"Girl talk?" Bella asked in disbelief.

"It worked, didn't it?" I smiled cheekily and Bella just chuckled. She reached in the backseat and grabbed her jacket before opening the door, but I grabbed her wrist before she could leave.

"What?"

"Well you heard your dad. He said 'don't let me stop you two'. I think it would be quite disrespectful of us not to listen to him." She held my gaze for a while trying to determine if I was serious or not, and when I smiled she just rolled her eyes.

"I thought you were serious."

"And if I were, would you have stayed?" I asked grabbing my jacket from the back and slipping out the driver's side door.

"Maybe." Her eyes danced with a playful mirth that I couldn't help but find sexy.

"Well then next time I should be a bit more convincing." I said as we both began up the walkway into the house.

When we made it up to her room she didn't even bother getting undressed as she slipped her shoes off and climbed into bed. She watched me expectantly as I stood in the doorway, motioning to the empty space next to her. I moved to the bed -kicking off my heels and tossing my jacket to the chair by the window- and crawled in beside her so that we were lying face to face. It wasn't nearly as awkward as it should have been. There was no expectation of something more, no obligation to re-instigate what we'd began in the car or do anything but lay together.

We stayed in comfortable silence for a while before Bella said something. "I'm guessing we're not going to have that talk tonight, are we?" Bella's voice was lazy and her eyelids seemed determined to stay shut as she stared tiredly at me. It had been a long night and she looked exhausted.

I shook my head to her question. "We'll discuss it in the morning. Just get some sleep."

"But Alice-" Her sentence was interrupted by a drowsy yawn and I smiled as my point had been proven.

"Sleep." I said definitively, pulling the blanket over both of us. Bella didn't offer any more protests and simply scooted closer nuzzling into me as if I was her own life size teddy bear.

"It really was a nice party Alice." Bella mumbled against my chest, her voice distant and weary. "And I like kissing you." Her voice trailed off at the end before she closed her eyes and drifted to sleep. I grinned into her hair.

At least something had gone right tonight.

As I laid with Bella in my arms I tired to push out all the thoughts threatening to ruin this moment out of my head. An hour after Bella had fallen asleep I started getting visions nearly every ten minutes of Jasper and Edward. Neither one of them could seem to make their minds up so every indecision was bombarding my mind relentlessly. Jasper was still at home, Carlisle was keeping a close eye on him, but Edward appeared to be running all over Forks aimlessly. Which wasn't entirely surprising, considering it's what he usually did when he was stressed, but as I focused I noticed the area he was now in looked very familiar.

He was outside of Bella's house, and I was sure he knew that I was aware of his arrival.

I looked back down at Bella, who was still soundly asleep. The last thing I wanted to do right now was leave her side, but I knew Edward was waiting for me and he had every right to want to speak to me. I lifted Bella's arm from around my waist and lowered it gently to the bed. I rolled off of the mattress gracefully, knowing the movement would be too brief for Bella to detect. As I approached the window I could make out Edwards poised figure standing in the tree line. I gave one final look to Bella before hopping over the ledge and down to the front lawn. I ran the rest of the distance to Edward, coming face to face with him within seconds. I noticed he'd changes his clothes and cleaned his hair, but the anger from earlier was still fixed firmly on his face. Only this time this anger was for me, not Jasper.

I waited for him to speak, already knowing what he was about to say.

"If you already know then why can't you just give me an answer?" Edward asked his voice emotionless.

I hung my head. "Why do you have to make me say it?"

"So it's true?" He stared at me waiting for an answer, but I was sure my beseeching silence was answer enough.

"I never wanted to hurt you." I blurted, my voice breaking on each word despite my best efforts to keep my composure. I reached for him but he stepped away from my hand as if it were covered in sewage and would taint him with one touch. His face twisted into a agonized scowl that hurt me just to witness. He moved away from me unsteadily as if his knees would give at any moment and he'd go crashing into the wet soil. His hand reached for balance on a tree while his eyes remained downcast, looking anywhere but at me.

"I didn't want to believe him. I didn't want to believe any of the things I saw happening right in front of me. Your thoughts were always blocking me and Bella's been distant for a while now, she flinches when I touch her." His head lifted giving me a glance as he said the next part. "You and Jasper don't touch at all and his thoughts are full of…suspicions."

"But I ignored it all because I trusted you. I trusted you above anyone else, even Bella. Because even though Bella may be your best friend, you were _my_ best friend. And I never thought you'd hurt me like this." He faltered, grimacing as if the words were physically hurting him to speak. "You betrayed me Alice." My mouth felt dry and my eyes burned with tears I knew could never fall or alleviate my sorrow. I felt like my mortal life had been renewed only to make me feel the pain of the betrayal I'd caused.

I said nothing.

There was nothing I could say.

After a few moments passed he continued. "Jasper is leaving. He thinks it's best that he spend some time away for a while to work on himself. He wants you to come with him but he'd never force you." Edward's voice was still an emotionless monotone that scared me more than if he would've just yelled. Yell. Hit me. Do anything other than just stand there with that heartbreaking disappointment etched across his face.

"To be honest, I want you to leave also." His eyes locked with mine conveying his seriousness, and it was as if someone had punched me in the chest. The weight of his words collapsed around me and my heart felt as if it would burst from my body and into the dirt where it belonged, because clearly it was useless. It had done nothing to keep me from loving Bella. It had done nothing to help me prevent the trouble I would cause for my family. And it certainly wasn't doing anything to keep me alive. I was dead already and at this moment I actually felt I deserved it.

I watched him pathetically, hoping he would take it all back. Hoping he would smile and say that he understands and he forgives me. Hoping hopelessly for something that wasn't going to happen. He pushed off the tree and started towards Bella's house brushing past me, but stopped a couple paces behind me.

"You should take a shower. Your lipstick's smudged and you reek of infidelity." He spat the words out cruelly, pulling the final block from my teetering grasp on my emotions as I collapsed on the forest floor dry sobbing, listening to Edward walk away from me.

**So leave me a msg, if you want. Or don't if you don't want. I hope to get this updated soon. No promises tho. :/**

**Btw, did anyone see K Stew's promo for Snow White? That's pretty badass.**


	8. Chapter 8: Not So Sweet Talk

**A/N: It's late. I know. I'm blaming it on the alcohol.**

**Stephanie Meyers owns everything Twilight.**

**Not-So Sweet Talk**

**BPOV**

It was the silence that woke me, that feeling you get when everything is so quiet that it seems unnatural, it startles you from your sleep because in the back of your mind you know something is wrong. I rolled onto my side blinking rapidly as my eyes adjusted to the brightness of the morning sun. It was definitely earlier than I usually woke up on Sundays and I shivered as a cool breeze rushed across my skin eliciting a trail of gossebumps along my arms. I pulled my blankets tighter around me, my room was freezing and I soon realized why noticing the window and curtains were wide open. I could've sworn they were closed when I went to bed but I assumed Alice must've opened them during the night. My heart spiked with excitement as I recalled my night with Alice, I couldn't think of anytime that I'd felt as happy as I did last night. Instinctively I turned to my opposite side reaching my arm across the mattress only to feel nothing but empty sheets beside me. I darted up quickly staring at the empty space as my mind registered that I was alone in my bed.

"Alice?" I called groggily figuring that she'd gone downstairs or stepped outside for some fresh air.

"She's not here." The voice startled me and I jumped clutching my chest in alarm, my eyes wandered for the intruder and came to rest on Edward who was standing stiffly in the corner my bedroom. I exhaled a breath of relief at the familiar face before the peculiarity of the situation dawned on me and I wondered why Alice wasn't here and Edward was.

I peeked over the side of the bed, Alice's shoes and jacket were also missing, there was no indication that she'd been here at all and I was starting to feel as if it was all just some wonderful lucid dream I'd conceived. But it couldn't have been a dream, I was still wearing my dress from the party last night and I could practically taste traces of Alice in my mouth…my imagination wasn't creative enough to fabricate the things that happened last night.

The bed dipped in as Edward took a seat at the foot of my mattress. I smiled tightly at him dreading the conversation I knew he was expecting. I was certain he knew something after his fight with Jasper and I mentally steeled myself against what he was going to say. Edward and I had never argued before -not a single mean glance or raised voice had passed between us since we started dating- and it scared me that this conversation could easily lead in that direction. Despite how I felt for Alice I still cared deeply for Edward and his opinion mattered to me, he was a huge part my life and I wanted things to remain pleasant between us.

"How much do you know?" I asked plainly

He abandoned eye contact as he spoke. "I talked to Alice last night…everything that I didn't already gather from Jasper's thoughts were confirmed by Alices' memories."

So, Jasper knew as well.

Great.

My face flushed as I imagined what Alice's mind contained about her and I. Edward had no right to enter her mind without permission, those thoughts were private and I never wanted anyone but Alice to experience them. My embarrassment gradually developed into irritation that I forced myself to swallow as I remembered my own omissions caused this situation.

"What do we do now?" I raked my hands through my hair uneasily wishing that Charlie would burst through my bedroom door any second and delay the discomfort of this talk…at least until I could speak to Alice and find out where we stood. I had no idea what either one of us planned on doing once we were actually "together," or how she would react if Edward and I continued seeing each other. She'd already made it very clear that she wasn't interested in being anyone's second helping of Cullen and I wouldn't want her to suffer like that. I glanced at the door hopefully, of course the one time I actually welcomed Charlie's fatherly interruptions he was nowhere to be seen. Edward's icy hand rested on mine jerking my attention from the door and back into his eyes. He regarded me closely for a long moment before surprising me with a careful smile.

"I could never feel anything but love for you Bella and you're far too important for me to let go. What happened doesn't change how I feel about us or any of the promises I made to love and protect you." The way he said it was so matter of fact it sounded like he'd never even considered another option.

"After everything that's happened how can you be so sure?" I asked guardedly.

I'd never been that confident of anything my entire life -even simple decisions like what candy to choose at theatre concessions were a struggle for me- and it surprised me that he could be so certain. Given the circumstances I wasn't expecting a positive response and I needed assurance that Edward wasn't harboring resentments that would boil over sometime in the future.

"You and I are the one thing I'll always be sure of. I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy with me. I realize that I've been insensitive to human desires…as a vampire I forget what it's like to have mortal urges. Sexual exploration is very common for humans your age and it would be cruel of me to hold a grudge just because you expressed your curiosity on Alice. She's very beautiful and it makes sense that you felt drawn to her." Edward smiled and patted my hand in a way that made me feel as if I'd just been diagnosed. Did he honestly think that about me? Part of me was relieved at his eagerness to forgive but the other was disgusted that he thought my attraction to Alice was a passing teenage phase. It hurt that he didn't even think to ask my opinion before making up his mind. I cared about Alice too much to let him think she was some puppet for sexual curiosity and I valued myself too much to use being human as an easy excuse for cheating on Edward.

I pulled my hand away from his and his smile faded.

"What's wrong?"

"Edward, you have to recognize what actually happened between Alice and I. I knew what I was doing…I wasn't experimenting and I'm not going to blame my humanity for something I made a conscious decision to do. I would never use Alice like that." His brows knitted inwards a blank expression numbing his face, he had no idea what I was trying to tell him.

I took a moment to gather the words I wanted to say in my head, this wasn't going to be easy for him to hear but I knew it needed to be said. Edward may have been in everyone else's mind but he obviously had no clue what I was thinking.

"What happened wasn't your fault…it had nothing to do with you. You didn't drive me to Alice…I've _always_ been attracted to her." I swallowed roughly trying to keep my words flowing before my brain could catch up with my lips and I lost the confidence to continue. Edward just watched me, unmoved and emotionally neutral like a hollowed out marble sculpture. I was afraid if I stopped talking it would shatter the perfectly maintained façade of his impassivity so I kept going, looking up every so often hoping to see a change in his expression.

"I didn't have many close female friends in Phoenix and somehow I convinced myself that all girls had the same kind of…intimate feelings for each other as I did for Alice. Denying it made it easier to accept when I thought it didn't mean anything." It was true. I wasn't what you would call "the social type" and the friends that I did have back in Arizona were mostly boys -whose names I can barely recall now. Coming to Forks was like jumping headfirst in a pool of ice-water, suddenly everyone was interested in me for some reason or another and the attention got overwhelming fast. I remember ducking into the girls restroom my first day of school in a last resort effort to avoid another one of Mike's advances. That was the first time I ever saw Alice. She was staring at her reflection in the restroom mirror but it seemed as if she was looking straight through the glass, her eyes were glazed over (in a way that I now know to be characteristic of one of her visions) and she seemed taken aback by my being there. I remember the way her body tightened when I came up beside her -washing my hands to give myself reason for being in the bathroom- but she didn't say anything. I wanted so badly to talk to her, to say anything that would keep her in my company. I'd never seen anyone so captivating and it wasn't just the fact that she was a vampire and naturally beautiful. It was more than a physical connection…it was ethereal. I caught her eyes in the mirror and she watched me for what seemed like an eternity before smiling. I was so caught off guard I don't think I even returned the gesture. When I finally regained the sense of mind to introduce myself she was already heading out the door.

Two hours later I met Edward for the first time. Needless to say my scent made first impressions of Edward quite sour, but as time passed I developed strong feelings for him. Still, I never forgot that moment with Alice and I never told Edward how I felt…until now that is.

"When we started dating I didn't know what to do with that feeling so…I buried it. I pushed it so deep inside me that for a while I forgot it was even apart of me at all. It was like I'd created the entire memory from dust and one day it simply blew away. It wasn't until a couple months ago when I kissed Alice…"

Edward's eyes landed on me once more making me falter, the slight clench of his jaw didn't go unnoticed but I pushed myself to continue talking.

"…when we kissed I finally understood that the feeling I'd been trying to suffocate was just waiting for a opportunity to breathe again. It didn't feel right to fight it anymore but to lie to everyone, to lie to _you_, felt even worse. I never wanted to do anything that would cause you pain but I have to be honest with myself. To imagine my life without Alice is unbearable and I don't think I can stand it if I had to lose either one of you."

Edward was silent for a long moment, the stillness put me on edge but I did my best not to fidget with nervous energy.

"You didn't have to explain this to me. I didn't _want _to know." Exasperation dripped off his every word making me think he was happier in his denial than he would ever be with the truth. I didn't care if it was difficult for him to accept, a relationship built on lies is like a sandcastle built too close to the shoreline, eventually it drowns.

"You needed to know the truth." I took his hand in mine once more, feeling his muscles relax under my fingertips only to tense again seconds later.

"The _truth_ is that I'm here and Alice isn't. She can't offer you everything that I can, she won't even try." Edward's voice had a desperate sharpness to it that worried me.

"What are you talking about?"

"Bella, where do you think she went? Why do you think I'm here and she's gone?" It wasn't really a question, more like a proclamation, his words were slowly unveiling a reality I hadn't considered.

"She wouldn't." I could feel my heart racing with premature panic at what Edward was implying. Alice wouldn't leave, she just wouldn't do that. "Where is she?" My tone was accusatory and though Edward didn't answer verbally his averted stare was enough for me to assume that he had something to do with her disappearance.

"What did you do?" My voice was strangled and I felt a bit ill as various scenarios of where Alice could be flashed in my mind.

"It's not important." Edward breathed dismissively.

"It's important to me!" I stood from the bed moving quickly towards my dresser where I remembered placing my cell phone. If he wasn't going to tell me where Alice was I was going to find out for myself. My fingers dialed Alice's number with practiced ease and it rang four times before entering voicemail. I tried a second time with no success and a third before flipping the phone shut in frustration.

I could feel my body tremble anxiously, it wasn't like Alice to dodge a call especially _my_ calls. Something was wrong.

I had to find her.

I quickly began changing my clothes, trading my dress for a pair of old jeans from a pile on the floor and a sweatshirt from my drawer, I slipped on my sneakers then headed out the door. I spared a look of silent reproach to Edward who at least had the sense of mind to look guilty.

I could hear my dad in the kitchen as I approached the front entrance.

"Hey Bells. You want something to eat?" He walked out of the kitchen grinning widely holding a smoking skillet of an unidentifiable food that looked like…eggs…sausage? I wasn't sure what it was and I was starting to question if it was even edible at all.

"No thanks. I'm not hungry." I resisted the urge to cringe as I stared back down at it. I could've swore I saw one of the pieces move and I reminded myself to buy Charlie a cookbook for his next birthday before he accidentally poisoned one of us. I swung the front door open impatiently, tossing a quick goodbye to Charlie as I walked out onto the porch steps.

I reached my truck in seconds, plunging the key into the ignition but when I twisted it to start the engine labored erratically before dying with a sputtered halt. I felt the cab tilt to the right as Edward suddenly appeared in the passenger seat.

"Bella, please…don't do this."

"You're not leaving me much of a choice." He really thought what he was doing was best for me but he couldn't have been more wrong. I knew Edward loved me but there was a difference between loving someone and being blinded by your love for someone, it bothered me that I didn't know which category he fit in.

I hopped out of the cab deciding to walk on foot. I made it to the end of the driveway before Edward was in front of me blocking my path.

"Edward. **Stop**." My voice was firm. I was losing my patience, for all I knew something could already have happened to Alice and Edward was just wasting time.

"I'm trying to protect you. Why can't you see that?"

"Protect me from what?"

"From yourself…from _Alice_." His voice was as close to a shout as his personality would allow, which still seemed too calm considering the rising tension of our conversation.

"Edward if you have something to say just say it."

"You don't know her like I do. If you did I know you wouldn't still want to be with her. Trust me, I've been with Alice for a _very _long time and she's not the angel everyone thinks she is. Her past is full of secrets that would break your heart if you heard them. She's my sister so I learned to ignore it because I thought she'd changed but this entire ordeal tells me she is just as callous as she was years ago. I don't want you to get hurt Bella."

I couldn't believe what he was saying.

I'd never heard him speak so aggressively about Alice. He would've gladly walked through fire for her two days ago but today was acting as if they were complete strangers or worse…enemies. It was hard for me to imagine Alice being anything other than the warm-hearted, energetic, pixie I knew. She didn't have a callous bone in her beautiful body.

"How…can you think that?" My words came out slow and emphatic. "You've been in her head you know her motives. Everything she's done has been to keep your family and I happy. I don't care about her past and it's not your place to expose the secrets she keeps." I gritted out my words satisfied by the stunned look on Edward's face, at least it was an emotion that was appropriate for the situation.

"I apologize for being blunt but I wanted you to know my reasoning. I can't let you go after her." He gestured vaguely towards my truck and my eyes narrowed when I realized what he'd done.

"You broke my truck?" The expression on his face told me I was right in my guess. I was fed up with his intervening, I pushed past him taking several steps before he blocked me again. Any patience I'd had with Edward was depleted and my annoyance was growing rapidly.

He opened his mouth to deliver his next pleading line but was interrupted when the front door pulled open.

"What's going on here?" Ah, thank God for Charlie.

Charlie's voice had that serious cop tone that suggested he was about two seconds away from losing his temper. He must have heard us arguing from the kitchen and I half expected him to be wearing his uniform and shining a flashlight in Edward's eyes as he spoke.

"Everything's fine, Edward was just leaving." I turned back to Edward hoping he would get the hint and not cause a scene in front of Charlie. He seemed hesitant to give up but after several seconds he reluctantly turned away from me heading in the opposite direction of his house.

"What was that all about kiddo?" Charlie came up beside me resting a hand on my shoulder.

"He's having…family troubles." It wasn't the whole truth but it would do for now. "I'll be back soon." The Cullen's house was at least a twenty minute walk and I didn't want to waste anymore time standing around.

"Don't stay out too late Bells. It's supposed to storm." I heard Charlie scream out behind me his voice barely audible over the echoing of my thoughts, there was only one thing on my mind…_Alice_.

X/X/X/X/X/X/X

The storm started 15minutes into my walk, soaking my clothes and leaving me cold and shivering. The rain beat down on my back fiercely like pellets of sand and I opted to run the rest of the way. After only several minutes of running I began to feel the effects of my non-existent exercise routine and poor teenage diet, I was definitely laying off the cafeteria food after all this was over. By the time I finally made it to the doorstep of Alice's house I was exhausted and sore and my body felt as if it would collapse on the front porch before anyone even knew I was here. Luckily I was spared that fate as I reached the front steps and the door pulled back.

"What are you doing here?" Rosalie's tone wasn't nearly as scathing as it normally was and if I wasn't mistaken she actually seemed concerned.

"I'm…here…for…Alice." I was shivering and my words came out in a stumbled, breathless mess as I clutched the doorframe trying to catch my breath. I wrapped my arms around my body in an attempt at warming myself but I'm sure the action only made me look even more pathetic than I felt.

"That's what phones are for, you could've saved yourself a lot of trouble if you'd called first." Her tone was sharp but she pulled me inside anyways, taking a coat from the hall closet setting it over my shoulders. I slipped my arms into it, grateful for the gesture yet surprised it was Rosalie who made it. I didn't bother to tell her I did call and that Alice never answered, and frankly the idea of calling Rosalie scared the shit out of me and never even crossed my mind.

"She's not here?" My voice was trembling but the warmth of the house was beginning to take effect and I felt slightly less tremulous.

"She left with Jasper for the airport this morning. I'm not sure when she's coming back."

My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach.

"I…don't…but she…how-" I staggered inarticulately, unable to form coherent sentences for the news I'd just received. Rosalie just stared at me like I was the main attraction in a circus act.

"I was with her last night she wouldn't just run off without saying anything." My voice was resolute. Rosalie looked confused but stepped aside to let me pass waving her arm towards the stairs. I moved passed her, jogging up the stairs to Alice's room to see for myself. The door was cracked so all it took was a subtle push for it to swing open completely revealing…nothing.

The room was empty. No furniture, no clothes in the closets, no pictures on the wall, no _anything_. It looked like the space had been empty for years yet I was just here eight hours ago. This wasn't a dream…it was a nightmare. I felt a deep sadness well up inside me as I stood in the empty room.

She really was gone.

She left me.

I pressed my back into the wall, fearing I'd lose my balance otherwise, as my eyes stung with fresh tears that I didn't bother trying to suppress. My body sank like a stone to the floor as I curled my legs to my chest burying my face in my knees. I didn't want to cry here -the last thing I needed was the added embarrassment of the whole house knowing I was falling apart over this- but I couldn't stop myself. I wasn't sure how long I stayed shrunken against the wall, eventually I'd run out of tears and my head ached but I didn't want to move. I didn't even know if I could. I was prepared to stay here all night if only to immerse myself in Alice's scent that surrounded me. I knew it was pathetic but it was all I had if she wasn't here.

A cool hand rested on my shoulder drawing my attention up to Esme's empathetic eyes. Rosalie stood behind her, arms crossed over her chest, watching me with masked sympathy.

"Come on sweetie, I'll get you something warm to drink." Esme said pulling me up from the floor and supporting my body in her strong embrace.

"Rose, could you please bring Bella some dry clothes?" For once Rosalie didn't respond with a jagged retort and simply nodded heading off towards her room. Had I not been so distracted with the distress of Alices' leaving, I might have commented about her behavior but now all I could do was shuffle silently into the kitchen.

I sat at the kitchen island as Esme prepared some tea. The house had been cleaned of any trash and equipment from the party but decorations still hung all over the home. Seeing them only made me feel worse as I remembered Alice and I forced myself to stare at the marble countertop. None of the others appeared to be home and I was grateful that only two people were around to witness my mini-meltdown. Esme pushed the tea in front of me and I took a careful sip before setting it back down.

"Thank you." My throat was hoarse when I spoke and I took another sip, delighting in the calming heat of the tea.

"It's no problem at all Bella, I would've come up sooner but I wanted to give you a bit of privacy. I'm just sorry you had to find out like this. I thought Alice would've told you. This was a surprise for everyone and it was a very hard decision for Alice to make. She's taking it pretty badly." Esme placed a hand on my shoulder squeezing it understandingly.

"That makes two of us." I muttered morosely, dunking the tea bag in the mug lazily. Rosalie reappeared in the doorway and I stopped playing with my tea, taking notice of the stack of clothes she was holding.

"I think these should be good for you." She handed me the pile and I forced a smile to my lips before heading down the hall to change.

I flinched as I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the bathroom mirror. My eyes were red and bloodshot, my hair fell in wet tangles across my shoulders and my skin seemed even paler than usual -if that was even possible. I looked like microwaved shit. I didn't understand how Alice could leave so impulsively, as if she had no one and nothing to root her here. Running away had gotten us nothing but wounded feelings so far and just when I thought we had a chance to turn it all around…she disappears with Jasper.

I felt my eyes begin to tear up again and I pushed the feelings away as I slipped out of my wet clothes and into the ones Rosalie had given me. It was obvious they'd been tailored to fit Rosalie's figure, as they hung unimpressively on my body sagging loosely in all the areas where Rosalie was clearly more well-endowed. I never thought I'd see the day where I'd be wearing Rosalie Hale's clothing but I suppose today was full of unwanted surprises. I exhaled tiredly, reaching for a hair-tie laying by the sink and using it to tie my hair back into a loose ponytail. I glanced back into the mirror scrutinizing my appearance and my eyes widened as they landed on a red bruise on my neck. I leaned in closer getting a better look, there were at least three more at the base of my neck. An annoyed groan escaped my lips as I re-buttoned the blouse to conceal the hickey's Alice had so negligently left on my skin. I only hoped Esme hadn't seen it, I didn't feel like explaining how I'd gotten those when the only person I'd spent time with last night was Alice.

I collected my clothes and opened the door, jumping when I saw Rosalie standing in the doorway her arm stretched across the doorframe blocking my exit. Her eyes scanned me over with a indifferent expression before narrowing as they traveled lower. Leave it to Rosalie to notice every little detail, especially the one thing I was trying to conceal the most. Trying to hide something from a vampire was like trying to keep water from being wet, pointless. I shifted awkwardly as Rosalie stared down at me, she lifted her hand grasping the collar of my blouse and tugging it to the side to uncover the other marks along my collar bone. She didn't say anything but continued eyeing me in a way that made me feel like she knew exactly who made the marks, I swallowed thickly, drawing the shirt back together around my neck. I didn't like the way Rosalie was looking at me, it was as if she was reading each bruising like a news article and they were telling every intimate detail of last night. I was pretty sure Rosalie already knew about Alice and I after catching us that night in the woods but it wasn't a subject that was ever mentioned again and I hoped she'd continue to exercise some discretion and not bring it up it while Esme was around.

"I'll take you home." She whispered, ending the awkward silence we'd settled in before turning on her heel and sauntering down the hall. I followed her quietly, not bold enough to test whatever mercy she was showing me by admitting I could easily walk back home.

I paused once we passed the kitchen. "Rose is going to take me home. Thanks again for the tea and I'm sorry for getting your floor wet." I apologized to Esme taking notice of the streaky shoe marks on the otherwise spotless hardwood floor.

"Don't be silly, you're welcome to stay. I can make you breakfast. I'm sure Edward will be back soon and you can open the gifts you left if you like." Esme smiled widely at me and I felt my face go pale with the thought of speaking to Edward again. I opened my mouth trying to think of a lie that would get me out of here faster but Rosalie intervened before I could respond.

"I was hoping I could take Bella out for breakfast. The two of us have got a lot to talk about. Right, Bella?" Rosalie was smiling but it didn't reach her eyes and I knew she had an ulterior motive. I wasn't the only one to notice Rosalie's unusual streak of kindness, Esme looked between the two of us suspiciously obviously hesitant to let me go with Rose.

"Thanks for the offer Esme but Rose is right we've got a lot of things to discuss, mostly school stuff. I'm a little behind in my class work." Esme's expression brightened with understanding, accepting my story without question. I was becoming concerned at how easily my lies were slipping out nowadays and how willing everyone was to believe me.

Rosalie nudged me towards the door and I trailed behind her to the garage. I slid into the passenger seat of her Scaglietti and she skidded down the driveway kicking up gravel and dirt behind her. She sped onto the main road going well over 100mph and I guessed that this is where Alice and Edward must've adopted their driving habits from. The woman obviously had no consideration for the speed limit.

I turned to her once we were out of earshot giving her a skeptical look.

"We're not actually going for breakfast are we?" The stoic glare she responded with was answer enough and I sighed settling deep into my seat. It wasn't like I actually wanted to eat with Rosalie, I just feared whatever she planned on doing otherwise. She was being so uncharacteristically considerate and it was really beginning to freak me out.

"I wasn't lying when I said we needed to talk." She said still facing forward with her hands gripping the wheel tightly.

"Please, if you know something about Alice you have to tell me." I had no one I could talk to about Alice with the exception of Rose and Edward and frankly I'd rather have a conversation with a rabid dog than with Edward at the moment.

"I don't _have _to do _anything_, never forget that." Her tone was harsh and she stared menacingly at me completely disregarding the road ahead. Her mood shifts were starting to give me whiplash, one second she was giving me her clothes to wear and the next she was biting my head off at every word I spoke. I couldn't win but I refused to be intimidated. I needed answers that only she could give me.

"Look, I have no clue what is going on! I wake up this morning and Alice is gone and she won't answer my calls, Edward is acting so…strange and he's angry and telling me all these things about Alice…then you said she took off with Jasper and her room is empty and all I know is I need to find her and I think you're the only person who really understands why." I finished breathily realizing that I must've sounded insane at this point and I wasn't sure if any of my rambling was clear. Rosalie turned her attention back to the road, she didn't say anything but kept driving. It was only then that I realized we were no where near my house we were going in the completely opposite direction.

"You honestly think Alice left?" She asked before I could question where the hell we were going.

"I have nothing that proves she didn't." I whispered to myself.

"How about the fact that she's in love with you?" I felt my breath catch in my throat at her words.

"What are you saying?"

Rosalie scoffed. "I think it's safe to say it's not your intellect everyone is attracted to." I glared at the insult but didn't say anything waiting for her to continue.

"When I told you she left with Jasper I meant that she took _him_ to the airport. Jasper's the one who's not coming back, he cleaned his belongings out of their room last night and Alice moved into the room down the hall. Esme obviously thought you were upset about Jasper. No one knows where he's going and everyone just assumed Alice would go if he left. He practically begged her to come with him and she still said no. She's giving up everything for _you_." She paused looking over at me.

"I never thought you would come to the house or be stupid enough to think that Alice could stand to be away from you. Who the hell put that idea in your head?"

"I…I don't know…" I was still reeling from the news that Alice hadn't left, that she'd let Jasper go without her because she wanted to stay here with me, that she _loved_ me.

She loved me.

"Where is she?" I questioned; the need to see Alice amplifying to an almost painful degree. Rosalie scowled again and I wondered how her face managed to still be so flawless despite the constant frown plastered on it.

"Don't worry, I'll take you to her. But first there's something I need to tell you."

"Can't it wait until after-" Before I could finish Rose unexpectedly cut the wheel sharply to the left causing the car to jerk forcefully onto it's side. The wheels screeched piercingly as the car spun then began to flip. I felt my body suspend in the air spinning with the twisting car but there was something hard stretched across my front keeping me form flying forward. An awful, painful sound like metal colliding with stone cracked in my ears as the car smashed violently onto the roadside.

It took me a while to realize I was on stable ground, my head was spinning and everything on my right side was throbbing with pain. Dust and debris swarmed the air around me polluting every breath I took. I tried to move my left arm but I was pinned against something hard and sharp that dug into my skin with each attempt at freeing myself.

"Oh my god Bella! Fuck, don't move! Just be still, you're bleeding everywhere." The panic in Rosalie's voice scared me. My ears were ringing and Rosalie sounded distant as if she was talking to me through a wall or underwater. I felt a chill run down my arm pooling in my hand, the scent of metal and rust lingered in the air and on my tongue. I could taste the blood in my mouth, it was a harsh copper taste that coated my tongue like saliva. I spit out the metallic liquid, recoiling as it came back down landing on my cheek. I hadn't even realized I was upside down and the recognition made me feel even more lightheaded as my vision gradually started to darken.

"R-Rosalie?" My voice was strangled by the pressure of my seat-belt across my neck but I knew she'd hear me anyways. The last thing I remembered as my eyes drifted shut was a flash fiery red curls disappearing beyond the shattered remains of the front windshield and Rosalie's fading voice in my ear.

**A/N: So, on the bright side Alice isn't gone yet. Yay! Don't worry I need her around for what's about to happen next. Thanks so much to those of you who left suggestions or reviews! Especially, LeCosaMaisBella, you definitely gave me a good jumping off point for this chapter. As always I'll do my very best to get another chapter out asap. Unfortunately I start school this week so it may influence my updates, but at least my campus has great internet so I'll be able to post as soon as I get a chapter finished. Please review if you have any ideas, comments, likes/dislikes. I love hearing from you! It totally makes my day. **


	9. Chapter 9: Blame Game and Old Flames

**Okay chapter update finally! Thank you all for waiting and for your reviews! I mean it, I would've given up on this a long time ago if it weren't for you guys.**** It's not really my favorite chapter. But I got tired of spending time trying to figure it out only to end up with the same thing after each edit. **

**The next chapter will definitely be longer.**

**Oh, and Steph M. owns everything Twilight.**

**Blame Game and Old Flames**

**BPOV**

"What the hell were you thinking? How could you put her in danger like that? You should've been paying attention!" Someone shouted, and from the strain in their voice it sounded like the person was crying.

"Stop arguing with me and calm down. We need to get her to Carlisle quick she's lost a lot of blood." The other voice rationalized calmly.

I struggled to open my eyes as the two voices became more audible, it felt like I'd been drugged or something because suddenly all I wanted to do was sleep. I was vaguely aware of the fact that I was moving, the smell of car fluids and dirt had been replaced by something gentle and sweet.

It smelled like Alice.

"Alice." I croaked out the name automatically, forcing my eyes to peek open enough to distinguish the blurry form of the person carrying me and the spiky black silhouette of Alice's hair. Despite the throbbing on both halves of my body I smiled, Alice was holding me in her arms and no amount of pain could dissolve the excitement she made me feel. As if to challenge that idea a sharp aching pain radiated up my arm and I whimpered squirming in Alice's arms as she tightened her hold on me.

"Rose she's awake!" Alice shouted, her hand stroking my hair as she pulled me closer against her as if too much space were one of my symptoms. "We're almost there Bella." Her voice spoke softly into my hair.

"Alice…my head hurts." The taste of blood still outlined the inside of my mouth making me grimace slightly after speaking.

"I know sweetie, don't worry Carlisle can help you. Just please try and stay awake for me, can you do that?" Alices' lips were pressed to my ear yet she still sounded so far away, I was trying to hold onto her voice trying to keep myself conscious but it was so hard. I just wanted to sleep, the sleep felt so easy it seemed natural to give into it.

"Bella? Dammit! She passed out again, we have to hurry."

**APOV**

It didn't take us long to reach my house, I was running faster than I ever had before faster than I even thought I was capable of moving. Bella's left arm was bleeding profusely, she had a gash on her forehead from slamming against the passenger window and I was pretty sure her right arm was broken. The whole time all I could think was what if it was too late? What if after she slipped under she didn't wake up? I couldn't live with myself knowing all the things left unsaid between us, or that I could've possibly prevented all of this if I'd only been less impulsive, less consumed with Jasper's leaving.

I couldn't lose her. It just wasn't an option.

I'd do anything to keep her with me.

Rose and I barged through the front doors of our home like a train through a brick wall. The sound and the smell of our arrival attracted everyone's attention immediately and within seconds Esme, Emmett and Carlisle were standing before us. Esme cried out in shock as her eyes rested on Bella's limp form in my arms. Emmett stopped breathing to cope with the blood but his body was tight and his fists clenched at his sides as if he could punch the next person he saw. Carlisle remained calm as he hurried to my side taking Bella in his arms, I was reluctant to let her go but I knew he needed to assess her condition.

"What happened?" He asked once we were all in his office. Carlisle had bandaged the laceration on Bella's arm to slow the bleeding and was now checking her vitals and other injuries. Esme was preparing water and towels to clean off the blood surrounding Bella's cuts and Emmett was standing beside Rosalie, his expression deathly serious. It was foreign to see Emmett without a smile or some goofy grin on his face. Emmett was usually the person to lighten the mood and without his beaming optimism and humor the room was stifled in a cloud of melancholy.

"We crashed into something." Rosalie replied quietly, staring down at Bella with a mixture of fear and anguish that I had only seen her express once before. I saw that same expression the day she found Emmett mauled and left for dead when he was still human. She'd brought him to Carlisle for help the same way we were bringing Bella to Carlisle now. She'd been so afraid that he wouldn't be able to save him and I knew her thoughts were darkened by that memory as we stood over Bella's unconscious form. Emmett leaned into comfort Rose pulling her into a side hug which she instantly relaxed into. I silently wondered how much of the day Emmett was turned he actually remembered, or if Rose, having such hatred for her for her own vampiric state, ever regretted taking Emmett's decision away from him.

I'd be lying if I said I never thought of turning Bella. I'd seen visions of Bella as a vampire dozens of times before -her skin pale and sparkling, her eyes the rich crimson of a newborn vitality- but she was never _mine_ to turn and the thought of her suffering even a minute of the transformation made my entire body ache with phantom pain. My family and I were all turned under violent, tragic circumstances where death or vampirism were our only options. I didn't remember my human life but the few things I did find out were enough for me to conclude I didn't want to remember.

Ever.

Bella wasn't like us. She had a good life, a family that loved her, friends that cared about her, so much potential. I didn't want to live without her but I had no clue how she felt about the idea. I didn't want to ruin her life or take away her choice.

"What's wrong with her Carlisle?" I asked returning my full attention to Bella who was lying on the sofa. My eyes roamed over the crimson soaked sleeve of Bella's blouse and the bruises darkening her fragile skin. She looked so helpless, so frail.

"She's got a concussion and it's making it very difficult for her to remain conscious."

"Is she going to be okay?"

"Well, she's suffered a lot of blood loss but not enough to warrant the need of fluids. However this arm will require a copious amount of stitches and we will need to clean it to prevent infection. Also her right arm is fractured so she'll need it set for a casting and I believe the impact of the crash caused her to bite her tongue, but that should heal on it's own."

I was annoyed by his enumerating of Bella's symptoms, he was only increasing my concern and all I wanted was for him to tell me if she was going to get better, not give me more reasons to worry. I growled impatiently against all my efforts to remain calm and Carlisle seemed to get the hint.

"She isn't showing any symptoms that are life-threatening and her blood pressure is stabilizing. It may take several weeks for the larger wounds to heal but she'll recover just fine." Carlisle finally said, exhaling a deep sigh of relief at his own explanation. He stood to grab his medical supplies then was back by Bella's side, pulling out his suture kit, before the movement could barely be noticed.

"It could have been a lot worse if you'd gotten here any later." His tone was heavy as he began removing some more tools and setting them on the tray beside the sofa while Esme removed Bella's jacket and blouse to check and clean any other injuries.

"What can I do?" I asked eagerly, just standing around idly watching Bella be examined was making me feel completely useless. There had to be something I could do to assist with her recovery or make her more comfortable.

Carlisle glanced at me briefly. "Give Esme and I an hour to finish. The three of you should wait in another room until we're done. I think you've all been exposed to Bella's blood too long already." Carlisle said pointedly to Rosalie, Emmett and I. That was definitely not the idea I had in mind when I offered my assistance and I was quick to protest Carlisle's request.

"I'm not leaving her. I'm stronger than you think, the blood doesn't bother me." I said firmly. It's not that I didn't trust Carlisle to take care of Bella, I just felt discontented with any notion of being away from her especially when she was hurt. She needed me and I needed to be with her.

"It wasn't a suggestion Alice." He said still continuing his work with Bella's wounds. "I've already lost one of my children and I won't take that risk again." He glanced at me with sad eyes and any complaints I had instantly died on my lips. I knew Jasper leaving had cut the family deep and I didn't want to rock the boat when everything was still so unstable. No one else knew that Jasper's leaving had absolutely nothing to do with his lack of restraint for blood and I wasn't sure if I could ever bring myself to tell them why he did what he did. That was partly why I went with him this morning. I wanted to know the truth about Bella's party and since Edward and I weren't on speaking terms anymore, only Jasper could tell me.

After my encounter with Edward last night I spent a lot of time in the forest contemplating what I would do next. I knew Edward's words were only out of anger but that didn't stop them from stinging and it didn't make it any easier knowing both he and Jasper were pushing for me to leave. When I made it back home I immediately sought out Jasper. He was in our room packing the things he wanted shipped with him when I approached him. I told him everything that was going on between Bella and I, and that no matter how hard I tried I didn't think I'd ever love him the way I loved her. It didn't take much explaining for him to get the message, he could 'feel' how much I cared for her. However, that didn't stop him from begging me to reconsider. He thought our history together would outweigh my "newly formed" relationship with Bella.

He was wrong.

It wasn't until after I left Jasper at the airport that I got a vision of the crash and I ran back arriving just minutes after the collision to find Rosalie carrying Bella from the car.

I looked down at my clothes, everything I was wearing was stained with Bella's blood, Carlisle was right I needed to leave. The sight of it made me feel ill, but the faint burn in my throat reminded me that I had to be careful around Bella. I was strong enough to resist her this long but I was still a predator that craved human blood. My concern had prevented me from thinking of anything other than Bella's safety, but as confident as I was that I would never attack Bella -especially after coming so close that night in the woods- I didn't want to get reckless and allow my love for her to overshadow my judgment.

I nodded my head in agreement of Carlisle's command, crouching down beside Bella and brushing the blood matted strands of hair away from her pallid face. "I promise not to pull away Bella." I whispered softly into her ear, hoping she would hear me even in her unconscious state. Without thinking, and temporarily forgetting the company I was in, I leaned in pressing a gentle kiss to her lips before heading to my room.

I made quick work of stripping out of my clothes, I couldn't stand the sight of her blood on me. After I was changed I went outside, the scent permeating the house was wracking my nerves and it took all my restraint to to go back to her. As I settled onto the front porch steps I tried to understand how this could have happened. Rosalie was a good driver…no correction, she was an _excellent _driver. She spent more time with cars than all of us combined and I was certain she could control one blindfolded and handcuffed with no difficulty at all. I didn't believe for a second that she lost control and crashed. As I went over the various scenarios in my head, the front door opened derailing my train of thought. I knew without looking who it was and I slid over to allow room for her to join me on the steps.

"What really happened today?" I whispered turning to face Rosalie, who had yet to look at me. "I just don't understand. There was nothing around that area that you could've run into. The only thing damaged was the car and unless you crashed into thin air that just isn't possible." Rosalie's jaw tightened as if she was trying to keep herself from erupting with whatever was on her mind.

"That's what I came out here to tell you. I wanted you to know before anyone else." Rosalie said lowly.

"Know what?" I asked, panic rising in my tone. I could tell from the way she was staring at me that this wasn't something I was going to want to hear.

"I didn't crash into something, something crashed into me. It all happened too quickly for me to stop it and the next thing I knew we were flipping and I was trying to keep Bella from flying from the car. I tried to protect her Alice, but there wasn't much I could do." Rosalie bowed her head looking completely dejected. It was a sight just as unnerving as Emmett's stoicism and I couldn't help but feel bad for blaming her for the crash earlier, I hadn't meant what I said. I was just scared..and to be honest I still was.

"I'm sorry I blamed you…I was upset, you know I didn't mean a word of it. I know it's not your fault, just tell me what happened?"

Rosalie's fist tightened on her lap and when her eyes met mine again they were filled with anger. "It was a vampire Alice. That crazy bitch...she did this!" Rosalie's fist shook in her lap and I placed my hand on top hers to calm her. "I didn't get a good view of her, she was moving to quickly, but the scent was unmistakable. It was_ Victoria_. She's here."

Victoria?

No.

I don't know if it was shock or fear that froze me into silence, probably a mixture of both. If Rosalie was right and Victoria was in Forks all of our lives were in danger, especially Bella's. Victoria had to know a car crash would never hurt Rose, but Bella could have been killed. She clearly had her sights set on Bella and knowing Victoria she wouldn't give up until she got what she wanted. But...

What did she want?

How did she find us and why was she here?

Did the others come with her?

Out of my peripherals I noticed Rosalie stand abruptly, I looked up to see what was wrong and realized she was looking out into the driveway. I followed her gaze and my eyes met Edward's. His eyes narrowed as he watched me and Rose, then an expression of horror struck his face. Dammit, he was in my head again! Before either of us could say anything to calm him he was already charging into the house, Bella's name escaping from his lips in a fearful cry.

**More to come soon!**

**quick shout-outs:**

**Shabbacabba - Nice guess but you're a bit off this time. I don't think you'll suspect what I have planned.**

**Imogen488 - I'll try not to let school get in the way of my updates. (that seems like it she be the other way around, lol) But, it's tough. :/**

**LesCosaMaisBella - I'll see if I can work out a good kiss coming up. I might have to get my perv on in some of these upcoming chapters. ;)**

**AeonUS and everyone else who reviewed chapter 8 - I'm glad you enjoyed it! let me know if you have any suggestions!**


	10. Just FYI

**Thought I Should've Mention…**

Hey you guys! This is not a chapter (Sorry for the dashing anybody's hopes) it's just an FYI for the rest of the story.

I just realized since this began as a one-shot that I never really gave it a time period/setting from the books. Meaning, I forgot to mention that this story is set somewhere in mid/late New Moon. Obviously I eliminated several things that didn't fit with my storyline. Some of the most obvious changes being

**1. Edward never left Bella**

**2. Bella has never met James, Victoria or Laurent**

**3. The Cullens didn't kill James and Bella never fled to Arizona**

**4. The Jacob/Bella/Edward triangle mess was settled a long time ago with Bella choosing Edward.**

I hope I didn't confuse anyone. I got a feeling someone might incorporate some of the canon stuff that I tossed out into this version and it's important that these things are clear before I get any deeper.

I've got some great stuff in store for you guys. (at least I think so) :/


	11. Chapter 10: I'll Keep You Safe

**Phew, so it's been a while. So, here it goes. Enjoy!**

**I'll Keep You Safe**

**APOV**

It took forty-five minutes for us to calm Edward. He was completely distraught over Bella's injuries and spent nearly an hour alternating between anger, sadness, and remorse over the accident. Like myself he was just looking for someone to blame, some rationale for how and why this all happened and for Edward the guilt belonged solely on himself. My brother sure had a talent for the whole self-loathing act. You'd think after nearly a century he'd learn that he can't control every little thing. Sometimes mistakes happen…then again sometimes there's a psychotic, vengeful, vampire bitch out to kill your soul mate.

And that certainly wasn't a mistake.

I'd been searching the future for Victoria's whereabouts and her plans but so far I'd come up completely empty handed. I wasn't surprised I couldn't see her, she was smart enough not to let that happen but that didn't stop me from hoping she'd slip up soon. I didn't like surprises especially not ones that endangered my family.

I heard shuffling in Carlisle's office then low whispers and my ears perked listening for words through the walls separating us. I glared once I realized the voice was Edward's. He was the only person Carlisle and Esme had allowed into the room, no doubt because they empathized with his "mate-bond" with Bella. My chest burned with jealousy as I imagined him stroking her hand lovingly and whispering words of comfort. I was only two doors down from them yet I felt a million miles away from where I wanted to be.

_I _should've been with her.

Not sitting here pontificating on what it would be like to trade places with Edward.

Alone in my new room I quickly realized how different my life would be without Jasper. I glanced around the half-empty space sorrowfully. I hadn't had time to decorate or arrange any of my furniture yet and without Jasper's things the massive room seemed overbearing and stark. I had to get used to the fact that I didn't share my space with him any longer. In fact I didn't share it with anyone; not even Bella…not yet. I couldn't fathom how Edward managed being alone for so many years. Jasper had only been gone a couple hours yet, there was an emptiness within me that felt the separation so much more intensely.

I took a seat on the edge of my bed and narrowed my thoughts in on Jasper, I wanted to make sure he was okay. A stillness overcame me as my sight began to gradually cloud until all I could see was white light. Within several seconds colors began to fill the white plane until a vision of Jasper was clearly present in my mind. From what I could see he was still on the plane and it would be another 4 hours before he landed. He was bored maybe even a little anxious, I could tell from the expression on his face and the way he was fidgeting. Because of me he was alone now too. I watched as he idly twisted his wedding ring around his finger, he was contemplating taking it off but couldn't seem to make a decision. That was the last thing I saw before the vision suddenly faded from my grasp.

It was a relief to know that Jasper was okay…at least physically. Emotionally, I'm sure he was a wreck like the rest of us and I only wished he didn't have to go through it by himself. I looked down at my hands, my eyes immediately drawn to the silver glint of the band on my finger. I knew I should probably take it off considering Jasper and I were no longer together, but removing it felt too much like removing him completely from my life and that wasn't what I wanted at all. What I wanted was Bella's love and Jasper's friendship all at once but it seemed those two desires couldn't coexist in the same realm, at least not without an adjustment period first.

I heard more noise coming from down the hall which I was content to ignore, assuming it was Edward mumbling again, until Bella's voice softly broke through the sounds freezing my every thought and action.

**BPOV**

The first thing I saw when I awoke was Edward crouched over me and Carlisle and Esme standing at his side. I didn't understand why I was in Carlisle's office or why they all looked so uneasy, I didn't remember falling asleep here and I was sure that I'd been looking for something, or someone, earlier. What was it? I immediately tried to sit up but the pain that radiated through my arm and head sharply reminded me that I was injured. I groaned at the throbbing sensations pulsing through my body.

"Try not to put any pressure on your arm. I've immobilized it for now but it's fractured and will be very sensitive for a while." Carlisle spoke as he helped me into a sitting position. My eyes surveyed the sling and the cuts and bruises on my arms and hands, whatever happened sure messed me up good. When I looked up I noticed Rosalie and Emmett in the further corner of the office (they must have just gotten there). Emmett looked at me as if I was some present on Christmas day that he couldn't wait to play with but Rosalie didn't look at me at all, my eyes caught another figure in the doorway before I could inquire about it. Alice smiled broadly the moment our eyes connected and it was suddenly as if all the memories from the last 36 hours came spilling in at once. I remembered everything. Kissing Alice, waking up to Edward this morning, arguing with Edward, Rosalie driving then the crash and Alice carrying me through the woods. I felt dizzy from the viscous onslaught of mental images and I grasped at the air clutching onto the first thing that could steady me, which just so happened to be Edward's shoulder. He quickly lifted a arm to balance me then took a seat beside me allowing me to lean against him.

Carlisle crouched in front of me. "Bella could you do me a favor and follow this light with your eyes?" He held a tiny flashlight in front of my face moving it from left to right. I did as he requested and he seemed satisfied with the results. He turned to whisper something to Esme and she disappeared from the room for several seconds before returning with a glass of cold water. I accepted the glass from her hand shakily. "I feel fine Carlisle, I'm just a little dizzy." I said attempting to lift from Edward's shoulder to, only to fall back against him moments later when I felt too weak to continue. I noticed Rosalie and Alice lung forward slightly as if to catch me and I gave them both a reassuring smile to let them know I was okay.

"Try not to move too suddenly Bella. There's no rush, we've already contacted Charlie. He's in Port Angeles for work but he's going to hurry back and should be here by early morning." Edward said gently rubbing my shoulder. That news did calm me somewhat but I was still far from relaxed. I was certain Charlie would never stop worrying about me after this. I'd be lucky if I was allowed to go to school without police escort.

"You can sleep here tonight, I've already set up one of the guest rooms for you." Esme said smiling affectionately, though the way her eyes looked me up and down told me she was still concerned about my health and would likely be just as bad as Charlie when it came to worrying. "I'll fix you something to eat. You need to keep up your strength." Esme said before dashing out of the room.

"I'm going to the downtown office to pick up the casting molds, keep Bella comfortable until I return." Carlisle said looking at his four children.

"Emmett and I will come with you." Rosalie announced, following Carlisle out of the room and I couldn't shake the feeling that she was just looking for an excuse to leave.

"I'm glad you're okay small fry." Emmett said grinning as he clung to the door-frame. "I'd hug you but you're pretty broken up at the moment." He sounded a little disappointed.

I laughed. "It's okay Em, I'll take a rain check on that." He tossed me a sly wink before leaving and I knew he'd actually remember and expect to cash-in on that hug as soon as I was better.

The door swung shut behind them and the room was immersed in an uncomfortable silence that neither one of us seemed brave enough to break. It was like no one knew what to say or maybe we did but just didn't want to say it given the present company. Individually my relationship with Edward and Alice was fine but as a trio we were about as fun as frostbite. I stared at Alice from across the room as subtly as I could manage while still leaning against Edward. She'd yet to move closer or speak but her eyes remained fixed on me as if she was afraid I'd disappear if she looked away. I felt a cold chill brush over my arm reminding me that Edward was more than just a hard object to balance myself, he was a person who loved me and who cared about my safety.

"I was so worried for you." Edward said softly nuzzling his face into my hair and breathing in deeply. I was a bit uncomfortable with the action -not because I didn't like it- but because he was doing it in front of Alice. I wasn't sure if he didn't realize how awkward it was for her to watch us together or if he simply didn't care. I pulled back gently, trying not to injure his pride but also trying to avoid any discomfort between Alice and I. Edward didn't seem to notice what I'd done as he continued talking. "I should've been there to protect you. My behavior was inexcusable, if it wasn't for me you'd have never been in that situation." He was blaming himself. Why was he blaming himself? It was no one's fault, cars crash everyday and I didn't want anyone to feel bad because of something none of us could control. I glanced to the doorway to see if Alice had the same expression of guilt that Edward's voice contained but she was looking away, pretending not to be paying attention even though I knew she was listening to the entire conversation.

"Edward you're not responsible for what happened and besides I feel fine." I gestured for him look me over and see that even though I was scraped up I would eventually heal, of course not as quickly as a vampire, but I would heal nonetheless.

Edward nodded trying to accept my explanation but I could tell he was still unsatisfied. I was grateful that he was here and that he was concerned for me but I couldn't keep my thoughts, and my eyes, from wandering back to Alice. Edward and I would have plenty of time to be together later, but right now it was her that I needed beside me.

"Edward, do you mind if I speak to Alice privately?" I whispered even though I knew Alice would hear. He glanced over to Alice then back to me, he was uncomfortable with the idea but he didn't challenge it. Instead he nodded and slowly stood heading towards the door. As he passed Alice he paused briefly whispering something only she could hear, her eyebrows scrunched and her eyes darted to me before she glared back at Edward. Whatever he said offended her and I scowled at Edward's back disappointed by his immaturity. I didn't want to drive a wedge between them but Edward certainly wasn't making it any easier.

The second he was gone and the door was locked behind him Alice was by my side. The instant she was near me everything felt infinitely better, even the pain seemed to numb. I never understood how she could have such a huge effect on me without even trying. Alice was like magic. I smiled placing my hand on her cheek and tracing the curve of her jaw up to her ear and then back down again, her eyes drifted shut as she exhaled contentedly. I felt like I was seeing her for the first time in years, I couldn't keep myself from touching her. I never knew you could miss someone so much in such a short amount of time.

"I missed you." I whispered leaning in touching my forehead to hers. She giggled and the sound was like music to my ears.

"I was only gone a couple hours." She replied taking my free hand in hers locking our fingers together as she brushed her fingers up and down my hand with her other hand.

"Yeah but…"

"You thought I left with Jasper." Alice finished the sentence I was going to say and I nodded against her.

"How could I leave with him when you're here?" She asked plainly, though I knew it wasn't a question I was meant to answer.

"Don't ever scare me like this again Bella. I thought…I thought I was going to lose you." Her tone was much darker than moments earlier and I felt my eyes tear up at the anguish in her voice.

"I'm okay Alice…really." She shook her head disbelievingly no more convinced that I was okay than Edward was. I sighed, this wasn't my first time with a broken arm or stitches. Someone as clumsy as me didn't go through life without a few patch ups and doctor's visits. Vampires didn't get hurt, so it was hard for them to accept that frailty was normal for humans and nothing I said to convince them would suffice.

I tugged Alice's hand up to my chest placing it over my heart. She looked at me confused until I explained. "Do you feel that?" She nodded. "That beating says that I'm okay, it says that I'll heal, it says that I'm alive and there's nothing you have to worry about." I kept her eyes locked with mine so that she could see that I meant it. She opened her mouth to say something but quickly closed it, changing her mind.

"Tell me." I asked, feeling that what she was going to say was important, but she shook her head unwilling to voice what was on her mind. I didn't try and pry it from her because I was sure that, whatever it was, she would tell me when she was ready. I rested my head against her shoulder, relishing every breath I took which was saturated with Alice's sweet scent. Something about Alice's scent drove me crazy, it was euphoric. I'd cuddle with a cactus if it smelled half as good as Alice did. I inclined my head to the right, placing a light kiss at the base of her neck and she shivered at the contact. Her reaction, however slight, spurred my desire even more as I led a trail from her neck to her jaw, becoming more intense with every kiss. Alice pulled back after a short while. She stared at me searchingly before lifting her hand to feel my forehead.

"You're definitely not feeling well if you think this is a good idea." She said clicking her tongue at me as if I was some feverish toddler. Her lighthearted tone took the sting out of being rejected but it didn't discourage me from the need I felt to be closer to her.

"I just…" I trailed off aware that the next thing I was going to say wasn't really something I wanted the rest of the house to hear. I looked around the office and noticed a small pad and pen sitting on the desk I used my good arm to pull it closer and into my lap. Alice watched me curiously as I scribbled the words down in the little book, when I was finished I handed it to her.

_I just need to touch you. I promise it won't go too far._

I bit my lip as I watched her read it silently, a small smile broadening across her face afterwards. She wrote underneath my note then passed it back to me.

_Is this a typical human thing? Car crashes make you horny?_

I blushed at the last sentence, despite my best efforts to suppress it, and Alice giggled patting my cheeks to cool them. I passed the book back to her after I was done writing my reply.

_If I say yes does that mean you won't stop me?_

Alice quirked a brow at me, a coy smile gracing her perfect pink lips.

_Of course I'm going to stop you. They'd hear us! But it's nice to know your turn-ons include near death experiences. Is that what got you interested in Edward…Tyler's van crashing into your truck?_

I read her last note then forcefully threw the book back at her but of course she caught it mid-air with a cheeky smile.

"That was a cheap shot." I said pouting as Alice gave me a playfully innocent smile. She opened the book back up and quickly jotted something down before gently placing it in my hand.

_One kiss._

I choose to reply in actions rather than words as I leaned in capturing Alice's lips between my own. Her hand moved to tenderly grasp the back of my neck pulling me closer but keeping enough space between us not to disturb my bandaged arm. As I pressed forward to deepen the kiss Alice pulled away, wagging her finger.

"The cut on your tongue is still open." She whispered frowning. I felt around my mouth with the tip of my tongue, tasting the unpleasant copper taste of blood vaguely as I brushed over the cut. I looked back to Alice apologetically. I was glad that she was alert enough to notice because I'd hate to find out what would've happened if she didn't.

"Don't worry about it." She gave me a quick peck on the lips before hopping up from the couch. "Besides, I think your food is ready. I can move you to the guest room now, it's way more comfortable than Carlisle's office."

I agreed and I attempted to stand only to feel a firm hand keeping me in place. Faster than I could register Alice kneeled down scooping me up in her arms as if I weighed nothing at all. As tiny and delicate as she was it would have looked quite suspicious to anyone who didn't know Alice was a vampire to see her carrying me. Within in moments we were in the guest room and Alice lowered me gently onto the bed. She tucked a stray strand of hair softly behind my ear before skipping towards the door.

"I'll go see what's keeping Esme?"

"Wait." I shouted as a thought popped into my head. Alice paused at the door turning back to face me. "Is everything okay with Rosalie? Because she seemed a bit off earlier. Was she hurt?" I watched Alice closely to judge her reaction to my question.

She sighed shaking her head. "No, she didn't get hurt. Like the rest of us she just doesn't like seeing _you _hurt. This whole thing has reminded us all of how vulnerable humans…" She paused to correct herself. "How vulnerable _you_ are Bella. We can't help but feel accountable when we aren't able to protect you. Rose cares about you a lot more than you think but she has a weird way of showing it." I didn't ask anymore questions or try to stop Alice when she left the room to help Esme. I leaned back against the pillows contemplating what Alice had said about them feeling responsible for keeping me safe. Was it safer to be a vampire than it was to be human? Surely there had to be some consequences and dangers of being an immortal supernatural being.

I wondered if that option was considered for me today? Was that something Alice or Edward would want? Was it even something that I would want for myself?

As the questions flooded my brain I realized I only had one answer…

I don't know.

**APOV**

I turned the corner from Bella's room nearly colliding with Edward's front as he stood in my path. The smile that I'd been wearing immediately dropped from my face and my muscles tensed in expectation of a confrontation.

"_Do you honestly think I'd hurt her?_" I asked mentally, recalling the warning I'd been given as Edward exited Carlisle's office.

"No, not intentionally." I was surprised when his expression softened and I allowed myself to relax as well. "But when exactly do you plan on telling her, or the rest of the family, about Victoria? How do you think she'll react when she finds out about the things you and Jasper did? Bella's acceptance can only be pushed so far." He didn't sound threatening or angry and I wasn't sure what had inspired this sudden rush of civility, if he wanted to he could've revealed everything to Bella right now but he didn't. It wasn't as if I hadn't considered what Edward was telling me but Bella had been through so much already. We were just starting to move forward and telling her about Victoria could jeopardize everything. I wanted to hold onto the little bit of happiness we'd created just a bit longer before it all was taken away from me.

Edward kept talking. "Today you did something I was unable to do, which was keep her safe and I will forever be grateful for that…but this doesn't change the way I feel about your _friendship_ with Bella and I will do whatever it takes to make sure she's safe. Including kill any vampire that's trying to hurt her…regardless of your history with Victoria." He whispered the name vehemently as if he couldn't wait to get it off of his tongue. I was ashamed I even knew that name. I hated the way my hands shook when I pictured the redheaded vampire in my head. I hated how the memories of her followed me no matter how far I ran or how many years passed.

I hated _her_.

If I didn't kill her Edward certainly would...but how do I kill the person who created me?

**I'd appreciate any suggestions you guys could offer for what you want to see happen next. I aim to please and I love to know what readers are thinking. Btw, thank you so much to anyone who reviewed, you know who you are and you're awesome. ;)**

**Btw, just wondering how many of you saw Breaking Dawn? Any thoughts on _that_ madness? Ashley Greene = Sex. Am I right or am I right?**


	12. Chapter 11: Tell Her

**I'll save my commentary for the end. Hope you enjoy!**

**Tell Her**

4 Days Later

**BPOV**

"You'd think after all these years he'd be able to come up with something a little more original than Emmett was here?" Alice shook her head disapprovingly as she turned my cast over in her hands. "I don't think that jerk left any space on here for the rest of us." She muttered indignantly, as her eyes roamed over the numerous drawings and doodles Emmett had scribbled on my cast. Honestly, it looked like a fourth grade art project had exploded all over it and I was beginning to question what I was thinking when I allowed him to do it. Maybe it was my eagerness to be distracted since I hadn't exactly been sleeping soundly the past couple of days. I had an awful feeling that people were keeping something from me, something important. I was used to Edward keeping secrets to 'protect me', but it was Alice who'd always been honest with me and Alice who I suspected was hiding something big.

I'd convinced Charlie to let me stay with the Cullen's for the last four days -considering Charlie still had to work during the day and no one felt comfortable leaving me home alone- it didn't take long to persuade him. I figured being at the Cullen's would at least give me the opportunity to reconcile things between Alice and Edward, but that's hard to do when the former was absent nearly everyday I was staying with them. It wasn't like she was avoiding me, it was more like she was busy…like she had something important to take care of. Edward was different as well, clingier than usual as if he was afraid that being separated from me for two seconds would result in some unnamable catastrophe. Last night he nearly had a conniption when I had to get up to go to the restroom, and after four days of that kind of behavior I just couldn't stay indoors any longer. School was a much welcomed interruption.

"I worked hard on those drawings!" Emmett yelled tossing a falsely offended look over his shoulder to Alice before focusing back on driving. "You wish you had my artistic skill and creativity." He announced smugly earning a scoff from Alice, who shoved him roughly in the shoulder before settling into the seat beside me.

"It looks like a third graders art project." She mumbled. Or a fourth graders I thought to myself. She kept hold of my cased arm playing with my fingers that stuck out of the top.

"Are you sure you're ready to go back?" Alice sighed. "You don't have to, I could bring you your assignments home and your teachers would understand. Rose is staying home for another day just to be safe -after all you're the only one who actually _looks_ like you were in a car crash- so you wouldn't be alone."

"No, I'll be fine. I actually want to go back." I watched her fingers as I spoke, twirling them around my own.

"Okay, now I _know_ you're not okay." She joked.

"Alice is right, another day wouldn't hurt. Just to be safe." Edward said turning around in the passenger seat to face us. The brief exchange of looks they gave each other further confirmed my suspicions that they were both aware of something that I wasn't and I tried not to make it too obvious that I noticed.

"Look this isn't up for discussion, I feel great. This is my senior year, I at least want to be present for _some _of it."

X/X/X/X/X

My first three classes went along surprisingly uneventful but by fourth period word had fully spread of my and Rosalie's "brush with death." There were all sorts of speculations about what happened -most of them untrue- one of the more outrageous ones being that Rose and I went on a drunken joy ride the day after my party and Rose -in a inebriated stupor- lost control of the car. That scenario was wrong on so many levels and I was grateful Rosalie had chosen to stay home today. Otherwise I'm sure she would have murdered a third of our school population simply on the basis of their utter stupidity. You can always count on a gossipy teenager to exaggerate even the smallest of details.

Which is brings me to my lunch period.

"I never guessed you'd be a so irresponsible Bella. I mean, I know you, like, changed or whatever after dating Edward but, wow." Jessica whispered across the cafeteria table before Angela elbowed her, hard, in the ribs.

"Jesus Jess, it's not true! Sorry Bella, some people just like to talk, they'll make up any story to make this town more interesting." Angela said smiling at me before giving a pointed look to Jessica who was still rubbing at her side.

"Besides have you seen Rosalie? That girl has got a body like a temple and I doubt she'd ever fill it with anything that could ruin _that_ figure." Angela muttered offhandedly, starting to peel her orange. Mike and Eric nodded in agreement as they dug into their food trays and I did my best to suppress my smile. Angela is the best.

"What are you nodding at? You think she has a nice body?" Jessica asked accusatorily staring at Mike, who opened and closed his mouth several times before wisely stuffing it with more food and muttering a nearly incoherent, and unconvincing, 'no'. The rest of us erupted in laughter as we watched the bickering couple debate about what's appropriate in a romantic relationship. Emmett, Edward and Alice choose that moment to approach the table with their meagerly portioned trays, taking a seat in the three empty chairs nearest to me.

"Why don't we ask Edward and Emmett and get the opinion of a neutral party?" Angela said and everyone's gaze shifted to the two boys who stared back curiously.

"Our opinion about what?" Emmett asked, excitement clear on his face, probably thinking it was some type of game or riddle. Which, if you thought about it, it kind of was.

"Do you think it's acceptable to say that you find someone else attractive if you're in a relationship with another person?" Jessica asked as if she already knew the answer and everyone leaned in closer in anticipation of Edward and Emmett's response.

"I don't see a problem with it, as long as you're committed to you partner." Emmett answered honestly and surprisingly serious. "What about you Eddie?" Emmett nudged Edward lightly.

"I think people have lots of thoughts and urges that are sometimes best kept to themselves, especially if they are already faithful to someone else." Edward spoke normally but I noticed Alice tense up and I directed my attention down to my half eaten salad, suddenly not seeing the humor in this conversation.

"See, I told you!" Jessica shouted, giving Mike a reprimanding slap on the shoulder. I poked absentmindedly at my salad as the conversation got pulled to another topic, something like 'what's healthier nachos or pizza?' Edward must've noticed my mood because he leaned into my ear whispering. "I was just answering honestly. I'm sorry if I upset you." I knew he was being truthful, he hadn't intended to make us uncomfortable, but knowing that he really believed in what he said made me worry about how well he could handle our situation. I wasn't even sure that I could handle "our situation." Edward and Alice seemed to be getting along fine but I had an inkling that it had more to do with the whole _'tragedies bring people together ideology', _than an actual desire to be kinder to each other. At least on Edward's part.

The other night as I lay awake in the Cullen's guest room I realized something, actually I realized a lot of things -like how the painkillers I'd been given not only made me drowsy but also really sweaty, and how the DVD Edward had put in was only interesting if you were actually coherent enough to understand it- but most of all I realized that the entire time I was hurting, the person I wanted with me the most was Alice.

That has to mean something, right?

Because the more I thought about it Alice was my first choice in lots of things. She's the first thought on my mind when I wake up and the last when I fall asleep, and even in my sleeping state, I dream about her perpetually. It's like I'm filled with wanting for her 24/7. Some days I can't even remember how I went so long not touching her or kissing her and now that I have experienced that feeling I know I'll never be the right for another person. I'll never be 100% for anyone but her and that thought kept me awake nearly everyday since the crash.

I could've died in that crash and I would have carried the burden of the lie I was living to the grave. The lie that made me believe I could have them both, or that I _wanted_ them both. I loved Edward, I would always love Edward, but its a companionate love that feels hollow and forced. Edward and I have commitment and intimacy but there's no passion. I don't crave him, I don't miss him when he's gone, I don't think about him when I'm with her. I needed him to understand that I wasn't choosing her over him, a piece of me has always belonged to Alice since the moment I first saw her and I had to tell them both how I felt.

Even if it broke his heart, even if it broke _my _heart, I had to end it with Edward.

"I think I left my history textbook in the car." Alice said standing hastily form the table, snapping me out of my thoughts." "I'll see you all after lunch." I watched Alice's face as she turned to leave, she looked uneasy. She couldn't have been that upset by the conversation, no, it was something else, maybe something she saw. Everyone else continued eating, completely unaware but I lifted from my seat, intent on following after Alice, until Edward's hand gently slipped into my own under the table. He smiled lovingly down at me and I abandoned any attempts at leaving for the moment. Knowing how temporary our relationship was, it was the least I could do.

**APOV**

I walked out to the car lot, spotting the motorbike and Jacob's muscular form immediately. He smiled as I approached him but I knew he was here for more than just the fabulous scenery and my charming personality.

"I expected the whole Cullen crew to come out." He said looking me up and down, making a silent joke about my small stature.

"They don't know you're out here. Sorry to disappoint, I didn't have time to mobilize the welcoming committee." I said grinning and he laughed.

My expression faded to a more serious one as I spoke my next words. "What are you doing here?"

"Come on Alice, spare me the insult of pretending you don't know why I'm here." Jacob's face hardened as well. It was as if a switch had been flipped and all idle chitchat had been pushed aside.

"That redheaded leech-" He must've noticed me flinch at the term because he reluctantly amended himself. "_blood-sucker_…" I guess that was better? "…killed two workers at the docks yesterday and something tells me you and your family already knew she was here." His tone was accusatory, yet there was a softness in his eyes that told me he was hoping it wasn't true. He didn't want to deliver the first blow of a supernatural war anymore than the rest of my family did. He was here out of a courtesy to us and Bella.

"They don't know anything. Only me. I've been tracking her the past four days but I wasn't able to find her before she killed someone." I whispered the last part guiltily. "She's really good at not being found."

"Four days? You've known that there was a rogue vampire in Forks for four days and you tried to take her down on your own? Are you out of your mind? She could have killed you!" By now Jacob's shouting was beginning to attract the attention of the few students eating their lunch on the school steps, and I tugged his arm leading him a bit further down the parking lot away from spying ears.

"You don't understand. I know her, she's my…we have a history. I can handle it on my own. I _have_ to handle this on my own." I stared up at Jacob silently asking for his understanding, but how could he understand? No one except Jasper and I could really understand what it meant to know Victoria was back, and he was a thousand miles away.

"She's here because of you isn't she?" Jacob asked as if reading my mind.

"I don't know, all I know is I need to find her before she does anything to hurt someone else. I need you to keep this to yourself for a while Jacob."

"You're joking right? Even if I wanted to I wouldn't be able to hide it for long, the pack bond would expose me. Plus everyone on The Rez already knows, I just thought I'd give you a heads up and find out if you knew anything, which clearly you do." He folded his arms looking as if he was trying to keep his tough disposition up and stop himself from appearing to sympathetic.

"The pack isn't my concern. Just don't tell my family…don't tell Bella." I wanted to be the one to tell them, the last thing I wanted was for Bella or my family to hear about it through the grapevine.

"Tell me what?"

Fuck.

I cringed as I heard the familiar voice behind me, turning around slowly to find Bella several feet away, her face scrunched in confusion. Jacob's presence was clouding my ability to foresee her coming, and I silently cursed him for whatever it was in him that made my power ineffective.

Before I could say anything to Bella, Jacob's panicked voice thundered over mine. "You're hurt!" He surveyed Bella's cased arm, the various bruises and bandaged cuts on her hands and face. "When…H-how did this happen to you?" Jacob's wide stare moved over Bella several times before snapping back to me and scowling.

"Remind me again of how you're '_handling __it_'." Jacob said, hands shaking at his side.

**Thanks for reading! I've got the next chapter nearly finished which will explain Alice's "history" with Victoria. As always I appreciate anyone who was kind enough to review! It really helps me get a direction for what to do next. If you have any suggestions or things you want to see happen in the upcoming chapters just PM me or leave it in your review. Anything you suggest I can make it happen as long as it's in the realm of reason.**

**Shsway - Wow, that was one of the most thorough and flattering comments I've ever read. Thank you! I hope I can continue to interest you. :)**

**ButtahAndBenzo - I took your advice and I'm working on getting Alice and Bella together soon. But even the best relationships have their trouble so I'm keeping it realistic. ;)**

**OrangeSmurfette - Lol, Ashley may be straight but Bellice fics definitely aren't. :) She's still hot tho.**

**CULLENCRAZY1 - I thought Breaking Dawn was the best of all the Twilight movies (with the exception of the first). Although the honeymoon segment literally made me want to puke. But I did like how it was kind like a romantic horror movie in a lot of scenes. Plus Jacob, Leah, and Seth's 'mini pack' made me want to be a werewolf, b/c they were just so cool looking.**


	13. Chapter 12: Abigail

**Hey all you sexy beasts! I hope you can tell I'm working on my update time. I realize my updates have been a bit ridiculous the last couple of chapters. My bad. Anywho, I hope you enjoy this chapter! It's a bit short but...idk.**

**Stephanie Meyers own everything Twilight. Ughhh, I feel like I shouldn't even have to say this anymore. :l**

**Chapter 12: Abigail**

**Biloxi, Mississippi 1922**

"P-please …I-I'll do anything, just don't hurt m-me. I have money, m-my family has lots of money I can give you _anything_ you need." It was upsetting to witness the young woman beg so shamelessly knowing there was nothing I could do to change the course of her fate. She was kneeling on the dirty, wet, cobbled pavement of the alleyway, ruining what looked like a very expensive dress and clutching at the fabric of my skirt. I kneeled down so that I was eye-level with her, cupping her cheek in my hand and wiping away the tears streaking her face with my thumbs.

"Shhhhh, don't cry. Don't worry I'll make this painless, such a pretty face should never look so sad." I twisted a strand of her sweat soaked hair around my finger fondly, as her choked sobs slowly subsided to a stuttered whimper. Despite my sympathy for the girl I hadn't fed for almost a week and I was trembling with the anticipation of a fresh kill. I could practically taste her blood in my mouth as I inhaled her scent and I clutched my hand behind her neck to pull her closer. My fingers located the pulsing vein on her neck, caressing the area, allowing each rhythmic beat to lull me into a distracted hypnotic state. She shuddered but did nothing to get out of my grasp reconciled to the fact that fighting was useless. She was young, no older than nineteen, and so beautiful that for a moment I felt guilty for ending what could've been a promising future. Who was I to keep deciding who lived or who died? It was only two years ago that I was apart of the human race. I'd never fully accepted my role as executioner, but this life left little room for compromise, especially if that life was under the command of Victoria.

"What is your name?" I stared into her eyes waiting for a reply.

"A-Abigail." She stuttered nervously. Her heart was racing and I listened to the blood rush through her body, flushing her skin a tempting pink.

"Abigail." I repeated the name quietly. "That's a very pretty name." I smiled sincerely. I wasn't sure why I always felt the urge to converse with my victims before I killed them, it was a bad habit that seemed necessary at the time but always left me feeling remorseful afterwards. For some reason I couldn't just kill someone without at least knowing who they were.

"Alice darling, have some tact and don't play with our food." Laurent sighed in annoyance watching unenthused from the far end of the alley we were in.

"Let her enjoy herself! Where is the fun in rushing? This human certainly isn't going try to escape. Are you?" James asked leaning down to whisper to the petrified girl, who looked as if she was about to either vomit or faint. She shook her head vehemently looking up at me with wide, pleading green eyes. "Good." James smiled giving her a patronizing pat on the head. He winked at me as if he had done me some sort of courtesy by backing me up with Laurent. I scrunched my nose in disgust at his leering eyes, unconvinced by his kindness. Even as a coven-mate I'd always hated James but I, like everyone else, tolerated him to keep the peace.

"Alice…be quick." Jasper interjected from beside Laurent with a wounded expression on his face. I'd nearly forgotten he was with here. Jasper usually didn't come hunting with us because his power made the experience too uncomfortable and I could tell he was having a difficult time coping with the emotions the human was projecting. He was only accompanying us because he didn't trust James, who had a reputation for inciting trouble anywhere we went. Jasper was good at reading James' moods and he figured if he was around he could protect me from whatever stupidity James caused. Last month we were forced to kill an entire dinner party of people after James was caught holding the mangled corpse of the hostess in the coat room.

No one wanted a repeat of that night -except maybe James- so we had to be extra careful.

"Your boyfriend is weak Alice." James moaned, feigning boredom as he turned to Jasper. "No one forced you to come with us, I'm sure there is a rabbit somewhere around here you can suck on if this is too much for you." Jasper growled a warning and James flippantly ignored him, laughing as if Jasper was some type of circus act meant to entertain him. Jasper stepped forward challenging James, who immediately stopped laughing long enough to return the gesture. James may have been crazy but we all knew there was no way he could beat Jas in fight. Jasper still had newborn strength and he'd had ample experience in fighting vampires during his time with Maria's coven. James must've realized that he would get his ass handed to him around the same time the rest of us did, because he backed down, trying hard to not look intimidated.

"I've finished with mine, what's taking you four so long?" Victoria suddenly appeared ahead of me, so fast I didn't even notice her until she'd spoken. I felt the same rush of fear and excitement I always experienced whenever she was around and I stood abruptly from my kneeling position, standing straighter to appear as strong as she'd taught me to be.

"Alice and the human are exchanging postal codes." Laurent muttered snidely. I scowled, angry that he'd sold me out so easily. Asking him to keep quiet about something was like asking a fish not to swim. Laurent was older than all three of us and often behaved as if that gave him license to treat us like children.

Victoria quirked a brow at me, silently requesting an explanation. "It just doesn't feel right to not know who they are." I answered lamely, bowing my head.

"Alice, we've discussed this already. Do you think they converse with the animals they kill to survive? Does it make you feel any better knowing their names and hobbies? No. They mean nothing to us and your sympathy for these _humans_ will only hinder you."

"But Jasper doesn't-" Victoria interjected before I could finish.

"Jasper will learn to accept his place in this coven sooner or later." She spared a harsh glance towards Jasper who was sulking behind Laurent. "I won't tolerate weakness from any of you." She shouted, scanning over each one of us before landing squarely on me. "Especially you Alice. The blood of animals will never allow you to reach your full potential. Every time you deny your natural urges you put this entire coven at risk. I didn't create you to be weak Alice." I'd always known that Victoria favored me over the others, because I was her creation, and my faith in her had been unfaltering over the years but lately I was beginning to question her tactics. I didn't want my life to be like this. Never truly having a home, traveling constantly from place to place, slaughtering innocent people, living such a hedonistic existence.

I didn't know what I wanted but I knew this wasn't it.

But where else could I go? This coven was my family.

My human life was a total blur, all I'd ever known was vampirism and the few details from my past that Victoria had divulged. She told me how my human family hated me and had me committed to an asylum when my "gift" of future-seeing became public knowledge. They never visited me, they never looked for me after I disappeared and they never wanted me.

But Victoria did.

She rescued me from that horrid place and gave me the power to change it all. I felt indebted to her, yet at the same time she had a violent and twisted dark side that terrified me. I just hoped I never did anything to warrant her wrath. I wasn't sure I could handle her disappointment or disapproval.

"It won't happen again." I said, with renewed loyalty earning a proud smile from Victoria.

"Come here." She beckoned. No sooner did I step forward did Victoria swiftly bite into Abigail's throat, breaking her neck in the same action. I gasped lunging forward, not sure what I was planning on doing, but James placed a restraining hand on my shoulder stopping me. I listened as the frantic beating of her heart slowed to silence, extinguishing every living part of her. Victoria signaled me to come closer and I reluctantly crouched beside her. She transferred the limp weight of Abigail's body to me and I supported the weight of her head in my right hand while my left arm encircled her waist.

"Drink." Victoria commanded firmly. I stared into the vacancy of her -now pale- green eyes solemnly before surrounding my lips around the freshly pierced skin of the human's still warm neck. I drank feverously, emboldened by my thirst, until her body was nearly drained. I let her body slip from my grasp after finishing, hitting the ground with a dense thud as I forced my eyes to tear away from the lifelessness of her.

I felt sick and I swallowed thickly, eager to get the taste of her off my tongue.

Victoria grinned proudly at me, reaching to softly brush the residual blood from my lips with her thumb before leaning forward and licking the remainder off of my lips.

"Good girl."

**Boom. So there is chapter 12. Let me know what's going through you head. Like it? Hate it? Confused? Hungry? Whatever! This isn't the last you'll see of Alice's past, that girl has definitely got some demons in her closet. In case I don't say it enough, thank you all for your alerts and reviews! You guise are my inspiration. :D**

**FuniBunny: I'm actually not 100% sure what I'm going to do with Edward. He's an enigma to me right now. :/**

**Cloudstrife3180: Yeah, I like the idea of Jake and Alice being cool with each other. Jake and Alice have both got a lot of changes ahead of them so we'll see what happens with their pseudo-friendship.**

**CullenCrazy1: Yeah, you know Bella Swan, always everywhere that she doesn't need to be. Lol. Thank you for your offer! If I get stumped I may take you up on it. ;)**

**XxDarkAngelBabyxx: Thank you! I hope I can retain your interest.**


	14. Chapter13: Promises and Puppy Dog Kisses

**A/N: Yes, yes, I know I'm a terrible person. I can practically feel the dirty looks I'm getting through the internet. I had a HORRIBLE case of writer's block and a really rough time formatting the events in this chapter. If you guys actually enjoy this I'll flail my ass off.**

**It's a bit longer so hopefully that makes up for something. :/**

**Promises and Puppy Dog Kisses**

**BPOV**

After interrupting Jacob and Alice in the car park I knew that I couldn't walk away without knowing what was going on, the words _"don't tell Bella" _were practically an invitation into their conversation. I wasn't sure why Jake was here but that didn't stop my mind from assuming the worst and it didn't lessen the offense I felt that the two people I was closest to in the world were sneaking around behind my back.

"What happened to you Bella?" Jake was in front of me now, his fingers grazing the bruises over my eyebrow and on my cheek, as he scrutinized my injuries.

"Would you believe me if I said I slipped in the shower?" I joked to ease the tension and was relieved when Jake actually smiled looking somewhat reassured by my humor.

"Knowing you…yes, I would believe it, but seriously how did this happen? And why didn't you tell me?" His tone was a mixture of distress and disappointment that instantly made me feel guilty.

"Rose and I got into a car crash." Jake stared at me skeptically as if he was expecting me to shout 'psyche' and offer the real reason I got hurt. I figured he was asking himself the same question I'd been asking myself since the crash, 'what made Rosalie to lose control of the car?' I know everyone thought I was a fragile mind that needed coddling through even the simplest of tasks but I could put two and two together just a well as the next person…or vampire. I knew the odds of someone getting into a car crash, with senses and experience behind the wheel like Rosalie, were lower than my chances of walking a straight line without tripping over my feet. I may have been a klutz but I was an observant klutz and something about the crash didn't make sense.

"I didn't call you because I didn't want you to freak out or worry for no reason…" He began to argue but I didn't allow him to finish. "And before you say you wouldn't have freaked out let me remind you that I know you. You would've been furious." He seemed to think about it for a moment before he sighed in surrender.

"I'll forgive you this time, because I'm guessing you don't need the added stress but if something this serious ever happens again you have to promise me you'll let me know. How would you feel I was hurt and you were the last to know about it?" He had a point with that one, just imagining Jake being in harms way made my stomach twist in knots and I winced at the thought.

"I promise." My voice was firm so that he understood that I meant it and judging by the warmth in his expression I was sure he did.

Once I was certain that Jake was assured of my wellbeing I turned my attention over his shoulder to Alice who hadn't taken her eyes off me since I walked up. She was wearing an odd expression that made me nervous to hear the answer of the question I was about to ask.

"What's going on Alice?" Jake stepped aside and I moved around him until I was only a foot away from her. Her eyes fell away from mine as I approached, as if she had been both expecting and dreading that exact question.

"It's nothing to worry about. You should get back before lunch is over. We can talk after school ends." Before I could object to the absurdity of returning to school as if nothing had happened Jacob spoke up.

"This isn't just about you anymore Alice. This concerns her too and she's not going anywhere until you explain what's going on." Jacob's tone was forceful but the part of me that wanted to defend Alice was overshadowed by the part of me that agreed with Jacob. The forlorn expression on Alice's face, however, did not go unnoticed by me. I resisted the urge to pull her into my arms and comfort her because I sensed it would be counterproductive to making her open up. She ran a frustrated hand across her face as Jacob and I patiently waited for her to speak.

"You two aren't going to let this go are you?" The defeat in her tone implied that she already knew the answer but we shook our head 'no' in response anyway.

"Can we go somewhere to talk?"

"Of course." I agreed without hesitation. I still had three more periods of class left and I was sure that Edward and Emmett would notice us disappearing. However, as I stared at the defeated expression Alice was wearing my desire to stay waned considerably and I knew I would go anywhere she asked me to.

"You pick the place shortie." Jake said walking towards his bike.

"I know somewhere no one will interrupt us." Her hand found mine and she gently tugged me with her up the parking lot towards Edward's Volvo. She released her hold on me momentarily to feel under the front bumper of the car, retrieving a small silver case. "Edward has a hide-a-key." She responded to my unasked question and I briefly wondered why I hadn't known that. She climbed into the driver's seat, after helping me inside and making certain my safety-belt was secure, then slowly pulled out of the car lot with Jacob following close behind.

The ride was comfortably silent as Alice drove and I was thankful because I had more than enough thinking to make up for the communication that was currently lacking between us.

"You know I'd never hurt you…right Bella?" It was the first thing either one of had said since we entered the car ten minutes ago and it was far from what I was expecting to hear. Why was she asking me this? The answer was obvious. I trusted Alice with a ferocity that overwhelmed me and I knew she would never intentionally hurt me. Before I could reassure her she was already speaking again as if she hadn't really been expecting an answer to begin with.

"This isn't how it was supposed to be." Her voice was muttered and though I had to strain to hear her I understood what she'd said. Her behavior frightened me, not because I felt in threatened, but because it was so unlike the bubbly, optimistic Alice I was used to. This Alice worried me. This Alice made me wish I was Jasper simply so I could take the pain she was obviously feeling away. I was so distracted by everything that was happening inside the car that I didn't even notice when it stopped moving. She turned to me after shutting the engine off, blinked once, then twice, then shook her head as if erasing the thoughts that previously occupied her mind like an Etch-n-Sketch. A brief look of realization flashed in her eyes at the fact that she had zoned out for most of the drive.

"Where'd you go just now?" I asked pulling her hand from the center console and squeezing it in mine. It was clear that something had her pretty freaked, I just wanted her to understand that I was here to support her.

"I was just thinking." She replied dismissively with a shake of her hand, smiling a tight smile that was entirely unconvincing.

"About…me?" I knew I was pressing her but the overly-inquisitive part of my personality just couldn't let it go.

Alice exhaled a heavy sigh, "Mostly about you, yes." Her eyes lifted from the spot she'd been staring at to meet mine and she brushed a stray strand of hair behind my ear before letting her hand fall to my cheek. "You're going to hear a lot of things about me Bella and most of them are going to be bad...very bad. I won't hold it against you if your opinion of me changes once I've told you everything." The expression on her face was of complete seriousness and I felt a chill run through me at the heaviness of her words.

"I would never-" The words barely left my lips before two silencing fingers were placed over my mouth, effectively suspending my protests.

"Don't make any promises until you've heard. Okay?" Her eyes were begging for my compliance. I didn't believe it was possible for any conversation involving Alice to be about bad things, the girl was a total saint, but for her I would pretend to not make any promises.

"Okay." I agreed, albeit somewhat reluctantly. Alice smiled again and that time I almost believed it. What was making her so nervous? She was thinking so loudly I could almost have a conversation with her thoughts.

"Hey, are you two okay in there?" Jake questioned from outside my window reminding me that we weren't alone.

As we stepped out of the car I was finally able to see where Alice had brought us. It was a small, single-level house set back in the forest about a mile from the road. The style mimicked the Cullen's home, with very modern architecture and glass walls lining the front. It was definitely the perfect place to have a private conversation.

"Who's house is this Alice?" I asked with slight skepticism. Did she have some sort of secret family I didn't know about?

"Well, the deed would say Carlisle's but technically it's Jasper's. He had it built as kind of an escape for the days when emotions were running high in the main house. It hasn't been used for a couple months but Carlisle still pays for the utilities just in case anyone needs it." The three of us made our way up the modest gravel pathway, waited for Alice to unlock the door, then stepped inside. The space was small -consisting of just a lounge area, a bathroom and a small kitchen which I was sure was never used- it was minimalist but charming and comfortable. I took a seat on the vintage leather couch and Alice quickly joined me, taking the spot to my right while Jake opted for the loveseat across from us. I watched curiously as Alice pulled out her cell phone, typed out a message with impressive speed, then stuffed the device back into her pocket. I didn't need to ask to know she was texting Edward.

"Edward was worrying." Alice explained without provocation. "I told him where we are but he'll wait until school ends to follow us." I exhaled a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding from the moment the name Edward rolled off Alice's tongue. I knew having Edward, Jake and Alice in the same place at one time would be a fiasco and I was glad we had a least 3 hours before we were interrupted. Truthfully, I was surprised that Alice and Jake were managing to be cordial to one another. They had a decades long, supernatural, family feud between them that should have made this entire afternoon a lot more uncomfortable than it was but instead they were talking and acting as if they were…friends, well, maybe acquaintances. Even if it was only for my benefit I was happy that they were able to get along.

"You ready to tell us who this woman is or are we gonna play 21 questions?" Jake leaned forward in his chair resting his elbows on his knees, looking expectantly at Alice.

"Jake." I scolded lightly, though in my mind I was trying to piece together what woman he kept referring to. Still, I didn't want Alice to feel under inquisition. I knew this wasn't how she intended to tell me…or anyone else and I wanted her to feel comfortable to talk at her own pace.

"It's okay Bella. He's right. I just…don't know where to start." She grasped my hand in hers pulling it into her lap.

"Whatever it is, just start from the beginning." I offered, giving her hand a encouraging squeeze.

"It all started in 1920 when I was turned by a woman named Victoria."

X/X/X/X/X

"You killed humans?" My voice was hoarse sounding from disuse and I swallowed several times to rid myself of the lump in my throat. It wasn't a question that I wanted Alice to answer and I wasn't sure what had provoked me to ask it in the first place. Mostly I just wanted to end the silence that had blanketed us, so I impulsively blurted the first thing on my mind. I didn't know how to react to what she had admitted. I mean when someone tells you they killed people -as in multiple persons- you expect yourself to react with a certain amount of shock and horror, but when that killer is someone you love it's not as clear how to respond. This was Alice we're talking about. The same Alice that buries her head in my shoulder when we watch scary movies because she's too disturbed to watch. I could hardly imagine that she was capable of feeding from animals, let alone human beings.

"You don't have to answer that. I'm just…surprised and I don't know how to react." It was quiet for a long while after that and I could tell Alice was worried that the more I thought about what she'd admitted the more likely that I would freak out. Jacob on the other hand didn't look phased at all. Had he heard stories like Alices' before? Were these the type of things the pack discussed in the privacy and security of the Rez? I suddenly felt very naïve and very aware of the fact that I was not apart of their world. Alice was a vampire and vampires drank blood. Anyone who has ever read Dracula or watched Interview with a Vampire could discern that much. She needed blood to survive, so why had it never crossed my mind that Alice would succumb to such an overwhelming temptation? Her innocent features and petite stature had numbed my mind to just how powerful she really was. I was holding Alice to the same degree of perfection that Edward had so frequently placed me in, as if she wasn't liable to make mistakes.

"What are you thinking?" Her voice was a whisper of insecurity as she stared at only me for a response. She probably thought I was going to run for the exit, screaming for Jake to protect me, the first chance I got but honestly I was surprising myself with how easily I was accepting everything. It's not everyday that you find out that your vampire, semi-girlfriend used to belong to a coven that tortured and killed humans and that the leader is trying to kill you for some unbeknownst reason. That's certainly not how I thought I'd be spending my Wednesday afternoon. I felt like I should be afraid or horrified because at least those were emotions I understood but instead all I felt was this mixture of sadness, sympathy and adoration that made my head spin and my heart swell. It was impossible for me not to care about Alice despite the things she'd done but I had to admit there was still so much I didn't know about her. If I planned on being a couple with Alice I needed to know about her past.

"Edward, Rosalie and Jacob all knew before I did." I gestured towards Jacob who was still remaining silently discrete about his presence, recognizing that the conversation was becoming increasingly more Alice/Bella centered. "Why didn't you tell me? Did you think I wouldn't be able to handle it?" There was the slightest trace of bitterness in my tone and part of me was relieved to feel an emotion that was actually relevant to the situation.

Alice shook her head. "You don't understand. I didn't want to add another reason for why you shouldn't be…" She tossed a quick look to Jacob before hesitantly amending what she was about to say. "…_my friend_. You deserve the best Bella and I wanted to be better for you. I couldn't do that without letting my past be forgotten. Please don't be mad at me." Her tone was beseeching and as she spoke her thumb gently brushed over the back of my hand, tracing patterns that tingled every piece of skin she touched.

I sighed, deflating like a cheap party balloon. "I'm not mad." At least I wasn't anymore. What would it take for me to find barriers to my acceptance? It didn't deter me that she was married to Jasper when we first kissed, or that she almost bit me that night in the woods, or that she'd killed humans and her former friend was now trying to kill me. Issues that would have proven fatal to any "normal" relationship only made me realize the obstacles I was willing to overcome to be with her.

"Jake, could you give us a minute?" He was already standing up when I turned to look at him.

"No problem. I could use some fresh air." He smiled softly at me before looking to Alice. He opened his mouth to speak before re-thinking it and simply offering a gentle smile that she returned easily.

"Can you tell me what it was like…being with them?" I asked after Jake had been gone for a few minutes.

"Are you sure you want to know?" Alice asked pressing my hand to her cheek and closing her eyes with a comfortable sigh, her breath drifted across my arm and my hand buzzed with warmth that spread from my fingers to my cheeks.

I nodded against her hand. "It wasn't all bad, the majority of the time it even felt like we were a real family -the kind that protects and cares for one another- but no matter how long I stayed it never felt normal. It's like the kind of feeling you get when you drive down a one-way street or make a decision you know you'll regret. Something inside you twists and tells you it's wrong, that you should be stop but you feel helpless and stuck. Living with Victoria was poisoning my life, every day that went by I could feel myself growing numb to the pain I was inflicting but it was like I was trapped. I should have left sooner than I did but I stayed out of some distorted sense of loyalty." She bowed her head regretfully.

"What about Jasper? You said he was with you after you were turned." She nodded her head in confirmation. "If Victoria didn't change him too how did you meet him?"

"I saw him in a vision." Alice replied simply, still staring at her lap where she'd placed our clasped hands. "From the instant I saw him I knew we were meant to be together." My face dropped after hearing her words as feelings of resentment I thought I'd overcome suddenly resurfaced. Alice and Jasper had I history I could never compete with and I'd be lying if I said that didn't frustrate me. What was stopping Jasper from coming back anytime and trying to take her away from me? I knew better than anyone that just because another person enters your heart doesn't mean all the other loves cease to exist; they just get smaller, less imperative. I felt Alice tighten her hold on my hand and I when I met her eyes I saw that they were soft with understanding. "I mean we were meant to be in each other's lives…as companions. He was so miserable before I found him, his coven persuaded him to do horrible things and because of his power he suffered more than any person should ever have to endure. After my vision I sought him out and I brought him back to Mississippi where my coven was staying, hoping he could be happier with me than he was with Maria, his former leader. Unfortunately, Victoria hated the idea of bringing a new vampire into our group and was not shy with showing Jasper how unwelcome he was." As Alice spoke her fingers traced over my knuckles and down my palm, in a repetitive cycle, before linking my fingers with hers. I suspected the gesture was a anxious way of detaching herself from the weight of what she was revealing to me and I allowed it, conscious of the emotional stress she likely felt.

"Jasper and I began to spend a lot of time together away from the others. He taught me that I had options and that I didn't have to hunt people. Victoria noticed Jasper's influence on me and became extremely jealous of our closeness. She saw him as a threat and she worried he would weaken our coven by being overly empathetic to humans. After three years her patience with Jasper ran dry and she demanded that he hunt like everyone else. When he refused she decided it was my responsibility to 'teach him how to be normal.'" Alice stared vacantly at the worn, brown, leather of the sofa. "I couldn't force that burden on Jasper and I knew Victoria would never let up, I saw her decision to kill him if he didn't submit. I watched, in my mind, as Victoria and the others tore him to pieces. She had always intended to kill him, regardless of what I decided. She wanted me to see it so I'd understand exactly what she was capable of. She was insane." Alice laughed bitterly, shaking her head and smiling a painful smile that looked out of place on her delicate features.

"So Jas and I ran away. It took us two years to finally stop looking over our shoulders and another year after that before we eventually met Carlisle. The last time I saw Victoria was in 1952 at a boutique in Paris. Rose and I were shopping and I spotted her across the street, talking to a hotel attendant, with the same sadistic smile blood red eyes that I remember. She never saw me but Rose noticed my reaction and convinced me to tell her what was wrong. Up until now Jasper and Rose were the only people I'd ever talked about my past with." I noticed she didn't mention talking with Edward about her past and I assumed it was because him knowing was never a decision she could control.

After Alice was finished and I'd exhausted any questions I wanted to ask we sat silently processing everything that had been said. There was a calmness about Alice now that she'd confessed everything she'd been holding in, the type of relief one can only feel after purging a secret. I scooted closer cuddling into her chest as my arm snaked around her waist keeping her close. "Thank you for telling me." I whispered against her collarbone.

"I should have told you sooner." Her words were muffled by her face pressing into my hair but I had no problem understanding her.

"It's okay." And it really was.

"I thought you wouldn't want me once you knew. Though I can't really blame you if you didn't." I frowned at the ridiculousness of her statement, pulling back so that I could see her face.

"Alice, I never _stop_ wanting you. The day I thought you left me was the worst day of my life…I never imagined it would hurt that much to be without you." Alice stared up at me with a cheerless smile and eyes that seemed conflicted at meeting mine.

"Victoria did this to you because of me. I know she did." I was pretty sure she'd ignored everything I just said, she was too hung up on Victoria and she wasn't allowing herself to be consoled. "I'm not that different from her Bella, I can feel it. It's like she put something inside me when I was turned something evil that I can't erase. I don't know which version of myself is the real me. Am I the person here with you, that has a good family and who goes high school pretending to blend in? Or am I that girl who…murdered people, the one who once stood side by side with the woman who did this to you?" She ran her fingers over the blue plaster of my cast with a dejected frown. "Sometimes I wonder if maybe you'd be better off never knowing me."

Better off never knowing her? "I can't believe you just said that." I pulled out of her arms backing away from the sofa as she watched with surprise. I ran my hand through my hair several times as I paced the span between the couch and the coffee table trying to compose what I wanted to say. Had I really made her that insecure about our relationship? Knowing Alice was the best thing that ever happened to me, if she didn't understand that then perhaps I wasn't making myself clear about how I felt about her. Before I could think twice I felt the words rushing from my lips like a water from a busted ship hull.

"Alice, I'm in love with you! And when I say 'you' I mean _only _you and I need you to believe that because I don't know any other way to make you understand that never knowing you would hurt far more than a broken arm ever could. You're the person I wake up everyday thinking about, the person that I stare at every chance I get because sometimes I can't believe how amazingly beautiful you are, the person who I never want to feel bad because it hurts me just as much. You may not always know who you are but I do and I'll never let you forget it. So, please never think for a second I could be happier without you. I don't know how to be without you. I just…I love you."

Silence.

I could swear I heard a pin drop, a church mouse squeak and a cricket chirping in the corner. Maybe it was just my imagination but as I stared at Alice's unblinking face every second seemed ten times longer and quieter. Though the words had left my lips with surprising confidence, the way my hands shook and my heart hammered in my chest indicated that I was feeling anything but confident at the moment. We both knew there was nothing platonic about what I'd admitted and I wished that Alice couldn't hear the nervous thumping of my heart after confessing something so vulnerable. I could literally count on my hands how many times I'd said I loved someone -twice to Edward, once to Jacob, three times to Charlie and my mom, and once to a teddy bear I had when I was five- I wasn't big on grand emotional declarations but when I said it I always meant it and never had I been more sure about those words that when I was saying it to Alice.

I just wished she'd say something before I had a heart attack or passed out from nerves.

No sooner had that thought left my mind was I suddenly wrapped in Alice's arms, surrounded by her scent and the comforting chill of her body pressed against mine. I returned the gesture enthusiastically, circling my arms around her neck and burying my head into the curve of her shoulder. I felt my fears instantly dissolve, replaced with a warmth that began in the pit of my stomach and spread through my entire body.

"Promise?" She asked leaning away to look at me directly, grinning a massive smile that illuminated her entire face. She looked so remarkably happy that I couldn't help the swell of pride I felt at causing her previously dim expression to disappear.

"I swear." I said firmly.

Her eyes were glossy with fixed tears as she leaned closer, her lips hovering lightly above mine before speaking. "I love you too Isabella Swan." And just like that everything else had faded to black and all the space in my mind was consumed by Alice -her eyes, her hands on me, her tongue peeking out to wet her lips. I was experiencing every romantic cliché all at once -the racing heart, the weak limbs, speechlessness- and when she finally pressed her lips to mine, with a kiss feather soft, I couldn't imagine anywhere in the world I'd rather be.

Her lips melted against mine exploring every curve with slow, deliberate familiarity. If it was even possible, everytime Alice and I kissed seemed better than the last. It was as if we were in competition with ourselves, intent on making every instance of physical interaction unforgettable.

It didn't take long before our physical closeness set off our desire for something deeper and more intense. Alice's restraint was the first to crumble as I felt myself moving backward until my back was pressed against the wall with Alice pressing hard into my front. Her hands migrated down my neck pulling my mouth firmer with hers as her tongue gently slipped between my lips greeting my own in a clash of warmth and coolness. My hands found their way into the back pockets of Alice's jeans massaging the petite roundness of her backside appreciatively. The groan Alice responded with made my stomach flutter excitedly and I shivered as the vibrations the noise resonated across my lips. I was hot, flushed and tingling with want that increased with every passing second that Alice was touching me. My body was screaming to speed up the process, to direct her hand to the place that I felt that sensational pressure building with rising urgency. But, no, it was too fast, too soon. She'd barely been kissing me for two minutes and already I was coming undone at the seams like a poorly knit vintage sweater.

I felt myself being lifted from the floor and before I could blink twice I was back on the couch. Alice guided me flat against the sofa, situating herself so that her legs were hugging either side of my body before her lips connected with mine to continue where we left off. I distractedly noted that this was the second time Alice had been in such a position on top of me. I liked that she was so dominant. With Edward, I had to direct nearly every intimate encounter between us and he was always so worried about hurting me that it never felt natural. Alice's body was new territory for me but it felt right and every action came as if I'd done it a hundred times.

A gentle nip at my neck and the chill of her hand sliding under my unbuttoned shirt (when did that happen?) made me inhale a sharply. She repeated the process of biting at the skin above my pulse-point softly before trailing her tongue wetly over the spot to ease the sting. I wasn't sure if it was a vampire thing or an Alice thing but she seemed intent on marking me. I kind of liked the idea of having something on my skin that told everyone I was hers but it wasn't exactly the wisest idea if we planned on being discreet. I guided her face away from the already tender skin of my neck and back to my mouth. She pouted adorably and I placed two consolatory kisses on her tiny bow-like lips, whispering into the third as her mouth hovered over mine. "I'll bruise." I watched awareness pass across her face before it was slowly replaced with a sly grin as her eyes remained fixed just below my chin.

"I can buy you a scarf." She whispered playfully, her fingers tracing over the area with fondness.

"How did you just make this about fashion?" I joked, earning me a teasing swat on the shoulder. She leaned back down a moment later re-attaching her lips to my neck placing 1, 2, 3, chaste kisses just below my chin before sucking lightly on the area. I bit down on my lip to muffle the moan building in my throat, squirming under Alice and trying desperately to lift my hips hoping to alleviate even a fraction of the pressure I was feeling below my waist. The groan that escaped Alice as my hips lifted into her was deep and guttural and it was all the encouragement I need to repeat that action. Just as I was beginning to curse the layers of denim between us and the fact that my position below her was making it impossible to get the leverage I needed, Alice removed her leg from my left side situating it between my legs.

"Better?" Her voice was low and dripping with lust and the coolness of her breath against my ear forced my body to react instinctively as my hips tightened around hers pressing into her shamelessly. I could only nod in response to her question, not trusting myself to speak as my body continued to betray me again and again by grinding into Alice.

My hands, seemingly of their own will, had traveled under her blouse and were working diligently at removing her bra. Just as I'd unclasped the intrusive garment and both palms had firmly sieged Alice's breasts with unrestrained enthusiasm, a rumbling noise echoed in my ear making me hesitate. My eyes snapped open seeking out Alice's only to find that they were pressed tightly shut. I stilled in my movements long enough for her to take notice and she slowly peeked her eyes open.

"Sorry…I'm trying to control it." Her tone was labored and her eyes had faded to possibly the darkest black I'd ever seen. I could still faintly hear rumbling emanating from her chest like thunder in the horizon, and I was having a hard time ignoring how sexy it was to have Alice so turned-on that she was actually growling.

"Maybe we should stop?" Wait. What? What was I saying? That was the last thing I wanted, in fact I had at least five erogenous zones screaming for me to shut my big mouth and keep going. However, when it came to Alice my hormones had a way of shooting from zero to sixty in a matter of seconds and if we didn't stop now I was certain I'd be sans pants and impulse control within the next two minutes. I wanted Alice bad (really, really badly) but I didn't want our first sexual experience together to be on Jasper's couch, in an unfamiliar house that Emmett and Edward would likely be barging in on within the next 30 minutes. It sounded cliché but I wanted it to be special and memorable for all the right reasons.

Alice sighed, dropping her head to my shoulder in resignation. "Too fast?" She asked, quirking an eyebrow at me in a really endearing way.

"No, the pace is fine. It's just the place that's wrong." I said softly as I brushed the spiky wisps of hair that had fallen forward out of her face. Her hand rested on my chest and I could feel the vibrations each beat of my heart was sending across her palm, like bass on a stereo speaker. She leaned in pressing a soft kiss to my cheek that abruptly ended as the weight of her body and the pressure of her lips suddenly disappeared altogether. A growl very unlike Alice's ripped through the living room and I felt myself roughly pulled from the couch and pressed between two hard surfaces. Someone had thrown Alice off of me and she was now crouching defensively behind the sofa, with a furious expression I'd never witnessed before. Jake was in front of me, his arm outstretched across my chest and his body shaking with the threat of transformation. Alice was looking at Jake as if he'd just made the biggest mistake of his life and her fists clutched at her sides in preparation.

"Get out of here Bella!" Jake yelled, pushing me away though his eyes never left Alice across the room.

"Jake, what the hell are you doing?" I didn't understand why he was attacking, she'd done nothing wrong but with the way Jake was acting it was only a matter of seconds before she retaliated.

"She was biting you Bella!" His tone was incredulous as if he didn't understand why I was defending her and I realized that he'd completely misread what he saw.

"No, she was _kissing _me." I managed to duck under his arm standing in front of him and successfully placing myself between two antagonizing forces. I grabbed his shoulders to get him to concentrate on me and quit scowling at Alice. "Jake, she was kissing me. You know Alice would never bite me, think about it." His breathing was ragged but the trembling of his body had ceased as he slowly processed what I was telling him. It wasn't until I noticed his eyes drop and widen that I realized my shirt was completely open as well as the top button of my jeans (shit, when did THAT happen?) exposing me almost entirely to Jake. I pulled the shirt together embarrassedly, blushing deeply as I re-buttoned my shirt and my pants.

"Wow." His eyes shifted from Alice then back to me three times in disbelief before finally landing directly on me.

"Yeah." I responded simply looking over to Alice who I noticed had also fixed her clothes, although with considerably more grace and less spectacle. Her eyes, though still darker than normal, were relaxed and free of any animosity and the tension in her shoulders was gradually releasing.

"Wow." Jake repeated looking even more stunned than he had five seconds ago and I considered for a moment that maybe I'd broken him. His speech was skipping like a scratched record.

"Yeah." Alice echoed my earlier response, hopping over the sofa to take a seat on the edge of the armrest.

"I-I didn't even know you were…you know…gay."

"What? No, I'm not…" My words came our a bit too quickly and about 3 octaves higher than normal, earning me confused looks from both Jake and Alice. "I mean…I guess m-maybe a little…for Alice." I winced at the silliness of the statement I'd just made, doing my best to avoid the humored looks I was sure Jake and Alice were throwing in my direction. Did I really just say I was gay for Alice? Honestly, I'd never thought of our relationship as a matter of orientation. I knew I wasn't "experimenting" as Edward had so bluntly put it but I also didn't want my love life to be labeled like some kind of grocery item. I loved Alice and that was all that really mattered to me. Case closed.

"So…" Jake said, ceremoniously clapping his hands together to get our attention before taking a seat on the loveseat. "Is Alice the reason you never gave me a real chance Bella?" He grinned teasingly and I rolled my eyes at the goofy look on his face, not even bothering to supply an answer. "I mean, I'm not entirely surprised." I quirked an eyebrow at him hoping he would elaborate but he just kept talking, quickly moving on to apologize.

"I'm sorry about overreacting. It was just instinct, nothing personal." Jake stared at Alice hopefully, waiting for her to confirm that she had no ill feelings towards him.

"I understand. You thought you were protecting her and given the circumstances I can't really blame you for that. I would've done the same thing." Alice smiled with her usual exuberance and Jake mirrored her response.

I joined Alice the sofa taking the seat beside her and instinctively pulling her hand into mine. Jake watched our clasped hands with mute curiosity before grinning yet another goofy smile and suddenly I understood what he meant about "not being entirely surprised." In fact now that I thought about it I was probably more physical with Alice than with any other person I knew. It was like second nature for my skin to be touching hers even before we established a romantic aspect to our friendship.

"Are you okay with this? This isn't how I wanted to tell you but apparently I don't really have the best luck with timing in these situations. I just...don't want you to feel weird or anything." Jake and I had both accepted long ago that a friendship was our only option but I didn't want him to feel like door #3, as I hopped from Cullen to Cullen. It wasn't like a competition between the three of them that Alice had won. It just took me some time to accept who I wanted to be with.

"To be honest if you're gonna be with a _vampire_," I noticed the word vampire was a bit stressed but I figured it was more of a instinctual response than a deliberate tone. "...you could do a lot worse than Shortie." It might not have sounded like much of a compliment but Alice and I both knew those words were practically a blessing coming from Jake, despiser of all things vampiric. It felt good to have someone I cared about actually supportive of the relationship Alice and I were beginning. The last two people who found out didn't take the news nearly as well and a part of me had been scared to tell anyone else. I was both proud and fortunate to have a friend like Jake in my life.

Now, if I could only get him to stop grinning at us like we were a couple of cute puppies licking each others noses.

"So, is there any food in this place?" Jake slapped his hands on his lap as he stood up, walking to the kitchen. "Because we've got at least an hour until the cavalry shows up and, since no one tells me anything anymore, you've got a lot to catch me up on."

**Please review if you have the time. I am always, always open for suggestions! In fact, I desperately need some new ideas for what readers want to see happen next. This story already has an end but you guys can totally help shape the middle. ;) **

**Also, to anyone who reviewed the last chapter (if I haven't already responded to you) thank you so much! i know this is a really generic shout-out so I promise to send PM's to all of my reviewers in the future. Next Chapter coming soonish. Might have some guest stars popping up.**

**p.p.s. - I'll edit later for errors later on when it's not 4am. **


	15. Chapter 14: Something Fun

**This is a shorter one. Next one will be longer.**

**Steph M. owns everything referencing Twilight. **

**8 Days Later…**

"No."

"Pleaseeee Bella."

"Absolutely not."

"Oh, come on! Do it for me."

"That's not going to work this time Alice." I rolled onto my back, avoiding what I was sure would be the best pleading expression she could muster.

"I'll let you hold my hand." The threat was small and certainly less influential given that Alice's hand was already firmly linked in my own.

"I'm already holding your hand." I reminded her teasingly, huffing as she suddenly slipped her hand out of mine placing both of them behind her back out of my reach.

"You're so mature." I said glaring, though I couldn't contain my smile at how playful she was being.

"Think about it Bella. It'll be fun and when is the last time we actually did something fun? Even your birthday party was-" She paused, tapping her chin with a critical expression. "..._complicated_." Her hand waved in the air emphatically and she looked pleased at having found the word she was looking for. "It's just one night and I could definitely convince Em and Rose to come with us. Maybe even wolf boy will want to come along, if he hasn't gotten tired of me yet." She smirked mischievously at the mention of Jake. The two of them had gotten pretty close since last week...well, as close as a vampire and a werewolf could be. Jake accepted Alice far better than he had Edward and I imagined it was partly because she was a girl but mostly because Alice was_ really_ hard to dislike. She'd confided in me that even Jake's scent wasn't as strong as it used to be, all it took was time, and I wondered if time would have any affect on Alice's predictions when she was around him.

I stared at her contemplatively. She had a good point about one thing: we hadn't done anything "fun" together in while and even a home body like me needed a good outing every now and then. Though I had to admit, with Victoria roaming freely across Washington, I was hesitant about leaving the house for anything other than school or visiting Jake. It was clear that Victoria was capable of hurting me (even killing me) but my pride wouldn't allow some stranger to completely dictate how I live my life. Besides, I had a pretty good team on my side when it came to protecting me from Victoria. Last week Alice had confessed everything about the psychotic vampire to her family and Carlisle had ordered at least one of his children to bodyguard me at all times; a position that Alice and Edward gladly opted to fill. I was touched by how casually Alice's family reacted to the secrets she'd kept for so long about her past. There were no feelings of betrayal or deception; just complete understanding and endless support. Then again, I would have expected nothing less of Charlie had the roles been reversed. Families were supposed to be sympathetic and supportive and -as I watched Esme embrace Alice in a emotional hug, Emmett swear to do whatever it took to protect all of us and Carlisle, Rosalie and Edward quickly set into devising a plan to locate Victoria- it had never been more clear exactly how close the Cullen's were and how much they loved each other.

There was only one person who didn't know and at Alice's request everyone agreed not to inform Jasper of Victoria's resurfacing. Alice assured us that Jasper needed to distance himself as much as possible from the situation here in Forks. Every vision she'd seen of someone informing him resulted in the disappearance of his future. That was all anyone needed to hear to be convinced that involving Jasper was a bad idea, and though Esme and Carlisle remained in continuous contact with their son both of them promised not to tell him of Victoria.

That night was one of the rare moments that Alice recognized Jasper was gone. She seldom mentioned him in casual conversation but I knew she missed him greatly. She never called him, or went into their old room, the books he'd forgotten on the fire mantle stayed untouched and unmoved, and she still wore her wedding ring everyday. She didn't need to say she missed him for me to understand; sometimes it's the things we don't do or say that give us away the most.

So, if Alice wanted to do something fun to distract us all, the least I could do was play along.

"Okay, I'll go to the Halloween thing!" She looked on the verge of exploding with excitement but I quickly held up a finger letting her know I wasn't finished talking. "I swear if you make me wear something awful I'll never let it go and I fully reserve the right to use any disastrous events against you for as long as I can remember." I was only half kidding but I didn't want to seem totally whipped so I at least had to pretend to be in charge as I pointed a stern finger at her.

"Oh Bella, we're going to have such a good time!" She squealed bouncing on the bed beside me like a child given too much sugar. I had to admit Alice's enthusiasm was contagious and I smiled, liking the idea slightly more after witnessing her enthusiasm. She repositioned herself beside me, placing her head on my shoulder with her left hand splayed lazily across my abdomen. My stomach swirled with butterflies at her touch and I wondered if I would ever get used to the feelings that ignited when Alice was holding me.

Probably not.

"Where is this party at anyways?" I asked curiously, distracting myself from the swarming in my stomach.

"A club in Port Angeles. I've been there once before with Rose and I really think you'll like it." Her fingers twirled in haphazard circles across my shirt, dancing like miniature ballerina's over the buttons. I stared down at her with rapt interest, angling my head slightly as the spiky wisps of her hair tickled my cheek.

"A club? Do you think Carlisle will be okay with us going to a club an hour away with everything that's going on?" Carlisle was the most mild-mannered person I'd ever met, but I was sure even he would get anxious with his children going to a party in another city at the same time a maniacal vampire was touring Forks.

"A little. But I'm sure he won't be too opposed to the idea if Rosalie and Emmett go with us. We'll be safer with more people." I nodded, reassured by her explanation.

"Do we need costumes? I mean, we can't really show up in jeans and a t-shirt, right?" Alice didn't say anything and the movements she was making on my shirt stilled briefly. Even though I couldn't see her face I could already see the smile she was wearing.

"You knew I'd say yes, didn't you? How long have you had this planned?" Had I completely forgotten who I was dealing with? Of course she knew I was going to say yes. She'd probably bought our costumes weeks ago.

"Only a few days!" She said in defense of herself, lifting up slightly to look at me directly. Her tone was remorseful but the wide smile that never left her expression hinted that she wasn't really apologetic.

"You're lucky I think you're cute." I said, tapping her nose quickly with my index which earned me a glaring pout. I kissed her quickly to erase the pout, then added another slower one to see her smile. I licked my lips as I pulled away, happily tasting the sweetness of her on my mouth.

"So, what costumes are we wearing?" The last time I'd celebrated Halloween was when I was six years old and my mom forced me to dress as the sheep to her Little Bow Peep costume. Needless to say I was scarred for life and to this day wearing cotton brings back frightening memories.

"I can't tell you, it's a surprise." I rolled my eyes dramatically having already guessed that she probably wouldn't tell me but needing to ask anyways. I trusted her enough to know she would never persuade me to do something that would make me miserable so I let the subject drop.

We settled into a comfortable silence allowing the peace of the moment to lull us into a relaxed state. A breeze crept in from the cracked window gliding across the two of us, causing me to shiver and Alice to tighten her hold on me. Though the action did little to warm me, it was comforting to feel her so close. At the risk of sounding like a total cliché I'd been dreaming of this since the first time Alice and I met.

I could kiss her without pausing to think that she might recoil in shock.

I could look at her without worrying that she'd read every unspoken desire in my eyes before I ever had the chance to tell her.

The world around us may have been going to shit but as far as I was concerned everything, in side this room, was perfect now.

There was only one unsolved issue that could ruin this moment. _I still needed to break up with Edward._

I know what you're thinking. Why am I still with him? Trust me, it's more of an issue of convenience rather than cowardice. To be honest I just haven't found the right time to tell him, and no, it's not because I'm avoiding the problem. Breaking up with someone is always easier imagined than actually done, especially if that person is someone you still care about. Besides, Edward's been too distracted by his relentless mission again Victoria to notice the shift occurring between us anyways. We haven't been behaving like a couple for a while now. After I'd rejected multiple passes at physical intimacy, he'd given up all together with trying to kiss or touch me. He'd stopped taking the seat beside me at lunch or when we watched tv in the living room and he refused to acknowledge the way I was dividing my time between him and Alice. He seemed to be throwing all his energy into searching for Victoria -ignoring the flashing red lights that spelled doom for our relationship- as if finding (or killing) Victoria would be the redemption to everything.

I could empathize with his desperation because I knew what it was like to want to be close to someone but to feel them pulling away. There was a time not long ago when I felt the same way about Alice.

But my hesitance wasn't just for Edward's sake. Everyone would be affected by my decision so timing was very important. The Cullen's had already been through enough grief because of me -with Jasper leaving, Victoria attacking residents of Forks, Rosalie's car getting totaled, and The Pack being even more suspicious of vampires once they find out from Jake's mental connection that I'm dating Alice- and I didn't want to add _"I'm breaking your son's heart and hooking up with your daughter" _to the laundry list of reasons I felt like a weight on their family. What if Edward choose to leave just like Jasper? Esme and Carlisle had already suffered enough with losing one son, they didn't deserve anymore stress.

Still -selfishly- I couldn't help imagining what it would be like once Alice and I could finally be public about our relationship. When I wouldn't have to share the title of 'girlfriend' with two people. When I could go to school holding her hand instead of draped under Edward's arm. We wouldn't have to hide away in my room, or Alice's room like Flowers in the Attic, we could be free to do whatever we wanted.

"Alice?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I ask you something?" She perked up giving me a quick nod encouraging me to continue.

I bit my lip nervously, phrasing the words in my head carefully. I wanted to ask her about our future. I wanted to know if she'd seen this all play out. Would we end up happy? How long would we have to hide what we felt? But as I stared at Alice's expectant smile and gleaming golden eyes I couldn't push myself to disturb the moment with heavy questions. Instead I simply kissed her softly, ignoring the buzz of words in my head and kissing deeper to keep any questions from escaping her (or my) mouth.

I could wait another day.

Right now I just wanted to kiss my girlfriend.

**A/N: Mad props to Me-Stylista for story suggestions. And thank you to everyone who reviewed (or all who are still following this story)! I think I've responded to all of your reviews but if I missed you expect a message soon. **

**As you might have imagined the next chapter is the Halloween Party. Three vampires, a werewolf and a human walk into a bar...sounds like the beginning of a bad joke. I guess we'll find out with the next chapter. ;) **


	16. Chapter 15: Scarier Things

**A/N: I figured since I took so long to update I'd reward your patience with two chapters. Hopefully that lets me off the hook just a little bit. Maybe?**

**Stephanie Meyer owns everything Twilight...of course.**

**Scarier Things**

**BPOV **

Walking into a crowded club…on Halloween…with three vampires…_and_ a werewolf was definitely not listed anywhere in my 10 year plan.

The irony of the situation was not lost on me and I honestly didn't understand how any of them could participate in a holiday that glorified some of the worst supernatural stereotypes. Emmett's only concern was what costume he got to wear, Jake enjoyed anything involving free food or candy, and Alice never could turn down the opportunity for a good party. They all seemed content to overlook the overwhelming number of Dracula and Underworld-esque party costumes in favor of the minor perks. I suppose Rosalie and I were the oddities; neither of us fawned over holidays and we both seemed content to be along for the ride.

We'd managed to get into the club without waiting, despite the line of about 25 people trailing along the building. Alice simply strode to the front of the line, smiled, complimented the doorman on his walkie-talkie (I don't even know) and he stepped aside easily without even checking our ID's or marking our hands with those telling black X's. He looked so dumbstruck by Alice I'd have been surprised if he remembered his own name.

Inside the club however, my bubble was soon popped. The instant we stepped inside it was as if someone had screamed 'Fire!' and all eyes snapped to the five of us like we were holding a blowtorch and a box of matches. I'm not talking about Forks High School type staring -Forks residents were used to the Cullen's and only stared out of fascination or morbid curiosity- this was way more intense. People were either watching us warily -with suspicious (even fearful) glances- or leering like horny Tex Avery wolves ready to pounce. Not to mention everyone was in costume so not only was it uncomfortable it was creepy as hell. I mean, have you ever had a room full of Superman's, cowboys, witches, and zombies looking at you like you were their next meal?

I didn't think so.

Alice must have been used to this kind of attention because her smile never faltered and she actually seemed more excited than when we left the house. She did however keep me close, as we navigated through the crowd of staring people to a series of colorful plush seats lining the furthest corner of the wall.

"Geez, you guys really know how to shut down a room." Jake murmured from behind me. He was dressed as Rambo -wearing green cargo pants, a black tank top, a red bandana tied around his head, war paint on his face and a string of plastic bullets draped across his chest. I held in my laughter at the thought that it was strikingly similar to the clothes he normally wore (with the exception of the fake ammo, of course). I was going to have a hard time shaking the image of 'Rambo Jake' from my mind in the weeks to come but frankly the look was perfect for him.

It had taken a little finessing for Alice to get Jake to come with us. Even with their new found civility Jake was straddling a thin line between pack rules and personal relationships. He was adamant that he was only interested in going to "look out for me" so he was able to avoid inquiries about why this was the second time he would be attending a party in the company of vampires.

The pack may have been convinced but I knew that excuse was only half true.

"Ignore them." Rosalie said flatly, looking as if she didn't care either way. Out of all the Cullen's I imagined Rosalie got hassled the most for the way she looked. From the whispers I heard around school I could confidently say that she was the topic of discussion quite frequently, with the male _and _female population of our High School. It wasn't like she did anything to actively command such attention, it was just apart of who she was. All of the Cullen's were attractive (inhumanly so) but Rosalie's beauty was easier to objectify, more aggressive to the senses. And because she was often very cold to strangers most people didn't even bother looking into her personality, thinking that her physical attributes were all she had to offer.

"Bella, do you want something to drink?" Alice asked once I was seated, her eyes gleaming in the vibrant flashing lights, making it impossible for me to say anything but yes.

"Yeah, sure." She beamed, hopping off towards the bar with her ruffled skirt bouncing as she skipped away. Alice was truly living up to her nickname with the sexy-pixie costume she was donning. It was dark blue and backless with a neckline so low it could make a tomato blush. It certainly got me into trouble earlier when Charlie almost caught me staring a bit too intensely at Alice when she came to pick me up. Luckily Alice distracted him before he could question why I was standing there like I'd just swallowed my tongue.

"Hey, what am I invisible?" Jake grumbled walking to catch up with Alice who was already approaching the bar. "She's not the only one who eats."

"Trust me, I know." Alice teased giving Jake a knowing look. "Get whatever you want wolf boy, I've got it covered."

As Alice and Jake ordered I glanced around, finally able to take in the full scene of the place. It was really cool once you got past all the intrusive looks which, by the way, seemed to be waning the longer we were in here. It was colorful and energetic with lots of people and plenty of bass filled music. Faux cobwebs and other cheesy (but suitable) decorations covered most of the walls and ceiling as neon lights beamed around us making me feel like I was part of a haunted 60's laser show. Granted, it wasn't the type of place I would come of my own volition -only if prompted or with Alice- but it was a welcome change from the predictability of Forks.

"Alice said you two have been here before?" I was forced to yell because of how loud the music was, forgetting momentarily that Rosalie would've been able to hear me even if I was talking to her from parking lot. I caught myself halfway through the sentence and quietened.

"Once. Alice likes to dance." Her response was simple and she continued staring off into the crowd, her eyes scanning over the entire scene like a vigilant hawk. I couldn't help thinking she looked like a cop casing the place and I half expected her to be wearing a Detective's uniform instead of the Bonnie and Clyde costume that she and Emmet had coordinated together. I didn't take offense to her distracted patrol-like behavior. I'd gotten used to that sort of hyper-vigilance from her since the crash. When I asked Alice about it she said it was a pride thing. She'd said that Rosalie's pride had been hurt when she wasn't able to protect me, and though I really wished people would quit worrying about me, Rosalie's concern somehow meant so much more than that.

"What about you?" That got her attention as she turned in her seat arching a perfectly sculpted eyebrow in my direction.

"What about me?" Rosalie questioned, though not meanly.

"Why do you like to come here?" The curiosity in my tone was evident.

She stared at me for a moment before her lips twitched nearly imperceptibly at the corners. "I don't like crowds, especially _human _crowds, they're sweaty and permeating with hormones. The combination of the two scents aren't exactly easy on our senses...it makes their blood smell really good." Oh, okay so I just had to remember not to sweat or be hormonal in Rosalie's presence. 'That should be easy,' I thought sardonically. "Plus the music they play is much too modern for my taste." So far she'd only divulged the things she hated but this was still probably one of the longest conversations I'd ever had with Rosalie. And it was the _only_ conversation we'd had where she'd opened up so easily about herself. To say I was surprised would've been a tremendous understatement.

"But..." She continued. "Alice always has a good time and I like to make her happy. I think you can relate, you seem to be pretty good at it." Had it not been for the sincerity in her tone I would have thought she was taking a crack at me, but she honestly seemed to be giving me a compliment… and strangely enough it was about Alice. If I kept a diary I'd have been sure to enter:

**October 31st, Rosalie complimented me…in public!**

**Hell hath truly frozen over.**

**- Bella**

I glanced over at Alice who was laughing with Jake as he tossed a handful of peanuts in the air and caught them all in his mouth. She did look happy and I was happy knowing she was happy. I'd do anything to see her smile.

"No one expects you to be perfect Bella." Her voice had dropped and she was leaning just a fraction closer to me. "Not me, not my family, and certainly not Alice. You don't have to please everyone. We won't cast you out for being who you are." She paused to look over at Alice, her expression was softer than I'd ever seen. "Do you understand what I'm trying to say?" Her golden eyes returned to me and for that brief instance I felt as if she could see straight into me. Into all my doubts, apprehensions and all my motives. Her face held none of the stoicism I was accustomed to, she was just Rosalie and she was giving me the advice I needed to hear the most. I nodded my head mutely to her question and she smiled a smile so genuine I was momentarily in awe of its beauty. When that smile suddenly disappeared, as her stare traveled over my shoulder, I turned to see what had caught her attention. I looked up and my eyes met with two strange men looming over us like dark clouds on a sunny day. One was dressed as a gorilla, but he removed his mask to more effectively leer at us, while the other was dressed as a caveman which was ironically appropriate considering the brutish way that he was invading our space and our conversation.

"Hi there." The caveman spoke staring lecherously at Rosalie, then me. I wasn't sure if it was because he was standing so close or because he'd literally been drinking so much, but he reeked of alcohol. Seriously, it was like the guy had rolled out of bed and into a tub of Jack Daniels. I noticed Rosalie clench Emmett's thigh, who was sitting to her right, to keep him sitting. He was shooting daggers at the two men but they were so preoccupied with ogling us that they seemed not to notice Emmett at all. Which -considering how drunk they appeared- really wasn't that surprising.

Rosalie's demeanor quickly shifted as she stared down the two men with thinly concealed malice. The caveman must've had a death wish because he disregarded her mood, Emmett's existence and my obvious discomfort and continued to talk.

"We saw you sitting over here all alone and thought you could use a little company. " He gestured vaguely to his friend who waggled his eyebrows suggestively and I'm pretty sure I snorted at that, because really, who would open with that line? Not only was it cheesy it wasn't even clever.

Rosalie found absolutely no humor in the situation.

"We're not interested. Turn around and walk away before I make you regret coming over here." They made no move to leave. In fact, they barely even blinked.

Seriously, no one could be that dumb.

"Awww, come on baby. No need to get rough with us…unless you like-" Faster than I could process Emmett was up and standing toe-to-toe with the caveman, towering over him like a skyscraper beside a pop-up tent before another syllable could leave his pale, wet lips. I felt my heart hammering against my chest, nervous of what Emmett might do. He was not a violent man in any sense of the word but two things you never threaten when it comes to Emmett Cullen were: 1) His family and 2) Rosalie Hale..._especially_ Rosalie.

"You do not want to finish that sentence asshole." Emmett's tone was pure venom and his behavior was attracting the nosy stares of the folks sitting at the tables beside us. As he stood over the two cowering men Rosalie positioned herself behind him, placing her hand on his waist to keep him from moving any closer. I couldn't see Emmett's expression but I imagined from their wide eyes and crumbling bravado that it was something akin to a wild wolf baring his teeth.

"If a lady doesn't want to talk to you show her some respect and leave her alone." The two men nodded as they nervously began to back away but Emmett placed a hand on each of their shoulders keeping them from retreating. They squirmed under his tight grip, unable to pull free. "You're lucky I'm such a gentleman otherwise I'd crush your fucking skull, but If I see you harassing my girls or any other lady in this bar I'm gonna…"

I didn't hear the rest. He whispered the threat so lowly only they could hear but I did notice Rosalie grin, her ears likely catching every whispered word. Whatever he said sure seemed to get the point across because the moment he released them they scurried out of the bar like two mice from a cat show.

"I could have handled them, you know." She was still grinning, clearly not bothered by Emmett's intervention.

"I know." Emmett's smile was slow and understanding as he wrapped a possessive arm around her, pulling her in for a kiss, a silent warning to any other man that dare think of approaching her.

"Hey, who were they?" Alice asked curiously as she and Jake returned with a tray full of drinks. They were all Halloween themed and each one was more suspicious looking than the previous one. She placed the tray on the short table in front of me then waited patiently for one of us to answer her question.

I didn't want to tell Alice about those two scumbags, none of us did, it would ruin her mood. And I certainly didn't want Jake's chivalrous instincts to kick in, one angered vampire was more than enough.

"They were just admiring our costumes, which by the way you did and excellent job of helping me with."

Nice cover Bella.

Sure enough Alice lit up like a Christmas tree and I chanced a glance a Rosalie and Emmett, who both smiled gratefully. Her excitement was worth the small white lie.

"See! I told you you'd look good! I wished they'd have stayed longer, I could have told them where I ordered them." She craned her neck around, searching, but the two men were long gone by now. "This is so exciting, we should totally dress up more often." I grinned, unable to conceal my smile at her rambling. She was so cute when she rambled.

"So, I spotted a couple of pool tables in the corner." Emmett changed the subject, looking at Jake and surprising us all with his suddenness. "You wanna knock out a few games? I've never played with a wolf before." He admitted a bit shyly.

"Uhh..." Jake's eyes shifted to me, checking to see if it was some sort of trap and Emmett looked to Rosalie to check that his invitation was okay with her. You'd think two guys as tough as them could make a decision as simple as a game of pool without our permission.

"Sounds good to me." Jake agreed after receiving the 'ok'.

"You coming Rosie? It's not much fun without my cheerleader." The idea that Rosalie could ever hold a title where 'cheer' was the imperative word seemed unlikely. Still she accepted the offer, taking hold of Emmett's hand as they walked toward game area across the room.

"Are you going to try them?" I looked to Alice, then to the tray of roughly 6 beverages and grimaced. Not wanting to disappoint I reached for the least gruesome looking glass. It was green and thick like slime with a fake gummi eyeball speared with a toothpick inside it. I held it under my nose taking a cautious sniff as Alice watched me with an expectant smile.

"Bella, it's not poisonous!" She laughed, urging me to continue. I'm sure I was immune to poisons of any sort after eating Charlie's food. This couldn't be much worse, right? I closed my eyes and took a careful sip.

"So?" Alice asked curiously.

"It's…good." I took another sip, a longer one. It was delicious actually.

"Don't sound so surprised." Alice said trading the drink in my hand for another from the tray. "The bartender said these were the best on the menu tonight. I can't confirm that personally, of course, but I can live vicariously through you."

"So, I'm your test subject?" I titled the next glass to my lips,it was dark and sticky like tar. It wasn't bad but it was way too sweet, I grimaced and handed it back to Alice who examined it momentarily before returning it to the tray.

"No, of course not but you are quite entertaining to watch. Human's are lucky to get so much variety with the things they eat. Everything always looks so…creative it's like art."

"It's called good product marketing." I joked while picking up the next glass. It was filled with a thick dark burgundy liquid and I took a moment to examine it before finally deducing what it was attempting to imitate.

Blood.

"Is this some sort of kinky vampire thing?" I said smiling, my voice was half-whispered and I was leaning in to prevent anyone from overhearing. I was joking of course but for the briefest moment Alice frowned and I immediately sobered.

"Is it?" I questioned a bit more seriously, sounding slightly scandalized. I knew there was a certain degree of arousal involved with vampiric blood-lust, but was watching someone drink blood really a turn-on? Like some kind of bizarre vampire fetish.

"Not exactly." She plucked the glass from my hand and moved it out of my reach to the other end of the table. "I actually didn't mean to order that one. The bartender must've gotten confused." She glowered at the glass as if it was silently mocking her before turning back to me with bright eyes.

"Let's dance!" I blinked quickly. The natural Bella thing to-do would have been to question her about her reaction but she was already pulling me to my feet and we were almost at the edge of the huge crowd of dancing people before I'd even opened my mouth to speak. By the time her body was pressed against mine, moving in time to the music, speech was pretty much impossible and I'd forgotten all about the glass of faux blood sitting back at our table.

I wasn't a good dancer. I mean, slow dancing was easy enough -all you really had to do was sway and try not to step on anyone's toes- but the fast paced, rhythmic movements of the club dancefloor were daunting. Apprehension was just beginning to set in when Alice took my hands in hers guiding them to her waist as her hips moved in time with the beat, pressing into me. The heels she was wearing put us at almost the same height, and I could feel every soft exhalation of her breath sliding down my neck. Her hand mirrored mine on my waist while her hips continued their rhythmic roll into me and without a second thought I followed her lead. If there was one thing I knew how to do, without hesitation or instruction, it was touch Alice and for the next seven songs touching Alice was all I did.

When the exhaustion of my body finally caught up to me Alice noticed and suggested we take a break. I might've whimpered when she pulled away from me to guide us back to our seats, but seriously how could I not? I was so keyed up I was surprised I didn't burst into tears when her hands fell away from me and the coolness of her body was replaced with the thick air of the club.

When we made it back to our table I made a beeline for the tray of drinks, hoping to quench the dryness in my mouth and cool the flush to my skin, but Alice slapped my hand away before I could even make contact with the glass. "What?" I asked, nursing my hand even though she'd done no more than lightly tap it.

She picked up the glass I'd been reaching for and held it under her nose, sniffing at it. Satisfied with her inspection she handed it back to me.

"Thanks?" I said dubiously not sure what I was thanking her for exactly.

"You have to be careful. People do crazy things when they think no one's watching."

"Oh." I said, suddenly realizing her cause for suspicion. I guess I'd been living in Forks too long. That everybody-knows-everybody mentality was becoming ingrained in my sense of self-preservation. I took a long swallow of the drink, draining the glass as Alice watched with a pleased expression. When I was finished she lifted her index to wipe away a smear. Her finger lingered on my bottom lip tracing the curve of it with her thumb, then without any warning she leaned forward locking her lips with mine. Surprise froze me for exactly 3 seconds before I instinctively returned the gesture, my body reacting to her actions automatically before my mind could begin to over analyze it. Her tongue slipping into my mouth, however, catapulted me out of my Alice induced haze and back into the reality of the situation. Dancing was one thing but making out in the middle of a crowded club unsurfaced fears I couldn't overlook.

I leaned back managing to put a few inches between us. "Here?"

Alice's smile was playful as she asked, "Why not?"

I shifted uncomfortably looking around to see who might have seen us. There was a table of three women across from us who kept looking over their shoulders with amused smiles and I blushed under the scrutiny of their stares.

"Are you uncomfortable?" She asked, noticing my distraction.

"No. It's just...someone might see us. Someone we know." I was a bit ashamed to admit that it mattered to me.

Her face flashed with understanding. "Trust me, no one will recognize us here. Why do you think Rose and I come all the way to Port Angeles just to go dancing? Sometimes it's nice to be in a room full of strangers." I thought about it. She was right. It was the public relationship I'd been hoping for without all the backlash I was afraid of dealing with. It wouldn't be this way always but, for now, it would do just fine.

"Okay."

"Sure?" She asked cautiously.

This time I initiated the kiss. It was modest and admitedly a bit nervous because I was still overtly aware of the eyes that may, or may not, have been on us. I pulled back before I began to lose myself -not wanting to give any of the people around us a free show- and touched my head to Alice's. I'd never trusted or been so preoccupied with pleasing someone like I was with Alice. She challenged me to do things I'd normally shy away from. Alice gave me the courage to just _be_.

"What?" She asked smiling up at me, obviously sensing I was thinking about something.

"Nothing."

"You know, this is the third time this week you've had that look like you want to say something but don't."

"I was just thinking...oh, no!"

"You're were thinking 'Oh, no?' That doesn't really make any sense Bella." She giggled.

"No...I lost my bracelet, the one Jake gave me. It must've slipped off." I dropped to the chairs searching around our sitting area and under the small table. It had to be around here somewhere but with all these people and no proper lighting it was unlikely that I'd find it. "I can't believe I lost it."

"It's okay." Alice reassured, offering me her hand and pulling me up from the floor. "It probably fell off when we were dancing. I'll go find it." Alice took off back towards the dancefloor and took a seat as I waited for her to return.

"Hello." I didn't notice him until he spoke, his voice was way too close to my ear and his cool breath sent a shiver down my spine. I jumped about three inches out of my chair, clutching my hand to my chest.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you." His tone was slow, almost teasing, and he took a single step back out of my personal space.

"I'd believe you a lot more if you didn't creep up on me like that." I accused, bitter about looking like a scared little girl in front of a total stranger.

He held his hands up in surrender. "You're right. My manners are a little rusty. I don't often find myself in social situations and I think I've forgotten how to approach people." I relaxed a bit at his explanation, feeling a little bad for biting the man's head off earlier.

"It's okay." My tone was still a bit suspicious and I studied him closely to get a better opinion of him. The red and blue flannel shirt he was wearing was ripped and stained with patches of dirt and mud, his jeans were in slightly better shape but still looked very worn. However, the brown leather jacket, aviator glasses and black leather boots he wore seemed to be relatively new. It had to be one of the most ambiguous costumes I'd ever seen. I wasn't sure what he was supposed to be. A lumberjack-model-pilot-biker? And who wears sunglasses indoors at a club? It was dark enough in here without tinted glasses and I would be surprised if he didn't stumble into something when he walked.

"I didn't mean to disturb you. I just couldn't help myself. Something tells me you're the type of person I would really enjoy talking to." His modest smile turned into a smirk that for some reason put me on edge. "I'm James. What's your name?"

**A/N: I'm sure this is riddled with typos and mistakes but please bear with me. I'll fix it soonish.**


	17. Chapter 16: Scarier Things, Part 2

**Scarier Things (Part 2)**

**_"I didn't mean to disturb you. I just couldn't help myself. Something tells me you're the type of person I would really enjoy talking to." His modest smile turned into a smirk that for some reason put me on edge. "I'm James. What's your name?"_**

"Bella." My reply was curt so as not to encourage any extensive chit-chat with the guy. He was being nice enough but there was a feeling in the pit of my stomach that felt like a warning. As if being in his company was somehow dangerous.

"Bella? That is a very nice name for a very beautiful woman." The music from the sound systems surged louder as he spoke and he stepped just a bit closer under the pretense of being more audible. "Would you like to take a walk with me Bella? It's very noisy in here and I'd really like to get to know you somewhere more…private."

"No, I'm actually here with my friends." I said looking past him and spotting Alice weaving through the crowd, her eyes downcast as she searched.

"I'll have you back before they even know you're gone." He was pushy and he seemed a little irritated by my reluctance to follow him.

"I think my girlfriend would notice." The 'fuck-off' in my tone was unmistakable. I didn't want this guy thinking there was any possibility that I'd be interested in going anywhere alone with him.

"Girlfriend?" His eyes followed my line of sight to Alice and his eyebrows shot up to his hairline. "Oh, my." It's hard to explain the look that crossed his face in that moment. It was part disgust, part amusement, part intrigue. It was like watching a mood ring morph from one color to the next.

Behind him I noticed Alice bend down and pick something from the floor; she held up the small chain triumphantly a second later before making her way back through the crowd. Suddenly, as if sensing her return, James was in a hurry to be anywhere but here. "Well, it was nice meeting you Bella. I'm sure we'll be seeing each other around real soon and maybe then I can cash in on that walk."

"Not likely." I mumbled as he disappeared into the crowd.

We left a few hours later. Emmett and Jake had finally tired of Rosalie embarrassing them in pool, darts and pretty much every other game they could find -apparently she was a far better player than she was a cheerleader- and Alice and I (mostly I) were getting tired. I fell asleep on Alice's lap on the drive back and awoke to the sound of the engine cutting off as Emmett pulled in front of my house. Charlie's cruiser was parked in the driveway and the living room lights were on so I knew my dad was home. I headed inside after saying goodbye to everyone, hearing Jake's bike rumble down the street a few seconds before Emmett's Jeep took off. Alice had discreetly given me a kiss on the cheek before hopping into the massive white truck and I walked inside with an unwavering smile.

I could tell Charlie had been waiting up for me when I walked inside. He was asleep in his recliner and the tv was set to a station showing a late night infomercial for some sort of "Magic Mop." I threw a blanket over him and cut the television off before making my way up to my room.

I wasn't surprised when I shuffled up the steps and pushed my bedroom door open to find Edward sitting in the corner rocking chair. It was his night to play security guard and I was already expecting him to be there.

He didn't turn when I entered, he didn't do anything more than stare out the window with his chin rested in his palm.

"Hey." I said slowly and quietly as if rushing the words would throw him off balance.

"Hello." His reply was just as simple as mine. We didn't say anything else to each other as I changed into my pajamas, brushed my teeth and then climbed into bed. The silence didn't feel awkward or tense, it was a familiar discomfort like the sting of an alcohol swab against a fresh cut or the burn of a match held too long. He'd essentially become like a piece of furniture in my life -silent, inert, only functioning when needed- and when it was just the two of us it became undeniably clear that our relationship was rotting from the core like a decaying apple.

I didn't want that.

I'd never wanted that but I was tumbling down the rabbit-hole now and there was little I could do to stop it.

"Goodnight." I said out of habit, chancing a glance at him though he made no movements and gave no sign of hearing me. I sighed turning onto my side and pulling the cord of my bedside lamp, plummeting the room into darkness as I waited for sleep to overtake me.

...

...

...

"You were right...Alice and that fucking human girl are together. I never imagined she'd stoop so low." Victoria's scowl was deep as James recanted what he'd witnessed with a repulsed frown. "But Victoria, this girl is different. She was traveling with a wolf tonight and Alice barely let her out of her sight for two seconds, and her scent...it was incredible. We shouldn't be too quick to harm her, at the very least a human with a smell that intense would make a interesting toy for our coven and you have to admit we haven't had such an appetizing meal in a while." His smile was wicked.

"Just remember why we're here. I can't afford to have you distracted. I want you and Riley to deal with the human. Laurent and I will handle Alice. Keep her alive until I tell you otherwise and be careful of the boyfriend...he's a telepath."

**A/N: Okay, so things will definitely be heating up soon. I wanted to give our protagonists one last night of fun before *le shit hits the fan.* Please direct any questions, comments, or suggestions to my PM or review box. :) Let me know what you think!**

**Shout outs...**

**Arden: I'm glad you're enjoying it so far! I hope to keep you interested. And I totally agree that Alice is a faaaaarrrr better choice for Bella. ;)**

**Aeonus: I'm so happy you returned to it! I love that you still even remembered my story. That's awesome!**

**Conquerer12: You have no idea how huge of a compliment that is. :) Thanks man! I think I get what you're saying about Alice being older and wiser. Do you want more age dynamics between Bella and Alice? Like for it to be apart of the development of their relationship?**

**And big cyber hug to everyone else who reviewed! Don't be shy, push that blue button.**


	18. Chapter 17: Pursuit of Happiness

**Not much to say other than...Enjoy!**

**Pursuit of Happiness**

"We shouldn't be together anymore." I froze, coming to a stop somewhere between the doorway of my room and the hallway. Drops of water fell freely from my hair and the towel I'd been using to dry it hung limply in my hand as I stared blankly at Edward. He was sitting in the same spot he'd been in when I went to sleep, hunched forward with his head in his hands.

"Huh?" It wasn't the most dignified response I could've come up with but it was pretty much all I could manage after exiting the shower and being completely ambushed. I'd just finished washing the sweat of last night down the drain and I'd barely brushed the sleep from my eyes. It was way too early to be having this conversation.

"Don't make me say it again. It was hard enough the first time." He lifted his head to finally look directly at me, but his eyes fell down to my towel-covered body after a few seconds. He was standing a moment later with a tee-shirt and a pair of shorts outstretched to me. "Do you mind getting dressed first?" I nodded dumbly, quickly slipping into the clothes as he turned around to give me a bit of privacy. The shirt clung to my dampened skin uncomfortably but I ignored it, more interested in what he was talking about than the slight discomfort. When I was dressed he guided me to the bed and pushed me to sit, while he continued standing...or pacing.

"We're not working…are we?" The way he said it made it seem like we were two broken toys that had run out of battery power. Then again, in a way, maybe we were exactly like broken toys. I only wish fixing us was as simple as buying a pack of Duracell's at the grocery store.

"No. We're not." I confirmed quietly. I'd planned this moment out a million times in my head, down to every specific detail, but I'd never suspected it would be Edward that would begin this separation. To some extent I was relieved that it was him and not me who'd finally chosen to comment on the elephant in the room but another, smaller, part of me felt bad for allowing this charade to go on for so long. This was such a fucking mess and now, on top of everything, I was forcing Edward to clean it up.

He clutched at his hair desperately upon hearing my confirmation. His eyes, though a rich golden, looked weary and the posture of his body matched his exhausted expression. He finally took a seat, returning to the rocking chair in front of my bedroom window.

"Edward?" I questioned, after waiting nearly a minute for him to say something to no avail.

"Be with Alice." The command was spoken so softly I almost fell off the edge of the bed leaning in to hear him. There was no way I'd heard him correctly, right? I must've gotten too much water in my ears in the shower.

However, when he continued speaking I knew I'd heard him right the first time.

"Don't stay with me because it's easier or because you feel obligated. I don't want to be your obligation Bella. I want to be your first choice and everyone knows I'm not. Alice knows, Rosalie knows, Jasper knew…even Jacob Black knows." His fists tightened at the mention of Jacob's name and the first signs of anger passed across his face. Jacob knowing was probably far more humiliating than he would ever admit. "I thought I could handle you being with her as long as you didn't push me away. As long as we were still together I thought there was possibility you'd change your mind but this denial and emotional disconnect is so much more painful and embarrassing. You're not doing me or yourself any favors by staying with me."

He was right.

I lowered my head when I felt my eyes begin to sting with the threat of tears. "I'm sorry." I had no idea what I was apologizing for. Sorry for cheating on you? Sorry for letting you love me? Sorry for just generally being a shit girlfriend? After all I'd put him through those two words just seemed so hollow. At the end of the day 'I'm sorry' was just something people said to make themselves feel less guilty for having said nothing at all.

"Don't be sorry. Be honest. Tell me what you want…what you really want. Tell me you don't want to be with me anymore and I'll back off." His eyes held a glimmer of hope, a piece of him still clinging to the idea that this was all some tragic dream I could shake him from.

I continued staring down at my hands, nervously twisting Jake's bracelet around my wrist before I took a deep breath and whispered the most honest thing I could think of telling him. "I love her." My voice cracked at the finality of the words I'd spoken and when I felt two drops hit my forearm I knew it wasn't the water dripping from my hair.

A dejected sigh was his only response.

"I love you too." I was surprised by how easy it was to let those words escape my lips and I glad that I didn't have to lie when I said them. I knew he wouldn't misread what I said. He understood the type of love I was referring to just as well as he understood it would never compare to what I felt for Alice. Still, they were the only words that would give him back the strength he was flailing to hold onto and the only words that could help mend the wounds to his pride. Edward may have been heartbroken now but he'd find a way to move on because he didn't need me. Edward wanted me, Jacob -at one point- wanted me but Alice needed me and it was such an unbelievable feeling to be desired that intensely. I understood the feeling well because I needed Alice too. I needed her near me, I needed her voice, her laugh, her hands on me but most of all I need her loving me.

"I know you do." His smile was sad as he moved from his chair to sit beside me on the bed, embracing me tightly under his arm. I wrapped my arms around his stone torso, pulling him as close as my strength would allow as the tears came more frequently.

Yet no matter how tightly I hugged, I couldn't shake the feeling that it still felt like letting go.

It still felt like the beginning of a long goodbye.

**X/X/X/X/X **

**APOV**

"Alice, are you even listening to me?" When I didn't respond her voice came through the receiver even more panicked than previously. "Just wait…fucking wait for us to get there, okay? We can be there in five minutes. Don't go anywhere." I could hear frantic mumbling in the background and I knew she was with the rest of my family.

"I can't wait Rose. This might be my only shot to talk to her and I'm not going to lose it."

"Alice don't be stupid, it's a trap!" I canceled the call and tossed my phone into the passenger seat as Rosalie's final words rang in my ear. I knew it was a trap, of course I did, but I didn't care. The vision had been brief but it was the only useful vision I'd received of Victoria since she came to Forks and I had to follow it if I ever planned on finding her. I had no doubt that Rosalie would find me, along with the rest of my family, but I needed to talk to Victoria alone before they arrived. If there was any possibility that I could convince her to leave willingly I wanted to take it before anyone intervened or got hurt. Victoria's power wasn't one to be taken lightly. She was older and stronger than any other vampire I knew, with the exception of Carlisle and Esme, and she was ten times as reckless.

My yellow Audi R8 was a blur down the highway before I skidded to a rough stop along the roadside. As soon as the engine was off I was out of the driver's seat, cutting through the forest and towards the cliffside that was present in my vision. I instantly recognized the location as the spot where the pack came to cliff dive and I knew I was close to La Push territory. A few more meters to my right and I could've breached the treaty line so I was careful of every step I took. I paused just short of the cliff edge as the ocean mist sprayed up from below, making the air foggy and dampening my clothes.

It was silent, besides the sound of the ocean below, too quiet for me to feel even remotely at ease. I turned in circles, searching for the flash of red curls I'd witnessed in my vision but I saw no one even though I could sense eyes on me and smell the faint scent of another vampire. I was sure that wasn't alone despite all visual evidence hinting otherwise.

A rustling to my left caught my attention and a half second later I was shoved to the ground by a force so strong that -had I been human- would've killed me. My arms were harshly pinned beside my head as my assailant straddled my waist, pushing me into the forest floor. Hesitantly, I opened my eyes staring up into crimson eyes I'd hoped, for years, never to see again.

It was her.

Victoria's hair fell in a fiery curtain around my head as she smiled down at me teasingly. Everything about her was so maddeningly unchanged -her scent, her aggression, even her smile- it was like 1922 all over again and I scowled at the grim reminder of a past I never wanted to have.

"That doesn't look like happiness to see me." She said, clicking her tongue at me. The silky, yet low, alto of her voice made every muscle in my body tense and I squirmed beneath her iron grip, struggling in vain to break free. "Come on, Miss Brandon I know you can be more cordial than that. Especially for an old friend." Eager to regain my control over the situation I shot my knee into her abdomen, effectively dislodging her. The surprise on her face lasted approximately 1 second before she spun in the air landing gracefully on her feet with a self-satisfied smile. Finally free, I jumped to my feet crouching defensively in front of her.

"You've gotten stronger." She sounded impressed but her expression revealed an arrogance that clearly wasn't threatened by my strength. "And you hair is different." She tilted her head to the side examining me approvingly. "I like it. It's so…modern."

"If I wanted to take a walk down memory lane I'd pull out an old photo album. So lets skip the small talk and you tell me what the hell you're doing here?" My tone was callous and my expression was cold as I stared down my former coven leader. Years ago I would have been sacred shitless to so much as scoff in Victoria's direction, but this was a different time and so much more than my hairstyle had changed over the years.

She frowned at my tone, crossing her arms over her chest as she watched me through narrowed eyes. "I'm not sure I like the boldness in your tone Alice. I suggest you take caution in who you challenge with that attitude. There is a thin line between bravery and stupidity." She took a small, challenging, step forward and I took two steps backward to avoid her advance on me. The black denim jeans, simple white v-neck and black jacket she wore made her appear so…ordinary. On the streets she'd hardly stand out as the destructive, psychotic, vampire that she was. There was only one thing stood out to me; it was a branded scar on the inside of her wrist that was exposed as her sleeves bunched up. It was unlike Jasper's scars, which were mostly bites from his time spent training newborns, instead this mark seemed intentional.

Maybe she had finally pissed off the wrong vampire and got the beating she deserved?

"Enough Vic." Without vampire sight I might not have noticed the brief way her expression softened at the use of the nickname but I did notice and she immediately concealed the look beneath another scowl. "What do you want?"

"Don't pretend you don't already know baby-doll." She looked offended that I'd even asked. "Do you think I traveled all the way here because I enjoy the Washington foliage? I came here for you, Alice. And in the spirit of being frank I'd appreciate it if you try not to act surprised."

She was right. I wasn't surprised.

In fact I'd been anticipating that answer from the moment I first heard of her presence in Forks. Victoria was the type of person that always finished what she started. I was like an investment to her -a loose end that needed to be tied- and as long as I was 'alive' she planned on cashing in on me.

"Why now? Why show up after all these years? Did you just get bored one day and decide to track me down?" By this point I was growing angrier with each question forming in my mind. I had a life here and people I cared about. Victoria being here was threatening everything I'd worked so hard to create and keep safe. "Why go after my family when they've got nothing to do with any of this?"

"You can't be so naïve to think that they have nothing to do with this. This isn't who you are Alice, this is the persona you've invented to feel better about the things you've done. Deep down you know you don't belong here, they can never understand you the way we do."

"You're wrong." I wish my voice held even an ounce of the conviction I'd intended it to. I wish my eyes hadn't shown every insecurity and doubt lingering in my mind, but most of all I wish Victoria hadn't noticed.

"Am I?" She began walking forward until there were only a few feet separating us and I didn't back away. I couldn't back away. She had me locked where I stood, unable to refuse her, unable to keep myself from feeling inherently connected to her. The thought sickened me to the point of nausea but I couldn't shake the fact that she had gotten under my skin…literally and figuratively.

"You have to leave Vic. You'll ruin everything…please, don't do this to me." There it was. The pleading in my tone, that familiar submissive tendency I adopted whenever Victoria was around. Maybe she was right? Maybe I was just fruit from a poison tree, doomed to always have my roots lead right back to her.

We were only a foot apart now and her hand was resting on my shoulder. "What will I ruin? That farce of a romance you have with that human girl?" She scoffed disgustedly. "Are you really that desperate to remember what it's like to feel human that you'd choose a her as your mate? Do you even understand the mistake you're making by even speaking to her? You'd have been better off with that empath boyfriend of yours. At least he was a vampire. I'm sure he can't be too happy to see you so enthralled with a human girl." Her frown was reprimanding but the mention of Bella and Jasper had unearthed a defiance inside me, an emotion that was raw and eager for retribution and unwilling to be scolded by her words. Memories of Bella and Jasper ignited in my mind, reminding me of who I was and my feelings for Bella reminded me of the vampire I wasn't.

"What would you know about happiness? You're a heartless bitch who has done nothing but make everyone around you miserable." I slapped her hand away from me as I backed away. The anger in my tone was palpable and for the first time since we began this reunion Victoria actually looked bothered. No, correction, she looked...hurt.

I didn't understand.

Victoria didn't get hurt. She was a statue, a wall, a vacuum of emotion. She wasn't capable of feeling or caring, everything she did had an ulterior motive behind it. I wasn't going to be fooled by her behavior, I remembered all the pain she'd caused and I wanted her out of my life for good this time.

"Alice?" I turned around at the sound of the familiar voice yelled from behind me. That was Esme's voice and from the proximity of the approaching footsteps I knew she was close and she wasn't alone.

When I returned my eyes back to Victoria she had moved a considerable distance away from me, balancing on the very edge of the cliff.

"Stop!" I moved towards her but froze halfway when she hung one foot over the edge threatening to jump.

"Stop. Go. Leave. Stay. Make up your mind Alice." She rolled her eyes in exasperation. "You can believe what you want about me but you should know that I'm the only one on _your_ side. If you really wanted to guarantee the safety of your 'family' you wouldn't continue to put them in the middle of this. Remember that the next time we run into each other because I can promise things will get very messy for you if you don't leave with me." She didn't leave me any time to ask what the hell she was talking about before she dove over the edge and into the turbulent waters below. By the time I reached the edge she'd completely disappeared from view, swallowed up by the waves.

Resisting the urge to dive in after her I stared numbly at the waters, listening vaguely as footsteps grew nearer and nearer until Esme's arms were draped around my neck, hugging me desperately.

"Oh sweetie, what were you thinking?" The emotional heaviness of Esme's voice carried a sadness only a concerned parent could produce and it wounded me knowing I was the cause for her distress.

"I'm so sorry mom. I didn't mean to make you worry." Seeing my mom cry, especially over me, was an experience I could go forever never witnessing. I returned the vice-like embrace she had on me as she patted my head affectionately. Over her shoulder I watched Emmett, Rose and Carlisle peer over the edge of the cliff, searching for any signs of Victoria in the water below. The displeased expressions the three of them wore was answer enough that she was gone.

Again.

Suddenly Rosalie was charging towards me, fuming as she pushed me hard enough that I stumbled backwards out of Esme's hold, falling into a tree. "Do you have a death wish or something? You can't keep taking these kind of risks as if this is all some fucking game! This woman is dangerous and you're not strong enough to take her on alone." She was livid and I hung my head, to shamed to look at the resenting sadness in her eyes.

"I think you've made you point Rose." Carlisle placed a calming hand on her shoulder, pulling her away from me. She backed off but continued glaring as she struggled to keep silent about her frustrations. "Alice understands what she did was wrong. Don't you Alice?" He cast a questioning glance in my direction and I nodded earnestly.

"Good." Carlisle smiled forgivingly. He was never one to kick us when we were down, especially if we accepted that we'd made a mistake.

Rosalie on the other hand had no such sentiments. "Good?" Rosalie asked in disbelief earning all of our immediate attention. "She could've been killed and that's all anyone's going to say?" She pointed an accusing finger at me as her voice grew louder and more annoyed. She had every right to be upset. I'd been putting her at the center of a lot of my drama lately, especially when it came to Bella, and she'd supported me through it all. I'd been so preoccupied with my own shit that I'd never even taken the time to thank her for looking out for me. I was being foolish and ungrateful and now Rosalie was finally expressing the frustrations she deserved to feel.

"It's okay Rosie she's fine." Emmett spoke softly, attempting to calm his clearly pissed off mate.

"Well,_ I'm_ not fine. I'm sick of this kamikaze bullshit and I'm going home." She shook off the hand Emmett had placed on her shoulder and brushed by me harshly as she headed back the direction she'd come. Emmett gave me a sympathetic smile as he trailed along after her.

"Don't worry about Rosalie. She'll calm down eventually, we're just glad that that Victoria woman didn't hurt you." Esme said watching Emmett and Rose leave.

"Yeah…me too." I was probably the only person in the world Victoria had never hurt…at least not physically. I wasn't sure what made me so special. Why was I the exception to hundreds of other people who'd met their end at her hands?

"Do you have any idea how long she plans on remaining in Washington?" There hadn't been anymore attacks in Forks since the two men were killed at the docks a few weeks ago, but Seattle was teeming with news reports of missing or mauled persons from the area. Carlisle, like the rest of us, was concerned that she'd compromise our lifestyle here if she didn't remain inconspicuous to the humans. We hadn't been forced to leave a location since 11 years ago when Jasper tackled a kid who got a nosebleed during his P.E. class. Luckily Emmett had been there to stop him from doing any irreparable damage but there was no way we could stay at that school after Jasper had literally licked the blood off his face. It was a good thing people already thought Jasper was weird otherwise they might have looked for other explanations for why someone would be drinking blood.

"She won't leave until she gets what she came here for." After talking to her I knew she had no intention of leaving quietly or making any compromises. I'd reluctantly accepted that we'd have to kill her to make her stop coming after me.

"Well, what does she want?" That question came from a clearly worried Esme.

I swallowed thickly before I could force myself to answer. "She wants me."

**X/X/X/X/X**

**BPOV**

"Bella, wake up." I hadn't even intended on falling asleep. I guess crying into your ex's shoulder for 20 minutes straight can really exhaust a person. As I slowly stirred awake I noticed the alarm in Edward's eyes and immediately adrenaline rushed through my body dispelling any traces of exhaustion.

"What is it?" My voice mirrored the panic reflected on his face as I sat up straight on the bed.

"Call my house and tell everyone to come here right now." The urgency in his tone only escalated my owns fears. If Edward was afraid of whatever was going on what chance did I stand? He was an immortal, mind-reading, vampire with super strength and speed and I was just an 18 year old teenager who could barely sharpen a pencil without giving myself lead poisoning.

"Edward what's wrong, you're scaring me."

His next words sent my heart to my throat and all color drained from my face. "There's someone outside." The dread was heavy on his face as he cast a glance at my bedroom window. "Please just do what I'm asking you."

He didn't give any more instructions before he blurred around my room moving furniture to form a blockade in front of my bedroom door. He had to know as well as I did that no amount of armoires, desks, or chairs would stop a vampire from getting inside but I suppose it could slow one down for a few seconds. At the very least maybe the vampire would be so impressed by my matching laminated oak furniture set he'd forget all about wanting to kill me.

Maybe?

Edward placed his hands on either side of my face once he was finished, drawing my attention back to him. "I won't let anyone hurt you. I_ love_ you." Those words and a single kiss to my lips was all he did before jumping out my window and onto the front lawn.

Why did he have to say that? That was the kind of thing people always said in movies right before something terrible happened.

Following his instructions, I snatched my phone off my nightstand and pounded speed dial #3 for the Cullen's home phone. Much to my dismay there was no answer and the line promptly went to voicemail after only three rings.

"It's Bella! Please come to my house quick, I think Edward and I are in danger." I hung up and quickly selected speed dial #1, Alice. By the second ring I knew she wasn't going to answer but what I didn't understand was why? Why the hell was no one answering their damn phones! What were they doing that was so important? This was an emergency and the only people I could rely on to help me couldn't even be contacted.

As I clutched the phone in my fist helplessly it suddenly dawned on me the last resource I had. It only took one ring before he answered.

"Hey Bells! You miss me already?" Jake's voice was cheerful as he answered..

"Jake! I-I don't know what to do! There's s-someone outside and Edward j-just..." I was tripping over nearly every word as I hurriedly tried to explain the situation, but luckily it didn't take much for Jake to understand me."

"I'm on my way." I heard shuffling in the background before the line went dead. I was relieved to know he was coming but I just hoped he made it here in time.

I ran to the window to check on Edward and my eyes widened as I noticed another person was indeed outside my house. He was about 6 feet tall, with short dirty blonde hair and he looked to be close to my age. He was wearing an ash gray denim button-up with black slacks and his eyes were locked solidly on Edward standing in front of him. I couldn't see his face clearly from my window but, if the stillness of his body or the paleness of his skin was any indication, I was sure he was a vampire...and not one of the friendly ones.

"I don't know why you're here or what you want and I don't want to fight, but I can assure you I will kill anyone who tries to lay a hand on her." Edward's voice was calm but authoritative and for a moment I entertained the notion that perhaps the situation wouldn't become violent. However, the sudden growl that emanated from Edward's chest vanished any hopes of peace.

"So, you really can read minds. That's a pretty neat trick." Whatever was in the man's thoughts had infuriated Edward so much that his body was literally vibrating with anger. "I think it's really chivalrous of you to want to protect her but honestly you couldn't stop us even if you tried." Within seconds of that sentence Edward and the other vampire were colliding into a tangled blur of fists. Snarls and the ear splitting impact of vampire muscle colliding shook the house as if the entire foundation would crumble. I watched in horror as Edward lifted the man by his neck and smashed him through our cement walkway like rag doll into a sandbox. While he was down Edward unleashed a jackhammer of punches into his face and chest, burying him deeper and deeper into the pavement with every blow as chunks of cement and dirt flew through the air. Edward's expression was savage, his teeth were bared and every muscle in his body looked tight and exploding with energy.

I expected Edward's attack to at least incapacitate the man for a few minutes but he was back on his feet in an instant, delivering a shattering blow to Edward's face that sent him flying backwards. I screamed helplessly as he attempted to follow-up his assault with a kick to Edward's chest but Edward expertly dodged the attack, catching the man's leg mid-air and sending his fist straight into his temple with an audible crack. The other vampire was strong but his fighting method was impulsive and Edward took advantage of every ill-conceived attack, dodging and matching nearly each move with precision and force. The man must have realized he was in a losing battle around the same time I did because suddenly, as if fueled by his frustrations, he was moving quicker and smarter. The two of them were hardly visible at the speed they were moving at but I could still hear every jab and kick and not knowing who was on the receiving end of each blow sent fear through my entire body.

I felt more helpless than I had ever felt in my entire life. I was watching some stranger pound his fists into someone I loved and there was nothing I could do to stop it. The same man that had saved me from being crushed under Tyler's van was being kicked across my front lawn like a hacky sac no more than 12 feet away and the only aid I could offer him was my hope and optimism.

I'm not sure how it happened, it only took a second, but Edward was no longer in control of the fight. The other vampire had somehow managed to wrestle his way behind Edward twisting him into a headlock. Edward clawed at his face leaving deep ragged scratches in the man's marble flesh, yet he still refused to relinquish his grip on Edward's neck. Edward strained against the man's pull and a pained whine escaped his lips as he tried in vain to pry the iron grip of the vampire's arms from around his neck.

His eyes were terrified and the reality of what I was witnessing hit me like steel freight train.

Oh my god, he was going to kill him!

Before my mind could even process what my body was doing I was tearing through every piece of furniture blocking my door, looking for an escape. Looking for a way to get to Edward. My vision was watery and I wiped at my eyes distractedly, not even understanding why I was crying.

Don't cry, that's what people do before something terrible happens.

I was going to help him.

I removed the last piece of furniture and swung my door open so hard I thought the hinges would give.

I was going to help him!

I ran down the stairs and to my front door but as I pulled it open the face that greeted me in my doorway sunk all my plans to make it out of this house and crushed every ounce of hope and optimism I'd been clutching onto. My mouth went dry and my knees shook as blood red eyes stared back into mine.

"So nice to see you again Bella. Have you changed your mind about taking that walk with me?"


	19. Chapter 18: Memories and Motives

**A/N: Hey folks, thanks for being so patient. Hope you're enjoying the story so far.**

**Oh btw, flashbacks are in_ italics_. **

**Motives and Memories**

**BPOV**

_"So nice to see you again Bella. Have you changed your mind about taking that walk with me?"_

I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move, I couldn't speak. I wanted to run, or scream for the help that I knew wasn't coming, but all I could do was stare into those ruby red eyes that spelled death for anyone unlucky enough to see them.

"W-who are you?" I couldn't help the stutter that emerged in my voice. My heart was hammering and my entire body trembled like an unbalanced washing machine ready to tip over. I recognized him immediately from the club last night, even though he was no longer wearing those ridiculous sunglasses and in the natural light of day he was far paler than he'd appeared in the dim light of the club.

He was a vampire.

How long had he been stalking me? Was his name even James and why did that name suddenly sound so…familiar?

"Oh come on Bella. It's only been 10 hours and a face like mine is pretty hard to forget." He smiled arrogantly, running his tongue over his teeth like a panther ready to devour it's prey. I finally found my nerve to move away but I didn't make it two feet before he was grabbing my arms and holding me in place.

"Don't. Move." He commanded slowly, firmly, as his eyebrows dipped into an agitated frown.

Oh great, now I pissed him off.

"I'm not afraid of you." I lied. Of course I was afraid, I was fucking petrified but I didn't want him to know that. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing me cower and beg for mercy. If this asshole was going to kill me the least I could do was pretend to be brave.

He must've saw my nose growing because he looked entirely unconvinced by my mustered bravado.

"You're lying." He accused smugly, leaning in to graze his nose against my neck and brazenly inhaling the scent of blood rushing under my skin. I stiffened as an entirely new feeling, something akin to being violated, washed over me. This complete stranger was sniffing me and keeping me restrained in a grip so tight I worried he'd cut the circulation between my shoulders and hands, yet there was nothing I could do to stop him. Helplessness was a feeling far worse than fear, and given the option I'd settle for fear any day.

From my place in the doorway I could just barely make out Edward weakly attempting to stand from the ground. James was blocking part of my view but I could see (and hear) enough to tell that he was still alive, but for how much longer I didn't know. His clothes were ripped and covered in debris and his body was badly beaten but he was still in one piece. Physically he was defeated but their was a defiance in him that was stronger than his body.

Edward had finally steadied himself on his feet when he was promptly knocked back to the ground with a punch to the chest. The collision sent vibrations through the house, disrupting knick knacks and dishes from their shelves which shattered as they smashed onto the floor. The other vampire wasn't even trying to kill him anymore, he was sickly enjoying seeing Edward in pain. I tried to pull away, struggling to break the hold James had on me, but it was pointless.

"Whoa, calm down my sweet Bella. Riley will take good care of your boyfriend, there's no need to get all excited." His words were teasing and made me wish, more than anything, that I could slap the arrogant smirk off his face.

"What…do you want?" My voice was strained, partly from the pain of his grip but mostly from the frustration of being unable to help Edward or myself.

"Me? Hmm..." He'd stopped smirking but I didn't feel any more at ease. It bothered me that he was thinking so intently about my question and I was beginning to think it was an answer I'd rather not hear.

"I just want to play Bella."

**APOV**

I saw it the moment it happened.

Bella and Edward's future simultaneously went black like two candles being extinguished in a windowless room. The shock of the disconnect was so clear I could practically _feel_ it, as if a part of me was slowly being amputated. I tried to replay the vision again in my mind, hoping to see a spark of light or some kind of change, but there was only darkness. Any psychic can tell you that the last thing you ever want to see in someone's future is nothing at all.

I forced myself up from the ground, just then realizing that in my distraction my feet had missed the steps I was aiming for and I'd fallen. It took me a moment to recall where I was but, slowly, I regained focus on the house in front of me, my house. Carlisle was paused in the doorway, holding the door open as he watched Esme walk back down the porch steps towards me.

"What did you see?" Esme asked, offering me a hand to help me up. I frowned, unable -or unwilling- to voice what I'd witnessed. Maybe it was just a 'precognitive' false alarm? After all, the presence of a wolf always screwed up my ability to properly foresee things. Maybe Jake was visiting Bella which is why I couldn't see her or Edward?

Yet, something didn't feel right.

Something was very very wrong, and even though I was trying to quell the panic rising in my stomach with wishful thinking it wasn't working. I could tell by the way Esme's expression dropped that she could see the fear on my face before any words ever left my lips.

"Something's wrong. I-I can't see them anymore."

"Can't see who, honey?" Esme asked, eying me worriedly.

"It's Bella and Edward!" I looked up at the sound of Rosalie's voice, taking a small step backwards just in case any of the anger on her face and in her tone was reserved for me. Rose wasn't exactly known for her forgiving nature but after a few moments it became clear that our fight earlier was the furthest thing from her mind. I didn't know how she knew about Bella and Eward but at the moment that didn't matter.

"Where are they?" I asked.

"Bella's house."

I'm running before I even consciously realize it. My legs move so quickly I can feel the dirt I'm kicking up collecting in the waistline of my jeans. Crumbs of soil, shreds of leaf matter, and splintered tree bark liter the air before falling to the ground in a trail of wreckage behind me. Emmett is to my right and a few steps behind us Esme, Carlisle and Rosalie desperately fall in line.

I can't believe I let Victoria manipulate me into leaving Bella almost completely unguarded! I mean Edward was strong and he was capable but he was only one person and clearly wasn't able to protect them both alone.

How did I let this happen again?

I think about the last time I saw Bella, and the way her face flushed when I leaned in to press my lips to her cheek. I think about the look of absolute adoration in her eyes and the way her stare never wavered from me as we drove off. I think of how those moments could so easily become a bitter memory, the kind of memories I force myself to forget because remembering is just too painful. That's what happens when you lose someone you love, even the good things cut into you like a blade because you realize all you have left of that person is a history that has no future. Though I knew someday she would be gone I thought I'd have more time than this.

I thought we'd have more figured out.

I thought I could change her mind about…

No.

I couldn't focus too much on the what-if's. All I could do now was run faster and hope when we made it to Bella's house everything would be okay.

It wasn't.

XXX

"_I don't know. I haven't really thought about it." My back was rested against her chest, her legs hugged my waist, and as she spoke her breath caressed my neck making me shiver slightly. The television in front of us went ignored as we lie on the couch talking in Bella's living room. _

"_You do realize you're talking to a psychic, right? I know for a fact that you've contemplated asking me about it exactly 75 times in the last 3 months." Even though she couldn't see my face I was sure she could hear the smile in my voice. It was true, Bella had made so many abandoned attempts at raising the subject of being turned that I felt if I didn't bring it up we'd never talk about it._

_And I __**really**__ wanted to talk about it._

_I needed to know how she felt about being one of us but I was afraid to ask because I was wasn't sure that her plans for herself wouldn't align with my plans for the both of us._

"_Really? It was that many times?" I nodded, toying with her fingers in my lap as I waited for her to go on. "Okay, I have thought about it…__**a lot **__actually. It just never felt like the right moment to bring it up. I talked about it once with Edward and he got really upset, and after that it just felt kind of taboo."_

_I sighed. Edward wasn't exactly advocate-of-the-year when it came to vampirism and I silently cursed him for being too proud or too cowardly to ever have this conversation with Bella. _

"_Edward has always resented this life being chosen for him and even after all these years I don't think he's ever really dealt with that." In fact, all of us had dealt pretty badly with being turned. Edward was depressed for years, Rosalie hated pretty much everyone until she finally met Emmett, and Jasper and I…well…our story really doesn't need to be told again. Suffice to say it the shock of such a monumental change didn't do much for our mental and emotional stability. That was why I wanted to prepare Bella for her possible transition. If she chose this lifestyle she could be happier than any of us ever were. It wasn't enough to simply have her around for a few decades -if we were lucky- and then sit idly by as she withered away. I could make her stronger, I could make her invincible and we could have forever._

_I turned in her arms so that we were facing each other, needing to see her face as we spoke. "All that matters is what **you** want. Nothing you say is ever going to be taboo with me, you can talk to me about anything."_

_She stared at me skeptically. "Can I?" I frowned, confused by her doubtful and slightly accusatory tone._

"_What does that mean?"_

"_I mean, what if I agree with him? What if I don't think I'd want to be…a vampire?" She whispered the last sentence as her eyes flittered away from mine, unable to keep eye contact._

"_But…why?" I sounded like a __petulant__ child who'd been refused candy by her parents. I'd seen Bella as a vampire so I knew that at some point it had been what she wanted. What made her change her mind now? Was it me? Was it Edward?_

"_It's not your fault." She said, reading my mind. "It's just...forever__ is a very long time Alice and not all of us are meant to have it." It sounded so simple the way she put it but I knew it was anything but simple. This was her choice and now no matter what happened I'd have to honor it... but__ I didn't want to honor it._

_Didn't she understand how painful it would be for me to let her die knowing I could save her?_

"_Oh." A lump had formed in my throat and I was trying hard to keep from choking on it. _"_That's fine." I heard myself saying, not knowing where my voice was coming from. My words snagged in my throat as I tried unsuccessfully at concealing my disappointment._

"_No, it's not fine. Come on Alice, I can see it all over your face." Bella's hand cupped my cheek as her eyes locked with mine. "I just need some time to think about it, okay? Just because I don't want it right now doesn't mean I'll never want it. Being human isn't something I can't just opt out of without some thought about how it will change my life." Her expression was guilty and I knew she wasn't doing this to hurt me. I didn't want her to feel apologetic about wanting to keep her humanity. Maybe I would've been the same way had I been able to remember mine._

"_You're right." My hand covered hers on my face and I brought it to my lips, kissing her palm. "Take all the time you need. It's not like I'm getting any older." I joked, lamely trying to lighten the mood which actually earned me a smile from Bella._

"_I kinda like dating an older woman." Bella teased, deserving a smack to the arm. I settled back against her, forcing a smile to my face and unmuting the television hoping the sounds would distract me from worrying about a future I clearly had no control over._

XXX

"Don't touch him! He's in a lot of pain and with this amount of damage it will take a long time for his body to heal itself. He has to remain still until the process begins." Carlisle's voice reflected the same concern that was expressed solemnly on all of our faces as Edward lay motionless on the demolished lawn. Edward couldn't even speak, let alone move, the five of us had been forced to pull him from a 3 foot crater in the cement walkway. I couldn't bear to look at my brother knowing I was the catalyst for all his injuries. Esme had completely broken down at the sight of him and even now was still struggling to keep from touching him knowing it would only hurt him more.

From the moment we'd arrived it had been nothing but bad news.

Edward was completely incapacitated, Bella was nowhere in sight and we had absolutely no idea what happened to either of them.

The entire area surrounding Bella's house was saturated in the scent of wolves. It was heavy and earthy and it burned my nose on contact. Beside me Rosalie grimaced and Emmett shielded his nose so I knew I wasn't the only one being affected. Judging by the potency of the scents at least three wolves had been in the area recently and Jake was definitely among them. Though their collective smell was discomforting it was a relief to know Jake had gotten here before us. Clearly he'd been able to chase off whoever had done this.

But where were they now?

With the others caring for Edward, Emmett and I took off to look for Bella. We managed to cover the entire house in only a few seconds, both of us ending our search in Bella's room.

"Holy shit." His words matched my thoughts exactly.

The room was in complete shambles. Furniture and clothes were thrown everywhere as if it had been burglarized and I was having a very hard time keeping myself calm as I realized just how serious this situation really was. There was no sign of her anywhere and if my heart was still pumping it would've been beating hysterically or breaking in half at the shock of it all.

"What the hell happened?" Emmett shouted as we entered the room, looking at me as if I would somehow have superior insight on the situation. I was psychic but I wasn't the fucking book of destiny. I couldn't just turn a page and cite an event in time like some type of psychic priestess.

"Alice?" Emmett questioned again, sending my already increasing anxieties boiling over.

"Dammit, I don't know Em!" I said kicking the dresser in front of me, sending it flying into the wall and collapsing into a splintered heap of wood on the floor. If the surprise on Emmett's face was any indication I was definitely losing it, but I couldn't help it. I didn't deal well with this kind of stress, the stress of not knowing if someone you love is alive or...or...

I couldn't even think it! Let alone say it out loud.

She was alive, she _had_ to be. I would know if she wasn't, even without precognition, I would just _know_. Like the way you can sense when someone walks into a room behind you, or when someone is staring, or the energy a television emits when it's turned on. You can feel those things and I know I would be able to feel Bella's energy if she were gone.

Then all at once it hit me...that smell. The scent of a vampire had been roused when I'd kicked the dresser and it didn't belong to anyone in my family, it belonged to...fuck. Emmett growled beside me, reacting automatically to the intruding scent. The vampire had marked her room like a dog peeing on a tree.

He was claiming her and he wanted us to know it.

"Do you smell that?" Emmett asked, picking up one of Bella's shirts and sniffing at it irritably. He threw the shirt back to the floor a moment later as his irritation fueled to full on rage. I didn't respond but the look on my face must've spoken volumes because Emmett's next words once again matched my thoughts.

"You know him?" There was a definite accusation in that question.

"Yeah…I know him." I was surprised by the lack of emotion in my voice and evidently so was Emmett because he was staring at me as if I was a stranger with two heads he'd just been introduced to on the streets.

"Why is he doing this Alice?" There was anger, confusion and fear in his voice that I couldn't even begin to soothe.

My words came out cold and detached. "Because Emmett, he knows that a vampire will do anything to protect their mate." I barely heard his responding gasp and any other words that left his mouth were droned out completely. My mind was occupied elsewhere, planning my next move.

Victoria may have started this battle but James had begun a war. I knew what kind of monster James was and the things he did to humans, for fun, but he clearly had no clue what I was capable of.


	20. Chapter 19: Unlikely Hero

**A/N: It's a short one but, hey, it's the thought that counts right? ****Merry Christmas guys and gals! **

**Unlikely Hero**

_"You don't know her like I do__…__Her past is full of secrets that would break your heart if you heard them__."_

It was hard to keep Edward's words from invading my mind as I watched James step closer and closer towards me. At the time I'd thought Edward was just angry and speaking out of jealousy but as I stared up at the vampire that had every intention to kill me I knew at least part of what he'd said had been true.

James had been one of Alices' secrets. James, who was now watching me with hungry eyes as he lowered his mouth to my wrist, had been one of those heartbreaking memories Alice couldn't wait to forget. Now I was paying for all the times I stubbornly refused to listen when she said I would get hurt.

I didn't know where I was, it looked like some type of old lumber mill and it smelled like one too, but for all I knew we could've been halfway across the country. I just hoped Jake or Alice knew more than I did about where I was and what the hell was going on. James had knocked me unconscious before I could even find out if Edward was okay but at the moment I had to admit I was far more worried about my own safety.

I was finally going to learn why humans and vampires don't mix.

I pressed my eyes shut, silently allowing the tears to leak through my eyelids, as I felt his teeth puncture my skin. My first instinct was to pull away but my feet and arms were bound to my seat and struggling was only making him bite harder to keep me still. The pleased yet animalistic sounds he was making turned my stomach upside down and I cringed at every moan of enjoyment that left his lips.

The pain had been minimal at first, but what began as a numbing warmth was starting to feel like acid being poured up my arm. My eyes snapped open as the thought occurred to me that he might not stop.

What if he didn't stop?

I knew this was all some sort of sick game to this guy and I'd been banking on the possibility that I wouldn't be very much fun to "play with" if I was dead. After all, I knew enough vampires to confidently say that none of them could stomach cold blood. It was essentially the vampire equivalent of humans eating raw meat.

As I glanced down at James my heart dropped, he wasn't letting up. In fact he seemed even more voracious than when he'd begun.

It really fucking hurt! My head felt light from the sudden drop in blood pressure and I deliriously attempted once more to tug myself free but I was too dizzy to even hold my head up straight. His nails dug deep into my skin eliciting the strangled cry I'd been suppressing from the moment his teeth cut into my wrist.

He was going to bleed me dry.

What would the Cullen's tell Charlie if James killed me? I was all he had and wouldn't understand it if I just disappeared and never came back. What about Jake? He'd risk his life to get revenge against the vampires responsible and probably get himself killed in the process. And Alice would...

Alice would...never forgive herself.

I couldn't die here, not like this, but I didn't have a choice.

Until _she _showed up.

In one fluid motion she grabbed him by his neck like a panther picking up her cub and flung him across the room. He landed on his back but was on his feet a second later with ink black eyes that never left the gushing wound on my arm. I recognized that look. Alice had a similar expression that night in the woods when she almost bit me.

It was the look of blood-lust. Only this time it wasn't Alice and this time I had no reason to believe I could snap him out of his trance.

Determined to finish what he'd started James started back towards me.

Blood, my blood, stained his teeth and mouth as he growled at the woman who didn't even flinch at the warning. Her back was to me but her posture and attitude screamed power and authority. She definitely didn't seem like the type of vampire to fuck with. Apparently James disagreed with that idea because he showed absolutely no caution as he attempted to tackle the woman. She side-stepped his attack and swiftly delivered one -very hard and very loud- blow to the head and just like that the fight was over.

I might've been impressed, or maybe even grateful at her intervention, but there was still the issue of my arm feeling like someone had pumped gasoline into it and lit a match.

"Laurent, get him the hell out of here before he wakes up." I hadn't even noticed there was a fourth person in the room but a second after she'd spoken a tall, dark-skinned man with dreads suddenly appeared beside James. He picked him up and tossed him over his shoulder like a sac of rice and he didn't look too pleased about it either.

I tore my eyes away from the scene in front of me as the pain in my arm amplified, it was slowly spreading up to my shoulder. I whimpered, unable to do anything to quiet the pain other than squirm in my seat.

"She's got too much venom in her blood." A male voice said in a thick Cajun dialect. "What do you want to do with her?"

"I'll take care of it." I really hoped the 'it' she was referring to didn't involve killing me. Despite saving my life only a few moments ago something told me I didn't want to be left alone with this woman.

She knelt in front of me once Laurent and James had left us. She was staring at me with a peculiar expression, like the kind of irritable look Edward sometimes got when he was frustrated with a thought he'd overheard. I didn't know what it meant and I was having a hard time keeping her face in focus as my eyes watered from the burning in my arm. A heavy sigh and a few mumbled swears was all she said before her lips surrounded the freshly pierced skin on my wrist.

Unlike James her eyes never darkened, they remained a vibrant red and they stayed locked on me as she slowly made the pain fade away.

**A/N: I appreciate all of you who are still reading this story. The best part about writing is knowing there is at least one person out there who enjoys what they're reading. Thanks!**

**I'll see how quick I can get the next chapter out. (and please excuse any grammar or spelling mistakes. i'm a bit sugar high on Egg Nog and pie and i'm not functioning at 100%.)**


	21. Chapter 20: Another Friend

**Hey Peeps! I'm getting better with my update time. The reviews from the last chapter really inspired me to work a little faster. I hate to keep you guys/gals waiting too long. Anyways, let's get on with the show! I hope you enjoy.**

**Another Friend**_  
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_Someone was holding me._

_Small delicate hands traced my face and smoothed my hair as if I were a rare porcelain doll being pieced back together. The arms felt familiar and even with my eyes closed I knew that this person was safe. This person would never hurt me. My eyes fluttered open to meet her soft, golden stare and felt my heart suspend at the sight of her smiling face._

_"Alice." My voice sounded strange to my own ears, as if I wasn't used to hearing myself sound so happy. I was so thankful to see her I felt like crying._

_"It's okay Bella." She spoke and her voice was soothing like aloe on a burn wound._

_"I'm here now. You're safe." I believed her. I trusted her. I always knew she'd be the one to save me when no one else could -not Edward, or Jake, or even Rosalie. Alice was the only one who could really protect me from everything._

_"I was so scared, Alice." I was talking into her shoulder as my arms raced to make a circle around her tiny frame. "I knew you'd come. Please don't leave me again, please stay with me. I need you." My words were wet and rushed as I desperately clung to her, too afraid to let go._

_Alice was quiet._

_She was too quiet and her silence made me draw back. She was acting so strange and she refused to make eye contact so I lifted her chin to force her attention. Slowly, she focused on my face and I gasped when I was confronted by deep burgundy eyes staring a hole right through me. I didn't understand, they'd been normal just a second ago._

_I backed away quickly, putting as much distance as I could between us, as I blindly searched for the edge of whatever it was we were sitting on top of. Only then did I notice we were sitting on the floor and there was nothing else around us._

_And by "nothing" I really did mean nothing. There weren't any…walls._

_I was surrounded by endless, empty, white space._

_How could there be no walls? Where the fuck were we?!_

_Suddenly Alice was on top of me, pushing me down and doing her best to be gentle as I frantically fought to get away from her._

_"Get off! Please someone help!" I screamed into the emptiness, hearing nothing but the sound of my own voice echo back at me. I kicked and punched at her marble body trying to get away but she was so much stronger than me._

_"Bella stop! It's me, I'm not going to hurt you! Please, don't fight me sweetie." I didn't stop resisting until I felt the pressure of her body uncover mine. I scrambled to my feet once I was free but Alice remained on the ground on her knees._

_I looked around for Jake or the rest of the Cullen's but every space my eyes touched was empty. Not only that but the space seemed to be getting smaller and darker._

_It was changing._

_It was becoming something more sinister._

_Alice was sobbing. "I'm sorry Bella." She cried. "I'm so sorry…" She wouldn't stop apologizing and it scared me so much because I didn't know why she was sorry. What happened to us?_

_I reached for her but it was like she was made of fog because my hand kept passing through her._

_Then everything faded away until there was only me and a painful pulsing in my head…_

**XXX**

When I woke the red-headed vampire was still attached to my arm. I must've passed out for a few minutes and apparently those few minutes was all it took for the woman to completely undo all the damage James had caused with the bite. Granted, my wrist was still bleeding and my head felt like I'd taken a couple kicks to the temple but at least the burning had stopped.

At least I was still alive and still human.

Once she was finished the woman quickly stood and dusted herself off. She all but flew across the room trying to get away from me and I frowned, confused by her behavior.

I'd never seen a vampire feed before. Alice and the others were adamant that it was too dangerous for humans to be anywhere near them when they hunted, so I'd always been kept away. I don't know what I expected it to be like -perhaps I'd romanticized the whole thing in my head as some type of peaceful, natural exchange between man and animal- but it was nothing close to that. Speaking as someone with firsthand experience I can say it's torturous for the victim. Especially if that victim is human and coherent enough to realize what's happening. Even more troublesome was when the venom entered my bloodstream there was a euphoric element to it that almost felt...good. It was like some kind of adrenaline boost and oxygen-deprived high.

I don't know what's worse: dying of exsanguination or involuntarily liking it?

I watched as the vampire cringed then spit out the blood she'd sucked from me as if it was curdled milk. She wiped her hands on her shirt, dirtying what had been a very clean white blouse with red stains, and behaving as if I'd done something to personally offend her.

Well, excuse me for bleeding.

And while we're at it: excuse me for nearly dying as well. No big deal.

"Why'd you help me?" Shut up Bella! Shut up, right now. You do not ask the vampire who just decided not to chug your blood like a Pepsi product what her motives are. Maybe I really didn't have any sense of self preservation or maybe the loss of blood was lowering my ability to think rationally. Yeah, I'll go with that idea.

"I didn't help you. I helped myself and at the moment that involves keeping you alive." She spat the words even harsher than she'd spat the blood out of her mouth. Then she gripped the edge of her shirt and tugged, ripping a long piece of it off. In an instant she was standing in front of me and untying my bleeding arm from the chair. "James doesn't react well with too much temptation. I shouldn't have left him alone with you."

She'd protected me. "Thank yo-"

"Don't!" She cut me off before I could finish and I shrunk in my seat. "Trust me, the last thing I want is for _you_ to be around for an eternity. I haven't done you any favors and I don't want your gratitude. Do you understand?" I nodded slowly as she finished undoing the rope and dropped it to the floor.

Who was this woman? She clearly didn't want me for my blood like most vampires and I'm guessing from the way she was acting that she wasn't interested in being bff's. Not to mention her friend had brutally attacked Edward. Why would someone go through this much trouble for me if…

Then I remembered.

How could I not have pieced it together sooner?

"You're Victoria." The words escaped my lips in a shocked whisper and when she looked up -her eyes narrowed in a death glare- I immediately regretted my decision to speak. This was the vampire that turned Alice, the same woman that scares her so much she can barely say her name without shaking. This was the vampire who ran Rosalie and I off the road and nearly succeeded in killing me once already.

I was so confused.

What the hell did she want from me?

She didn't even bother to respond as she took the cloth she'd ripped and began tying it around my wrist to slow the bleeding. "Alice told me about you." That got her attention and for the briefest moment she seemed to be interested in what I was saying. "She said you're a psychopath who hates humans and tried to kill Jasper." Did I seriously say that out loud? I'm still blaming it on the blood loss.

Surprisingly, Victoria started smiling. I mean, like actually fucking laughing as if I'd made a joke. It was weird to see someone so dark and intimidating with such a pleased expression.

"I'm not surprised Alice said something like that. She was never able to see things as they really were. It's easy for a person's sense of reality to get warped when they spend so much of their consciousness in the future." As she tied the cloth she tugged a bit too roughly and I whimpered as it pressed painfully into the bite wound. Her eyes caught mine and I knew she'd done that on purpose. She clearly didn't appreciate my little remark and I had to be careful not to overstep my bounds with this vampire.

"Alice has a nasty habit of neglecting her past. It doesn't matter how much you care for her or how hard you love her, running will always be what she does best." She seemed bitter and I got the distinct impression that _she_ was the part of Alices' past that had been neglected. I wondered just how close Alice actually was to Victoria when they were together. I couldn't linger on that thought long though, the idea of it made me sick. Beside it didn't matter. I knew Alice would never leave me, we were different.

"I know what you're thinking." She had no idea what I was thinking. "You're thinking she'd never leave you but you're wrong. If she's smart leaving is exactly what she will do." She finished with the bandage and stepped back, crossing her arms as she stared down at me with a teasing smile. "You're playing a dangerous game little girl. I bet Alice never told you she used to hate humans even more than I did? In fact the first human she ever killed looked a lot like you."

I couldn't believe a word that left her mouth. Alice had warned me how manipulative she was. She was trying to make me doubt her and it wasn't going to work.

"You're lying."

"Then why is your heart beating so fast? Are you scared that I might be telling the truth?" I didn't like the way she was looking at me, as if she knew a secret that I didn't. Maybe she did. I had a feeling whatever secrets this vampire knew would give me nightmares for weeks.

"Alice only did those things because you forced her." I defended.

"I never forced her to enjoy it. She did that all on her own." I didn't know how to respond so I grudgingly decided on saying nothing at all. Victoria seemed pleased with my silence as if my lack of rebuttal had proven her right. I glared at her, wishing that looks actually could kill.

"They're going to find me." I hoped I was right but I honestly didn't know if that was even close to being true. Edward and I had been alone when James and that other guy showed up.

"You don't even know where you are. What makes you think anyone else would?" Once again, she was right and she knew it.

She pulled a wooden crate full of old newspapers in front of me then took a seat on top. She was doing that weird staring thing again and it was making me more than a little uncomfortable. Finally, after a few minutes of her staring and me squirming awkwardly under her gaze, she spoke. "You have no idea what you're involved in do you?"

"I-"

"Alice should have never gotten a human mixed up in this. It's like she has a death wish or something." She didn't seem to be talking to me, it was more like she was thinking out loud. I watched as she ran her hand through her hair as her eyebrows pulled together in an expression of angry frustration. Her mannerisms were starting to remind me of a certain pixie-haired vampire and I had to look away. I didn't want there to be similarities between the two of them.

I didn't want to imagine what more they might have in common.

She drew my attention back to her when she suddenly perked up, listening for a sound only she was able to hear.

"Laurent is back. He'll keep an eye on you while I'm gone." I resisted the urge to be a smart-ass and tell her I didn't need a baby-sitter, guessing that my humor probably wouldn't be appreciated.

Strangely, as I watched her walk away, I realized I didn't want her to leave. She may have been a monster but she'd still kept me alive. I didn't want to be left alone with yet another strange vampire that _"couldn't resist" _the temptation of my blood. I was pretty sure I was already down to three of my nine lives.

"Please, don't…" My small voice got her attention and she stopped and turned to face me.

There was an understanding in her eyes that I didn't expect to see. Of course she still looked like she hated my guts but she clearly cared if someone tried to spill them. "Laurent is a gentleman." It was all she said to reassure me before she disappeared a second later. Once she was out of sight I used the time to myself to finish untying my other arm and my legs.

Gentleman or not I had to get the hell out of here.

By the time I was on my feet and searching for the nearest exit, the vampire who I assumed was Laurent, was already making his grand entrance.

Great, another friend.

**So...yeah. There's chapter 21. I'll do my best getting the next up soon. I think it's about time we find out what's up with Alice and the rest of the crew. So much for saviors. ****Tell me what you like so far and I'll keep serving it up.**

**Stay classy.**


	22. Chapter 21: Marked

**A/N: This was a bitch to write but I really I hope you all enjoy it! If there is someone out there who is a really fast beta and willing to take on this story hit me up in the PM or review. **

**Marked**

**VPOV**

I could still taste her on my tongue. I could still hear the sound of her blood rushing through her veins ring out in my ears. I wondered how long it would take for me to get the taste out of my mouth and out of my head? It was sweet like honey yet tart like raspberries and I consciously had to restrain myself from rolling my tongue around in my mouth to revive the experience. Personally I'd rather starve than feed from that particular human -no matter how good she tasted- but I didn't understand how anyone in Alice's coven had the strength deny her blood when it was practically begging to be enjoyed. If any of them had truly cared for her they would have turned her ages ago, instead of keeping her around like some prized pig being groomed for slaughter.

They seemed like a relatively capable coven. They were inconspicuous, wealthy and intelligent. I mean, they had to be smart if they lasted this long without attracting any "unwanted" attention. Which is why I couldn't fathom that any of them would willingly consort with wolves, let alone a human. Didn't they care that there were consequences for human exposure? Consequences that extended far beyond a finger wagging or a slap on the wrist. Last time I checked the Volturi executed vampires for exposing themselves to humans. Not only that but they took pleasure in making the punishment as lengthy and as public as they wanted.

You don't fuck with the Volturi. You don't refuse them, you don't get on their bad side and you certainly don't double-cross them. I wish I'd had someone to tell me that 86 years ago, back when I was still that ambitious recruit sucking from the Volturi tit.

But, no.

We had to learn the hard way what it meant to be an enemy of Volterra. Laurent, James and I are as good as dead if they ever find us. In fact, dead would even be a blessing considering the fun Jane would have if we were caught alive. I swear I'd take us all out before I ever let her get a hold of us.

I try not to linger on the possibility of being caught. I'd know if I were in any immediate danger because I'd always been able to feel when bad things were going to happen to me. It's my "gift" and its kept me alive for centuries so far and I had no intention of being taken down by a scraggly pack of mutts and Alice's vegetarian friends.

I'm drawn out of my inner musings as James begins to wake on the floor. He'd only been unconscious for an hour but its put us behind schedule a full thirty minutes. I give him a swift kick to the ribs out of irritation and he groans, clutching his side in pain.

"Get up. You've already wasted enough time and we need to get moving." He gives me a hard look but I ignore it. "And change your clothes, you've got that human's blood all over you." His stare turns apologetic after he observes that he is indeed covered in her blood.

I'm surprised that _'I'm sorry' _are the first words that leave his mouth once he fully comes to his senses. He's never been the type to apologize, especially to me, but I'm glad he does. He was impulsive and morally deplorable but he was also loyal to a fault and I knew he cared about this coven even when he was being an ass.

It was sheer luck that I'd arrived before he was successful in draining that human, otherwise we would have completely lost any leverage we had in this situation. We needed her alive…at least until we got Alice. If the circumstances weren't so dire I might've actually found some humor in the irony of protecting that human. The very person I'd wanted dead a few weeks ago -the very person I _still_ wanted dead- I was now forced to keep alive to use as a bargaining chip.

As we make our way to the meeting point I can't help wishing things had been different. I'd been too aggressive and too demanding of Alice, thinking old routines would still work on a new, more mature, Alice. Maybe if I'd been more subtle with my arrival -to be exact not trying to crush her human pet under a sports car- she wouldn't be so untrusting. But it wasn't in my personality to be subtle or to allow humans to claim what wasn't theirs. Alice believed we were the monsters because her naivety sheltered her from the true nature of the real demons, humans. We fed on humans for survival, because without their blood we would cease to exist, but humans killed each other everyday for no reason at all. They conquered and destroyed civilizations, they murdered and stole without remorse. Vampire hunts looked like tea parties in comparison to the things humans did to each other.

The look on my face must mirror my inner turmoil because Riley is suddenly staring at me with questioning eyes.

"Have you changed your mind? Do you want to go back?" There's a hint of disappointment clinging to his tone, as he misunderstands my sudden mood shift.

He hasn't been with us very long, only a few years, and he is eager to prove himself and always itching for a good fight. His zeal worries me sometimes, mostly because it reminds me of myself, but I must admit I like his passion. Riley stays with us despite the target Laurent, James and I carry on our backs from the Volturi. He spent his entire human life as his father's punching bag so he understands what it's like to be unwanted and an outcast.

"I haven't changed my mind. Everything's fine, we're almost there." I answer blankly as my feet keeping moving us deeper into the forest. It's late, nearly 10p.m. and the sky has darkened into a bruised black and blue. I know they're waiting for us and I feel my stomach turn with the prospects of seeing Alice again. Her face has remained painted on the inside of my eyelids for decades and the anxiety of seeing her, in the flesh, is nearly overwhelming. So many nights I'd spent thinking about where she was and what she was doing but never did I imagine all of this. So much has changed, so many memories have soured with time and I find myself doubting my reasons for coming back for her.

She has a new family, a new life, a new _love_…

While I was busy searching for her face in every crowded room or dimly lit bar scene, she was playing house and falling in love with a human girl that would've made a better meal than a mate.

She hadn't missed me at all.

**APOV**

"Alice…Alice?"

"What?" My voice sounds weak as I tear my eyes away from the expanse of trees I'd been staring through and up into Carlisles' soft stare. From the frustration on his face I can tell he'd been trying to get my attention for a while. I didn't realize it. I try to focus as he repeats his question.

"Do you see anything? Do you know how far they are?" His words are slow and deliberate as if he's talking to someone unbalanced. Perhaps I _am_ unbalanced. I feel like the light is fading out of my life and It's a struggle to even form words to respond to him as he waits patiently for my answer.

"They're close. About fifteen minutes north of here." My voice sounds like someone else's, my body feels borrowed and unfamiliar and my mind is tortured with thoughts of Bella. It's been hours since she was taken and the optimism of her safety I'd been blindly clinging onto has all but vanished. The harsh reality of the situation has sunk into me like a tick. Bella is gone, probably hurting and scared, and I can't protect her. I can't do anything except remember all the ways that I screwed everything up.

Over my shoulder I can smell Jacob, Leah and two other wolves whose names I was too distracted to ask. They'd arrived at Bella's house shortly before my family did and managed to chase off the vampire who was attacking Edward. I wished so badly they'd been faster or he slower, then at least we'd have our own retaliation to cling onto. At least we could've taken someone they would miss.

Edward was in no condition to fight, or even move, yet. Thankfully his body was healing but it was a slow process. Esme hadn't wanted to leave him alone but honestly we needed all the muscle we could manage if we were going to meet with Victoria again. Surprisingly it had been Seth, Leah's younger brother, who'd offered to watch over Edward at the mansion while the rest of us followed my vision to the forest. There's no question that Jacob saved Edward's life even if he wasn't able to stop them from taking Bella. He'd even thought of a cover story for why Bella's lawn now looked liked a mine testing field. Although, with a lie like 'a water main busted' Emmett and Rose actually had to break a few to make it seem credible. I catch Jacob's eye as I look over my shoulder and when he nods supportively, as if he knows everything will be okay, I almost begin to feel better.

Almost.

"Alice?" This time it's Rose that shakes me from my thoughts and she's wearing the same look of frustration Carlisle had earlier. "Pull it together. Bella needs you to be stronger than this. We all do." The look she gives me communicates the depth of everything she can't say out loud and I stand up a bit straighter and swallow all the pieces of me that feel like crying.

"I know this is difficult for you, having been acquainted with these vampires, but I need you to be try and stay focused." He doesn't realize that the difficulty of this situation has more to do with my history with Bella than it does with Victoria. "She might try to push your buttons but don't let her bait you. Bella's going to be fine and so are you. I won't let her harm either of you. Do you understand?" I nod my head and try to feel some comfort in Carlisle's confidence but I know nothing that happens today is set in stone.

"Honey, you're sure this is the wisest decision? If we attack them there's no going back." Esme seems reluctant to even ask that question. Carlisle is her mate and she doesn't want to appear unsupportive of his plan despite her own apprehensions.

We don't know for sure how many vampires Victoria has on her side but Carlisle believes Victoria only took Bella to keep us from attacking her. Why would she do that unless she was outnumbered? Carlisle's plan is simple; if they don't cooperate we kill them all and leave one alive. Then the survivor can either be persuaded to lead us to Bella or we can use Edward to pick their brain once he's fully healed. It's a strategy that certainly seems easy but nothing is ever easy when it comes to killing someone…even if that someone is a vampire.

All eyes shift to Carlisle for affirmation and he sets his jaw determinedly before responding.

"It will work but we must all remain firm. If she truly wanted to kill Bella she would never have taken her captive. We have enough man power here to fight and _win_! If we give into what she wants we'll lose every ounce of control we have and could wind up with a casualty none of us want. No one is to attack until I give the order." He gives a stern look at every one of us as he speaks, lingering on Jacob and the other wolves for special emphasis. The wolves may be on our side but they operate on their own terms when it comes to volatile vampires. The only thing keeping them from stepping out of line is Jacob and the threat to a human life.

"But this is _Bella_ we're talking about! We can't gamble with her life." It's Emmett that begins that outburst. "We shouldn't even be talking about this. We should be out there searching for her!"

"And where would we look? Alice can't get a vision of anything substantial and we lost their scent two miles over the state border. This is the best option we have." Rosalie's words subdue Emmett and when she takes his hand in hers he visibly calms. He glances in my direction and I know he wants me to take his side, to agree that this plan is too dangerous, but I can't. It's a decent plan, it's going to work.

It _has_ to work.

A snap in the distance directs all our attention to the trees. We fall into line quickly -Rosalie is to my left, Emmett is beside her, Carlisle and Esme are to my right and the wolves stand perched on the rocks behind us. We look ready. I _feel _ready.

I smell them long before they come into view and as I do I can hear the wolves paws digging into the dirt with the strain to remain still. Two of them begin to growl and my muscles tighten at the sound. It is Victoria who steps into the clearing first while James flanks her right and another vampire I've never met stands to her left. As if drawn by some invisible force her eyes automatically scan over everyone else to meet mine. My fists clench at my sides and, before I can give it much thought, I move forward only to be corrected by Rosalie who gives me a harsh look before guiding me back into formation. I shake my head, trying to force any ideas of vengeance out of my mind. I can't allow my anger to let me do something stupid.

I look away from Victoria and choose to focus on James instead. He's smirking, as usual, but unlike Victoria he actually looks different from how I remembered him all those years ago. His hair is shorter, more appropriate for the era, and his clothes are neat and clean. I'm sure it's by Victoria's command that he isn't walking around barefoot and filthy. James was always more beast than man and it's clear that Victoria was at least able to tame his appearance, even if his personality was still savage. He licks his lips and winks when he catches me staring and I feel a strange emotion, like nausea and rage, bubbling inside of me.

I imagine him alone with Bella and I know it's a bad thought to entertain because I'm beginning to feel less in control of what I might do to him. I think about his hands on her, his arms restraining her and his lips coated with her blood. I think of all the thoughts that make vampires mated to humans go crazy. I want to rip apart every piece of him that makes him whole until there is nothing left. I want to claw his face off but Carlisle is speaking now and I push away the fantasies of revenge before they become a reality I'll regret.

"My name is Carlisle and I'm the head of this coven." He slowly makes his way to the center of the clearing as we all stay in place behind him. Victoria acknowledges him but remains silent for him to continue. Carlisle is a naturally polite person but I can tell he is struggling to be cordial given the circumstance. "It is my understanding that members of your coven have taken one of ours. Before we continue any further with this meeting I need to be assured of her safety."

The tension is palpable as everyone waits eagerly for her to confirm what we all hope to be true. She steps to the center of the clearing, stopping at arms length of Carlisle, before answering.

"She is safe." It's all she says but there is no mistaking the exhales of relief that follow her statement and once again I find Victoria's eyes on me, gauging my reaction. Her stare is soft and imploring and for a moment I have to remind myself what those red eyes signify. I don't understand what kind of game she's playing at but it's not going to work. I look away just as Carlisle begins speaking again.

"Where is she?"

"Somewhere you'll never find her if you even think of attacking any of us." She knew we planned on killing them but she didn't seem worried at all. Not even a little bit. "I don't want to spend anymore time here than necessary and if things go smoothly we have every intention of leaving and returning your pet." I hear Jacob growl and feel Rosalie tense beside me at the word _pet_. It's like she was intentionally trying to insult us even when it wasn't necessary though I doubt any of the others realized it was a front.

"So far we seem to be in agreement. What can we do to facilitate your _immediate _departure and the safety of Isabella?"

"All I ask is that you allow me the company of one of your coven members to retrieve the human. However, that company _has_ to be Alice and _only _Alice." She doesn't look at me this time but I can feel at least five other pairs of eyes on me. Carlisle seems annoyed with the audacity of her suggestion but he hides it well. He angles his head to look at me, almost like he's checking that I'm still standing after all the bombs that Victoria refuses to stop unloading on my life.

"To make you feel a bit more comfortable about the idea James and Riley will remain here until we return. You can think of them as collateral." I wondered how James and Riley felt about being offered up like two sacrificial lambs but their expressions revealed nothing about their moods.

"No. Tell us where she is and we will handle it alone." Carlisle's tone has lost all traces of courtesy.

"That's not an option. If I do that then nothing will stop you from killing us."

"I give you my word you will be free to leave once we know where you've taken her."

"Your _'word' _is not what we came here for." Her eyes travel back to me. "Alice comes with us and your human goes free. I give you _my_ word that if she chooses to rejoin you after all this is done I won't stop her. That's the deal, no negotiations."

"No." At this point everyone was on the defensive and ready to strike at even the slightest misstep. The wolves were growling and howling so loud I could barely hear the conversation going on in front of me and I was beginning to think they wouldn't even bother to wait for Carlisle's signal before attacking.

What was he waiting for? She wasn't going to back down and things were getting out of control. We could still fight. We could still _win_.

We needed to do something now!

"I think you need to control your dogs." Victoria's voice darkened at the implicated threat of the wolves behavior and she brazenly stepped a fraction closer to Carlisle. Esme lunged forward a few feet and Emmett and Rosalie followed but Carlisle held his hand out to still us, attempting to keep us calm. James and Riley finally made a move as they slowly began to creep forward until they were side by side with Victoria. The wolves had completely broken formation and were now surrounding all of us and the control Carlisle had on them was waning considerably. Rose was holding Emmett back with her arm and Carlisle was still locked in a stand-off with Victoria that seemed likely to end in all of us getting hurt. I couldn't let that happen.

"I'll go with you!"

"Alice get back!" Carlisle didn't even bother breaking eye contact with Victoria as he motioned behind him for me to stay put. For the first time in my life I ignored his order and quickly blurred to the center of the clearing, positioning myself between Carlisle and Victoria. It wasn't until I turned around to face him that I noticed the fear in his eyes. I'd never seen Carlisle afraid of anything, he was the bravest and strongest person I'd ever known. Nothing scared him.

Nothing.

I didn't understand what had caused this change but I quickly realized it had something to do with that mark on Victoria's wrist, because Carlisle couldn't seem to take his eyes off of it.

"Alice, _don't_." Carlisle seemed to be pleading more than commanding but we both knew my decision had already been made. I wasn't going to let anyone fight my battles anymore. Bella was _my _mate and Victoria was _my _problem. I would deal with it the way I was always meant to.

Alone.

"I'll be okay." I say as I pull my arm out of the restraining hold he has on me and turn towards Victoria. Her face remains expressionless as we leave and I try to drown out the shouts that call my name as I disappear into the thickness of the trees.

-/-/-

"Jacob, make sure they don't move." As instructed Jacob and the other wolves surround James and Riley, pinning them against a massive tree. James folds his arms, feigning a look of boredom as Riley slumps down to sit at the base of the tree trunk.

"How could you let her go! Why didn't you let us stop them?" Carlisle ignores Emmett's questions as well as the look on Rosalie's face that is asking the same thing. Instead he pulls Esme to the side and whispers something only she can hear. Her eyes go wide as he continues and Emmett and Rosalie grow even more anxious not knowing what's going on. When Carlisle finally addresses them it looks as if he's not sure how to begin.

"This is much bigger than a feud Alice has with this coven. Victoria's been marked by the Volturi."

"What does that mean?" Rosalie asks as her eyes shift from Esme to Carlisle for clarity.

"It means that we can't kill her."

**A/N: This is the first chapter where I've done a POV that wasn't Alice or Bella so I hope it worked out well. I just think in order to properly tell Victoria's story the beginning has to reflect her POV and occasionally she needs her own reactions. The next chapter will be posted in a week. Let me know what you're feeling so far.**

**To all my reviewers thank you, thank you, thank you!**

**And to the anons:**

**LisaMunoz - I agree 100% about the Edward/Bella dynamic and it makes me unbelievably happy that someone feels that way about my story. :) Thanks for your support!**

**BellaFan - I hope this update encourages you not to war with yourself. ;) Next chapter is up in a week!**


	23. Chapter 22: Let Me Go

**A/N: I don't have much to say before we get into chapter 23. Just a quick thank you to all my readers and reviewers and a BIG shout-out to ElphabaCullen, my new Beta, for her wonderful editing help. Without her I would've probably been biting my nails over this chapter for at least another week. Hope you enjoy!**

**Stephanie Meyer owns the world. Bien sur.**

**Let Me Go**

It had been an hour since we left the others and neither of us had stopped or spoken since. Victoria was running a few paces ahead of me, leading the way, and I was keeping a close watch on her to make sure that 'a few paces' was the only distance that separated us. Though I doubted that after all the effort she'd put into getting me alone she'd do anything to jeopardize it, I had to be careful not to let my guard down. It was weird but somehow I felt that she was being honest when she'd said she would return Bella and let me leave if I wanted to.

Maybe that was because I wanted to believe her. Because I wanted to trust that everything would be okay. Despite every logical part of my mind that told me she was evil and dangerous I didn't want to kill Victoria. Even after everything she'd done, deep inside I still felt a instinctual need to protect her. We shared a bond that no matter how many times I shook my head and plugged my ears -trying to ignore it- was indelible.

I almost collide into her back when she suddenly stops running and stands motionless, facing away from me. I slide to a rocky stop just before I fall against her.

"Why are we stopping?" We were still in the woods, although we'd crossed the Washington border into Oregon about 30mins prior. It was dark out but the moon, coupled with my keen eyesight, provided enough illumination to see clearly. I didn't smell Bella's scent or see any tracks that indicated we'd arrived at our intended destination so I knew we weren't very close.

"We're at the halfway point." She shoved her hands into her pockets then slowly turned to face me.

"Then keep going." I said, worried that she was reneging on our deal.

"I will. After we talk about this." She said it as if the conversation was unavoidable and I suppose it was. I knew my "company" wasn't any good if we spent the entire trip in an irritable silence, she wanted me along for a reason. But I didn't want to talk and I wanted to listen even less. What I wanted was to find Bella and get back to my family as quickly as possible.

I pushed ahead of her, walking off in the direction we'd been running with the intention of continuing, but hopelessly realizing that I had absolutely no idea what route to follow. Victoria stopped me with a hand on my wrist, saving me from the pride crushing embarrassment of turning back to demand directions. Her hand stayed on my wrist even after I'd stopped, then proceed to slide downwards until her fingers were grasping my own. I snatched my hand away instantly, leaving Victoria with a scowl that bordered on a sullen stare.

Trying to decipher her salty-sweet mood fluctuations was doing my head in. Victoria's emotional scale shifted more often than Rosalie's…and that's saying a lot. I didn't know how to react to her behavior or what do with my frustration, so I did the only thing that felt real. I slapped her.

I slapped her _hard_.

The sound echoed in my ears like smashing glass in a concrete room. The action triggered something inside me, like the first fallen domino in a line, and before I knew what I was doing I was attacking her. I punched, kicked, and scratched like a madwoman, too furious to even realize that she wasn't fighting back. She was just laying on the ground like a crash test dummy, taking every blow with passive indifference.

I just wanted to hurt her, to make her feel something. To make her understand how fucked up I was because of her.

After what seemed like an eternity of her being my voluntary punching bag she finally grabbed my arms and stilled them. Her face was cracked in multiple places -revealing the grey blue flesh underneath- and the curls of her hair looked even more untamed than usual. We were both on the ground and I slid away and sat on my knees as I watched her push herself up onto her elbows. She released my arms to run her fingers over the damages to her face, frowning ever so slightly at the roughness she felt under her fingertips.

"Did that make you feel any better?" I was surprised by the lack of cynicism in her tone but even more surprised that it actually hadn't made me feel any better.

Not even a little bit.

"Much better." I lied.

She stood up and dusted herself off before extending a hand to help me up. I ignored the gesture and pushed myself off the ground until we were standing face-to-face. She still had that _look_ in her eyes, like I was a puzzle she was constantly piecing together in her mind. I wanted to wipe it away with my thumb like rubbing soap scum off the rim of dirty glass. I'd much rather her keep scowling at me than stare with that look.

"You wanna talk, then lets talk. Why do you keep doing that?" I asked, letting the irritation I was feeling seep through.

"Doing what?"

"Acting like you…like we've…" I faltered not knowing how to phrase what I was thinking without it sounding absurd. "Why are you acting as if we mean something more to each other when we don't? We were coven mates Victoria. Nothing more, nothing less. We were barely even friends yet you keep looking at me as if you…care. It's been over seventy years and you can't pull strings like you used to."

"There used to be a time where I didn't have to pull strings to get you to do things with me."

"What does that _mean_?" My voice was an exasperated whine and I was positive that I sounded like a confused child. I was so sick of all this cryptic stuff. I just wanted to know why she was doing all this. We were well past the idea that she merely wanted me to return to her coven. She had to have some alternative reason that made her go through all this trouble.

"It means that there's a reason you didn't let your family kill us back there. There is a reason you walked away with me instead of staying with them. Somewhere deep inside I know you remember."

I scoffed. "Remember what? Remember how you tried to kill my mate and my brother, remember how you tortured all those humans when we were together, remember how you manipulated me to get me to talk to you? Yeah, I remember all those things perfectly, the same way I remember every other terrible thing you've done." I finished with a snarl and Victoria went quite for a long moment afterwards. She knew what I'd said was true and there was no denying any of it.

Since we were on the honesty path I decided to ask a question that had been burning a hole inside me since we left the others.

"You said Bella was safe. Was that a lie?" She rolled her eyes so hard I was sure they'd get stuck to the back of her head. Agonizingly slow, she shook her head 'no' and for the first time in hours I felt true relief.

"Why did you do it?" I knew she hated humans but in the past her actions had always seemed to follow some sort of pattern or rationale. Her first attack on Bella seemed impulsive and ill-conceived, but even more importantly it was inefficient. As long as I'd known her I was certain that not a single target she'd ever hunted had survived…unless she was careless.

"Isn't it obvious? I wanted to hurt you Alice, the same way you just wanted to hurt me 2 minutes ago! I wanted to rip the one person you cared about most from your life because I can't stand to imagine you with anyone else!" My eyes went wide and my mouth opened and closed exactly three times before I settled on simply saying nothing. I couldn't have heard that correctly, right? She couldn't be implying what I thought she was. "We do mean something more to each other and it's why you protected us back there, because you felt it. It's why I came back here to save you." She took a few steps forward which I countered by taking a few backwards. I felt hot like someone had suddenly turned the heat up on Oregon and I was certain that -mentally- I was sweating bullets. I was conflicted on which part of her statement to focus on but thankfully my cowardice made the decision easy as I picked the least confrontational subject. "Save me from what?" I asked tentatively.

She was visibly annoyed that I'd disregarded the former statement but she didn't neglect my question. Again she stepped closer and I did my best to resist moving away. I didn't want her close to me or touching me. Knowing what I knew now, it suddenly felt wrong and betraying. Once there was only a foot or two between us she lifted her sleeve revealing the mark I'd seen twice already. The same mark that made Carlisle turn into stone at the very sight of it. "You saw this back there, didn't you?"

I nodded. "What is it?"

"It's the symbol of the Volturi. This scar is given to any vampire that is recruited or who chooses to join the Volturi." The Volturi? Carlisle had mentioned them occasionally but he never seemed comfortable talking about them at length. He'd known one of the leaders a long time ago but they'd parted ways centuries ago and, as far as I knew, hadn't been in contact since. Even though we didn't know much about the Volturi, Carlisle and Esme had been adamant that we all abide by their rules so that we never had the misfortune of being hauled into "vampire court." There were only three rules that stood out:

No conspicuous hunting.

No one is to ever bite or turn a child.

And lastly, we must never expose ourselves to humans.

I suppose two out of 3 isn't too bad. At least I hoped so for Bella and my own sake. Surely, there had to be some kind of exception for mates? Not to mention Bella could still choose to become one of us (I hoped) and it would solve that problem completely.

I tried to focus as Victoria continued. "For over ten years I belonged to them. Whatever they asked of me I did it without hesitation." She seemed both proud and saddened by that fact. "I wasn't the only one either. Laurent and James were members before I was." I wasn't surprised they worked for the same people, the three of them were always thick as thieves. I'm sure if Victoria had suddenly decided to take up occupation as a chimney sweeper James and Laurent would be following with buckets and a broom.

"None of this has anything to do with me. Whatever the three of you did to upset them is your problem, not mine." I shoved her arm away, hiding the branded mark from view.

"Alice, you're not listening." She sighed heavily, as if the words were becoming harder and harder to conjure. "I'm trying to tell you that I didn't meet you in some backwater mental hospital in Mississippi. The first time we met was on the doorstep of Volterra but back then you were only a child and you were still human."

I laughed. I literally laughed, clutching at my side to soothe the tightness it caused in my stomach.

I couldn't help it, that idea was so preposterous laughing was to only suitable reaction. "You're unbelievable. You're willing to make up any lie you can think of to get me to stay with you. How desperate are you?" I spat.

"Desperate enough to tell you the truth. Just because you don't remember something doesn't mean it never happened."

She was just teasing me and I was fed up with her games. "I've had enough of this. Let's go, take me to Bella." I wasn't laughing anymore, my anger had fully returned. I gave her my back but felt strong hands spin me around quickly after, slamming me into the trunk of a tree and keeping me there.

"You have to listen to me!" Her eyes were wild but within them I recognized her distress. "You were brought to Volterra when you were only nine years old. You were the only human that was spared among an entire town that was slaughtered during a hunt. You got lucky because it was Aro who found you and not any of the other vampires. He's a vampire with tremendous power and the moment he touched you he was able to read your entire past. With a single touch he learned of you psychic ability and that was the only reason you were kept alive." Once she saw that she had my attention and I wasn't going to try to walk away again she eased up and relented the pressure on my shoulders. "Aro is what you might call a…_collector_. He is constantly working to expand his control by recruiting only the strongest and most powerful vampires. So, naturally the possibility of a precognitive vampire in his ranks was an opportunity that could not be ignored." She inhaled a deep, unnecessary, breath as she combed her hands through her hair with a look of irritation. The cracks on her face had disappeared and returned her usual flawless complexion, but her expression was dark and I worried what she would say next.

Honestly, I was starting to believe she was telling the truth.

"Every vampire knows immortal children are forbidden and turning a child is punishable by death. Vampire children are uncontrollable and aren't culpable for their actions, they can't control their thirst. Even Aro couldn't ignore the law against turning a kid. That's why he assigned me to keep guardianship over you until you matured. Afterwards, he was going to turn you himself and use your gifts for expansion. For years you were all he could talk about...until it all went downhill. By the time you were 18 the politics in Volterra had completely shifted. Aro's power was challenged by his second in command, Caius. You see, while Aro had been building his trophy collection of vampires, Caius had single-handedly led a war which caused the extinction of every shape-shifter in the region. Caius wanted recognition for his victory, he wanted power. After that, things got so much worse in the castle." She looked off into the distance, remembering the events that took place. The question on my face was answered with a _'You don't want to know' _look that sent chills through my back.

I swallowed hard as she continued. "James and Laurent worked on the defensive guard at the castle gate. We all had different reasons for wanting to leave but mostly we just couldn't live under Caius's tyranny or Aro's obsession any longer. It was easy to escape since James and Laurent, literally, controlled who entered and left Volterra. The hard part was staying alive on the outside once we were blacklisted as traitors."

That still didn't explain what I had to do with any of this. If my whole life was a lie I wanted to know the full story. "What about me? Was I just a toy you dragged along for the ride?" The venom in my tone was unmistakable and Victoria scowled in disdain of my comment.

"I couldn't leave you there. Caius hates humans. You would've ended up on his dinner plate or worse, in his bed." My eyes widened. "Caius is the type of man who only pursues those he can't have or who don't want him. Once you were older and your transition date was set you definitely gained his attention." The look on my face must've revealed my shock because Victoria worked quickly to reassure me. "I didn't give him the chance. I raised you Alice, there was no way I was going to let someone else destroy you."

I felt dizzy.

I didn't even think it was possible for a vampire to feel dizzy but clearly I knew nothing about the realm of what was possible or impossible. I didn't even know who I was.

I slid down the tree I was leaning against until I felt myself hit the ground. "Why don't I remember any of this?" I rubbed circles on my temples, trying to soothe the dizziness.

Victoria crouched in front of me until her eyes were level with mine. She looked sad as she spoke. "I don't know. Once we were out of Volterra and over the country border I turned you. Even after everything that happened you still wanted to be a vampire." She tentatively rested her hand on my leg and when I did nothing to remove it she continued. "Your transition lasted longer than I'd ever seen with a vampire, almost a week, and when you woke up you didn't remember anything. At first I thought it would pass, that it was just a transitioning phase, but weeks went by and you never got your memory back. You were like a completely different person. I tried to re-introduce you to the things we were familiar with in Volterra, hoping to spark something in your mind, but you resented everything you used to enjoy and you rebelled against us. I'd known you for a decade but you didn't even remember my name."

I shook my head, wishing I could shake everything she'd just said away. This was too much. I never asked for any of it. "My parents didn't abandon me, did they?" I asked, sounding just as small as I felt.

Victoria shook her head silently. "They were killed in the hunt. I didn't want you to hate who you were or feel any apprehension about taking human life so I lied. I thought if you believed they were heartless and cruel people it would make this existence easier to understand."

"Why should I believe any of this?" I questioned, staring at my feet and hoping that she would say something that would undo everything she'd just confessed. It was a useless hope.

"You don't have a choice Alice. They're coming."

My head shot up at her words. "Why would they be coming here?! Did you send them here?" She shook her head, disregarding the panic and the accusation in my question.

"How long did you think a coven of eight vegetarian vampires could stay unnoticed? You're lucky you've lasted this long. The Volturi are scouting this region soon and, trust me, they will find your family and if you're with them they'll find you too. No one knows you're apart of that coven but once they get here it will already be too late for you to run. That's why you have to leave with me now. The Volturi are only interested in recruitment but if they discover your family has exposed themselves to a human and are aligned with wolves everyone will be killed. Do you realize how dangerous a coven your size is? With those wolves and the powers in your family you're actually a threat to them. The only possible way you can save yourselves is by joining before they sentence you, but even then your human and those wolves would never be pardoned." Her grip on my leg tightened as if she were afraid I'd shrink and disappear under the weight of her words. "Don't you get it? Even if you don't leave with me now there's no way you can stay in _this_ town. You may not remember the Volturi but they sure as hell remember you. They do terrible things to traitors and if they ever catch any of us we're dead…or worse."

There was that word again. Only this time I didn't shy away from questioning what 'worse' might have meant. "How much worse?"

Her jaw tightened. "They have vampires now with powers that can force our loyalty to them. They can take away our will and erase every connection we've ever had to anyone that we care about." For once I wish I hadn't been so inquisitive. Immediately my mind went to Bella and the notion that I could ever forget her made my stomach twist and revolt against itself. I knew there was evil in the world but I never imagined anyone could be so cruel to take someone's happiest memories and make them into something that never existed.

"How do you know all this?" For someone who had supposedly abandoned the Volturi nearly a century ago, she sure knew a lot about their plans.

She grinned as if she was already expecting that question. "I joined the Volturi with a woman named Heidi. We'd been apart of a larger coven that was exterminated for attracting suspicions. Heidi and I both had powers so we were offered a place in the guard in exchange for our lives. If you'd seen what we saw them do to our friends you'd know that it's an impossible deal to pass up. Heidi stayed with the Volturi after I left and every now and then she passes along information that she thinks might be useful to us."

I suppose that made sense. I definitely remembered that name being passed around a few times when we'd been together but I was never curious enough to ask who the woman was.

"I believe you." The surprise that registered on her face was a nice change of pace from her usual smug, know-it-all expression. It was followed by a smile so genuine that it seemed, for a moment, that she was an entirely different person altogether.

"Good." She grabbed my hands and quickly pulled me to my feet. "We can be out of the States in a few hours if we hurry now. Laurent has already taken care of our tickets and anything you left behind we can buy for you, we have more than enough money for the five of us." As she spoke she impatiently tugged me behind her in the opposite direction we'd been running. Once her words began to sink in I wiggled out of her grasp and stood still. She'd completely misread me when I'd said I believed her.

"Victoria, I'm not going to leave them. I can't come with you." Her face fell instantly and whatever part of her that had opened up to me a few moments ago was swiftly shut down behind a defensive frown.

"Why not?"

"You know what will happen to them if I leave. They're my family, I belong here with them."

"You belong with _me_!" She shouted desperately. It occurred to me in that moment what she'd said earlier about being jealous of Bella and wanting to hurt her to get to me. If everything I believed about my past was a lie, what kind of relationship did we have in Volterra? If she'd practically raised me, surely I couldn't have always hated her.

I stepped a little closer, watching her expression closely as I asked my next question. "Were we ever together? Did we..." I trailed off leaving the meaning of my question hanging in the air.

She bowed her head, appearing more docile than I'd thought possible for her personality. "No, we never went that far." I released a breath I hadn't realized I'd been keeping, nor did I need. "I loved you Alice. I _still_ do and I'm certain that if you'd never lost your memory we would still be together." Her hands found mine and I tried hard to squash the part of me that felt I was betraying Bella.

I felt as though I was seeing her for the first time. She was no longer hiding behind her defenses, or manipulations, or violent tendencies. She looked so bare, so insecure and for the first time I truly understood what it was like to be in her shoes. I understood what it was like to build a life with someone and have it ripped apart by circumstance. To hold onto fading memories that were meant for two people but have sourly become the burden of one. It was jealousy and pain that made her hate Bella and Jasper, but it was love and hope that brought her back here after all these years.

Even though my mind would never recall all the things that went on between us, somehow my heart still retained the faintest of memory. It forced me to care and it forced me to want to protect her. Yet, I couldn't turn back time. I couldn't conjure up that old version of myself to present to her like a birthday gift, all wrapped in ribbons. Life didn't work that way. Life was messy and cruel and sometimes life just wasn't fair.

Life didn't care about hurt feelings or loss and there was nothing I could do about that. I didn't love her. I couldn't love her because I already belonged to Bella.

"Victoria I'm sorry, but I can never be that person again. I wish I could remember, I _really_ do but I can't. If you really care about me you'll stop hurting me and stop hurting the people I love. You can help us deal with the Volturi together. We don't have to be enemies." I tried to communicate my sincerity with my eyes but she pointedly avoided looking at me. Her shoulders slumped and I could tell she was writing me off in her head. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. One of her hands held mine and tucked the paper into my fist.

"You can find your human at that address." Her tone was flat and dry. She had finally given up trying to convince me and, just like that, she was letting go. "James and Riley know where to met me after you return. They won't cause you any trouble."

"You could help us." I offered, knowing her insight would be indispensable if the Volturi actually were coming.

"I already have. You've got three weeks to prepare, make it count." She turned to walk away but only made it a few feet before reappearing in front of me. Slowly she leaned in and pressed her lips into my hair. "I'm sorry if I ever hurt you. Please, forgive me." Her whispered words stayed with me long after she'd walked away and vanished in the thickness of trees.

She was gone for good this time. I could feel it, it felt final. She'd pleaded her case and, after all this effort, was still forced to leave empty handed.

I unfolded the scrap of paper she'd given me, memorizing the address, before heading off in the direction the instructions indicated. Once Bella was in my arms everything would be okay again. Once Bella was close to me everything I'd learned today wouldn't hurt so much. As long as I had her I could always find a way to put myself back together.

**LisaMunoz: You're going to be seeing Bella's thoughts pretty soon. I admit I actually miss writing her. And yes, poor Eddie has it rough but I have a feeling he'll be okay…maybe. ;) I'm one of those writers that actually likes Edward so I'll try not to destroy him too much.**

**Ideliin: Oh man, I can't believe I made someone cry with that chapter. I guess that a good thing. **** Hopefully this chapter cleared up any questions you had about Carlisle's fear.**

**ScOut4It: I'm actually considering changing the story summary since I've decided to multi-chapter this story. The summary only describes the first chapter which might be confusing to some ppl. But I'm glad you're enjoying it so far!**

**ElphabaCullen: I'm a pretty big fan of surprises. I just felt like Alice's past is such an untapped goldmine of possibility. It's good to know I haven't lost anyone with the twists the story has taken so far.**

**Next chapter is already in the works. More soon!**


	24. Chapter 23: Your Hand in Mine

**A/N: Happy Easter!**

**Beta'd by: ElphabaCullen. Cheers!**

**Your Hand in Mine**

**APOV**

I stood outside the old wooden structure, staring up at the rusted numbers of the address before glancing back down at the crumpled directions in my hand. This was definitely the place. The air was ripe with the lingering scent of vampire integrated with the more powerful aroma of lumber and steel. Victoria would've never left Bella unattended but I was certain that whoever may have been here earlier was long gone by now. The screech of steel sliding across rusted tracks pierced the air like a siren as I slid the door open. Inside was about as charming as the outside; the words dark, wet and creepy immediately coming to mind. It definitely set the right mood of dereliction one would expect of a kidnapping.

I stepped inside, cringing when shards of shattered glass cracked underneath my boot heels. The entire floor was covered with wet forest matter and glass, which complimented the yellowing, paint chipped and water swollen walls nicely. Most of the windows had been broken out, no doubt the work of bored teenagers with poor impulse control, and I delicately attempted to tiptoe around the shards as I made my way across the large space.

"Bella?" I listened closely for any sound but heard only the mocking of my own echo being tossed back at me.

My eyes scanned over every inch of space looking for any indication that Bella was near, pausing only when I noticed a thin stream of light leaking into the darkened room. My feet moved me closer, never once stopping to imagine what horrors may greet me. A pile of saw blades, pipes, and other discarded equipment lay stacked, not-so-accidentally, in front of the wooden plank door where the light was escaping. I pushed the rubbish aside before pulling the door open and staring down the corridor it was concealing.

"Bella? Bella are you in here?" No answer. The silence was like a cannonball to my confidence and was slashing every modicum of calm I'd deluded myself into feeling. My hands twitched at my sides from a mix of fear and anxiety as I walked roughly two yards before reaching a slightly smaller room at the end of the corridor. It was illuminated by rows of old fluorescent lights that I was surprised were still functional. Honestly the building looked as if whoever owned it took off without so much as a "see-ya." Yet the lights still worked?

I frowned at the peculiarity of the situation but all thoughts about lighting vanished when I noticed the figure laying against the furthest wall of the room. The person's back was to me but I'd recognize the shape of her body anywhere. Underwater, in a fog, on a battlefield, _anywhere_. Back in the months when I was still hiding how I felt for her I'd spent hours memorizing every little detail that made her who she was. At nights when Jasper was away and Edward was preoccupied I'd replay her image in my head like the looping title menu of a dvd. From the contours of her lips to the tiny freckle at the base of her neck, I could never mistake her for anyone else.

I could hear the low snore of her breathing as I quietly approached her sleeping form. She was curled into a fetal position, hugging her legs to her chest as she rested on a bed of old newspapers. My heart broke at the sight and my eyes stung with the pressure of unyielding tears that I desperately wished would give me the relief of falling.

She was covered by a large leather trench coat that reeked of vampire scent, Laurent's to be exact. I shakily lowered myself beside her, gently placing a hand on her shoulder and rejoicing in the warmth that spread across my palm. I didn't think I was capable of feeling my heart ache, but that didn't stop it from swelling and bursting all in one glorious instance.

"Bella?"

**BPOV**

I pressed my eyes shut a bit tighter as I heard my name spoken in her melodic voice. I knew it wasn't real, it was just what I wanted to hear.

Perfect, on top of everything I was hallucinating.

I guess I should've expected that even dreams of Alice were far too powerful to keep tucked away in my subconscious, and sooner or later they were bound to leak out into the world. I'd hoped that sleep would offer some relief to my mental and physical exhaustion but now that I was awake, greeted by a never-ending headache and hallucinatory voices, it was clear no good had come from it.

Had Laurent not truly been the gentleman that Victoria boasted he was I would never have taken the risk of laying vulnerable to him. He was a man of few words but his actions spoke volumes about his true character. He hadn't threatened me, made any snide comments about the scent of my blood, or laid a single harmful hand on me. Honestly, he seemed a bit restless, constantly checking his watch and disappearing several times on occasion only to return seeming even more anxious. I wasn't sure who was more eager to get the hell out of this place, me or him.

I didn't know how long I'd been asleep this time or whether Laurent would still be sitting on the crate behind me when I looked over my shoulder. All I knew was that I'd been dreaming of Alice and I wanted so badly to return to that fictional realm in my mind where everything was lovely and perfect. I wanted so badly to escape this reality where all I had was her fading voice in my ear and the promise of disappointment when I turned over to find that she wasn't there.

"Bella?" This time the voice was louder, more firm. I ignored it, attempting to hold onto the last remnants of my sanity.

"It's okay Bella. I'm here now, you're safe." I'd heard those words before, and the last time I gave into them I'd woken up with a redhead attached to my wrist.

"No…" I covered my ears trying to drown out that beautiful voice that was like salt to open wounds in this desolate place. I hugged myself tighter, clutching at the edges of Laurent's coat trying to find some warmth, until cold petal-like lips brushed lightly against my temple. My body turned to stone at the touch and I could feel my breaths coming in rapid succession, as my heart desperately attempted to punch through my ribcage. There really was someone behind me. I wasn't imagining things.

As if to prove her authenticity she whispered the one thing she knew I would never mistake for fallacy. "I'm _never _pulling away Bella." The tips of her hair tickled my ear as she leaned in, validating her presence even further.

The tears came automatic, sliding freely down my cheeks for what seemed like the hundredth time today. Slowly I rolled onto my back, keeping my eyes shut until I was parallel with the ground. I peeked my eyes open hesitantly, as if any abrupt movement would collapse the moment in on itself like a fallen soufflé.

Rich amber eyes connected with my, likely bloodshot and weary, eyes and suddenly I was home again.

"You're here." I croaked, my voice coarse from the sudden influx of emotion. I didn't wait for a response as my arms quickly wrapped themselves around her neck, pulling her flush against me. The tears were coming more frequently now but I could focus on nothing but Alice. The desperation of Alice's hold matched my own, both of us determined to hug so tightly that we fused into one person. I swallowed roughly to keep my heart from forming a permanent lump in my throat, not even bothered that my headache was pulsing even more aggressively because of my crying. Nothing else mattered. Alice was like morphine, numbing all the pain, and I burrowed my face into the curve of her neck inhaling her like a drug.

"_You're here_." I repeated disbelievingly. Despite my hopes of being rescued I realized that apart of me had given up. At some point during the night I'd resigned myself to the possibility that I might not make it out of here alive. It's a strange feeling to lose all hope and then have it so abruptly restored with a single embrace. I imagine it's something akin to how a fish must feel to be baited, hooked, photographed, then released back into the water to live again.

Her hands traced patterns on my back to ease my tears and relax my admittedly fragile state. I'd been damn near hysterics when she'd arrived but after a long while she finally managed to subdue my frantic condition. Carefully she pulled back to survey my face and body, checking that I hadn't been hurt and I cringed knowing the rather obvious injury she was bound to notice. As expected her eyes fell to the bloody cloth tied around my wrist and her expression went dark like someone had flipped off a light switch.

Dammit.

I'd expected to at least have a few minutes to celebrate before we were confronted with the serious stuff again.

"Bella…what is this?" She reached for my arm to inspect it but I held it to my chest, covering it with my other hand.

"Wait, don't get upset." Telling your vampire girlfriend not to be upset about being bitten, and nearly drained, by another vampire was like trying to stop Wes Craven from making those ridiculous Scream movies. It was never going to happen. "I'm okay." I tried quickly to reassure her but the blackness of her eyes and her violently clenching jaw told me I was less than successful.

She was barely able to speak through gritted teeth and a tight frown. "Let me see it." Her hand shook with thinly subdued rage as she outstretched it between us to capture my wrist. I relented, allowing her to take my hand, pulling the cloth away to reveal the perfectly pierced indentation of teeth and partially dried blood. A muffled noise bubbled up in her throat, sounding like a pained mix between a sob and a scream. Her eyes became glossy but never shed a tear, completely unable to express the sadness she so obviously felt. Unable to look at the wound any longer Alice gently slid the cloth back into place to cover it. If possible, her faced drained of all color. She looked as if she was going to be sick.

For a moment she didn't say anything but when she finally found her voice it was small and thick with tension. "W-who was it?" Though her eyes were still black as midnight, to her credit her hold on my wrist remained controlled and tender. I didn't know if I should offer up the name, figuring it would do more damage to her already seething temper, but avoidance of topic would only cause unnecessary stress.

"James." The responding growl was accompanied by bared teeth that sent my heart pounding and the hairs on my neck to a standstill. I'd never seen Alice so upset.

"Alice please, it's over now. Let's just get out of here. I just want to go home." My plea seemed to reach her through the haze of fury that was slowly turning the atmosphere even more volatile, and I felt some relief that no matter how far gone Alice was I could always bring her back. She turned to stare at me with dark unfocused eyes and I could practically see the gears turning in her head, the struggle to overcome primal instinct in favor of rationality. It took a minute or two for her to regain complete control over her emotions, but she did.

"Can you stand?" I nodded as she helped me to my feet. Laurent's trench draped baggily over my shoulders, at least two sizes too large for me. I slipped my arms into the sleeves, cinching the waist with the leather belt to make it fit a bit tighter. Alice looked at the coat with obvious distaste but kept silent knowing it was the only thing keeping me warm. If she hadn't been so minimally dressed in a thin bomber jacket, tank top, and slim fit jeans I'm sure she would have offered up her own clothes. Even though it was a snowballs chance in hell that I could squeeze into anything Alice owned. She did however, replace the ragged cloth covering my bite with the scarf she wore, taking a not-so-subtle sniff of the soiled bandage before discarding it. I wasn't sure if it was the smell of my blood or the scent of Victoria that made her eyes grow that much darker. I disregarded the entire thing and reminded myself to wear layers next time I was taken hostage by vampires.

"Bella?" Her expression was serious, eyes trained piercingly on me. "If anything worse than this had happened to you I'd _never_ forgive myself."

The truth of that statement weighed heavy in my gut like a lead balloon. We'd come so close to losing everything. It was scary.

"I know." I couldn't find it in myself to reassure her again that I was okay, not believing it myself at the moment. Yesterday morning seemed like an eternity ago. Only hours ago I was breaking up with Edward and then being taken hostage by vampires who had every intention of killing me. I wasn't okay. I was far from being okay, but Alice didn't need to know that. Not now.

"Is Edward…" I trailed off, letting my question hang in the air. I didn't want to vocalize the thought that fleetingly passed through my mind. I couldn't imagine the condition Edward was in given that I was just barely alive myself.

"He's banged up but he'll be okay." She looked down at her feet somewhat guiltily. "I don't think they ever intended on killing him. Victoria just needed a way to get him out of the way of protecting you." I couldn't shake the feeling that what she was saying sounded remarkably like a defense of Victoria's actions. I bit my tongue at the impulse to question where she'd been before Edward and I were attacked and why she'd neglected to answer my call. Jacob had answered in only half a ring and Edward had nearly died trying to defend me alone. All the while Alice, the person I trusted and relied on the most, had been completely absent. I swallowed those thoughts of betrayal like a pill that was too large. I didn't want to be mad at Alice. I _wasn't_ mad at Alice. It was fatigue that was making me think that way. I just needed some rest.

"Are you ready?" I nodded and Alice scooped me into her arms. She tucked my head into her shoulder to shield from the force of the wind once she took off running.

I had no idea where Laurent had disappeared to but I had a feeling his absence wasn't a matter of coincidence. It didn't matter. In fact it was better that he'd gone because there was no telling what Alice would've done to him if he'd stuck around. I couldn't cope with watching another vampire fight.

We were only on our way for about 20 minutes when Alice slowed down and set me on my feet. Knowing my question was imminent she quickly supplied an explanation.

"I can't run the entire way. It's a two hour run and it'll make your stomach sick." I knew not to argue with her reasoning, instead looking around to see where we'd stopped. We were a few feet from the edge of the forest, where a two-lane highway cut through the dense region of trees. Seeing signs of civilization was more than a little comforting given the hell hole I'd just come from and I took a deep inhale of the fresh air.

"There's a gas station down the road." I looked in the direction she was pointing, just making out the outline of the tiny self-serve station beside the road a few yards away. "I'll get what we need. Can you wait for me here?" I knew why she asked that. A bleeding, questionably dressed girl in this weather would certainly attract more negative attention than good, but her expression made it clear that leaving me alone (if only for a second) was something she never wanted to do again.

"Yeah, just hurry." She hesitated for a moment, opening her mouth to say what I can only assume would have been a somber apology, but decided against it and offered only a solemn nod before leaving a second later. I shuffled from foot to foot attempting to create enough kinetic energy to keep warm, to no avail. Giving up, I shrank into the soil as I waited for her to return, cradling my head in my hands and wondering just how deep the scars of this day were going to be. I doubted some R&R would be all it took to shake the memories into submission.

Since learning about the existence of the supernatural I'd honestly never felt any real sense of danger. Despite everything I was told and every piece of evidence I saw that suggested I was playing with fire, I'd idealized their entire lifestyle as something safe. Believing I was somehow untouchable, like a lamb under the protection of wolves. The truth was that I was weak in their world and I couldn't defend myself; any more than an ant could defend itself from a kid with a magnifying glass. Worst of all was the recognition that _they_ couldn't protect me either. At least not all the time. I sighed. It shouldn't have been this difficult.

Loving someone wasn't supposed to be this hard.

I tossed my head back, forcing myself not to think, as I stared up into the canopy of trees. The sky was in that ambiguous transition phase between night and morning, a dark cobalt blue. Charlie was going to shit a solid gold brick when I finally made it home. I would have to think of a lie that would pacify him enough that I wouldn't end up grounded until I was thirty.

I stayed in that position, looking at the dawn sky, until I heard tires rolling along the gravel beside the road. I looked down just in time to see Alice stepping out of an older model brown sedan. I looked at the car, then Alice, then back to the car questioningly.

"Someone just gave you their car?" I asked quirking an eyebrow as she approached.

"Not exactly." She swooped me up placing me in the passenger seat before flooring the gas and speeding away in a cloud of dust.

"You _stole_ it?"

"What did you think I meant when I said I was getting what we needed?" She asked innocently as she cranked the heat on high and opened the vents nearest to me.

"I don't know. An antacid? Pepto bismol? What if they call the police?" Call me naïve but last time I checked stealing a car was illegal. Though perhaps it was just the sheriff's daughter part of me that thought that.

"They won't. Not until tomorrow and by then I'll have sent in a tip to where it is. Whoever it belongs to will have it back before dinnertime." Her voice was calm, no doubt attempting to inspire the same measure of control in me. She reached into a plastic bag in the backseat, one hand on the wheel as the other searched, pulling out a bottle of water and two protein bars. She dropped the items into my lap, motioning for me to eat as she kept her eyes fixed on the road.

Even though I hadn't eaten all day the mere thought of eating solid food made my stomach turn over in defiance. I was far too wound up to eat anything. I pushed the items away sourly, much to Alice's displeasure.

"Please Bella. Even if you're not hungry you should at least drink something. You're probably dehydrated." She said, concern evident in her eyes. Not wanting to disappoint her and unable to deny the pleading in her tone, I reached for the water and took a few deep sips.

The small car warmed up quickly and I was thankful for the necessary change in temperature. I pulled my legs into my chest, shrinking into my seat with my head rested on my knees. I was exhausted in every sense of the word. Now that the initial endorphin rush of being rescued had expired my body felt leaden and overworked. If today had proved anything it was that I had no control over anything that was happening around me. My entire emotional fabric was frayed at the edges and unraveling more and more with every click of time.

I was scared.

Scared that James would come back and finish what he started. Scared that Alice would rediscover some hidden loyalty to the coven she'd deserted all those years ago. Scared that no matter how happy we were, or how "okay" everything appeared, it could all be gone in an instant. As if to emphasize my point the bite on my wrist suddenly began to throb. I sincerely hoped there were no adverse effects to "almost" becoming a vampire. I didn't know much about the logistics of vampire bites, but if graphic novels and too much Discovery channel had taught me anything it was that a simple bite could do a lot of damage.

I frowned as my fingers scratched feverously at the wound through my bandage. I wasn't sure if it was actually hurting me or if I was just nursing hypochondriac fears. Alice's hand on mine stopped me before I could do any further damage. Her eyes remained fixed on the road ahead, I think she was afraid to look down at the wound again. Afraid to be reminded of what James had done and of what she was unable to prevent.

It wasn't her fault. Not a single piece of it. But knowing Alice she would internalize everything. She would be harder on herself than reasonable and it would break my heart to watch her pick herself apart.

I brought her hand to my lap, covering it with both of my own in what I hope was a comforting gesture, before threading her fingers with mine.

"Alice?" I could feel her eyes turn on me, watching as I brought her hand to my lips and kissed it tenderly. "I love you."

It was quiet for a few moments before she responded in a voice slightly shakier than normal. "I love you too."

**So, whoop whoop Bella and Alice are back together. Let me know what you think in the comments section below or what on your mind so far.**

**Btw, for a little fun I'll send a brief excerpt to the next chapter to anyone who can guess what band the story title comes from. *mwwhahaha, strokes chin maniacally***

**stay classy folks!**


	25. Chapter 24: Killer Inside Me

**Killer Inside Me**

**A/N: This chapter is much longer than most to compensate for my unavoidable writer's block.**

**Big ups to my amazing Beta ElphabaCullen!**

An hour later and the view outside my window was finally showing signs of familiarity. I leaned my head against the foggy glass, watching lazily as drops of condensation chased each other to the bottom of the pane. We passed Charlie's barbershop, the public library, then the music store Angela used to drag me to on Saturdays; each place radiated the sense of safety that accompanied being home and for the first time all morning I was beginning to feel at ease. I only wished the feeling was contagious because Alice clearly wasn't experiencing the same level of comfort.

She drove purposefully, never moving her concentration from the road for more than a few seconds at a time. Her body was inhumanly still, her fist gripped the steering wheel like it was a rock of coal she was pressing into a diamond and a permanent look of discontent marred her face most of the ride. It seemed the longer we drove the more tense she became. The only time her eyes weren't planted on the road were when they were stealing subtle glances at my bandaged wrist, her face twisting into a wounded scowl each time seconds afterward. It was obvious -at least to me- that she was still kicking herself for what happened with James. I knew it was asking a lot -considering how personal this situation was for Alice- but I wished she'd let it go. There was nothing either of us could do to change what happened, so harping on and on about it was pointless. Yesterday was like a nightmare that I was slowly waking from and more than willing to forget. I could hardly remember what life was like before Victoria rolled into town and turned everything on its axis.

I just wanted things back to normal.

I just wanted my life back.

Our ride back to Washington was traveled mostly in thick silence. I'd manage to squeeze some answers from Alice about how she'd found me and what would happen next with a few delicately phrased questions. After several inquiries however, it became clear that she was withholding something significant. I wasn't sure if it was because she wore her emotions on her sleeve, or if I was just really good at reading her, but I always knew when Alice was hiding something.

And this time she was definitely concealing something big. Like I'm-A-Vampire type of Big. Not wanting to add fuel to the fire I decided to hold off on telling her that Victoria had been the one to stop the transformation after James bit me. I didn't even want to contemplate what kind of emotional rabbit-hole she'd sink into if I delivered that news at the wrong time, but omitting it felt just as wrong.

It was weird but based on the stories I'd heard of Laurent and Victoria I'd expected them to be -I don't know…meaner? More sinister? More animalistic? Granted breaking my arm in a car crash, kidnapping me, then forcing me to spend an entire day in a moldy, abandoned building, believing I was going to die was pretty damn bad. In fact, bad didn't even begin to cover what they'd done. I just didn't expect them to be so _human_. Laurent had been courteous when he could've been heartless and Victoria had not only saved my life but preserved my humanity. Either I was developing the most rapid case of Stockholm Syndrome known to man, or there was more to the story that I didn't understand.

More to them that I didn't understand.

I desperately wanted to know what was going on and I hated that everything important had to be explained to me like a 5 year old by the people around me. Even worse I hated that there were things Alice refused to tell me. I thought we'd gotten over keeping secrets a long time ago and I couldn't help feeling like we were taking a huge step backwards.

As we approached my street Alice made a right, avoiding my house and leading us in the direction of hers. I was happy that she knew where I wanted to go without my saying it but worried what would await me once I finally went home. Even if I'd wanted to go back there was no way I could just stroll in at 8a.m. wearing pajama shorts, a men's large trench coat and with bags under my eyes the size of suitcases. My father would think I was on drugs and probably lock me in my room so long that I'd start talking to imaginary people in the wallpaper. Besides, I wasn't going home without seeing Edward first. My eternal grounding could wait until afterwards.

We pulled up outside of the Cullen's mansion 15mins later. I tore off my safety-belt and unlocked my door, setting one foot on the pavement only to realize that Alice hadn't moved and the car engine was still running.

I paused, my face falling at the sight of her ever-present frown. "You're not coming inside?" I asked, eyeing her curiously when she kept her eyes trained on the front windshield instead of looking at me.

"Not yet. There's something I need to do." I swallowed hard, those words sounded like the beginning of a conversation train wreck that I certainly wasn't ready to be a passenger on. I'd have to be blind -or stupid- not to know what that "something" was. I decided to just bite the bullet, pulling my foot back into the car and shutting the door.

"Don't."

"Don't what?" At least I'd gotten her attention.

"You _know_ what." She obviously planned on pretending and I had to give her credit her poker face was awesome. "Alice, in case you haven't noticed this has been a _really_ bad morning. In fact it's the worst." I gestured lazily to my unkempt state and her eyes followed my hands before exhaling a deeply apologetic sigh. I knew it was low but I wasn't above guilt-tripping if it would keep her here with me. "The only thing that could possibly make it worse is you going back to Carlisle and the others just for some petty revenge with James." Her eyes widened incredulously as she geared up to deny it but I held up a hand to silence the interjection. "I know you're angry -so am I- but I don't want anyone fighting for me if it can be avoided."

Judging by her obstinate expression I knew I'd been right in my guess, but she seemed resolute about her decision.

Damn, vampires could be so stubborn.

She pinched the bridge of her nose and exhaled a deep breath, finally letting go of the steering wheel revealing a fist shaped groove in the plastic as she turned in her seat to face me. "This isn't a game Bella. He bit you! You're _my _mate and he drank from you." I loved the way the word 'mate' sounded in her voice, and I couldn't resist the blossoming sense of pride I felt at hearing it, but I figured now wouldn't be the best time to fawn over Alice's possessiveness.

"I remember, I was there." I said evenly, hoping I could inspire her to relax if I kept calm.

No such luck.

"Do you understand what that means to me?" No. I didn't understand…not even close. Our relationship had evolved so quickly we hadn't made time to talk about the things that really mattered, like what being mated to someone actually meant. Edward had always described it as a unyielding pull towards someone -like a tug on your heart or a net catching your thoughts- which in his case was almost always motivated by his thirst. I didn't think the same rules applied to Alice. Sure, she was a vampire so naturally she was drawn to the scent of human blood, but it never seemed to dictate her feelings towards me.

Apparently I'd taken too long to answer because Alice was speaking again, the words "hurt", "kill" and "sorry" immediately shaking me out of my distraction. By the time I tuned back in I only managed to catch the tail end of her sentence but the five words that I heard froze me completely.

"I swear I'll kill him." There was no room for interpretation in her tone, the message was completely unambiguous and for the first time ever I saw hatred in those sweet golden eyes. I knew she would do everything in her power to honor that pledge and that's what worried me most.

"Don't say that."

"I mean it."

"Don't mean it." I didn't want what happened yesterday to change the people that we were. Alice wasn't a killer. Despite whatever may have happened in her past and everything that Victoria had told me, I knew Alice wasn't a killer and I'd be damned if I was the reason she became one. She was honest, and sensitive, and everything I ever imagined goodness could be. She just needed a little reminding, that's all.

"Why not?" At this point she was nearly shouting, all the frustration she'd pent up during the ride home beginning to spill over, but I knew it wasn't directed at me rather at the situation.

"I couldn't stop them from taking you, or what they did to Edward, or the crash that almost killed you. This is the one thing I can fix and I'm not going to let it slip away. I don't care what deal we made with them there's no way I'm not giving that bastard a free pass. What he did was even worse than a threat to your life, you could've turned Bella. You could have turned! He almost took away your choice." Her voice was filled with equal amounts of anger, frustration and sadness and her eyes drilled into me with a determined pleading that nearly chipped away at my resolve.

"But I didn't turn, and the only thing he took from me was your ability to look at me without cringing." She chewed on her lip a bit guiltily knowing I was right. Every time her eyes landed on me it was like she was reminded of what happened all over again. It certainly didn't bode very well for my self confidence. "I know you're strong but being immortal doesn't make you invincible." Alice let out a sharp humorless laugh and I narrowed my eyes at the flippant response. I knew she thought I was being naïve but the fact was that I didn't give a damn about James. I cared about _her_. I'd seen what those vampires were capable of firsthand. Riley handled Edward with all the ease of a heavyweight boxer fighting a member of the Forks High wrestling team. Her anger was fogging her judgment and it would no doubt obstruct her fighting if she tried to take on James. If there was even a 1% chance that Alice could get hurt I wouldn't risk it. My pride and my supposed honor wasn't that important to me.

"I know what I'm talking about Alice. I saw what Riley did to Edward, it was horrible and I don't want that to happen to you. If they agreed to leave -and you think they're being honest- just let them go."

"Let them go? How can you even say that after what they put you through?" She tapped the dirty blue plaster of my cast and gestured vaguely to my other wrist where the bite lay. "I have to do something. It's my job to protect you."

"Your _job_?" I huffed, running my hand through my hair in irritation. She made it sound like I was a 9 to 5 she dreaded carpooling to every morning. "I didn't realize being with me was such an enormous burden." I snapped.

"You know what I mean." I did, but it didn't make her phrasing hurt any less. "All I ever wanted to do was make you happy but look at what's happened! It just keeps getting worse and you shouldn't have to keep dealing with all this. This isn't even your fight Bella."

What did that mean? She was my girlfriend, of course it was my fight. "If it's your fight then it's mine. We're together. Whatever you're going through is my business too. I don't care what happens to me as long as we're together."

"Well, you should care. Because it's all I can ever think about." Something in her tone told me she wasn't just talking about James anymore.

"Where is all this coming from? Tell me what's wrong." I prodded, sobering the irritation was previously in my voice into something kinder. It was obvious she had something else on her mind and my words were all the encouragement she needed before the truth came tumbling out.

"_Everything_ is wrong." She whined. "Look around you Bella." She gestured wildly in the tiny space inside the car. "This is my life! It's not a fairy tale. It's dangerous, and unpredictable, and full of things even I can't control." She took both of my hands in hers staring down at them with a frown. "This is what you get when you're with me, you get hurt. There's only so many times I can save you before I can't anymore and I hate wondering if the next time is going to be the last."

"Alice, there is no 'next time'. It's over. Victoria and Laurent are gone, James and Riley aren't a threat anymore. Everything is going to be fine." Her eyes drifted shut as she shrank into the driver's seat. It was setting my nerves on edge that she didn't seem to believe what I'd said, nor was she confirming my notion that we weren't in danger anymore.

"Everything is fine, right?" My voice was smaller, less confident, and my heart rate increased in time with the stretching silence. Her reaction -or lack of- made it clear that everything was NOT fine, nor would it be for a while.

What had Victoria said to her when they were alone? Did she hurt her? Scare her? Is that why Alice was so upset? Is that why she was working so hard to push me away?

I wasn't sure if it was jealousy or annoyance that made the idea of Victoria alone with Alice so displeasing to me. Even though my time with the redheaded vampire had been brief it was obvious, based on her reaction whenever Alice's name came up, that she cared about her. It was so blatant it may as well have been written on her forehead in Sharpie marker. Most of all it was the way she said Alice's name, softer and with more consideration than any other words, like a package of fine china she feared would break if handled to roughly. The sickness that I felt bubbling up in the pit of my stomach was definitely jealousy.

Alice opened her mouth to speak then decided against it. I could practically see the words threatening to leap from her lips but with one final glance in my direction she turned away from me, staring straight ahead like a zombie as if the conversation we'd just had didn't happen.

"I'll wait out here for Carlisle. You should go in now, Edward will be relieved to know you're okay. Borrow some of my clothes to change into and get rid of that coat." I didn't know if I should've been offended that there wasn't a single question mark in anything she'd said. We both knew her clothes were too small but I had a feeling her reasoning was based on the possessive need to never have the scent of anyone else on me again. Especially another vampire. I waited for her to say more, to look at me, or give any indication that we were alright but her eyes stayed glued to the window in front of her, blindly ignoring the disappointment radiating from my side of the car.

"Take all the time you need." If I sounded bitter it was probably because I was. How was I supposed to feel when the first thing that happened when we arrived home was an argument? I pushed the door open roughly, listening as the hinges squeaked in protest, before slamming it shut as hard as my fatigued muscles would allow. I suppose I should have been relieved that her anger towards James had been redirected to undeservedly towards me, so at least I didn't need to worry she would do something reckless, but I wasn't.

Was this a fight? It certainly had all the symptoms of a fight but for the life of me I couldn't figure out how we'd ended up arguing with each other when there were at least four other people who deserved our resentment.

**APOV**

It took all the restraint I had not to go chasing after her. To tell her I was sorry and plead for her understanding. I hated seeing Bella angry, especially at me and especially after everything she'd been through. It felt weird to have her upset with me, like an irregular shirt that didn't fit right no matter which way you wore it. Of all the people that I was mad at Bella was not even close to being one of them. All I'd wanted to do since finding her was cuddle up to her, hold her tightly and whisper how much I loved her in every language my tongue could form words to. Instead I'd lashed out and shut her out. I'd let my annoyance over the situation overflow onto the one person I cared about most.

She didn't understand how wrong everything was...how wrong _I _was. She trusted me to make things better when I knew that they would only be getting worse. It had been my responsibility to protect her and I'd let her down again, and again and again, but still she wanted me. Why?

How could she be so forgiving?

How could I expect her to stay with me once she knew who I really was? Once she knew the danger that will arrive on our doorstep in 3 weeks? I was trying to give her an out, trying to make her realize the risk involved in staying with me was greater than just my bloodlust now. There were vampires that wanted to hurt us, kill her and punish me for a past I didn't even remember.

I needed her. I _loved_ her, but my love was going to get her killed.

**BPOV**

Once inside I leaned my head back against the door and closed my eyes. I wasn't mad, mostly I was sad. Sad because what happened yesterday was already beginning to change us in the worst of ways.

I'm drawn out of my thoughts when I hear familiar male voice shout my name. My eyes blink open just in time to see Seth rounding the corner of the living room, making a beeline towards me. His smile was bright but slightly eclipsed by the suspicion in his eyes. It was as if he hadn't believed he'd see me again. He stopped just short of hugging me, bristling when he caught Laurent's scent on the trench coat before quickly recovering and bringing his arms around my shoulders in a friendly embrace.

"Oh my god, everyone has been so worried about you! What happened? Where did they take you? You're bleeding. Why are you wearing that coat? It smells Bella." His rambling provoked the first real smile I'd had in days and his light-hearted nature immediately set my body at ease, making me aware of how tense I was prior. If only for a moment he'd made me forget entirely about my troubles with a certain pixie.

"Alice found me." It was all I said in terms of an answer, mostly because I didn't know a whole lot more than that, and it was the only part that really mattered.

"What about the bloodsuckers that took you? Where are they? Are they dead? What about Jake and my sister? Have you seen them? Are they okay?" His expression grew darker with every question that fell from his lips.

"Whoa, slow down Seth." I smiled, hoping to lift his fallen face and relax him a bit. "As far as I know everyone is fine. The coven that attacked us agreed to leave Forks. I think it's over." I hoped it was. Seth looked like he had more to ask but he seemed to pick up on the fact that I didn't know very much and even if I did I really wasn't in the mood to play 21 questions. I glanced towards the stairway anxiously and Seth stepped aside, catching on to what I was thinking.

"I told Esme I'd watch over him. He's doing a lot better than earlier but it might be a while before he's at 100%." Once again I was reminded of why I liked this kid so much. I couldn't think of any other pack member who would willingly volunteer to play bodyguard and nurse to a vampire. Even Jake would've put up a little resistance if he'd been tasked with being alone with Edward.

"Thank you for being here." I said, hugging him one more time in earnest.

"It's no big deal." He shrugged modestly before stepping back into the living room to give me some space.

I took the steps in two's reaching Edward's room in a matter of seconds. My hand hesitated at the doorknob before pulling away to quickly squirm out of the trench coat and toss it a safe distance away. Even though I was sure that the scent was probably clinging to every pore of my body at least it wouldn't be so blatant.

Inside the room was bright as the morning sun cascaded through the windows, illuminating every inch of the space in a haze of golden light. I immediately spotted Edward laying on his bed. He was on his back with his head rested on a large pillow, one hand lay across his abdomen while the other rested at his side, his eyes were closed and his mouth was fixed into a thin tight line. Had I been unaware that he was a vampire I might've mistaken his position for sleep.

He looked somewhat out of place on the king size pallet, like a visitor in his own room. He'd never had use for a bed before and only bought it after insisting that I needed a comfortable place to sleep when I stayed overnight. In fact, as I took the time to look around, I noticed that his room was filled with things he had no use for. Things reserved only for me. Clothes he didn't wear, cd's he didn't listen to, a bottled water on the bookcase he couldn't drink. It was like a shrine to our failed relationship. I wondered if a few days from now we'd be exchanging cardboard boxes full of each other's belongings, or would he simply sit my things on Alice's door step and walk away.

I decided to push those thoughts to the back burner of my mind as I crouched beside his bed. Rays of sunlight from the window behind me framed my body, hitting select areas of his bare chest and igniting them in diamond like form. It was because he was shirtless that I noticed the scars immediately. There weren't very many, most were either healed or fading, but a few remained as a temporary reminder of the attack. My index traced over a particularly jagged line zigzagging down the middle his chest. The scar was in stark contrast to his otherwise immaculate skin. I'd never seen what vampire wounds looked like. It seemed completely out of place on his body just as he seemed entirely out of place on his bed.

"They'll disappear soon." His voice startled me from my hypnotic state, drawing my attention to dark, weary eyes. I smiled, feeling my eyes water just at the sound of his voice.

"You're up?" I wasn't sure he'd be able to speak in his condition.

"Always am." He joked as he shakily pushed himself to a sitting position.

He was trying to lighten the mood with humor but it was heartbreaking seeing him like this. "I'm so s-"

"Bella, if you even think of apologizing I'll consider it an insult." He interjected with a wry smile. "Besides, I clearly didn't do a very good job of helping you. You look awful." I mocked a look of offense and he playfully held up his hand in surrender. I slipped off my sneakers and crawled into the space beside him. If felt good to be near him, to know that he was okay and to be able to talk to him when I thought I might never have the chance again.

"I never thought I'd say this but, you look terrible too."

"At least we can look awful together." He laughed but stopped abruptly a moment later as he gripped his side with a cringe.

"Does it hurt?" I asked placing my hand against the side he'd been clutching as if I could somehow magically heal all wounds.

"Not much anymore, mostly just stiffness. I think my ego took the brunt of the damage. It's been a long time since I've fought a newborn. I'd forgotten how strong they are." He glanced to his left, trailing his eyes down my body critically before landing on the bloody scarf wrapped around my wrist.

"Does that hurt?" He asked nodding towards the bandage. His eyes held concern but not anger, and in the spirit of keeping them free of any animosity I resisted any urge to show or tell him what was under the scarf.

"Not _me_." My tone was noticeably clipped, my mind drifting back to Alice and the pain on her face when I'd shown her the bite, and Edward gave me a funny look. "Don't worry, everything's fine now. They barely laid a hand on me. Victoria is leaving and no one was killed. I think we're all pretty lucky." I rushed out the words somewhat unconvincingly as I leaned my head onto his shoulder so that he couldn't see the anxiety in my expression. He flinched slightly when I put pressure on a sensitive spot and I pulled back worried that I'd hurt him, but when he assured me that he was okay I gracefully lowered back to my position.

It was nearly 15 minutes before Edward broke the silence. "I was wrong."

I sat up to see his expression. "About what?"

"About Alice." I swallowed, nervous of the direction this conversation was going now. "I resented her so much after I found out about you two. It wasn't because she pulled you away from me, but because she did it so _easily_. All she had to do was smile in your direction, or hug you and your heart raced like she was the only person on the planet. I'd written it off as meaningless for so long but once I knew the truth it was as if someone had suddenly flipped a switch, and I couldn't imagine that I'd been blind to something so obvious."

"Why are you saying this?" I asked nervously. I hoped this wasn't leading to an argument with Edward too. I don't think I could handle any more emotional blows today.

"Because she fell apart when they took you. You were only gone a day and it devastated her." His eyes were sad and his hand instantly found mine, keeping me from moving away. "My body may have been paralyzed but my mind wasn't and Alice's thoughts rang louder than anyone else around me. As I listened to the anguish in her mind suddenly all my resentments seemed so petty. Because I realized that no matter how worried, or scared, or sad I was about losing you Alice would always feel everything ten times stronger. She loves you harder, she misses you more and she will defend you blindly and against all reason. This entire situation has been hard on all of us -you and Alice especially- and with Jasper gone, and the stress of Victoria weighing down on her, Alice is going to need you more than anyone else. Don't let her push you away."

I didn't have the slightest idea how to respond to what he'd said. Was Edward actually defending Alice? I don't know what surprised me more: him defending her or that what he was saying actually made sense? I felt like I'd jumped out of the frying pan and into the oven, going from one level of intensity to the next.

"How well could you hear our conversation outside?" I asked curiously after several minutes had passed.

Edward grinned guiltily. "Well enough to know whatever car you're driving needs to oil its hinges and change its brake pads." Figures. I slouched back against the headboard, pouting a bit more than I intended. If Edward heard then I was sure Seth did as well, he was just too polite to mention it. Damn vampires. Couldn't a girl argue, in a stolen car, with her homicidal vampire girlfriend in peace?

Is nothing sacred?

Whether he was right or wrong I really didn't feel like talking, my tongue felt heavy in my mouth and all I wanted was to shut my brain down for a little while.

"I don't want to talk anymore. Can we just lay here for a little while?" My eyes were closed before I even finished speaking, the mere thought of sleep acting as a sedative.

"Of course." His hand squeezed mine supportively. "Take all the time you need."

**APOV**

"So, what are you saying, that leech came here to help you?" Leah asked in disbelief. She certainly wasn't one for beating around the bush. All eyes immediately directed towards me waiting for me to offer up clarity on the situation.

Carlisle and the others arrived not too long after Bella and I parted, saving me from punishing myself any further by replaying our argument in my head for the 100th time. I could hear Bella upstairs asleep in Edward's room and everyone was careful to keep their voices to a minimum to not disturb them. It hadn't taken me long to explain to everyone what Victoria told me. Although I'd been pretty selective with the details, explaining everything _but _my connection to the Volturi until my family and I were alone. The last thing I needed was to be the Reservations latest gossip topic and for it to become common knowledge that I'd been the prodigal brat of the oldest and most dangerous coven ever to exist.

Certain stories weren't meant for public consumption.

"Yes." I answered firmly, locking eyes with Leah who was standing beside Jake and Seth against the window of our living room. Embry and Quil had refused to shift into human form and remained outside stating, they would "never step foot inside a _leech_ house." It didn't bother me, the less eyes I had on me the better. It was hard enough rehashing this story in present company.

Leah didn't look convinced by my answer. "I guess 'helping you' was what she was doing when she kidnapped Bella and beat the shit out of your brother." Leah said snidely, to which Jacob gave her a rough nudge to the shoulder and she reluctantly bit her tongue.

I frowned, feeling a little defensive at the implication that I was lying. "I never said what she did was right, but I believe her when she said the Volturi were coming here. You all saw the mark on her arm, there's no reason for her to make all that up." Leah seemed skeptical but resisted voicing any more opinions after getting reprimanded by Jacob.

"I don't get it, who are the Volturi." I looked to Carlisle to answer Seth's question, he knew more than any of us and would be able to explain the things even I was confused about.

He folded his arms as he collected his words. "The Volturi are an ancient and incredibly powerful clan of vampires. They are led by Aro, Caius and Marcus but have dozens of devoted soldiers and allies. Most of them have powers and they use them to punish or control other vampires. For instance, there is a girl named Jane who I've been told has the ability to make people feel unimaginable and excruciating pain simply with her mind." He paused for a second to make sure everyone was keeping up before continuing. "I've never had the experience of meeting Caius but Marcus and I were once friends many years ago before his wife was killed and he secluded himself in Volterra. Aro and I however, have a bittersweet relationship. Before the Volturi climbed to the status that they have now he'd offered me a place by his side but I declined him. Back then he wasn't nearly as vengeful as he is today so he grudgingly accepted my decision, but time has made him very callous and greedy and I am sure any refusal now would be met with great opposition. The Volturi represent law and order in the vampire world and defying them is often rewarded with severe punishment or death."

After he finished the room was so quiet you could almost hear the thoughts clanking around in everyone's head.

"So…what are we going to do?" Emmett's question reflected the feelings of every single person in the room.

Carlisle took a deep breath. "Well, the good thing is according to Alice we have at least 3 weeks to prepare. I suggest we all take a few days to get our bearings in order. We have two injured already and Jacob, Leah and Seth should confer with their Alpha before any decisions are made. We will meet in 3 days to discuss our options. Right now, lets all just be thankful that no one was killed or seriously injured."

Everyone nodded accepting Carlisle's suggestion. Jacob, Leah and Seth took the end of his statement as a dismal and slowly made their way to the door after confirming they would meet with us soon.

On his way out Jacob stopped me grabbing my shoulder as he leaned in. "Can you tell Bella I was here. I don't want her thinking I just ran out without checking on her." I nodded and he smiled before catching up to the others. Leah stood in the doorway watching us with a tight frown and I just barely missed the eye roll she tossed in my direction before turning around and leaving. One more person annoyed with me was hardly surprising. I shrugged it off as I headed towards my room. I flopped onto my bed like a sac of wet sand relaxing into the comforts of my cushions. I figured I was the last person Bella felt like seeing at the moment but that didn't stop my heart from aching to be near her. I groaned into my bed sheets cursing my stupidity. When she awoke I would have to tell her everything. It was a conversation I was seriously dreading but I knew was necessary.

I must've been laying there for half and hour when the door creaked open and someone came inside. I felt them sit beside me and without lifting my head I knew who it was. I turned onto my back to meet Emmett's scrutinizing hazel gaze.

"Go ahead and ask me." My tone was slower and weaker than I intended, the day had finally taken its toll and I didn't have the energy to beat around the bush or sound peppier than I was.

"Is it true, what you said about you and Bella?" He stared down at me curiously and I nodded my head a single time in response.

"Who else knows?" His voice was low to prevent any intrusions and I was relieved to find that there was no judgment in his tone, only genuine interest.

"Everyone except our parents." With the exception of Rosalie everyone else had found out accidentally. Bella and I really hadn't been as careful as I thought we were considering that two thirds of my household knew something that was supposed to be private.

"Rose never told me." His face fell. Rose and Emmett were always open with each other, they didn't keep secrets they way Bella and I were regrettably accustomed to. I could tell it bothered him that Rose knew something so important and didn't share it with him.

"Don't blame her. I asked her not to."

"Why?"

I hesitated, the question taking me off guard because I didn't have a simple answer. I could've told everyone all at once when it first happened but I didn't. "I don't know. I guess I didn't know if it was real for Bella. I didn't know what she really wanted and I didn't want put any pressure on the situation."

"And now? Is it real?"

"Too real." I wanted her too much and she was sacrificing her safety to be with me.

"What does that mean?"

"I can't explain it. I just…I don't want to lose her."

Satisfied with my answers Emmett stretched out on the spot beside me, placing his hands under his head. "I'll keep your secret just, don't make me lie to mom and dad. I'm a terrible liar around them."

He was right, he was a terrible liar when it came to Carlisle and Esme. His record for holding a secret from our parents was 2days before he completely spilled. I was sure he'd do his best this time but I didn't want to put him under the gun. "I'll tell them."

"Good." We lapsed into a comfortable silence for nearly an hour, I'd rested my head under his chin and when he started speaking again I could feel his chest vibrate against my ear. "You know you two being together is kind of-"

I frowned already having an idea of what was about to come out of his mouth. "Please don't say _hot_." I knew how Emmett's mind worked, it was only a matter of time before his thoughts fell into the gutter.

He laughed, playfully shoving my shoulder as the chuckles came out. "Actually I was going to say _perfect_. You two being together is kind of perfect."

I don't think I could've been any happier than I was in that moment.

* * *

><p><strong>Congrats to those folks who guessed the song. It was Your Hand In Mine by Explosions in the Sky. You five ppl truly got a look at how much my writing changes in the editing process because, as you probably noticed, the excerpts I sent were altered quite a bit in the final post. But thanks for playing my little game it was fun!<strong>

**Sassaricando, Windrider0, BexCatchingFire - You guys are killing me with the Victoria love. ;) I gotta admit Victoria interests me also. She is very complex. Whether or not she has a happy ending is up to interpretation of the readers. Hopefully you guys won't be disappointed. :)**

**Neb87 and Antonia23 - Thanks for your reviews and I hope you like this update!**

**Let me know your thoughts! Review? **


	26. Chapter 25 - The Day After (Part 1)

**A/N: So...yeah.**

**The Day After**

**(Part 1)**

I sat in Carlisle's office chair compliantly as he moved around the room on auto-pilot gathering everything he needed to treat my injuries. If I hadn't known any better I'd swear I was living in an episode of The Twilight Zone. You know the kind of episode where vampires exist and the hapless protagonist is trapped in a strange cycle of déjà vu, destined to repeat the same events over and over again in time. While I was sure my life would be great for prime-time television it was most certainly a drag in reality.

This was the second time I'd been in Carlisle's office waiting to be stitched up like a Raggedy-Ann doll. What Alice said earlier about "not knowing if the next time would be the last" resonated in my mind as my eyes followed Carlisle across the room. I suppose she was right about my ephemeral well-being, after all there was only so much a band-aid and a visit to the Good Dr. could fix.

But what other option did I have? Stay away from Alice? Become a vampire? Both of those alternatives made my insides twist into knots just thinking about them.

Granted, I was dating a vampire, so it wasn't as if I abhorred the idea of vampirism. Some aspects of it even seemed pretty cool -like super strength, super speed, super _everything_- it was almost like being a _super_hero and what kid hadn't dreamed about that at least once in their life? The problem was I couldn't fathom a lifestyle where I was completely driven by my instincts, or where immortality was a mandatory precursor and I would undoubtedly outlive every person I've ever cared about. I know some people who would kill to be young forever but I wasn't one of them, especially if it meant an eternity of High School algebra, being carded at bars and consistently being talked-down to by "adults" who thought they knew better.

But then there was Alice. Ahhh, Alice. She softened the idea and made it worth contemplating, worth changing my entire outlook. Couples often made sacrifices for each other, right? Why couldn't this be one of them? Then again we were talking about more than who got the right side of the bed at night, or whether or not the toilet paper should roll downwards or upwards on the roll. We were essentially talking about killing me and then bringing me back to life as a bloodthirsty immortal superhero…_with_ flawless skin.

I sighed. My head ached and thinking about this was making it 10x worse.

I looked down at my arm, which was red and raw after the 40mins I'd spent in the shower trying to scrub away the emotional scars of yesterday, but all the soap and water in the world wasn't hot or strong enough to carve out the flashbacks of blonde hair, red eyes and teeth that glistened slick with my blood. I'd hoped to feel better -once I was clean and had traded in my dirty clothes for a white button-up and cigarette trousers courtesy of Alice's closet- but I didn't. I felt just as I had when I was at the warehouse, worn out and eager to return home. Alice, Rosalie and Emmett had gone for a much needed hunt, taking Edward -whose eyes had been dark as night when I'd woken up- with them. I hadn't seen them since I'd gotten back but honestly I supposed it was a good thing. I didn't know how Rosalie or Emmett would react to knowing I'd been bitten and I figured the hunt would at least help everyone burn off a little steam.

Carlisle, apparently finished with his medical scavenger hunt, rolled a stool in front of me then took a seat on top. The items he'd collected were organized in neat rows on an elevated steel tray beside him. His eyes met mine and he smiled warmly before taking my arm in his hand.

"I can't even begin to express how relieved we are to have you back safely. You had us all very worried. There a lot of people looking out for your well-being and we will do everything in our power to make sure nothing like this ever happens again."

"Thanks Carlisle." I believed him when he said they'd do everything they could to defend me, even if I didn't believe they would always be successful.

Regardless it was a nice gesture.

He began to examine the bite wound and his brow furrowed in consternation before relaxing into the controlled expression I was accustomed to seeing from the doctor.

"You're very lucky he stopped when he did. There's no telling the damage he could've done otherwise." I had a pretty good idea of "the damage he could've done." Carlisle's words were meant as a comfort but I honestly didn't feel lucky at all. I was a magnet for misfortune, that hardly seemed very lucky to me.

A few minutes later -after he'd checked my reflexes, vitals and every other procedural ritual doctors usually do that seem entirely superfluous- he paused to stare at me intensely before asking,

"Do you remember how many vampires were present where they held you?" One hand held my arm in place as the other reached for a disinfecting swab on the tray. I thought about the question for a second before answering, my voice was slightly hoarser than normal as I detected the telltale tickle in the back of my throat of a emerging cold.

Great.

Like I said before, a magnet for misfortune.

"They kept me locked inside one of the rooms but I'm pretty sure it was just four of them." I realized Carlisle and the others hadn't met Laurent, and I'm sure after Alice offered up the foggy details of my captivity they were probably even less sure of the size of Victoria's coven. For all they knew she could have had dozens of allies, although I doubted that strongly. Given Victoria's dictatorial and reserved personality I didn't think she would voluntarily surround herself with large groups of vampires she'd have to be responsible for keeping in line. Her entire coven was comprised of the type of vampires who seemed capable yet valued of their solitude, none of them particularly open or friendly.

I'm shaken from my wayward thoughts with another question from Carlisle. "Did she say anything about where they were planning on going next?" He gently rested my arm on the steel table between us, abandoning his ministrations momentarily as his eyes remained glued on mine awaiting my response.

"No, nothing like that." I answered squirming under the intensity of Carlisle's pensive stare. I barely understood half of what Victoria said to me, she had a knack for talking in riddles.

"Did she mention how many vampires were coming-" His next question was cut in half by a soft female voice behind him.

"Carlisle?" We both turned to find Esme standing in the, now open, doorway. She smiled fondly at her husband as she made her way towards him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Do you mind if I take over?" She asked sweetly. Carlisle glanced to me then back to Esme clearly wanting to continue picking my brain for useful information, but evidently realizing he'd been practically interrogating me for answers I barely knew. They stared at each other for about 2 seconds longer before Carlisle smiled then politely excused himself allowing his wife to step in.

"We're all a little curious about what happened while you were away but there will be plenty of time for questions later. Right now it's important that you relax and feel comfortable." Esme whispered with a sly smile that I easily returned. She picked up where he left off and began dabbing at the bite with disinfectant making me hiss when the acidic solution ran across exposed teeth indentations. I watched as the fleshy pink skin foamed like an elementary school volcano as the smell of alcohol filled my nose.

"This will probably leave a scar but if we keep this salve on it shouldn't be too noticeable." She squeezed a thin line of ointment onto her index then tenderly rubbed it over the injury. I watched her work with adoration and appreciation. Esme just had a way about her that made people instantly feel loved and at ease. She could warm the heart of even the most callous person and leave them feeling light as a feather in her presence. An unexpected surge of guilt swelled in my chest as I recognized that Esme exhibited more maternal consideration in the one and a half years that I'd known her than the entire eight years I'd lived with Renee after my parent's divorce. Renee had her strengths but she was never one for expressed affections or attention and she completely freaked out at the sight of blood which, for a child as accident prone as I was (there were a lot of scrapped knees), was quite unfortunate. I smiled at the irony that a vampire was more comfortable around my blood than my own mother.

"The piercings in this bite are a bit irregular." Esme commented offhandedly, still smoothing the ointment on in circular motions. "James did this?" Her eyes remained on her actions studying the bite more closely.

"Yeah, he did." I answered, clearing my throat a second after speaking when I felt another rasp scratching the back of my tonsils.

Esme was quiet for a while as she finished with the ointment and began wrapping my wrist tightly in fresh gauze. She was silent so long I assumed she'd let the subject drop until she spoke again. "Only James?" Her eyes caught mine and held my gaze with an expression that said she knew the answer but wanted my confirmation anyways.

I swallowed thickly, not entirely keen on reliving the incident in my head or in casual conversation. Who was I kidding? If forgetting the entire ordeal was my plan then I was certainly off to a unimpressive start. I was literally scarred with the reminder of what happened to me, there was no way a few bandages and some heavily consumed denial was going to make it all go away.

"James was the one who bit me but Victoria…well, she kinda-"

"She sucked out the venom?" Esme sounded just as astonished as I'd been when it was happening, but the fact that she was able to complete my thought told me the incident wasn't as uncommon as I'd once thought.

"Do you know why?" Her eyes were wide and intrigued, her gaze torn between watching me or staring at the bandage as if she had x-ray vision to see through it.

I wish I did know. I'd been thinking about that moment (among others) every since I got back to Forks, replaying the incident involuntarily in my mind like a broken record skipping over the same lyric over and over again.

_"Trust me, the last thing I want is for **you** to be around for an eternity." _

At the time I didn't understand what those words meant but the more I thought about it the odder they seemed. What was so threatening about me that Victoria would keep me human to prevent? Why should she care if I turned or not?

"I guess, she didn't want me to turn." I almost face-palmed at my ridiculously unhelpful ability to state the obvious.

I could tell Esme was expecting a more comprehensive answer but she didn't press the issue, for which I was thankful because just thinking about everything again was making my head spin.

"Ironic, huh?" I was smiling though I wasn't actually amused and Esme, realizing this, did the only thing she really could to make me feel better. She hugged me. She didn't ask any more questions, or offer some meaningless sympathetic words that would only make me feel worse. She just held me the way only a mother could and soothed my tears when my emotions began to get the better of me.

"Oh sweetie, it's okay. It's okay." She shushed rocking us back in forth slowly.

Though the embrace was comforting -and greatly appreciated- I couldn't help but wish Alice was the one with her arms around me. My mind automatically returning to her throughout all the drama like a love-sick boomerang. I was amazed that I could be so upset with her yet still prefer her presence over her absence, still crave the sound of her voice, or the contrast of her cold but delicate fingers pressed to the warmth of my skin. To my surprise I'd already forgiven her for whatever it was she was keeping from me and I probably always would forgive her. No matter what she hid, or what she did. That couldn't have been healthy for any relationship, forgiveness wasn't meant to be dispersed so liberally.

I let Esme hold me for nearly twenty minutes before I felt the strength to pull away. "Can you take me home please?" I dried my eyes and sat up straight pretending not to be a wuss at least until I was back in the privacy of my own room where no one would see. Esme wiped my tear stained face with her thumb before saying,

"Of course. I'll take you back now if that's what you'd like?" I nodded and we both stood to leave, Esme leading the way. We headed straight through the kitchen, reaching the door attaching the main house to the garage within a few seconds, but just as Esme grasped the knob it was pulled back revealing a golden eyed Alice on the other side.

I wavered at the sight of her like a drop of water freezing in mid air the moment it falls. Alice's reaction time was a lot quicker than mine as she stepped inside, moving around Esme to come to a stop in front of me. She'd changed clothes as well and was now wearing a dark grey chiffon blouse with _very_ short black denim shorts. I tried to ignore the fact that her shirt was scandalously translucent -and I could totally see the outline of her bra underneath- as I forced myself to meet her eyes. I wasn't sure if I was angrier about the fight we'd had earlier or that she'd shown up after her hunt looking so sexy on a day that I was pissed at her? We stared at each other a bit awkwardly -Alice's eyes studying my clothing choice approvingly (almost proudly)- before she finally addressed Esme and I.

"You're leaving?" It wasn't really a question though it was oddly phrased like one, and if I had to bet I was almost positive that Alice intentionally rushed back in time to catch us before we left. If she were human she'd be panting and sweating but instead she looked completely composed and entirely nonchalant as if her arrival was mere coincidence. Damn vampires.

"I'm taking Bella home but I'll be back shortly." Esme answered giving Alice a small reassuring smile.

Alice nodded to her mother before returning golden eyes to me. We stared at each other just long enough to make Esme feel completely out of the loop leading her to make a hasty exit to wait in the car, but not before sparing a few curious looks in our direction.

"How are you feeling?" Alice asked, stepping closer the instant the garage door clicked shut. Her voice was gentle and her expression was apologetic, our brief separation had clearly given her enough time to reflect and regret how things went in the car.

"Fine." The monosyllabic and slightly clipped response I gave received exactly the reaction I'd expected, a pursing of the lips and an unconvinced frown.

"I should get going Esme's waiting and I really need to get home." It _wasn't _a lie but it _was_ an excuse to leave, especially since my eyes had dropped to her bra at least twice since the conversation started. Dammit, could she please put on a real shirt? I started towards the door but stopped when soft fingers circled my hand pulling me back.

"Wait Bella, just talk to me." Her hand didn't release mine even after I'd turned around and her thumb proceed to circle lightly across the back of my fingers. I was sure that she knew how distracting her touch would be and she was definitely using it to her advantage. The action was almost enough to make me want to stay, almost enough to make me forget why I was angry to begin with. I needed to put some space between us, stand my ground and not be lured into instant forgiveness. We had serious trust issues that needed to be resolved before we could go back to the way things were.

I tugged my hand free from her grasp, watching her face fall as I did. She was practically pouting and any other day I would be more than willing to kiss it away, but not today. She couldn't keep pushing me away and still expect me to fall into her arms whenever she beckoned.

"Because that worked out so well last time? I guess the only time we can have a real conversation is when you think it's necessary?" I snipped, folding my arms in front of me and struggling not to melt into her arms at the way her eyebrows scrunched adorably in the middle. I was mad at her! Why did she have to be so…_Alice_? Charming, and sexy, and so unassuming. "I shouldn't have to keep catching you in a lie just to get the truth. We both know you're not telling me something and I'm sick of trying to put the pieces together on my own Alice. You told me you would be honest with me but you're still closing yourself off whenever things get rough. I can't be the only one trying here." Surprisingly I'd managed to keep composure through my entire sentence, my eyes remaining fixed on hers the entire time.

Go Bella.

"I know." She was staring at her feet and biting the inside her cheek. I didn't want her to feel bad, I just wanted her to recognize that the way we communicated had to change. There was too much that went unsaid between us. Too many secrets.

I uncrossed my arms trying not to look too upset, but I didn't step any closer not trusting my body's natural reaction to Alice.

"I'll support whatever it is you're going through, no matter how bad it is, but that has to go both ways. I really needed you to be there for me today and you pushed me away. When are you going to understand that I don't need to be saved from you?" She opened her mouth to speak and I didn't need to be psychic to know that whatever she said would've been 'just the right thing', so I didn't give the words a chance to sound before I turned around and left the room. Leaving her to think about what I'd said and giving me some space from the stifling anxiety between us.

xxxxx

We were halfway to my house before Esme decided to comment on what happened in the kitchen.

"You and Alice seemed pretty uneasy. Did something happen between you two that you want to talk about?" I did want to talk, but there wasn't much I could say that didn't involve giving both of us away. I was honestly sick of hiding and biting my tongue and at the moment there was nothing I wanted more than to tell the truth.

Apparently _the truth_ seemed to agree because before I knew it I was blurting out words I had no intention of actually saying.

"Edward and I broke up." Subtle.

That wasn't exactly what I was looking for but -what the hell- it was the first thing that came out when I opened my mouth and once it was free it was like the first snow flake of an avalanche of honesty had fallen.

"And I'm in love with Alice." _Very_ subtle Bella Swan.

What I wouldn't give to for a sudden case of laryngitis right now.

"Oh." It was all she said but before she could say more the verbal diarrhea took over again.

"Alice…she's just so secretive about her life. Which makes me really insecure because I feel like whatever's wrong is somehow my fault. I just want her to trust me enough to be honest with me but everything is moving so fast that I feel like I'm coming undone most days. I've never cared about anyone so much and it's the most overwhelming feeling I've ever had. It all just freaks me out sometimes." I took a deep breath feeling my heart pounding against the thin fabric of my shirt as I struggled to reign myself in. I hadn't just spilled the beans, I'd run the beans over with a bulldozer and lit a match.

Esme used my pause as an opportunity to cautiously ask, "Is there anything else?" Her tone was even, revealing nothing of her opinion.

I bit my lip as one last notion barged into my mind, this time unleashing a thought that only my subconscious had been aware of until it was already passed my lips. "I think Victoria loves Alice too. I think that's why she came to Forks." Esme's head snapped to me so quickly I expected her to pull a full Exorcist and do a complete 360 spin. Her staggered expression lasted only a few seconds before she returned her eyes to the road ahead of her, trying to keep her focus on driving. I hadn't meant to say that out loud (hell, I hadn't meant to say _any_ of it out loud but I _really_ hadn't meant to say that part). I wasn't even sure if it was true. I'd based my speculation purely on woman's intuition and a small part jealousy, which was a dangerous combination for any idea. Maybe it was something that was only obvious to me because I was also in love with Alice? Maybe Victoria emitted some kind of invisible frequency that could only be sensed by the like minded? Did Alice sense it also? She knew the redhead better than any of us, surely she had to have some kind of idea of what was in her mind.

I hoped I was wrong but even more so I hoped that nothing would change even if I wasn't.

"That's all." I said finally, blushing like mad and bowing my head so at least Esme couldn't see how red my cheeks were. I worried that I'd broken her when she didn't reply for a full two minutes. She pulled the car to a stop along the road about two blocks from my house, then turned to face me.

"You've been holding that in a long time." There was a hint of a smile gracing her lips and I relaxed realizing she wasn't upset with me. I don't think I could've handled it if she was. Making Esme mad was like angering the Dalai Lama…on his birthday.

"I shouldn't have told you all this." Anxiety was beginning to sink in over just how much I'd confessed and whether it had been the best decision. I clearly wasn't in the right state of mind if I couldn't even make it home without blabbing my whole life's story. "Alice is your daughter and I shouldn't have taken away her chance to tell you herself. That wasn't fair."

Esme clicked her tongue at me shaking her head. "Bella you are just as much my child as Alice or any of the others. Don't ever think for one second that you can't be open with me or that you have to apologize for it. I'm glad you told me and I'm sorry if you felt like it was something you ever needed to hide." Her hand rested on mine, gripping it in a show of support. "As long as my children are happy I will be happy for them no matter what decisions they make, or who they choose to be with. Do you understand?"

"I understand." There was a lightness in my chest that accompanied the relief of knowing she accepted me and wouldn't hold any of what I'd said against me. The truth was I couldn't handle losing Alice's family anymore than I could handle losing Alice. They all meant so much to me.

"How long have you two been…together?" Esme asked with a curious smile.

I contemplated the question for a while, tallying up the weeks in my head. "Two months." I wondered if Alice would measure time the same way I had, from the night of our first kiss rather than from the moment we agreed to actually be with each other. Every moment seemed important to me, even the ones that happened when we were still figuring things out and hadn't known what we were doing. I wouldn't sacrifice any of them.

"And Jasper?" I chewed on my lip nervously, my eyes dropping to my hands at the mere mention of his name. I never had the chance to explain everything to Jasper, to tell him how sorry I was for what I was doing with Alice while they were still together. She was married to him for Christ's sake, he didn't deserve to find out the way he had. I only hoped that one day he'd forgive me and I'd have the chance to somehow make amends for the way things happened.

When I didn't supply an answer Esme let it drop and moved onto her next question. "So, are you happy…with Alice?" Her brow quirked up at the uncertain expression on my face.

"I was." I admitted looking down, feeling a sickness in my stomach at the recognition.

"What's changed?"

"Nothing's changed. That's the problem." I folded my right leg up to my chest resting my chin on my knee. "Dangerous things are happening around me and I can't expect to be safe from them every time and Alice is so concerned with protecting me that she hides the things about herself she thinks will drive me away. I just wish things were…easier."

"Have you talked to her about any of this?"

I shook my head remembering the few non-versations we'd had the last two days. "Not really."

"Listen Bella," Esme began, sitting up straight in her seat and staring at me seriously. "Alice has always been the light of our family. All these years we've relied on her to be the one to enliven our household and now I think she's so accustomed to that role that she's afraid to be any other way. She's afraid to let people in on the darker things she feels, because deep down I think a part of her believes we won't need her anymore if we knew she's just as damaged as the rest of us." Esme shook her head softly and I got the feeling she'd had many unsuccessful attempts at breaking that mindset with Alice. "She never considers her own feelings, only those of her loved ones, it's just the way she is. She doesn't think we notice her bad days -she doesn't want us to- but we do and we love her despite them. I think Jasper was the only one she ever let even remotely close because with his gift it was always so easy for him to understand. Talk to her and tell her how you feel. She cares about you very much Bella, and I'm sure she'll do whatever it takes to make things right." I nodded, filing away Esme's advice in my head for use later on. Esme's words highlighted what I already knew I should do. I suppose I just needed someone to tell it to me to make it real.

"Thanks for the advice and for…you know…not freaking out." I rubbed at the back of my neck awkwardly watching as a slow smile registered on Esme's face.

"Anytime sweetie." She switched the car to Drive and we quietly rolled the two blocks to my house. I opened the door once the car was still but hesitated before stepping out.

My eyes fell to Esme once more, "Can we forget what I said earlier about Victoria? I was being weird." My face grew hot at the thought of the jealous accusation that had left my lips a few minutes ago. I had no proof and the manic suspicion I had over the redhead was not productive to resolving my problems with Alice.

"Already forgotten."

She waited until I was inside before I heard her car finally drive away. Telling her everything had gone better than I could have imagined. I felt lighter now that I didn't have to hold the weight of yet another secret. Hopefully the same could be said for the talk Alice and I needed to have, but right now I needed to make things right with a certain Sherriff.

It didn't take too much searching to find Charlie sitting predictably on the living room sofa watching television. He stood immediately once he saw me, juggling an empty dish and a glass in one hand as he approached.

"Hey Bells." His smile was lighthearted, crumbs falling from his mustache as his lips turned up into a pleased expression. A blinked once, twice, then a third time in rapid succession trying to determine if I was seeing things correctly. He gave me a firm squeeze on the shoulder as he passed to go into the kitchen, leaving me standing in the hall to pull my jaw off the floor.

Did I miss something?

I heard the fridge open and the clanking of glass as he shuffled items on the shelves. "Did you have a good time with Alice?" His voice traveled from around the corner.

"Umm…yeah…I guess." It wasn't my most articulate response but my mind was still busy processing why I wasn't being chewed out about curfews and 'how dangerous the world was for girls my age.'

"That's nice. She's a good girl. She should come by more often, I haven't seen her much lately." The snap and click of a can opening sounded from the kitchen before he appeared in front of me, nursing a cold beer.

"Umm, yeah…she's been busy with…stuff." Did he not realize I'd been missing for the last two days? Not to mention the mess I'd made in my room, surely that should've raised a few eyebrows. I was beginning to doubt my father noticed my presence in this house at all when he interjected my thoughts saying,

"I know you girls were probably distracted but next time be sure to leave your phone on when you stay out late. I called you this morning to let you know the city's coming to fix a few water main pipes that busted yesterday and it went straight to voicemail." He took a sip of his drink leaving foam fizzing on the tips of his mustache. "It's a complete mess out there and the construction is going to be pretty noisy so you might want finish you homework at the library for the next few days." With those few words, and a kiss to my cheek, he headed back to the living room relaxing in front of the T.V. to watch some cowboy movie that looked about 20 years too old.

I was confused, but too grateful to question whatever force had managed to subdue what I'd been sure was going to be a very long and unpleasant punishment. I dragged my body up the stairs -intent on burying my head in my pillows for either a deep sleep or a deep cry- but paused when I noticed a piece of paper taped to the outside of my door. I plucked it off, reading it as I stepped inside.

_Charlie,_

_Alice and I are going shopping. I'm spending the weekend at her house, I hope it's okay. See you when I get back!_

_- Love Bella_

I didn't write the note but as I studied the dainty, elegant handwriting I knew exactly who had. I smiled to myself, shaking my head softly at the reliability of Alice's forethought despite how hectic things had been. Looking around my room I assumed she'd also had something to do with the order and cleanliness it had been restored to. All the furniture was arranged neatly against the walls, everything in it's right place, with the exception of my dresser which for some odd reason was missing.

I walked over to my bed, flopping backwards against the soft foam mattress with a sigh. The note was still between my fingers, I brought it to my nose -swearing that I could still smell Alice on the paper. Her scent seemed omnipresent around me -saturated in my sheets, pillows, even my hair which had been thoroughly washed with one of Alice's shampoos. I inhaled her with every breath, like a perfume infused in every molecule of air and matter, my chest aching for her with each expanse of my lungs. It took 20mins of_ 'should I or shouldn't I'_ and an additional 5mins of internal goading before I finally sprung to my feet in search of my phone. Surprisingly it was exactly where it should've been, on my nightstand table placed on top of a copy of Nineteen Eighty-Four I'd been reading for English Lit. I held the device in my hand for a few uncertain moments, like a firecracker I wasn't sure I wanted to ignite, before sliding it open and dialing.

She answered in half a ring with a careful _'Hi Bella'_...

**As you can tell from the title this is a TBC chapter. I bit off more than I could chew with this one and wound up with an 8k+ word chapter which I thought was a bit insane. Folks who've been waiting forever for an update should rejoice b/c the next chapter is already 95% complete.**

**Please show some love in the review box, it's the biggest reward I get from writing these and it really boosts my motivation by like...A LOT. (Btw, thanks to all the follows, favorites and reviews from last chapter! Even if I haven't responded yet, trust me, it totally makes my day.)**


	27. Chapter 26: The Day After (Part 2)

**A/N: So somehow in the revising process this chapter wound up being almost 8k, which is so ironic it's almost painful considering that was my reason for breaking the last chapter into two parts to begin with! Arghh. But, lol, you guys don't care about my crazy author nonsense. :P**

**Just a few quick notices before you get started. 1) I made a mix for this story! Yay! It's chapter-by-chapter so I'll add a new song for every new chapter. You should check it out if you're a music junkie like me, or check it out because it's awesome and it took FOREVER to create. (Yes, I am guilting you. I have no shame.) Here's the link: /strangeattractors/the-people-we-could-be**

**And lastly, 2) This**** chapter is not for the kiddies. Let's just say I'm finally gonna earn that 'M' rating. You've been warned so tread carefully.**

**I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>The Day After (Part 2)<strong>

_She answered in half a ring with a careful __**'Hi Bella'**__. _

"Hey." I replied a bit awkwardly, taking a small breath to still myself when the silence lapsed for a bit too long. "Do you want to…maybe come over?" I brushed a few errant strands of hair behind my ear before dropping my hand to the comforter to pick at a stray thread. I'd never been this unsure with Alice before but judging by the way our last few conversations ended I worried it was too soon for us to be on _'I miss you and want to see you' _terms. On top of that I was starting to regret my choice of words, '_do you want to come over?_', geez I sounded like I was dialing her up for a booty call. Luckily Alice didn't seem to take it the wrong way, though I could hear her smile through the phone as she said,

"Sure…but only if you want me to." She sounded like she was waiting for me to suddenly change my mind.

"I want you to." Not a second after I'd spoken there was a tap on my window. Already wound up from earlier, I jumped a nearly a foot in the air like a skittish rabbit before looking over my shoulder to see Alice balanced on the tree branch outside. _Breathe Bella_, I repeated in my head, settling all the paranoid thoughts that were making me so jumpy. I set the phone down then walked over to unlock the window allowing Alice to jump inside. Her hair was windswept and her shirt was crooked on her shoulders, making me wonder how long she'd been out there without me noticing. I cringed, hoping she wasn't watching me snuggle that note she'd left like a toddler with a teddy bear.

"You knew I would call?" I asked in what I hoped what a casual tone, ignoring the mild blush covering my cheeks as I slid the window shut to lock out the bitter Washington chill.

She shrugged. "You weren't sure so neither was I. I wanted to stay close in case you changed your mind." Her smile was apprehensive and she combed her fingers through spiky hair twice to straighten it before relaxing her hand in her pockets. It melted a part of me to know she'd been waiting for the last thirty minutes on the thin possibility that I _might _call, and despite my initial uncertainty I felt a small smile pass across my lips.

She pressed her back to the wall nearest the window, standing a good five feet away and watching me with wide expectant eyes. I wasn't sure if she was so far away because she was giving herself an easy escape route or because she was assuming I didn't want her any closer. Both possibilities stung a little bit and the latter was entirely untrue given that all I could think about since her arrival was holding her. Not to mention she was still wearing that damn see-through blouse and it was doing wonders on my concentration. She'd barely been in my presence 2 minutes and I was already ready to fold into her like a cheap dinner napkin.

"So…why did you call?" She asked as she continued to watch me expectantly. I'd been hoping we would just pick up where we left of in the kitchen, but she wasn't going to make this easy for me. She wanted me to say it.

It was a simple question but for some reason I was struggling to come up with a sensible answer. I guess I figured I'd get a weird look if I told her that her scent was driving me stir-crazy, and even though I was disappointed with the way things had been between us recently I didn't feel like being alone and I _really _wanted to see her. It wasn't until I noticed that Alice was already giving me "that weird look" that I realized I'd spoken out loud. I wanted to bury my head in the sand at my amazing ability to effortlessly put my _entire _foot in my mouth, but instead I stood my ground and attempted to ignore the seven shades of red my face was turning. Alice took a moment to evaluate my words before a smile slowly graced her lips, a _real_ smile that spread all the way from the corners of her mouth to the corners of her eyes. I hadn't even realized how much I'd missed the expression until it was right in front of me just as mesmerizing as the last time I saw it. I wanted to contain it, box it up and store it away under my bed or in my closet like a record I could pull out anytime I wanted to revisit it.

Once the ice had been broken (courtesy of my big mouth) Alice finally pulled away from the wall, stepping forward until only a few inches remained between us. I watched her hands twitch at her sides in her struggle to resist touching me, it was so obvious it was making _me _antsy.

"Being with you is so much scarier than I imagined." I laughed. That wasn't exactly what I was expecting to hear, but from the immediate grimace that formed on Alice's face, I guessed it hadn't been what she was expecting to say either.

She waved her hand in the air dismissing the statement with a small frown as she searched for words to clarify what she meant. "I didn't mean it like that. It's just…I'm torn between wanting to be with you all the time and wanting to keep you away just so I know you'll be safe from whatever hell is in my life. I feel like I'm losing my mind….or turning into _Edward_." Her nose crinkled at the idea and her lips pressed together as if she'd just sucked on a lemon. I bit my lip to keep from grinning too widely at the absurdity of the comparison as I waited for her to finish.

"I always scolded him for the way he treated you as if you were some fragile doll he had to keep on a shelf, but here I am doing the exact same thing. Uhhgg, I can't believe I'm turning into my brother." She looked genuinely mortified as she buried her face in her hands. I couldn't think of two people more different than Alice and Edward. Even on Alice's most overprotective days she was still leagues better than Edward had been when we were together. I mean, we're talking about the same man that once cut my food up while I was in the restroom as if I were an infant who hadn't learned to chew solids yet. Apparently he'd thought the pieces were "too large to safely swallow." Needless to say we'd had a very long chat about boundaries after that mealtime disaster.

I pushed her hands away from her face and replaced them with one of mine on her cheek, my grin had sobered but Alice still looked embarrassed. For a moment I imagined what it would look like if the roles were reversed and it was her cheeks that were covered in a faint red blush. Knowing Alice it would probably just make her even more charming, whereas when I blushed I looked like a total spaz. Her hand slid up to cover mine, keeping it in place and sending waves of warmth through my entire body with the gentle touch.

"Don't worry, you're way too short to be confused for Edward." I teased and she playfully slapped my hand away feigning annoyance.

I felt a small sense of relief that the mood had been lightened with playful banter and cheesy jokes, and for a few minutes time seemed to slow to a crawl as we just existed in the others presence. Neither of us moved, our eyes were locked so intensely on each others that I could distinguish the reflection of myself in the swirls of golden-copper that surrounded her pupils. I didn't want to do, say, or think of anything else besides the feeling of her beneath my gaze, but I knew sooner or later we'd have to confront the issues that -even now- remained between us like an invisible barrier.

It was Alice who finally decided to address the elephant in the room, and this time she picked up right where we'd left off.

"I know you don't want to be saved from me, but I will never stop feeling responsible for defending you." I pursed my lips -ready to interrupt when it sounded like the beginning of a disagreement- before Alice hushed me with a simple kiss. Any objections I'd had dissolved the instant her lips made contact with mine, leaving me in a remarkably compliant -and mildly dazed- state after she pulled away. Was I really _that _whipped that a single kiss could send every muscle in my body into rigor mortis? Yes. Yes I was.

I guess now I knew how Emmett felt.

Poor Emmett.

Once she regained my full attention she continued with her line of thought. "Bella, I need you to understand that being my mate means that I will always be defensive of you. I can't help it, it's just the way things are. I feel connected to you on a level that I've never felt with _anyone _else my entire life…not even Jasper." Her eyes dropped at the mention of Jasper, the guilt still present even after weeks of him being gone. I wondered if it would ever fade away, or would it hang over our heads forever like a permanent storm cloud? I guess I'd either have to ignore it or learn to walk in the rain every now and then.

"Vampires express love with an intensity that can be overwhelming for humans. Our instincts drive us to do impulsive, dangerous things for the sake of our mate and I'd be lying if I said I could guarantee that I'll never make the same mistakes again. But I'm trying to be better…I _really _am." I could see the sincerity in her eyes and feel it in her words. Her fingers ghosted across the bandage covering my wrist and for the first time there wasn't a shred of anger in her features as she looked at it, only affection and a sadness I couldn't place.

"I shouldn't have lashed out at you this morning. I know you think I shut you out because I don't trust you, but it's never been about my trust in _you_. I don't trust _myself _to protect you anymore and I can't handle the thought that I've exposed you to a life that could kill you…a life that could take you away from me."

I didn't know what to say and even if I did I doubted it'd make any bit of difference in her opinion. This was the darkness that Esme was referring to, the anxiety that Alice hid underneath playful smiles and innocent eyes. Suddenly her behavior in the car (and in our entire relationship) began to make sense -the protectiveness, the anger, the secrecy- it was all a product of fear and insecurity because she felt powerless to prevent all the awful things that constantly threatened us all.

I'm not sure if what happened next was born out of my desperation to comfort her, or if it was my feeble attempt at distracting her (and myself) from the truth of what was said, but suddenly I was kissing her. Kissing her hard and in a way I hoped communicated every word that was stuck in my chest, and every emotion swimming through my head. My hands cupped either side of her face -though my left hand was positioned a tad awkwardly due to the inconvenience of my cast- and hers fell to my waist as she returned the kiss eagerly making my stomach swirl in excitement. The kiss quickly intensified, each stroke of her lips striking mine like flint and igniting a new flame of emotion within me. It had been a while since we were close and the silent physical withdrawals my body had endured were chipping away like old paint flakes the longer Alice was touching me. I surged forward hoping to deepen the kiss but just as my tongue parted wet lips to meet hers she pulled away.

I wasn't sure whether I wanted to sob or scream at the loss of contact, but I knew absolutely did not want to stop.

Alice stared at me with a serious expression and I could tell she had something to say. "I need you to do something for me." My eyebrows raised, silently asking what it was, though to be honest I was ready to agree with just about anything she asked of me.

She hesitated, biting her lip as she mustered the nerve to speak. "I need you to promise me you'll reconsider the possibility of becoming a vampire…_someday_." She hurriedly threw the last word out just to be sure I didn't misconstrue the suggestion as an ultimatum. Although, objectively speaking, that was exactly what it seemed like (a politely phrased one but an ultimatum nonetheless).

My hands dropped back to my sides but Alice's hold on my waist tightened, determined to keep me from retreating.

"Oh." I said blankly.

I guess I should have seen that coming. Of course she would want that, especially after what happened with Victoria. Unlike Rosalie and Edward, Alice had never held such strong dislike for her life as a vampire. She'd resented her past and her inability to remember her human life but she'd never regretted her lifestyle or the family it had brought her. To her it was a way of keeping us all together and of keeping me safe, like a safety belt or a life-jacket.

"Alice, I-"

"Bella this doesn't have to be a bad thing, in fact it can be _so _beautiful. You'll be stronger, and faster, you can have _everything _you've ever wanted. We could leave Forks and go anywhere we want..._do_ anything we want. There's so much I could teach you and so much we could experience together." Her eyes lit up and her smile was so bright it almost hurt to look directly at it, but beneath it all I sensed a certain desperation as if it was more important to her now than it had ever been before Victoria came to town. The last time we discussed it she'd seemed content to wait and take things slow, but now she was practically begging me to commit myself to a life we both knew I was apprehensive about.

Once she saw she was losing my attention her index fingers hooked in the belt loops of my jeans slowly tugging me against her and bringing my eyes back to hers. My body instantly grew hot and my heart-rate quickened like the tempo in a electronica song, spiking even more when her lips hovered in front of mine like bait on a fishing line. It felt like a sin to have her lips so close without any contact and I couldn't resist the distance a moment longer. I dipped my head forward to press her mouth to mine only to have her duck away again as she grinned at me with a knowing smile.

"Please, say you'll think about it. This is important." She commanded, as her fingers continued to circle in my belt loops keeping my focus half on the words she was saying and half on what she was doing. I was definitely being manipulated but at the moment I couldn't bring myself to care. It had been way too long since I'd touched her -like _really _touched her- and my body was practically vibrating with the need to feel her skin on mine. I hadn't forgotten about the things we needed to talk about, or my curiosity about what had happened with Victoria in the forest, but those thoughts were hastily shoved to the backburner of my mind and replaced with the sudden urge to do a lot more than _talk _with Alice.

I sighed heavily before quickly rushing out the words she wanted to hear. "Okay, I'll think about it…I promise." The elation in her eyes was worth the minor internal panic that was coursing through me at the thought of actually considering it, but my doubts were short-lived when I was rewarded with Alice's lips crashing against mine. It only took me a second to respond, and my hand immediately slipped behind her neck to pull her further into the kiss as hers remained on my waist clutching at the denim fabric. The tension that was previously between us seemed to catalyze the moment, causing my body to react so quickly to her touch it was almost embarrassing when that familiar throb began to pulsate between my thighs. Alice was clearly suffering the same side-effects because her usually gentle and unhurried method was traded for a bruising assault that left me lightheaded and barely able to recall my first-name. As her tongue parted my lips -massaging so vigorously with my own it was almost obscene- I couldn't subdue the pleased groan that escaped me.

"That didn't take very long." She teased lightheartedly while grinning like the cat that ate the canary. I rolled my eyes before pulling her mouth back to mine, determined to wipe that self-satisfied smile away. With one carefully placed kiss to her neck it wasn't long before Alice was purring her approval. I didn't even bother boasting because I was too consumed by the sounds she was making to pay attention to anything else. Without disconnecting our lips we backed into what I thought was my dresser but instead was only an empty space, causing both of us to smash into the wall roughly. Alice giggled into the kiss and I felt her chest vibrate underneath me as she laughed.

"Alice, what happened to my dresser?" I was pretty sure Victoria hadn't "kidnapped" that as well and it was definitely there yesterday.

She bit her lip still smiling. "I might've _accidentally _destroyed it?"

Now it was my turn to laugh. "Are you asking or telling me?"

"Okay, I broke it! But I'll get you another one…a better one." Her words were punctuated with another kiss though this time it was softer and much slower and both of us took the time to really feel what we were doing. Alice's kisses were always gentle, but underneath every delicate or affectionate caress there was always a silent resistance as if every action was delivered at only half-force.

She was holding back.

It made sense considering she could literally crush me with her pinky finger. Edward used to do the same thing, although with him is was a lot more obvious because he wasn't as strong as Alice. When he kissed me his mouth was always half-shut. I could never reach his tongue, only his teeth. I always felt like I was kissing him wrong but later I realized he was just trying to keep his thirst from overwhelming his control. Alice was different, she wasn't driven by her thirst (at least not in the same way), with Alice it was all about hormones. She wasn't holding back because she wanted to feed from me, she was holding back because she wanted to _claim_ me.

And she started with my breasts.

One hand was already under my shirt, massaging my breast under her palm, while the other hand circled around my back pulling me into the action. I inhaled sharply at the chill of her hand sliding over my bare chest and my nipple instantly hardened under her icy hand. It amazed me that no matter how aware I was of her presence our temperature difference always took me by surprise. Her skin was freezing yet my whole body was so hot I was almost certain I could boil water just by looking at it.

It wasn't long before Alice grew discontent with her submissive position beneath me and she swiftly reversed our positions so that my back was to the wall with her pinning me to it. There was an animalistic -almost aggressive- nature to the way she touched me and I'd be fooling myself if I said it wasn't completely turning me on. It wasn't so much _what _she was doing that was so hot (although that was a huge part of it), it had more to do with the fact that my normally sweet, unassuming pixie could be so sexually assertive behind closed doors.

As if to emphasize my point her left leg abruptly slipped between my thighs then proceeded to grind upward into me. I gasped at the contact to the already sensitive area as I tried hard not to give into the frantic urge to press down on her knee again and again. While I was busy trying to keep myself from coming undone Alice was kissing a trail down my neck attempting to reverse all my efforts. I wanted to blame the swirling in my head and the throb between my legs on heightened vulnerability after the weekend's incidents, but I knew it was more than just that. When Alice was touching me I became nothing but a ball of nerves completely wrapped around her finger and eager for her attention. I was like a puppet and Alice was pulling all the right strings.

She continued to focus her energy on my neck as her kisses gradually becoming faster and harder until they weren't kisses at all, they were bites. Small nips above my pulse point then gentle scratches of teeth along my collarbone. A particularly sharp one under my jaw found my lips part at the shock of it before she soothed it by dragging a cool wet tongue firmly across until my cry was transformed into nothing more than a strangled whimper.

I was definitely playing with fire.

I knew I shouldn't allow a vampire to fixate on such a sensitive area. All it took was one area of skin to be pinched a bit too forcefully, or a scratch with a tiny prickle of blood and things could quickly go wrong. I titled her head up needing to see her eyes, needing to make sure she wasn't pushing herself further than she could control, and just as I expected they were black as ink.

She immediately tried to reassure me once she realized what I was doing.

"I'm okay." I believed her right up until the moment her chest rumbled and her eyes dropped back to my neck with a stare so intense I could practically feel it on my skin.

"You're not." I countered, pushing her back a few inches.

Her eyes finally returned to mine and, though the haze was still present within them, I could tell she was working on calming herself down. She closed her eyes and inhaled a deep breath before opening them again a few seconds later to reveal dark -but faintly lighter- eyes.

"I promise I can manage it, just please don't stop." As she spoke her fingers began toying with the buttons of my blouse (her blouse) but her eyes stayed glued on mine, silently asking for permission. When I said nothing she began undoing them, pausing when she reached the last button.

"Do you trust me?" I did, but I had zero confidence in the strength of my own voice so I settled on a simple nod.

She smiled. "I won't hurt you." With that she unfastened the last button, pushing the shirt over my shoulders and dropping it at my feet. Suddenly everything we were doing felt very…_real_. The awareness of which brought with it an unexpected wave of self-consciousness. Alice's beauty was so blatant, every minute detail of her appearance was perfect. For goodness sake her skin was so flawless it sparkled like diamonds in the sunlight. Not to mention her entire family was like the photo that comes inside new picture frames, and the last person she'd been in a relationship with looked like a Calvin Klein model. I couldn't help but feel a bit ordinary as I shuffled nervously under her deep stare.

As if reading my mind (or perhaps noticing the blush creeping up my neck) she brought her hand to the center of my chest, trailing her index between my breasts and down my abdomen.

"You're beautiful Bella." She whispered earnestly while leaning in and brushing soft lips across my shoulder. "Don't be nervous." Her voice was noticeably huskier and both of her hands eagerly returned their attention to massaging breasts. I let my head fall back against the wall behind me, biting my lip to keep the groan from escaping my mouth and alerting Charlie downstairs. I felt like I was going to explode and for once it didn't sound like such a bad idea. My knees were weak -my body somehow forgetting how to keep itself upright- but Alice's knee between my legs kept me from slipping down to the floor. Her mouth continued its obsession with giving me the world's biggest hickey as my hands traveled between us, clumsily (thanks to the bulky plaster covering my left hand) unsnapping the buttons of her shirt. Once it was open I allowed myself to revel in the smooth, toned flesh underneath as my fingers dipped slightly beneath the waistline of her shorts eliciting a surprised gasp. She sped the process of removing her shirt up by slipping her arms out of the sleeves before her mouth found mine again. Her kisses were like a trophy silently commending my actions.

A few minutes later and my legs were practically crumbling beneath me like spaghetti going limp in hot water. The benefits of dating a psychic was that Alice realized I was going to fall long before I did and I was instantly swept up and laid flat on my bed with Alice straddling my waist. She was stripped down to a tight, black, lace bra and black denim shorts and I swallowed audibly forcing myself to concentrate on breathing. I took a moment to commit the sight of her to memory, storing it away with her smile in my mental box of 'All things Alice' as I pushed myself up onto my elbows. My position underneath her put me almost at eye level with her breasts which was undoubtedly the best view in the entire universe.

Stars, fireworks and meteor showers be damned. They had nothing on the magnificence that was Alice's body.

The desire to feel her…to taste her was overwhelming. I licked my lips before placing a firm kiss to her stomach, slowly kissing downwards before licking a wet trail back up. The action evoked a deep, guttural moan from above me as Alice's fingers threaded in my hair roughly tugging me closer in a sign of encouragement. I repeated the cycle over and over again, increasing in force each time. I doubted I'd ever get bored of the sounds she was making or the sweetness of her skin on my tongue, it was addictive and I was hooked. I had no idea where all my confidence was coming from. I'd never done anything even remotely similar before, especially not with a girl. Yet somehow with Alice none of that seemed to matter. Alice was the one thing I was inherently good at. With her, life just kinda happened, like blinking or breathing, it all just came naturally.

A thump from downstairs was the only thing able to pull my attention away from her, and I immediately glanced towards my bedroom door to check that it was properly shut and locked.

Shut? Check.

Locked? No.

I had Alice Cullen in my bed, half-naked and straddling my body. The last thing I wanted to do was move but if Charlie walked in on us I would undoubtedly die from embarrassment. And since Alice had already made it clear that she couldn't handle a dead girlfriend I couldn't just ignore it. Reluctantly I started to untangle myself from underneath her but I was immediately corrected as she pinned me back down onto the bed and her hands gripped my wrists to keep me from moving. My lips parted in protest but she end any opposition by sucking my bottom lip between her teeth with a soft growl that sent a sharp jolt of arousal straight through me. Another shuffle from downstairs sounded and I could tell Charlie was making his way upstairs. I stiffened as I listened to the dense thud of his boots clambering up the steps but Alice seemed completely unaware (or indifferent) of the noise.

"Alice please-" She cut me off again with another kiss and I was really getting annoyed with my body for being such a hormonal mess that it was allowing it. There was no way being caught like this could be explained away and Alice really wasn't making it any easier. The creak of the top step tore my eyes back to the door and I knew Charlie was directly outside now. Though her grip remained loose on my wrists to keep from hurting me her strength made it impossible for me to just wiggle free.

"What are you doing?" The nervousness was audible in my voice and her lips quirked up into smile at my frantic behavior as she quietly mouthed the word _'Wait.'_

"Hey, Bells are you hungry?" Charlie asked through the door, not bothering to open it.

Alice watched from her position above me with a sly smile as I stuttered out a hasty answer.

"No, I-I'm f-fine!" I shouted hoping he'd accept my answer and leave without investigating why my voice sounded about 3 octaves higher than it normally was.

"Say yes." Alice whispered coolly against my ear making me shiver for a reason other than fear of Charlie's interruption. Her teeth tugged lightly on my ear before licking just below my earlobe and I swallowed the groan pushing up my throat.

Taking her advice I backtracked, "Actually, yeah, I'm uhh…starving." Alice giggled into my neck and her laughter was like chimes ringing lightly in my ear. I could hear Charlie shuffling outside and once again my eyes snapped to the unlocked door uneasily.

"Okay because I was thinking I'd swing by the diner and pick up a carryout for lunch. What should I order you?"

Was he seriously asking me about food? Bless his heart, I loved my father but he honestly had _the worst _timing on the planet. Alice seemed to think it was the funniest thing ever and was giggling uncontrollably into my shoulder and I snapped my hand over her mouth to muffle the sound. She was the immortal vampire. Why did I have to be the mature one?

"Bells? Are you okay in there?"

"Yeah, I'm great! I'll have whatever you're having Charlie."

"Okay kiddo, I'll be back soon." I waited until I heard the front door shut behind him and his car roll out of the driveway before I uncovered Alice's mouth and shoved her hard in the shoulder.

"Jerk! You could've just told me he was coming." I was more embarrassed than I was upset and Alice knew it.

"Yeah, but that wouldn't have been as much fun." She patted my cheeks to cool the blush covering my face before placing a consolatory kiss on my lips. "Your dad has a terrible habit of interrupting us, and I'm beginning to think it's deliberate." Her expression was playful but I continued glaring daggers at her even though I was struggling to keep a serious face.

"Hey, don't give me that look! I just bought us a half hour." Her smile turned wicked as her fingers lingered along the top of my jeans before adeptly unsnapping the button and sliding her hand inside. Nothing could've prepared me for the feel of Alice's palm grinding into my crotch, and I gasped at the contact as my body reacted automatically to her touch by arching up into her hand.

"Now you can be as loud as you want." She whispered breathily as her fingers slid beneath my underwear.

"Fuck…"

**APOV**

I felt like my heart would fall straight out of my chest.

I'd lived for over seven decades and never once had I felt so completely undone by a single moment. The sights, sounds and smell of Bella's arousal was like the sweetest form of torture, and it slammed into every single one of my senses like a wrecking ball. She quivered beneath me as her breaths came out in short, rough bursts against my neck and the feel of her -wet and writhing in pleasure- was almost enough to drive me over the edge. She had no idea how hard it was for me to rein in my instincts, my muscles literally ached from the restraint I was placing on them, and the burn in the back of my throat was so intense it felt as if I'd swallowed hot coals.

I'd dreamed of this moment -well, day-dreamed given that I don't actually sleep- and the reality that it was finally happening was almost too intense to handle. I was honestly surprised I'd gone this long without my sexual frustrations boiling over into complete insanity. For vampires sex was wired into our nature just like hunting and though we could certainly manage without it, when we found our mates it was just as unnatural to resist it as it was for us to drink the blood of animals.

Bella's free hand subtly slid behind my back unlatching my bra with a quick flick of her fingers. The action was so practiced if I hadn't known better I'd swear she'd done it before. Had she done it before? I didn't think so, and the mere thought of her being with any other girl besides me made the venom in my blood boil.

She was mine.

No one else's.

My left arm was sandwiched between both our bodies as my hand continued massaging deliberate patterns along the slickness of Bella's sex. I could feel her thighs clench, trapping my hand between them and inspiring me to speed up my motions. Her entire body felt like an open flame beneath me, and her breasts brushed freely against my own as her body canted upwards to meet my hand.

"You're really wet." It was whispered more in awe to myself than it was to Bella, and the fact that I was able to cause such a reaction in her sent a shiver across my spine. Bella's free hand moved to cover my own pressing it down more forcefully into her as unspoken instruction for me to press harder. I could think of few things sexier than Bella literally pushing my hand further into her crotch so that I'd be rougher, and I felt my own inner muscles clench and my entire body burn as if it had been set alight.

I needed to see more of her.

Much to Bella's disapproval I pulled my hand free -resisting the impulse to bring my fingers to my lips- so that I could use both hands to tug her jeans and underwear down. She lifted her hips off the bed to help before impatiently kicking the denim pants over the edge of the bed. However once she was free, and completely naked, I could literally feel her tense beneath me as if any mustered bravado she'd been holding onto had finally given way. I stilled in my actions and adjusted myself between her legs with my hands planted on either side of her head. Her breathing was shallow and I knew she was trying very hard to decipher the unfamiliarity of sensations her body was experiencing. It dawned on me that this wasn't just sex…it was our first time together and -if I knew my brother as well as I thought I did- it was likely Bella's first time period. As much as my body was screaming at me to rush to the finish line and to find release as soon as possible, I really wanted to be considerate of her needs.

"Hey." I tilted her chin up so that her eyes were locked with mine allowing her to find comfort in my gaze. "Are you scared?"

"No." Her voice quivered and I could literally hear her heart accelerate even though, to her credit, her face showed no signs of anxiety.

"Liar." My smile was reassuring and I felt her muscles release some of their tension as she relaxed a tiny bit. "I'll go slow, and you can stop me anytime. Okay?" Despite my words the pressure below my waist was almost unbearable and I really hoped she wouldn't take me up on that particular offer, though I knew I'd honor it regardless.

"Okay." Her surety was the all the encouragement I needed to continue. I dipped my head in to press one last lingering kiss to her lips before trailing a very deliberate path down her body. I paused on my way down to tease her nipples with a swirl of my tongue before sucking one between my teeth and into my mouth, then releasing it with a soft 'pop'. Bella's moans were orgasmic and by the time I reached her center she was shivering so intensely I knew it wouldn't take much more for her to unravel. Unable to prolong my own eagerness any longer, my mouth enthusiastically surrounded Bella's sex and I could swear I heard all the air leave her lungs as she gasped in surprise. I thought I was prepared but honestly the scent of Bella's blood was nothing compared to the _taste_ of her. I was in heaven and I'd never been more thankful to be a vampire because everything around me was intensified tenfold by my senses.

My tongue slipped out dragging firmly across her slit as I attempted to consume as much of her as possible, and my fingers diligently pursued their unrelenting teasing of her nipples. I didn't need to be a psychic to know that she was close. Her eyes were squeezed shut tightly and her bottom lip was captured piercingly between her teeth as her body shook with the telltale signs of her emerging orgasm.

I wanted to take in as much of the experience as possible.

"Bella, open your eyes." I needed to see her but even more importantly I needed her to see me. "Look at me." I commanded, vaguely noting that my voice was deeper than it had ever been and my eyes were likely as black as midnight. I swallowed the venom pooling in my mouth with a grimace but kept my eyes firmly trained on Bella.

Bella's eyes flew open obediently and she watched as I circled my lips around her clit, alternating between sucking and twirling my tongue across it as I relished in the sight of her gradual undoing. Within seconds her chest was heaving as her back arched off the bed pushing her further into my mouth. Her thighs tensed around my head and her free hand reached down tangling itself in my hair while simultaneously pushing me deeper.

"Alice, fuck..." My name fell from her lips like a chant along with few more haphazard expletives. I waited until the aftershocks subsided and her legs loosened their grip before carefully pulling myself away and collapsing beside her at the top of the bed. She ran a hand through sweat dampened hair to straighten it before turning to me with a weary, but contented, smile. Her hair was splayed across her pillow in chestnut swirls, her entire body was flushed a tempting pink, and her chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm. I placed one hand under my head, resting on my elbow, as I watched her breathing slowly even out. My left hand ran up and down her abdomen, lightly dragging my nails across the smooth skin I found there.

She looked so beautiful.

I'd never been one for sappy pet-names or linking pinkies, but I suddenly felt as if I'd been transported to the land of the lovesick. I mean, I enjoyed a good romantic comedy just as much as the next girl, but I'd lived long enough to know that life wasn't all sweetness, sunshine, and kissing in the rain. Even the couples I knew who loved each other wholeheartedly -like Rosalie and Emmett, or my parents- weren't living out some Nicholas Sparks version of life. They'd been through so many terrible things and it was a miracle they'd survived at all. Still, even after knowing everything that I did about the truth of love, I couldn't deny that for once in my life I finally understood that feeling of blissful happiness that everyone brags about. Somehow it seemed fitting that after all the hurt and pain we'd suffered through recently we be allowed to feel something good for once. Even amidst the hurricane that was Victoria and the Volturi I was starting to believe that, no matter what, Bella and I would always be left standing.

I was starting to believe that we _would _survive.

"Do you know how much I love you?" I wasn't sure if I'd intended for the question to be rhetorical or not but Bella supplied an answer nonetheless.

Her eyes trailed down her naked body then returned to mine. "I think I have a pretty good idea." The tongue in cheek response was rewarded with a gentle slap to the shoulder before she sat up, mirroring my position and trading her joking expression for one of seriousness.

"I know." Her fingers reached up to brush softly across my cheek, caressing it as if I were a cloud she were trying to hold onto without altering its shape.

I could've laid there all day staring into her eyes but I knew our period of uninterrupted bliss was fleeting and apparently so did Bella, because she suddenly sprung up into a crouch, rested on her knees, then began undoing my belt with a very determined expression.

"How much time do we have left?" She asked without disconnecting her eyes from her task and proceeding to slide my zipper down.

"10 minutes." I answered statically, suddenly finding it difficult to speak as my tongue went dry. My own excitement had dulled to a somewhat tolerable ache as we talked, but was now rising to an insufferable degree with every move she made.

"It'll have to do." Was Bella's somewhat disappointed response before she looked up with a puzzled frown saying, "Does this count as a booty call?"

I giggled, remembering her phone-call from earlier that brought me here. I was amused that out of everything we had to be concerned about, _that_ was what was worrying her.

I answered honestly with a small smile tugging at my lips. "Yes, but trust me I _really_ don't mind."

* * *

><p><strong>More to come! Although I can't promise it won't be this long, it will be good...at least I think so. :)<strong>

**Thanks for all your continued support and patience! It's amazing to know that ppl actually read my stories. You're all awesome! ****And for all you secret readers, don't be shy. Let me know you're still there with a quick review. :)**

**Here's the mix link again for those that avoid the top author's notes: /strangeattractors/the-people-we-could-be**

**Btw, please excuse any errors, this was a tricky chapter.**


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